Subject: [FFML] Choices: Dilemma (Very Rought draft)
From: Mike Noakes
Date: 7/8/1998, 7:56 PM
To: Fanfic ML


	Hi!

	Well, normally I'm for relatively short preambles before a fic,
but since it's been about 8 months since I've posted any of this (and
about one year since I sent out part one), I figure I'd indulge a little.
	I won't bore you with the details of why it took me so long --
it's just been a really busy life, I guess.  End result: I've got a BA and
I'm now working in the army (well, for now...)  Up the Guards! <smirk>
	This is part two of my Choices storyline; at least, it's one half
of part two.  I think.  I'm not even sure if I'm still going to call it
Dilemma.  Maybe 'Choices: The Day After'?  It follows immediately after
Choices: The Party, and details ... you guessed it ... what happens the
very next day.  Originally it was going to include that, and Ranma's first
day back at school following the party, but I'm thinking it may be long
enough as is to stand as its own chapter.
	It's not really necessary to read 'The Party' before this one,
though I certainly hope you will -- but seeing as its been a year since I
released it, I sorta integrated a recap of what happened in that chapter
into 'Dilemma'.  Well, minus some important details...
	Anyway, enough of this.  Hope you enjoy the story (I'm not
entirely sure I'm pleased with it, and some of the later stuff is rather
rough, but, hey, its only a draft, right?).  C&C is, as always, not only
appreciated but actively desired, whether it be good or bad.
Unfortunately I'm not on the FFML (pseudo-army life is not conductive to
internet access, and I'm lucky to get to a computer about once a week), so
please send responses directly to my address (or CC it to my address,
since I wouldn't want to deny the FFML a possible thread, if any aspect of
this story is deemed worthy of discussion... <grin>)

				-Mike Noakes
***
                            Choices

Part Two: Dilemma


     Slow, reluctant rise from comforting
darkness.  Unwilling awakening to dull
throbbing pain lurking within his skull.
Queasy, empty feeling in the stomach.
General sensation of body weariness and
irritating tingly sensitivity of the skin.
Foul, pasty taste to the mouth, tongue
feeling unpleasantly thick.  Tentative
opening of one eye -- then immediate
squeezing shut, despite the relative darkness
of the room.
     Ranma groaned.  He felt terrible.  He
wanted to sleep some more.  He turned over
onto one side.
     "Oh no you don't!"  A voice interrupted
his suffering.  "Time to get up!"  A woman.
Cheerful sounding, but with an undeniable
authoritative edge.  There was the sound of
curtains being drawn, and annoying, unwanted
light flooded the room.  "You've slept long
enough!"
     "No -- no," he moaned pathetically.  "I
don't wanna get up, Mom!"  Mom.  Mom?  "MOM!"
he exclaimed, bolting into a sitting
position, sheets flying from the sudden
movement.  Interesting lights to flare before
his eyes.  Fear clutched him, almost strong
enough to overcome the redoubled pounding in
his skull.  Ranma clutched his head in pain
while peering, terrified, through a mess of
bangs at the tall woman.  She finished
drawing back the last curtain and turned
around.  Nodoka  smiled.
     "Good morning, Ranko!" she said.
"Sorry, dear, your mom is not here.  Just
me."
     Ranma blinked up confusedly at his
mother, and then, slowly, looked down at
himself.  For perhaps the first time, the
sight of breasts on his chest -- still bound
in Akane's bikini -- comforted him.  With a
sigh of relief he relaxed.  "Oh.  Ah, hi . .
. Auntie Saotome," he stammered.
     His mother kneeled next to him.  "How
are you feeling?" she asked softly, smoothing
back the redhead's hair.  Ranma realized that
his hair was unbound and flowing freely, and
somewhat messily, down his back.  He blew a
few wayward strands out of his face, which
his mom secured behind the ears.
     "Ah . . . fi -- fine, I guess," he
answered.  Then seeing the knowing look in
his mother's eyes, he grinned weakly.
"Terrible."
     She nodded as she stood.  "I'll get you
something to drink which should help to
soothe your stomach, Ranko.  I will be back
in a moment."  She stepped away, but paused a
moment before leaving the room.  "You know,
Ranko, it really is not ladylike to drink so
much," she said disapprovingly, then turned
and left the room.
     "Yeah, no kidding," he muttered as she
slid the door shut behind her.  Ranma slowly
lowered himself onto his futon, throwing one
arm across his eyes to block out the light.
What is she doing here, he wondered.  Then a
moment later: what am _I_ doing here?  Last
he could remember was . . . the pool?
Diving.  Drinking.  Playful splashing and
swimming and relaxed fun.
     No.
     There was . . . something else.  A girl?
A name hovered at the edge of his mind.  A
bathroom?  A snapshot image flashed through
his head: counter, rug, curtains, shower,
toilet.  Was it at Kiyoshi's place?  He could
not remember.  Strange.  Normally I'm really
good with names and places and stuff, he
thought.  It's not like me to forget. . . .
     Forget. . . .
     He was forgetting something.  He knew
it.  Something important.  His brow furrowed
in intense concentration as he forced
sluggish thoughts backwards: before swimming,
he had stepped into the house, looking for
some hot water, and he had bumped into. . .
     Akane.
     Ranma jerked suddenly upright once
again, eyes widening in horror.  "Oh no," he
whispered, suddenly oblivious to the renewed
pounding in his head.  An angry loud voice
echoed through his mind:
     "You pervert!
     "What kind of _guy_ hangs around other
guys wearing a _girl's_ bathing suit?
     "Some man, some fiance you are!"
     He winced at the memory -- at his
retaliation:
     "You wanted to come here, alone, right?
Well, fine.  Then you can leave here, alone,
too!  You didn't want me hangin' around you
at the party?  Fine!  Then why should I hang
around you _after_ the party?
     "After all, being alone suits you, ne?
S'not like anyone _here_ cares if you stay or
go.  _I_ certainly don't!"
     And then, worst of all:
     "Let go."  Her demand.
     "No."  His refusal.
     And he had pressed down on her wrist.
He had inflicted pain upon her.
     Ranma buried his face in his hands.
Akane's voice, dangerously soft, returned to
him, accompanied this time with the image of
her face, red and furious and strangely sad:
"I hate you," she said, and soon after: "Our
engagement is over, Ranma."  The words had
been spoken with a chilling certainty and
finality that left little doubt in Ranma's
mind that whatever had existed between them
before was irrevocably over.
     With a groan he sank back onto his
futon.
     Soon after, the door slid open once
again.  "Ranko . . . Ranko, come on now, I
thought I asked you to get up?"  He turned
his head slightly and watched as his mom
stepped back into his room.  With a sigh she
placed a small tray next to the futon.  Faint
wisps of steam escaped from the spout of the
small porcelain kettle sitting on the tray; a
cup lay next to it.  Ranma could not help but
look at the kettle somewhat nervously.
"Here," said Nodoka.  "This should help.  It
is a special Saotome recipe, renowned for
easing the effects of too much drinking.  At
least," and she smiled slightly, almost
wistfully, "it helped my husband the many
times I served it to him."  Nodoka poured him
a cupful of tea.
     Smiling tentatively in return, Ranma
accepted her offer.  "Er -- thanks," he said,
raising the teacup to his lips.
     "Don't thank me until you taste it,
dear," she answered, a slightly mischievous
glint to her eyes.  Ranma cast an inquisitive
look at his mother over the rim of the cup,
then took a deep drink.
     The liquid was hot, bitter, thick, and
thoroughly unpleasant.  He almost gagged at
the unexpected taste.  "No -- finish it,
Ranko!" insisted his mother forcefully, when,
grimacing, he pulled the cup away.
     "But. . . ."
     "Ranko. . . ."
     With a groan, he held his breath and
tried a second time.  The pungent liquid
tasted like something Akane would cook up, he
thought wryly, as the last drop finally slid
sluggishly down his throat.
     "There.  That was not so bad, now was
it, Ranko?"
     "Oh, not at all, Auntie Saotome," he
said, leveling an even stare at her and
smiling crookedly.  "Just . . . wonderful."
     Nodoka gave a small laugh.  "It _is_
rather terrible, isn't it?"
     Ranma nodded emphatically as his mother
poured out another cup.  "How much of this do
I hafta drink, anyway?"
     "Depends on when you feel good enough to
get up," answered the taller woman, smiling.
     "Ah."  He took the second cup and
sniffed at it, nose wrinkling at the piercing
scent.  "Ugh.  Then I think I'll be getting
up soon, then."
     "That's the whole point, dear!"
     Ranma snorted, but gamely tried another
tentative sip.  It tasted just as bad as
before.  "Does it hafta taste and smell so
bad?" he asked.
     Nodoka giggled, and leaned in closer.
"The truth, Ranko?" she whispered
conspiratorially.  "No!"
     "But. . . ."
     "I got into the habit of adding a few
extra ingredients when I made it for my
husband.  Oh, how he hated the taste of it!
It was just an extra incentive for him to not
drink."  She paused for a moment.  "Not, mind
you, that it ever helped!"
     Ranma giggled in turn.  Then he looked
down at the viscous, dark drink, and shook
his head.  "Well, I'm certainly not gonna
drink again!  Ever!"
     "The amount of times Genma said that as
well!"
     No kidding, thought Ranma.  Pop sure
never gave up drinking after leaving home.
At least, he drank enough while we wandered
across Japan -- a fair bit in China -- and it
certainly didn't get any better after
Jusenkyo.  But after last night -- no.  The
fight with Akane, all the stuff he had told
his classmates, even the stupid scanty
bathing suit he was _still_ wearing: it was
all the fault of last night's drinking.
Akane.  He sighed.
     "Is there something wrong, Ranko?" asked
his mother, looking down at him with concern.
     Ranma shook his head, sighing again.
"Ah, gee, Auntie Saotome.  It's -- it's
nothing. . . ."  And then, suddenly, "Umm --
is everyone else here?"
     "Everyone?  Or someone in particular,
Ranko?"
     He looked at her suspiciously, but
continued, "Is - is Akane here?"
     Nodoka smiled.  "Yes, Akane is here.
She was quite worried about you, Ranko."
     "Worried?"
     Nodoka nodded.  "And a little angry,
too, I suppose," she said.  "Although. . . ."
     He drooped and sighed.  Angry.  Of
course Akane would be angry.  She had every
reason to be, especially after what he had
said and done.  But it's her fault too,
whispered a voice in the back of his head.
She insulted you first, she blamed you first,
she _started_ it.  He cringed.  No!  He was
to blame in this.  No matter what she had
said or done, Ranma knew he had gone too far
this time.  He had threatened her.  He had
almost hurt her.  He had broken his promise
and ruined her night.  It had been her
evening out, and he had selfishly pushed her
aside and made it his own.  Ranma's face
burned red with shame.
     ". . . I really can't blame her,"
continued his mother.  "After all, I am
pretty mad with you myself, Ranko."  A note
of sternness entered Nodoka's voice, and the
Saotome `daughter' stared shamefacedly at her
futon.
     "I . . . I'm sorry," he mumbled.  "I . .
. I didn't mean to. . . ."  His voice choked.
He was almost surprised at his own reaction;
the feeling in his stomach, the trembling,
the fear.  Everybody knew.  Even his mother.
What had he done?
     A single finger gently lifted his chin
up, and caring eyes looked down at him.
"Ranko," said Nodoka, still firm, but with
added compassion and softness.  "I know you
did not mean to -- but we did expect you to
be more responsible.  I do not approve of you
drinking, but if you do -- do you not think
that, maybe, you should be a little more
careful?"
     Ranma looked up at her in surprise.  Was
that it?  What about. . .
     "You were lucky to have Akane there to
watch over you," added the elder Saotome.
"Really, Ranko, drinking to the point of
passing out!  I expected better from you!  If
your cousin had not found you and carried you
home, who knows what could have happened!
With all. . . ."
     "I passed out?" he interrupted.  "Akane
carried me home?"
     "You don't remember?"
     He closed his eyes, tried thinking back
again.  Talking with friends.  Hiroshi.
Fighting with Akane (he winced unconsciously
at that once again).  Swimming.  And then . .
. and then . . . blank.  He shook his head.
"I . . . no.  I can't!"
     "What were you thinking, Ranko?"
     Ranma looked confused for a moment.
"Huh?"
     "Drinking like that?  With all those . .
. those boys around!"
     "So?"
     Nodoka looked at him disbelievingly.  "A
pretty young girl like yourself, drunk,
defenseless, dressed like that, surrounded
by. . . ."
     "Oh, Auntie -- I don't think you have to
worry about that," he said dismissively,
smirking.  "Trust me: the guys at the party
don't . . . ah, think of me that way.  Heh.
You could kinda say they think of me as `just
one of the guys'."  But that's not quite
true, now is it, intruded a voice in the back
of his head.  Hiroshi thought you were
attractive, didn't he?  So did the other
guys.  The way they were looking at you --
they sure don't look at each other that way.
The smile slipped, and Nodoka's half-
concerned, half-annoyed look deepened.
     "Ranko. . . ."
     "No, really," he insisted.  "Ok, maybe
they _do_ look at me kinda funny sometimes,
but they wouldn't _dare_ touch me."  `Cus I'd
kill `em, he thought grimly.  Besides, they
all know I'm really a guy, anyway.  Some of
`em may be perverts -- but they're not _that_
bad!  "Really, Auntie!  If they tried. . . ."
he inserted a slightly threatening
undercurrent to his voice and mimicked
throwing a few punches.
     His mother smiled slightly despite
herself.  "You are such a tomboy, sometimes,"
she said, shaking her head and standing.
"Sometimes I despair of ever making a young
lady out of you!"
     "I'm pretty hopeless, ain't I?"
     Nodoka cast a critical eye over her
protege.  "Well . . . I know one place to
start.  We need to get you washed up and into
some decent clothing!"
     Ranma wholeheartedly agreed.  He looked
down at himself, peeked beneath the sheets:
he was still wearing nothing more than
Akane's bikini.  He felt dirty and grimy and,
taking a sniff, he noticed that he even smelt
funny, too.  His mother was right -- a nice,
hot bath, and. . . .  He looked up at his
mother and sighed.  Well, ok, maybe a not-as-
nice cold scrubbing, instead, and he would
feel a _lot_ better.  The threat of his
mother's idea of `decent clothing' kind of
worried him, but he felt he had already
disappointed her enough already.
Disappointed everyone, really.  He had a
feeling that today was going to be a very
long, very rough day.
     "I'll go and make you a light lunch, ok,
Ranko?" said his mother, heading for the
door.
     He nodded, paused, then turned to her.
"Lunch?"
     "Oh my, didn't you realize?  You slept
most of the day away, dear.  It is already
almost three o'clock in the afternoon!" she
answered, and left the room.
     He groaned once again.  Maybe not such a
long day after all.  His one day off, and he
wasted it away nursing a hangover.
_Definitely_ the last time he would ever
drink, he vowed -- it simply was not worth
it.  Eventually, and with a final sigh, he
stood up and headed to his dresser.  Grabbing
a towel and taking a deep breath, he prepared
himself for the inevitable and headed for the
bathroom.


     Nodoka Saotome whistled a happy tune as
she prepared a light meal for Ranko, hands
working with unconscious ease.  She always
felt comfortable and welcome at the Tendo's;
it was strange, really, that one place could
generate such feeling of both pleasure and
profound disappointment.  Once again, her son
and husband were gone, training.  Though she
recognized the need for constant diligence
and practice -- how else would her Ranma
truly become a man of honor, a man among men
-- she still missed them terribly.  Every
time she visited, every time she discovered
that they had already left, she invariably
felt depressed . . . momentarily.  For on
every visit, there was also Ranko.
     Ranko.  Such a sweet, spunky, vibrant
girl; such a tomboy!   So beautiful and
confident, almost cocky and arrogant, and yet
obviously so unsure of her own femininity and
insecure in her own development.  It had
never been made clear, but Nodoka surmised
that the young girl was motherless; or
perhaps Ranko and her mother simply were not
on speaking terms.  Whatever the reasons, the
Tendo cousin obviously needed and sought
female guidance -- a sort of mother-figure,
as it were.  And Nodoka. . . Nodoka was more
than pleased to fill that role.
     She frowned slightly as she stirred the
broth.  Judging by Ranko's current condition,
it was also clear that that role needed
filling _now_.  Drinking to the point of
passing out?  Picking a fight at the party?
According to Akane, her cousin had even been
flirting with many of the boys there!
Unbelievable.  Worse, she seemed utterly
clueless as to what could happen to a pretty
young girl at a party like that.  The
matriarch shook her head; Ranko and her were
going to have a little `mother' and
`daughter' talk, soon, before she left. . . .
     "Mmmm. . . ."  A voice interrupted her
reverie.  Nodoka glanced back as Nabiki
stepped into the kitchen.  "Smells wonderful,
Mrs. Saotome!"
     Nodoka smiled.  "Thank you, Nabiki," she
said, returning to her soup.  Reaching over,
she lifted up the pile of sliced green onions
on the blade of her cutting knife, and slid
them into the simmering broth.  "I'm making a
soup for Ranko.  With her stomach as queasy
as it is, I doubt she could handle anything
much heavier."  As she talked she continued
adding to her soup: celery, carrots, leeks.
     The middle Tendo daughter stepped up to
the stove and peered in.  "Looks good," she
said appreciatively, but with a slight smirk.
Nodoka gave her an inquisitive glance.
Nabiki noticed and grinned.  "I was just
thinking of Ranko.  How's she feeling?"
     "As well as can be expected, I suppose,
since I assume it was her first time
drinking."  She paused for a moment.  "It
_was_ her first time, I imagine?"
     Nabiki shrugged.  "As far as I know."
     "Good.  And I hope it was her last.  It
simply is not ladylike to drink like that. .
. ."
     "No kidding.  You'd almost think she was
a _boy_, the way she drank last night!"
     "Now, now," gently scolded Nodoka, "it
is not nice to make fun of your cousin like
that."
     "I know," said Nabiki.  "I know.  It's
just. . . well, you weren't there, Mrs.
Saotome.  Ranko looked so rough -- so
_funny_, when Akane dragged her home last
night.  And she was spouting absolute
gibberish, too.  It was the first time I've
seen . . . Ranko, heh, drunk.  Absolutely
priceless -- and I've got the pictures to
prove it!"
     "Nabiki!"
     The young girl grinned.  Nodoka turned
back to her soup, hiding a slight creasing of
her brow.  After all, they were not her
children -- but sometimes, she found Nabiki
to be just a little to brash for her own
good.  But it was not her place to say
anything.  Instead, she gave her soup a taste
and nodded in satisfaction.
     "Almost done," she announced.  "Would
you like some?"
     Nabiki took another sniff, and nodded.
"For sure!"
     "Do you think Akane would like some as
well?"
     "Well," answered the Tendo, "She's been
out in the dojo all day -- which means that
she's probably pretty hungry."  She paused as
if in thought for a moment.  "Did you mention
whether Ranko was coming down any time soon?"
     Nodoka pulled a small stack of bowls
from the kitchen cupboard.  "Ranko should be
down any moment, the poor dear.  She said she
would eat right after a quick bath."
     "In a moment?" said Nabiki, grinning
evilly.  "I'll go get Akane right away!"  The
girl turned and quickly strode from the
kitchen.


     Nabiki frowned as she watched her
younger sister finish a kata in the dojo.
The piles of shattered cinder blocks were
expected; this was not.  Akane was complete
immersed within her movements, moving with an
intensity and -- and abandon, Nabiki
realized, that was quite unusual for her.
And yet, for all her concentration, Akane's
form was flawed, uncontrolled, almost sloppy.
Even Nabiki could tell.  Which meant that
something was bothering her sister, something
important.  It suddenly occurred to Nabiki
that, perhaps, something more serious than
just Ranma getting drunk and making an idiot
of himself had happened at the party last
night.
     "Hey, Akane," she called out, stepping
into the training hall.
     Her sister started at the sudden
interruption, and completed her technique
messily.  "Na - Nabiki," she said, giving her
head a little shake.  "I didn't hear you come
in."
     "You ok, Sis?" interrupted the older
sister.  "You look a bit out of it."
     Akane flushed slightly as she wiped the
sleeve of her gi across her forehead.  "It -
it's nothing, Nabiki.  Just having a bit of
trouble concentrating."
     Obviously, thought Nabiki, but why?  No
doubt that idiot Saotome had insulted her or
something last night.  Akane's recount of the
party had been rather sketchy this morning,
and her story had been full of holes, leaving
large sections of the night unaccounted for.
Nabiki had thought nothing of it -- what
reason had she to be suspicious?  If Ranma
had done anything to annoy her, Akane could
be counted on to let the world know (as she
had this morning); and if her sister had been
up to anything more . . . serious, like
drinking or something, than what of it?
Nabiki had had her first experiment with
alcohol at the very same party last year, and
remembered that night quite fondly; why deny
Akane the same?
     But, obviously, _something_ had not gone
well.  Perhaps she ought to give a few
friends a call.
     "So what did you want, Nabiki?" asked
Akane.
     "Huh?  Oh.  Aunt Saotome just made some
soup.  She wanted to know if you were hungry.
Smells good!"
     Akane seemed to consider it for a
moment, then gave a single nod.  "Sure.  I
guess I am kind of hungry," she answered, and
fell into step beside her sister.
     "So how are you feeling?" asked Nabiki.
     Akane shot her a sideway glance.  "Fine.
Why?"
     "You just seem a bit . . . tense.  Still
pissed off at Ranma?"
     They stepped up onto the veranda.  "I
don't want to talk about it, Nabiki."
     "Oh, c'mon, Sis.  You sort of glossed
over the details -- what did he do?  Fool
around behind your. . . ," prodded Nabiki.
     "I said," exclaimed Akane loudly, as
they stepped into the house, "I don't want to
talk about that hentai _baka_!"
     Sudden silence greeted their arrival.
Looking around, Nabiki realized that they had
all arrived at the table simultaneously: Mrs.
Saotome, stepping out of the kitchen with a
tray laden with bowls; father and Uncle
Saotome (in panda form, of course) crossing
over from their habitual shogi-playing
position; and finally Ranma, turning the
corner, wrapped in a towel and carrying his
bath accessories.
     Tension levels rose considerably.
     Mrs. Saotome was the first to break the
silence.  With a small frown, she turned to
Akane and asked, "Are you talking about my
son, Akane dear?"
     The shift in her sister's demeanor was
stunning.  She was suddenly smiling --
though it fell far short of Akane's eyes and
was so obviously false and forced to anyone
with any degree of perception that Nabiki
wondered how anyone could fail to see through
it -- and she answered in a too-too cheerful
voice, "Not at all, Aunt Saotome.  I was
talking about . . . about some jerk at the
party last night.
     "Isn't that right . . . Ranko?"  And the
forced smile, forced cheerfulness in Akane's
voice hit a chilling high as she turned to
her nervous-looking fiance.
     "Ah -- ah. . . ," he stammered, eyes
flicking back and forth across everyone in
the room, seemingly unable to meet Akane's
steady gaze.
     "Say, how are you feeling, anyway,
Ranko?" asked Akane, and this time there was
a slight, almost imperceptible tremor to her
voice, buried by the time she finished.  "You
looked pretty sick last night."
     "Er, ah -- yeah.  Fine.  I feel . . .
fine."  He took a hesitant step forward.  "I
was, ah, just going to take a bath, Akane."
He nervously crossed the room; Akane stepped
back to give him space to pass by; he
hesitated once again before doing so.
     And as he drew up beside Akane, she
asked, "Oh, and I was wondering if you were
done with my bikini yet, Ranko."  The
cheerfulness in her voice suddenly dropped
like a rock, leaving her words hard and cold.
"Was it worth it . . . Ranko?"
     Ranma flinched back as if slapped, then
dropped his gaze to the floor.  Finally,
after a long-seeming moment, he raised his
eyes to Akane's, and matched her glare with a
look -- a searching gaze, an enigmatic glance
-- that defied Nabiki's attempt to decipher.
Another moment, then he sighed and stepped
away.  Without another word or look back, he
stepped into the bathroom.
     "Well, I see she's looking much better!"
said Mrs. Saotome with honest brightness,
serving out the bowls of soup.  Father and
Panda nodded sagely before tearing into their
meal; Akane calmly sat at the table and began
eating methodically.  Nabiki shook her head.
Something was _very_ wrong here, and
obviously the adults were too blind to
realize it.  It seemed a few calls were in
order.  After lunch, of course.


     Ranma very calmly stepped into the
bathroom and closed the door behind him.  He
leaned back heavily.  A deep sigh escaped his
lips.  Something akin to a shudder traversed
his body, tremulous hollow wave starting deep
within and traveling to his extremities.  One
weary hand passed across his squeezed-shut
eyes; he took a deep breath and forced
himself to relax.  He held the position for
what felt a long time.
     Was it worth it?  He recalled Akane's
question.  Slowly, reluctantly, he opened his
eyes, let the towel fall away, glanced at
himself, at the clothes he was wearing.  Had
it been worth it?
     No.
     And yet, deeper within, beyond the
frightening painful emptiness centered in the
pit of his stomach, there was an insidious
sense that, maybe, possibly, it _had_ been
worth it.  So Akane was mad, whispered a
voice, so what, she's always mad.  But now --
now he was popular, he had friends at school,
things would be different at Furinkan, he
wouldn't be . . . be alone, anymore.
Besides, the fight between him and Akane was
not _his_ fault, it was _hers_, that uncute.
. . .
     "No. . . ," he hissed, voice escaping
through clenched.  No.  He shouldn't . . . he
couldn't fall back on that, on old insults
and easy excuses.  This was serious.
Passing by Akane, he had searched her face,
her eyes, seeking the slightest glimmer of
forgiveness.  In vain.  Only coldness and
hard indifference had reflected his pleading,
anxious look.  And he realized that, up until
then, he had still been hoping -- no,
expecting! -- her to let him off the hook.
     But it was not going to happen.
     With sudden alacrity he pushed away from
the door, reached behind and unhooked the
bikini top; with a quick wiggle and kick he
tore off the bottom.  He scooped up both and
dumped them in the bathroom anteroom's
hamper.  There.  For what it was worth . . .
the bathing suit was gone.  A meaningless
act, perhaps . . . but a start nonetheless.
It left him feeling slightly better.
     Actually, he realized, he felt a _lot_
better.  Akane's too-small top had been
constricting his breasts for, what, over
twelve hours now?  It felt good to let his
chest loose.  But then he looked down at his
ample bosom, the soft, full flesh that made
him something other than what he truly was,
and grew angry.  It should not feel 'nice' to
let his chest loose, he should never have had
to bind it up in the first place!  One fist
convulsed in anger.  Damn curse!  Stupid,
stupid, impossible curse!  He glanced through
the sliding door, into the bathroom and at
the furo itself; light wisps of steam curled
up from the ready and waiting bath.  Good.
Mother or not, he _would_ return to maleness,
even if only for a few minutes.  He was a man
-- and he needed to feel like one again.
     Decision made, he stalked over to the
bath, not even bothering to slide the door
shut behind him.  His towel lay in a crumpled
heap in the middle of the anteroom.  It was
inconsiderate for him to climb into the bath
like this, still dirty, unclean, without
scrubbing; he did not care.  He wanted his
height, his weight, his manhood back.  He
lifted one leg up and over. . . .
     "Oh, Ranko dear. . . ."
     With sudden uncanny speed and skill, he
brought his leg down and pushed off the
ceramic edge of the bath; he caught himself
easily as he fell back, hand-springing off
the slick floor, twisting in midair; before
his mother could even complete her cursory
knock, he landed on the little stool in the
anteroom and flipped up his bucket of bathing
products with one foot.  The door
opened and in stepped his mother.
     "Ranko . . . Ranko?  You haven't even
started bathing yet?" she asked, surprised.
     "Oh, ah . . . not yet, Auntie Saotome!"
he answered, forcing a girlish giggle.  "I
guess I still felt a little tired, and. . .
."
     "Are you feeling okay, dear?" she asked,
stepping into the room and softly closing the
door behind her.  "You look a bit flushed.
Maybe I should not have forced you up so
quickly. . . ."
     Ranma shook his head.  "Oh, it's ok,
Mrs. Saotome!  I'll be fine!"
     "Are you sure?"  After laying a bundle
of clothing on the counter, she knelt down
next to Ranma and brought one hand up to his
forehead.  "I can take my bath with you, if
you like, wash your back for you. . . ."
     "No!" exclaimed Ranma, and then again,
somewhat less excitedly, "No.  I'll be fine,
really."  He stood up and smiled.  "See, I
feel. . . ."  Then, realizing he was
completely naked, he blushed furiously,
snagged his towel from the floor, and wrapped
it around his female body.  "Ah . . . sorry
'bout that."
     His mother smiled, but cast a careful
eye over her 'daughter'.  "Are you sure you
feel fine?"  When he nodded, she relaxed and
turned back to the door.  "Well, okay then.
Just remember that your soup is getting cold.
Don't take too long, Ranko!"
     "I won't, Auntie!" he answered.
     "Oh, and I left some clothes for you,
for after you clean up," she said as she
closed the door behind her.  One hand pointed
vaguely toward the counter where she had
deposited the bundle, then withdrew.  The
door clicked shut.
     Ranma watched after her for a moment,
then sank back onto the stool with a relieved
sigh.  Close -- too close.  He glanced over
at the bath again and decided that, maybe, he
_could_ accept being female for just a little
longer.  He released a dry chuckle.  To
think, he thought, that I actually believed I
could have a little _privacy_ in my own
bathroom!  As if.
     Except, of course, it was not his
bathroom, nor his house.  It was the Tendo's,
and at any time, they had every right to
interrupt him, intrude on a private moment --
or throw him out.  Had they not done so a
number of times in the past?  He was a guest
here, he had very few possessions to call his
own, and his residence was a perpetual debt
hovering over his head.  Of course, now,
after what he had done last night. . . .
Ranma shivered.  Shaking his head, he trudged
over to the taps and filled a bucket with
cold water.  He then settled down on his
stool and started to lather up.  Goosebumps
rose as the chilling washcloth passed across
arms, stomach, chest.
     He continued to wash absently as his
mind wandered.  What was he going to do?
Strangely enough, it seemed as if Akane had
not yet told his or her father about what had
happened last night.  Hangover
notwithstanding, Pop and Mr. Tendo would most
certainly have been banging on his door the
moment they found out that Akane had called
off the engagement.  In the brief time he had
seen Nabiki before stepping into the
bathroom, she had not seemed aware of what
had gone on, either.  So obviously Akane had
only told part of the story -- the parts
where he drank himself silly and had a good
time.  Was that a good thing?  Did that mean
that, perhaps, there was a possibility of
somehow, with time, of working this through?
     If only he knew where to start.
     An involuntary gasp and sudden start
snapped him out of his revery, as he
unconsciously passed the icy cloth a little
close to his lower regions.  Sighing, he
turned his attention back to his scrubbing.
At the rate he was going, he would never be
done.  Although, added Ranma somewhat
bleakly, why hurry?  Things were only going
to be worse out there.
     Ranma returned to his task . . . and his
stomach, after a quick glance down, sank even
further.   "Ah . . . aw _shit_!" he groaned,
and winced.  There, on his inner thigh, was a
speckling of brownish red.  Blood.  He looked
closer: more staining, nearer his female
genitals.  It could only mean one thing: his
period.  And it looked heavier than normal,
too.  "Great, just . . . just great," he
grumbled.   It must have started during the
night or something, he reasoned.  Still,
wasn't it a bit early?  He tried remembering
the last time it had hit -- whether he had
avoided it by remaining male -- tried
counting the days -- lost track and gave up
with a scowl.  Whatever.  He was a guy,
dammit, and all that crap was a girl's
problem!  With unnecessary vigor he attacked
the dried spots.
     Just what he needed.  On top of
everything else -- his hangover, his mom,
Akane -- did he have to deal with this, too?
Could this day get any worse?
     And as he doused himself with the rest
of the bucket of water, and shivered
violently under the sudden cold, he
remembered the bundle of clothing his mother
had carried in.  Undoubtably feminine
clothing -- with frills and pink and bows and
stuff like that.  Silly him.  Of _course_
things can worse, he groused, standing up and
reaching for his towel.  Now all I need is
for Ryoga to show up and attack me. . . .


     Spin and rise. Momentary flash in the
sunlight as it reached it apex. Momentary
hang, then downwards tumble.  Unconscious
swift movement and the bottlecap was snatched
out of the air.  Replaced in the nook formed
between thumb and index finger, and snapped
back up.
     Ryoga steadfastly walked through
unfamiliar Nerimean backstreets, flipping a
slightly crumpled cap every few steps.  He
was not in a good mood.  He was not having a
good day.  But he nevertheless grinned evilly
at the thought of making Ranma's day a whole
lot worse.


     After quickly finishing off her soup in
silence, Akane returned to her room..  There,
away from everyone, from her sisters, her
dad, Ranma's parents -- away from _Ranma_,
that insufferable, unforgivable, insulting
_jerk_ -- she could release her anger.  It
was a slow, silent, controlled release; for
several minutes after closing her door and
sitting on the edge of her bed, all she could
do was tremble, whole body taut, hot tears
threatening to slip free, hands twisted in
the folds of her bedsheets, fabric clutched
violently.  Finally, after an indeterminable
time, her breathing slowed, the shaking
eased, muscles relaxed.  She took in a deep
breath; she released it; she blinked away the
wetness in her eyes and stood up.
     She walked in a tight circle in the
middle of her room.  I need to get out of
here, she realized.  It doesn't matter where.
I just have to leave.  I can't stand to be in
the same house as him.  I hate him.  I hate
him I hate him I hate him!
     "It hurts, Akane.  It hurts. . . ."
Soft, almost whimpering remembered voice,
slicing through the haze of anger gripping
her mind.  Her stomach twisted in a harsh,
sickening knot.  "S'not your fault,"
whispered the phantom voice.  Akane's angry
steps stopped; the earlier shaking returned.
She glanced down at her trembling arms, and
hugged herself.  If you're so angry at him,
she unwillingly asked herself, then why are
you so worried about him?
     I'm not worried, she insisted.
     "Akane. . . ."
     Ranma can take care of himself.
     Nothing  ever happens to Ranma  that  he
can't handle.
     "It hurts. . . ."
     He doesn't deserve my concern.
     He's an insensitive, mean, cruel jerk!
     "Akane. . . ."
     "I   have  to  get  out  of  here!"  she
screamed,  threatening tears  of  frustration
suspended in her eyes.  Without another word,
hesitation,  she grabbed a light sweater  and
stormed  out  of her room.  Her door  slammed
behind her, the duck sign banging woodenly in
response.  A moment later the front  door  to
the Tendo Residence slammed as well.


     As  Ranma walked along the edge  of  the
canal, he found himself wishing that he could
be  anywhere else -- practicing in the  dojo,
killing  time  at  Ucchan's,  fighting   with
Mousse -- than with his mother; but the  very
recognition  that he could think such  things
about her left him feeling guilty and vaguely
ill, and so he drew closer to her.
     "Are you okay, Ranko?"
     "Yes, Auntie Saotome," he answered.
     It  was a lie, of course, but she seemed
to  accept  it.  They continued walking,  his
mother  gazing  as if in silent contemplation
out  over the slowly moving water.   The  sun
was  starting  to  lie low  on  the  horizon,
having  already  begun its nocturnal  decent;
the  first streamers of red and orange  crept
across the sky, and the mirror of their color
rippled quietly below.  A pleasantly warm mid-
July  wind tickled their skin.  Ranma  sighed
softly.
     I  oughta  be happy to be able to  spend
some  time  with my mom, he thought morosely.
He  tugged at the high collar of the dress he
was   wearing,  squirmed  slightly   in   its
constraining  bodice.  But he wasn't.   Other
concerns  -- the party, the fight,  Akane  --
weighed  heavily  upon  his  mind,  and   the
wonderful  sight  of the setting  sun,  which
drew  a  pleased exclamation of delight  from
his  mother, was entirely lost upon him.   He
appreciated  his mother's offer  for  a  late
afternoon  stroll; she was right,  the  fresh
air  _was_  doing  him some  good.   But  the
inevitable  nervousness that came with  being
around   her,   and   the  impossibility   of
forgetting the problems awaiting for him when
he  returned home -- to the Tendo's home,  he
amended  --  made it impossible  for  him  to
gleam   any   enjoyment  out  of  the   walk.
Problems;  Akane.  His steps slowed.   Images
of  Akane's face rose before him: glaring  at
him  in  contempt as he asked to  borrow  her
bikini;   the  widening  of  the  eyes,   the
profound shock and hurt and look of betrayal,
as  he  applied  pressure to her  wrist;  the
violent,  unthinking rage as  she  turned  on
him,  struck  him, ended the engagement;  the
cold, emotionless gaze as he passed her today
on  the way to the bathroom.  And then --  as
he  first  recalled truly seeing  her:  half-
leaning   over  his  shoulder,  long  tresses
framing   relaxed,   happily-smiling    face,
extending an offer of friendship -- `you want
to be friends?'  It was too much: the tension
between  where  they had started,  and  where
they  now  were,  was too  great;  a  vacuous
unpleasant  sensation, a discordant  echo  of
feelings  admitted  to  and  forgotten   last
night,  arose  and twisted his stomach.   His
steps  faltered  and  he leaned  against  the
railing,  one  hand  viciously  gripping  the
pitted  metal.   Eyes squeezed  shut  against
imminent tears.
     "Ranko?"   Tender arms reached for  him,
offered a comforting embrace.
     Ranma  shook his head once.  He  took  a
deep breath.  He blinked, and stepped away.
     Nodoka  looked momentarily hurt.  "Ranko
. . . please dear, what is wrong?"
     Looking up at her, up at his mother,  at
her  concerned  look,  sympathetic  eyes,  he
realized  that he needed to talk  to  someone
about  his problems; he realized that, maybe,
the   one  person  he  _could_  talk  to  was
standing  next to him, offering support,  and
was  more  than willing to listen.  He  would
have to be careful, of course, but the sudden
possibility of an understanding ear  overrode
his worries.
     "I.  .  .  ," he started, then faltered.
He  swallowed.   "I need your advice,  Auntie
Saotome.   I  may have done something  really
stupid last night.  At the party."
     His  mother  looked down at  him  for  a
moment,  understanding dawning in  her  eyes.
"Ah.  This is about you and Akane, isn't  it,
Ranko?"
     Ranma blinked in surprise.  "How did you
know?"
     Nodoka smiled.  "A mother notices  these
things -- even one who hasn't seen her son in
ten   years."   Ranma  smiled  wanly  as  she
continued.   "But it was pretty obvious  that
Akane was angry today -- angry at my son, and
angry  at you.  You girls normally get  along
so  nicely!   But not today."  She  hesitated
momentarily.  "Would you like to  talk  about
it?"
     Ranma  nodded.   "But not  here,  Auntie
Saotome," he said, and took her by the  hand.
"There's  a park near here; we can  sit  down
and talk.  Would that be okay?"
     Nodoka agreed, and the two -- mother and
son, hand in hand -- resumed their walk.  But
with  each step Ranma found it more and  more
difficult  to  remain silent.   Now  that  an
outlet  had  been  offered, he  discovered  a
burgeoning need to use it arising within.  He
doubted  his mother could give him  any  easy
solutions, but just having someone listen  to
_his_  side  of  the story for  once  was  an
opportunity he could not ignore.  So  it  was
that,  even before they arrived at  the  park
and  with  very little preamble, Ranma  found
himself  opening up concerning the  party  of
the night before.
     "I guess it starts with, ah, me, joining
Ranma  and Akane on their way to the  party."
It  felt weird, talking about himself in  the
third  person,  having to describe  an  event
from  a  different and nonexistent viewpoint.
"Ranma  and  Akane  were  fighting.   Again."
He sighed, glanced up at his mother.  She was
looking  ahead, eyes attentive.   She  nodded
for Ranma to continue.
     "Akane didn't want Ranma coming along to
the  party,  hanging around her or something.
I   dunno  why.  .  .  ."   He  paused,  then
hesitantly   continued   after   a   moment's
thought.  "Maybe . . . maybe she wanted to be
alone.   With her friends.  Or . . . or  just
wanted  a  night to herself,  without  me  --
without Ranma -- around.  I dunno."  He shook
his  head  and shrugged.  "I don't.   Anyway,
when  they got to the party, Akane  went  her
way and Ranma went his."
     "And you?" interjected his mother.
     "Oh.  I, er, I went with Ranma."
     "Did    he    seem   .   .   .    angry?
Disappointed?"
     "Ranma seemed. . . ."  He wavered.   How
had  he  felt?  He didn't know --  he  wasn't
used  to,  didn't  like  talking  about,  his
emotions.   Ranma thought back to early  last
evening, walking towards Kiyoshi's house with
Akane.   When she had asked him to leave  her
alone  at the party, to not hang around  with
her,  he  had felt . . . insulted.  Insulted,
and  . . . nervous?  But he had replied  with
insults  of  his own.  By the time  they  had
arrived  at  Kiyoshi's, they were  no  longer
speaking, and their separation at that  point
had come as something of a relief.
     "Ranko?"
     "Oh,  sorry  Auntie.  I . .  .  I  guess
Ranma   seemed  mostly  angry."    And   yes,
disappointed, he realized.  He frowned.   Why
should  he  have  cared whether  that  uncute
tomboy  wanted him around or  not?   Only  he
realized  that her rejection _had_ hurt,  and
in  the aftermath of that unexpected pain had
been  a lingering . . . fear.  Eyes widening,
he wondered at his own reaction.
     "Was that all?"
     He  snapped  back  to the  present.   "I
guess so.  Ranma doesn't talk much about  how
he  feels.   He doesn't like to  whine  --  I
think he considers it's unmanly."
     Nodoka nodded, a hint of a smile on  her
                                        face.
     "So  we wandered around the place a bit,
until  we bumped into some school buddies  of
his.   We  joined up with them, and then  sat
and  hung around a campfire for a while.  And
talked, pretty much."
     "Really?  About what?" asked his mother.
     "Oh, mostly about girls and all that  --
you know, guy stuff."
     Nodoka raised an eyebrow.  "Ranko!   And
you stayed and listened?"
     Ranma  had  the  good  sense  to  blush.
"Well -- it's like I said, Mrs. Saotome, most
of them think of me as `one of the guys'.  It
wasn't  a  big deal or nothin', and I  didn't
mind.   It was fun, kinda."  The irony of  it
suddenly struck him: for while his words were
true,  he  realized that a good part  of  the
previous   night's  conversation   had   also
concerned  `girl's stuff'  --  that  is,  his
problems  and  experiences  with  his  cursed
form.   Somehow, he doubted his mother  would
like to hear that he had discussed his period
with a bunch of boys.
     His  mother's brow creased with a slight
frown.   "I  see we will have to  talk  about
this  at  another  time, my  dear.   But  I'm
guessing  it  is  here that  you  started  to
drink?"
     Ranma  gave a careful nod.  "Errr, yeah.
Well,  not quite yet -- I didn't start  until
later."
     "And did my son drink?"
     He  actually considered this for several
long  moments before answering.  Technically,
he  hadn't.   Ranko had drank  --  had  drank
quite  a  bit, in fact; but _Ranma_ had  left
the  party via a splash of Ryuta's  drink  by
then, and never actually touched a drop.  Nor
ever  would, he vowed.  But at this  time  he
refused to deny that he had drank last  night
--  to do so would be too close to lying, and
he  did enough of that with his mother as  it
was.   "Yeah.   Yeah,  he  drank  too."    He
briefly  wondered  why he felt  reluctant  to
tell  his  mother that her son  had  consumed
alcohol.
     She  nodded,  seeming unperturbed.   "So
what happened next?"
     "Well," continued Ranma, "this guy, this
real asshole. . . ."
     "Ranko!  Language!"
     "Sorry.   This . . . jerk," he  amended,
"called Ryuta Uehara came over and started to
bully  some of Ranma's friends.  Ranma didn't
put  up  with it -- he hates bullies --  and,
ah,  convinced the guy to leave.  But the guy
didn't  clue in: Ryuta came back,  drunk  and
mean  and  tried to pick a fight with  Ranma.
Your  .  . . your son tried ignoring  him  at
first,  but  then  that .  .  .  that  _jerk_
started   getting   personal.    He   started
insulting  Ranma's manhood, called  him  weak
and  womanly  and  insinuated  .  .  .  other
stuff."
     "Other stuff?"
     "He.  .  .  ."   How to put this,  Ranma
wondered.   He  treaded  forward  delicately,
carefully  choosing  his  words.   "He,   ah,
insulted me as well -- insinuated that I  had
. . . you know. . . ."
     Nodoka  looked  down,  frowning.   "This
boy. . . ."
     "He said that I'd kissed guys; said that
I'd  .  .  . had sex with. . . ."  He flushed
with remembered anger, one hand clenching  at
his side.
     "I   see,"  said  his  mother,  and   an
undercurrent  of  anger darkened  her  voice.
"And then?"
     "And  then.  . . .  Well, he pushed  and
pushed  until Ranma simply couldn't  take  it
anymore.  But you see, Ranma didn't  want  to
fight  --  couldn't fight!  He  had  promised
Akane  at the beginning of the party that  he
wouldn't  ruin her night, wouldn't  get  into
any  fights  or  anything.  But  he  couldn't
ignore the insults to his masculinity!  Stuck
between his honor and his promise, he finally
just  . . . just snapped."  Ranma took a deep
breath.  He realized that his voice was loud;
he  was trembling slightly.  He looked up  at
his mother.
     "What  did he do?" she asked in  a  soft
voice.
     "He grabbed Ryuta and beat him up.  Beat
him up bad," he answered in a subdued tone.
     Nodoka stopped walking and turned to her
protege.   She  gently lay her hands  on  the
smaller  girl's shoulders.  "Do you think  my
son did the right thing?"
     And  Ranma desperately wanted to  answer
`yes', wanted to justify his own actions; but
he  knew  he  couldn't, he needed an  honest,
unbiased judgement, and so he refrained  from
giving  the  easy response.  "I  don't  know,
Auntie!   He -- he promised that he  wouldn't
fight; but then, the things Ryuta said  --  I
don't see how he could _not_ have!"
     "The things this boy said were mean?"
     "Mean  and cruel and . . . and  untrue!"
he answered fiercely.
     "They slandered my son's manliness?"
     He nodded emphatically.
     "And  my  son  hurt this  boy?   He  was
brutal?"
     Ranma gave a slow nod.
     "Good,"  said  Nodoka  with  an  air  of
finality.  Her eyes shone with a hard  light.
She  resumed  walking.  "No  one  insults  my
son's  manliness."  Ranma, surprised,  caught
up  after a few steps.  He wondered  at  this
woman who was his mother.


     Akane    hugged   herself   and    gazed
unseeingly out over the darkly flowing waters
of  the  canal.   She  stood  oblivious,  her
thoughts as aimless and twisting as the  last
hour's confused wandering.  But at least  the
urge to cry is gone, she thought.  So was her
anger.  Her concern.  She felt hollow, empty.
A  shiver passed through her, one unwarranted
by  the  warm night air.  After a time devoid
of thought or meaning, her knees folded below
her; she sank down, hands slipping along  the
smooth bars of the fence, then holding her up
as  she  crouched, leaning back  but  hunched
over,  still  looking sightlessly   outwards.
She noticed a muddy spattering in the dirt by
her  feet.   Oh, look, she noted absently,  I
guess I was wrong.  I'm crying.  Strange,  to
shed tears and yet feel nothing.
     But  no, not nothing, for as she  became
aware of her tears, she felt the pain well up
within.   No, she mouthed, no, not here,  not
now.  Not yet.  I. . . .
     "Akane?"
     Hearing  a  voice  call  out  her   name
startled  her.  She blinked, rubbed the  back
of  one  hand across her eyes.  For a  moment
she  felt  surprised to be squatting  by  the
river, unsure of the exact path that had  led
her here.
     "Akane?" repeated the voice, behind  her
and closer.
     She  stood,  legs  protesting  from  the
sudden action, creaking and tingly.  For  how
long  had  she held that unthinking position?
No  longer a focus, inner pain faded; a  dull
expansive  greyness took  its  place.   Akane
turned away from the water.
     It  was  Sayuri approaching her, and  as
she neared and caught a good glimpse of Akane
her  expression changed from one of  greeting
to  one of concern.  "Akane -- Akane, are you
alright?"
     The youngest Tendo tried forcing a smile
to her lips.  "Hi Sayuri!  Of course I'm okay
--  really!  --  why  wouldn't  I  be?"   She
blinked rapidly to clear her eyes.
     Sayuri stepped nearer.  For several long
moments   she  gazed  at  Akane  searchingly,
before  frowning and shaking her  head.   "No
way, Akane.  Something's wrong."
     "No, really. . . !"
     "Sorry,"    interrupted   her    friend,
grabbing  her  hand.  "But I don't  buy  it."
She  proceeded  to pull Akane away  from  the
fence.   "C'mon, follow me.  I think we  need
to talk."
     "But. . . !"
     "No  `buts', Akane!" insisted the  long-
haired   girl.    "There's  a  great   little
kissaten  near here.  I'll buy you a  coffee,
and you can tell me all about it.  It's about
Ranma, right?"
     "Well. . . ."
     "I  thought so," said Sayuri decisively,
and  led  the  way.   Bemused,  and  grateful
despite   herself,  Akane  followed   without
another  word.   Maybe this is  just  what  I
need,   she  thought.   Maybe  I  just   need
somebody to talk to.


     "One  moment, dear," interjected Nodoka,
interrupting Ranko's narrative.  "Why did  my
son not want to go swimming with the rest  of
his friends?  Did he say?"
     It took a few moments for the young girl
to  answer,  and she seemed very hesitant  in
her  choice of words.  Something was  nagging
at   the  Saotome  matriarch:  there  was   a
strangeness  or oddity to the Tendo  cousin's
story that Nodoka couldn't quite put a finger
on.   Something  in the way  Ranko  stammered
before  every response; something in the  way
the   girl   carefully   contemplated   every
question  before uttering a word.   But  why?
Could she be protecting Ranma from something?
Or  was  she simply embarrassed by  retelling
the previous night's activities?
     "Well," said Ranko, "I guess -- I . .  .
I'm  not  sure.   I'd like to  think  it  was
because he was worried and wanted to check in
on Akane . . . but . . . but in all honestly,
I  don't  think that was it."  She swallowed;
Nodoka wondered if it was out of nervousness.
"Part of it was simply because he didn't have
any  swimming  trunks with him --  he  hadn't
planned  on  swimming.  But  it's  more  than
that,  I think."  Again she paused, thinking,
and  stared  off  across  the  park.   Nodoka
wondered   what   she  could   see   in   the
encroaching  darkness.  When Ranko  continued
her  voice seemed distant.  "I think . . .  I
think  he  was  nervous.  Maybe even  scared.
Not  very manly, I realize," and she  glanced
up at the older woman, "but -- there it is."
     "Scared?"
     "Yeah, scared."  Ranko gave a vague nod.
"Because. . . ."  Her voice trailed off,  and
her face twisted in frustration.  "Because --
I  don't know!  I don't know.  He just . .  .
he  can't . . . he doesn't know how to . .  .
relate  .  .  . say what he wants  to!"   The
pigtailed  redhead took a deep  breath.   "He
doesn't fit in.  He doesn't have any friends.
And  throw him into a situation like that  --
something social, something _fun_ -- and he's
.  .  . scared.  He doesn't know what to do."
Almost  as  if expressing herself had  proven
exhausting,  she  slumped forward  with  head
hanging low.  "There."
     Nodoka  looked  down at the  young  girl
with  some  surprise.  That Ranma was  having
trouble  fitting in was concern  enough;  but
that   Ranko   took  it  so   seriously,   so
personally, was further matter of importance.
Earlier suspicions consolidated in her  mind.
An ephemeral inkling of what the relationship
between Ranko and Ranma might be formed.  "So
what did you do?" she asked.
     Ranko started.  "Err . . . me?"
     "Yes  Ranko,  you.   Ranma  decided   to
leave,  and I think I can understand some  of
the  reasons  why  he did so.   But  did  you
follow him?  Did you stay at the party?   Did
you  try and find Akane and tell her that her
fiancee  was leaving?"
     "I  .  . . followed Ranma back into  the
house."
     Of  course, thought Nodoka.  She  would,
despite -- judging by Ranko's own account  of
the party -- having a good time at the party.
"And then?"
     "And  then.  .  . ."  Ranko  gulped  and
seemed  to  shrink  in  upon  herself.    She
lowered  her eyes to the well-scuffed  ground
at her feet.
     "Then?"
     "Then . . . Ranma met Akane."


     "And  then  you  met  Ranma,"  confirmed
Sayuri.
     Akane  nodded.  She took a  sip  of  her
coffee,  and felt strangely ambivalent  about
continuing the conversation.  She appreciated
her  friend's effort to cheer her up, to help
her work through the current dilemma; yet, at
the  same  time, there was a . . . resistance
within,  an  urge to not dig  too  deep  into
submerged  emotions.  I need  to  talk  about
this, Akane realized, let my feelings out  --
but what else might I find?
     "And  then.  .  .  ," prodded  the  girl
siting opposite her.
     "What do you think?  We fought.  Like we
always do."  Akane scowled.
     "Not like you always do . . . definitely
_not_  like you always do, Akane.  I've  seen
you  two fight before; I've _never_ seen  you
break off the engagement!"  Sayuri leaned  in
a  little closer, eyes fixated eagerly on the
youngest  Tendo.  "I heard -- well,  I  heard
lots  of  things, about what happened,  about
why  it  happened.  Enough to get me worried.
What  happened, Akane?  I'd like you to  tell
me. . . ."
     Akane  stared at her friend,  uncertain.
She  turned  away, looked  outside.   It  was
dark,  streetlights dropping small  pools  of
paleness    through   which   she    glimpsed
intermittent   snapshots  of  passing   life.
There,  two  young girls, walking,  laughing,
probably  friends; but as  they  entered  the
next  circle of light one was frowning,  lips
pressed   tightly  together,  as  the   other
continued   laughing,   oblivious   to    her
companion's   anger.    Then   Akane's   eyes
shifted,  and  she  was  no  longer   looking
through  the  glass, but  at  it,  the  dark,
herself  reflected.  With a sigh  she  turned
back  to  her  schoolmate and, still  feeling
oddly  detached  from her  own  words,  began
explaining.
     "Well . . . after you and Yuka and Keiko
and  everyone else took off to join the  guys
at  the  pool, I went downstairs to  grab  my
stuff,  right?"  Mouth dry, she took  another
drink.  "Well, that's where I met Ranma.   We
bumped into each other.  He was getting ready
to  leave.  We talked a bit, and . . .  well,
he was being weird."
     "Weird?  How?"
     Akane  shrugged.  "Nice, weird.   Almost
flirting,  weird."   Seeing  Sayuri's  raised
eyebrow, she hastened to add, "He was  drunk,
of  course.  The stupid jerk."  There  was  a
momentary  sadness within, the first  emotion
she recalled feeling in some time.  Why . . .
why did he have to be drunk, or under magical
influence, or think he was a cat, to act half-
way human around her?  And why did it have to
be  such  an  infrequent  occasion  that  she
viewed any such extension of genuine kindness
towards   her   from  him   with   suspicion?
"Anyway.   So we grabbed our stuff.   But  we
didn't  leave.   Just as I  thought  we  were
going  to, Ranma stopped and asked me  if  he
could   borrow  my  bikini."    She   paused,
slightly puzzled.  Strange.  Last night,  the
idea  of  that pervert borrowing her  bathing
suit  had  enraged  her; now,  aside  from  a
slight   residual  embarrassment,  she   felt
nothing.
     Sayuri nodded.  "Yeah, that's right.   I
wanted  to  ask you about that.   I  saw  her
wearing  it  at  the pool.   That  bitch  was
flaunting  it  off  like  it  was   hers   or
something."  Scowling, she spat out a  single
word, "Pervert!" as if it fully summed up her
feelings.  It probably did.
     For  a  moment Akane felt an  irrational
irritation at her friend insulting her former
fiance,  but  quickly reminded  herself  that
Sayuri's  assessment was true.   He  _was_  a
pervert and, though she had never thought  to
apply  it to him, did not the other word  fit
as well?
     "So  then . . . why did you lend  it  to
her?"
     Akane's countenance darkened.  "I didn't
lend  it to him at all, Sayuri.  He must have
picked it up after we fought.  After I  left.
After. . . ."  Knuckles whitened on her  mug.
"I  can't  believe . . . I can't  believe  he
actually went _swimming_ after we broke  up!"
Another emotion joined her repertoire for the
evening: anger.  "That . . . that insensitive
jerk!"   She  fixated her  glare  on  Sayuri.
"Were you there?  What did that baka do?"
     Smirking  slightly, Sayuri  leaned  back
into  her  seat.  "Are you sure you  want  to
know?"   She  gestured at  Akane's  claw-like
grip  of  the  coffee mug.   "You're  looking
pretty tense as is . . . and I'm afraid  this
isn't going to make you any happier. . . ."
     For  a moment -- briefly, an instant  of
doubt  -- she hesitated: did she really  want
to  know?   Her anger with Ranma was  already
complete; what would it avail her to  despise
him  more?   And yet . . . she had  to  know,
_had_  to know, what had happened during  the
previous night.
     She  gave  a  slight nod for  Sayuri  to
continue,  and  listened attentively  as  her
friend  ran through  the events of the  party
after  Akane's  departure.  Sayuri  certainly
seemed to enjoy the telling, and left out  no
detail.  The narrative was quite damning, and
Akane  found  a  whole sequence  of  emotions
passing  through  her; or  at  the  least,  a
single   emotion  building  and  intensifying
within.    Ranma,  happily  swimming;   Ranma
hanging around with the guys; Ranma, flirting
with  the  girls; Ranma drinking and partying
and  playing and having a _great_ time, while
_she_ wandered, crying, through Nerima.   How
could  he?  And she was _worried_ about  him?
That . . . that. . . .
     ".  .  .  saw her one last time," Sayuri
was  saying,  "as she headed  back  into  the
house  to use the bathroom.  You should  have
seen  her  --  she was seriously  messed  up.
Drunk,  big  time.  To hear  her  talk!   She
said.  . . ."  Sayuri hesitated for a moment.
"Well, what she said isn't important  .  .  .
but  she  had  trouble getting  it  out,  and
Hiroshi  and  I could barely understand  her,
her speech was so slurred.  That's the last I
saw  of her that night.  Drunker than I think
I've  ever seen anyone before.  It's a wonder
she hadn't already passed out!"
     The  feverish  pounding  within  drained
with  such speed and suddenness that she felt
cold  and empty in comparison.  She shivered.
Well,  she  thought.  Well.   That  certainly
explains  the state I found him  in,  doesn't
it.   The  idiot  got himself  drunk  --  got
himself  drunk _fast_.  I wonder why  he  did
it. . . ?
     "Akane!"
     She slowly returned her attention to her
friend,  who  was looking at  her  with  some
concern.  It took a moment to understand why.
Akane  turned her attention to her  hand,  to
the remnants of the mug still clutched in her
grasp, the jagged ceramic edges cutting  into
her  palm,  the warm liquid spattered  across
her  forearm and dripping onto the table.   A
moment  of incomprehension, then she   opened
her  hand.  Broken fragments clattered to the
floor.  She blinked.  "Oh.  Oh my.  I .  .  .
I'm sorry."
     "Are  you alright?"  Sayuri rushed  over
to  Akane's  side of the table,  grabbed  her
unresisting  hand  to check  it  for  injury.
Akane  barely noticed.  With her anger  gone,
but  her  mind  reawakened from  its  earlier
apathy or denial by the emotion's passage,  a
host  of questions and concerns were suddenly
assailing her.  She needed to think.
     "You're  lucky.  You didn't get cut,  or
burnt."  Sayuri's words tumbled out.  "You --
are you even listening to me?  Akane?"
     "I  .  .  .  I need a moment  to  think,
Sayuri," she answered.  She glanced  down  at
her  hand  and  absently shook  some  of  the
coffee off.  "Something just occurred to me."
     Sayuri   held  her  friend's  gaze   for
several long moments, before nodding.   "I'll
.  .  .  I'll get a cloth, tell the  waitress
what  happened, and, uh, go to the  washroom,
okay?  I'll be back soon, and then maybe  you
can   .  .  .  ah,  finish  telling  me  what
happened?"   She  got no response.   Frowning
slightly, she walked off.  Akane hardly  took
note of her departure.
     
     
     On  a  bench  in a park sat  two  women,
illuminated palely by the light behind  them.
They  sat in silence.  To a passing observer,
the  similarity of look and dress between the
two  made them appear as mother and daughter:
and  if  so,  the  younger redhead  had  done
something   to  terribly  anger   her   older
companion,  for the taller woman was  staring
sternly  into the darkness, mouth  set  in  a
thin, hard line, while the girl kept her eyes
locked  despondently on the ground, one  foot
digging nervously at the dirt.
     The  mother was the first to speak.  She
did  so  without turning her  head,  and  her
daughter  started at the sudden vocalization.
"So Akane left the party, alone."  It was not
a question.
     The younger girl nodded numbly.
     "And my son did not follow her."
     The  daughter  shook  her  head  without
looking up.
     "Nor did you."
     Again a slow nod.
     "Instead you both chose to remain at the
party and enjoy yourselves."
     For a moment the younger girl seemed  to
hesitate, perhaps considering a protest,  but
then mouthed a barely audible, "yes."
     "I see.  Furthermore, as a result of the
quarrel  between my son and your  cousin,  my
future    daughter-in-law,   the   engagement
between the two -- an engagement decided upon
by   both   their   parents   sixteen   years
previously -- has been terminated."
     "Ye -- yes."
     "And, in the aftermath of this disaster,
instead of remaining to face his dilemma head
on like a man, my son has chosen to run off?"
This  time  it was a question, and the  older
woman  turned  her eyes, stern and  seemingly
flashing  with barely suppressed  fury,  upon
the  young  girl.  The pigtailed redhead  met
her  gaze for a brief moment before flinching
away, crimson-faced.
     "He -- he left, yes, but, but. . . ."
     "But what?" interrupted the older woman,
and  for  a  moment her restrained anger  was
clear,  her voice lashing out at the cringing
girl.   "Eh, Ranko?  What?  What could excuse
my  son's dishonorable actions?"  With sudden
vigor  she leapt to her feet, began  stalking
back  and forth before the park bench.  "That
he  drank, I can accept.  Men drink, often to
excess. That he ignored Akane all night,  and
chose  to  remain with his male  friends,  I,
too, can understand.  Genma has oft done  the
same  to  me,  and I see nothing  unusual  in
Ranma doing likewise.  That Ranma got into  a
fight  with  a bully, that my son  broke  his
promise  to  Akane, I not  only  accept,  but
approve  of  --  the slur  against  both  his
manliness and your honor took precedence over
his  oath  to his fiancee.  And that  my  son
argued  with  Akane, and fought with  her  --
well,  though I am certainly disappointed,  I
have  come to understand that the two do  not
always  get  along,  and  I  suppose  that  a
certain  tension  between  the  two  is   not
entirely surprising.
     "But that my son actually hurt Akane . .
. that he willingly chose to inflict physical
pain upon her to end an argument, I find both
cowardly  and weak and unforgivable,  and  by
doing so he makes me question the entirety of
the  last ten years of his training  and  the
quality of the values instilled in him by  my
husband.  What of all those training voyages?
Were they wasted?  Did my son grow up to be a
true  martial  artist, or  a  mere  bully  no
better  than the one he defeated  mere  hours
previously?"
      "No," yelled the young girl, leaping to
her  feet.  "No!"  "For a moment she  wavered
there,    trembling    slightly,    seemingly
surprised  by her own temerity.   But  before
the  older  woman could recover,  she  forged
ahead.   "It wasn't like that, mo  --  Auntie
Saotome!  I . . . he, he didn't want to  hurt
Akane,  he  never meant to, he felt,  no,  he
feels  terrible that he did so,  he'd  never,
couldn't,  do  something  like  that   again!
Ranma  Saotome doesn't hit girls!"  Her voice
sank to a whisper.  "Ranma Saotome never hits
girls."
      "Well my son," the elder Saotome ground
out, "certainly seemed to have forgotten that
last night."
      "It was -- it was the alcohol, and  the
fight, and, and. . . ."
     "And that makes it okay?"
     Ranko hung her head.  "No."
      "And  now, when the opportunity  exists
for him to offer some kind of explanation, to
make amends -- where is he?"
       "He's.   .   .  ."   Ranko   swallowed
nervously, looked away as if unable  to  meet
the  older  woman's  eyes.   "He's  gone   on
another  training  trip.   After  the  party,
after the alcohol started to wear off, and he
realized  what he had done, he  felt  .  .  .
terrible.  Guilty.  Unmanly and dishonorable.
He  felt  the only thing he could do  was  to
leave,  to  train,  that  maybe  through  his
martial  arts  he could redeem  himself.   He
left very, very early this morning."
      The  Saotome  matriarch looked  at  the
younger  girl  for several long moments,  and
then, suddenly, seemed to fall in on herself.
The  anger drained away, the fire in her eyes
dimmed, as her shoulder drooped and she  sank
down onto the park bench.  "Oh, my son --  my
son,"  she whispered.  "What has happened  to
you?"
     After a brief hesitation, Ranko sat next
to her.  "Auntie?" she asked timorously.
     "Is my son's life truly that bad?  Is he
really that unhappy?"
     Ranko blinked.  "Huh?"
       "By  your  own  account,  he  seems  a
terribly  unhappy young man: lonely, socially
insecure, desperate for friendship . . .  who
does  he  turn to in his moments of weakness?
Even a man among men must tire at times."
       Ranko  tried  swallowing  in  a  mouth
suddenly gone dry.  "I. . . ."
      "You  seem to know my son well,  Ranko.
Do  you talk to him much?  Is he really  that
unhappy?"
     "I . . . I don't. . . ."
     "Does he . . . does he miss his mother?"
     The girl gave one single quick glance up
the older woman and nodded numbly.
      "I see."  And then, "Ranko . . . Ranko,
are you crying?"
       The   young  redhead  shook  her  head
violently.  "No!  No, of course not.  It'd be
silly for me to cry, right?"
      "Ranko,  it's never silly for  a  young
girl  to cry."  She placed a comforting  hand
on her protege's shoulder.  "Right."
       The  girl's  mouth  twisted  bitterly.
"Yeah.  Of course.  For a girl."
      Silence  descended once again  as  both
leaned back into the bench, seemingly lost in
their respective thoughts.  Again, it was the
older   woman  who  first  broke  the  quiet.
"Ranko . . . do you love my son?"
     Ranko started upright.  "What?"
      Mrs.  Saotome faced her with the utmost
seriousness.   "You heard me, dear.   Do  you
love my son?  Are you attracted to him?"
      "I  . . . No!  Of course not."  Ranko's
red-faced  blush  was  obvious  even  in  the
relative  darkness.   "What'd  make  you  ask
somethin' like that?"
      The corner of the elder Saotome's mouth
twitched  slightly.   "Come  now,  Ranko,  it
would  certainly explain a lot: the  way  you
seem  to  know  him  so  well,  the  way  you
followed  him around all night at the  party,
the  way  you seem so anxious to defend  him.
You  understand him, I think,  you  obviously
respect  him,  and it seems you care  greatly
for him."
      "Well, er, yeah, sure, Ranma's a  great
guy  and  all, but . . . but, there's  Akane,
right?  She's his fiancee!"
      "And  wouldn't that simply explain  the
obvious  tension between you and your cousin?
I'm  sure  that, despite Akane's protests  to
the  contrary, she feels strongly for my son;
and if she discovered that you harbored those
very  same  feelings, would  she  not  likely
become jealous?"
      Ranko smirked.  "Akane, jealous?  Yeah,
I think I could see that happening."
     The older woman nodded.  "Especially if,
as I suspect, he confides in you more than in
her.  Is it to you that he turns in his times
of  weakness?  Does he reveal his  fears  and
doubts  to you?  He could never do so to  his
fiancee, I'm sure -- but to you, a friend,  a
confident,  might he not let his guard  down,
even  if  just briefly?  Are you his  friend,
Ranko?  His relief and comfort?"
      "I  .  .  . I never thought of it  that
way."    She  sounded  puzzled.   She  looked
herself over, as if in wonder.  "Maybe you're
right.   I -- he, he does admit stuff  throu,
er, to me, that he doesn't tell anyone else."
      "You see?  And the step from friendship
to  . . . something else, is not as great  as
some  think.  Especially when the boy is  one
as manly and handsome as, by all accounts, my
son  is."  A mother's pride had sneaked  into
her  voice, overwhelming much of her  earlier
anger.
      Again  Ranko blushed.  "Well, Ranma  is
quite  the  .  . . ."  She gave  her  head  a
shake.   "But,  no, I swear, Auntie,  there's
nothing  between us.  I'd never  get  between
Ranma  and Akane."  Her countenance darkened.
"If  there  was  ever anything  there."   She
sighed.   "And  if there was, it's  gone  for
sure, now."
      "Now,  now, dear," reassured the  older
woman,   standing   up   and   patting    her
companion's shoulder.  "As bad as things are,
there  is  always hope.  Now that  I  have  a
better idea of what happened, I think I  will
have  a  talk  with  your  cousin.   She   is
probably quite upset, and understandably  so,
but I doubt things are beyond recovery."
      "You  . . . you think so?" asked  Ranko
softly, standing as well.
     "Of course."  Mrs. Saotome took a moment
to  look  around.   Aside  for  a  few  other
individuals  taking late-night  strolls,  the
park was still and quiet.  "But it is getting
quite  late.  You have school tomorrow, dear,
so I believe it is time to be heading back."
     Ranko fell in beside the taller woman as
they headed off.
      "My  son,  of  course,  still  needs  a
serious talking to."
     "Err, yeah."
      "And  I  am far from done with you,  my
dear."
     "Ah, me?"
      "There  is  still the  matter  of  your
infatuation with my son."
     "But . . . !"
      "And your unpardonable behavior at  the
party."
     A guilty silence.
      "And  the way you treated your  cousin.
Remember,  Ranko, nothing is  more  important
than  family.  Not even a boy as manly as  my
son.   Next time your cousin needs help,  you
should be there."
      "Of . . . of course."
      "And  there's still the matter of  your
clothes. . . ."
     "Mrs. Saotome?"
      "You  still dress like a tomboy.  We'll
make a lady of you yet."
     "Auntie!"


      As  Ranma and his mother approached the
Tendo residence, now bantering back and forth
on  a  far  more  amicable level,  a  gradual
weight  seemed to grow upon him.   Each  step
seemed  increasingly wearisome and laborious.
The  time  spent with his mother had  helped,
had  provided a certain hope; but now he  had
returned to the source of his problems.   Did
Mr.  Tendo know that the engagement had  been
cancelled yet -- did he know that his son-in-
law had hurt his precious daughter?  And,  of
course, Akane was in there. . . .
      But, as they approached the front  gate
of  the household, he spotted a single figure
approaching from the opposite direction.  His
steps  faltered and his legs seized up as  he
identified   the  individual.    Akane.    He
realized he was breathing heavily.
      "It's  okay,  dear,"  said  his  mother
softly.  "Relax."
      He  noticed that his fiancee -- his ex-
fiancee,   he  reminded  himself  --   didn't
hesitate  in her approach: in fact, he  could
almost  feel her gaze sweep coldly  over  and
past  him  with  complete  indifference.   He
shivered.
        They    reached   the   front    gate
simultaneously:  him  and  his  mother,   and
Akane.   A very uncomfortable silence settled
between  the  three.   Ranma  tried  to  meet
Akane's eyes but found himself unable to: his
gaze  kept  slipping away  and  finding  some
fascinating  detail in the  road,  an  errant
pebble, the stonework of the wall.
      "Good evening, Akane," said the Saotome
matriarch.
      "Good  evening, Mrs. Saotome," answered
the youngest Tendo.
     "Did you enjoy your walk?"
     "Yes."
     "Good."
      Ranma  felt his mother nudge  him.   He
took  a hesitant step forward.  "Um, er,  hi,
Akane."
     "Ranko."
     "How are you, ah . . . ."
     "Fine."
     "Did you . . . ."
      "It's getting late, Ranko," interrupted
Akane.  "We have school tomorrow.  Don't  you
think we should be heading in?"
       Ranma  slumped  his  head  in  defeat.
"Yes."
      "Oh, come now, girls," said his mother.
"It  is  not that late, and it is a beautiful
night.  You should enjoy it!"  He glanced  up
at   his   mother,  amazed  that  she  seemed
oblivious   to  the  chilliness   Akane   was
radiating.  "Why don't you two stay out  here
a  little longer, talk, enjoy the fresh  air?
I'll go in and make you some hot cocoa."
     "Mrs. Saotome. . . ," attempted Akane.
      "Now, now, dear, don't worry.  It would
be  my pleasure.  You two have not seen  each
other  all day, so why not take the  time  to
catch  up?   I'm sure you both have  lots  to
talk  about."   The older woman turned  away,
smiling  brightly,  and slipped  through  the
household  gate.  It closed with a firm  thud
behind her.
      Silence.  They both stared at the large
wooden door before them.
      Ranma  had no idea what to say, and  so
silence reigned between them.  He thought  he
could feel Akane's baleful glare burning into
him, but kept his eyes locked steadfastly  on
the  doors.  Willing them to open didn't seem
to  be working, but he kept on trying.   What
else  could he do?  I just know, he  thought,
that  anything I say to her is just going  to
make  things worse.  Of course,  he  added  a
moment  later,  not saying anything  probably
isn't helping.
       Just   as  the  silence  was  becoming
unbearable,  Akane  spoke:  "Sometimes   that
woman  can be infuriating."  The tone of  her
voice   was   far  from  being  friendly   or
conversational.
      "Watch it," said Ranma, turning to face
her  and  speaking with surprising vehemence,
"that's my mother you're talking about."
     "Ah.  So you can talk, after all."
     He flushed.  "Yeah.  Yeah, I can talk."
      "But you don't have anything to say, do
you?"
       "I. . . ."   He  hesitated,   then
straightened  his posture.  He  bowed  before
her,  deeply, from the waist.   He  held  the
position  for  a moment before rising.   "I'm
sorry, Akane.  I really am."
      "Oh,  well, great.  I guess that  makes
everything alright, then, huh?"
     "No!  No, but. . . ."
     "But what, Ranma?"
      "I. . . ."  But what could he say.  The
apology  had  come  easily, the  stubbornness
that  so often intruded gone.  He really  was
sorry  --  but what difference did  it  make?
Nothing  he could say, or probably do,  would
convince her it was honest; and even  if  she
accepted  his  apology as genuine,  did  that
change  the reality that he had betrayed  her
last night?  "Nothing."
     "Exactly."
      He  turned away, felt her chilling gaze
continue  to bore into his back.   Damn,  but
this  was stupid.  He should just step  away,
return  to  his  room.   Talking  with  Akane
tonight wasn't going to accomplish anything.
      "So  . . . how'd you feel this morning?
Now?  Strange?"
       He  was  surprised  by  the  question:
sensing    something    other    than    cold
indifference  in  her  voice  was  almost  as
unexpected as the question itself.  "Fine . .
.  better,  I  guess.  A little  tired.   The
queasiness is gone.  The fresh air helped."
     "So how much did you drink last night?"
      Ranma  wasn't sure where she was  going
with  these  questions.  They seemed  out  of
place.   Why did she care?  He shrugged.   "I
dunno.  A lot.  Too much."  Way too much.
     "What did your mom think?"
      "About  the  party?  I  told  her  what
happened.   She's  extremely displeased  with
her  son.  She wants to have some stern words
with him."
     "Ah.  But he's not around, is he?"
      He  looked  away as he answered.   "No.
No, he's left on another training trip."
      "Ah,  I  see.   It  must've  been  hard
packing with a hangover."
     "Akane. . . ."
     "And what about `Ranko'?  Where does she
come into all of this?"
      "She,  ah,  I  .  . . I followed  Ranma
around for most of the night."
     "Convenient."
     "Er,  yeah.  She also thinks I'm in love
with  my  guy-side.   And,  ah,  that  you're
jealous of Ranko and I . . . er, Ranma and  I
.  .  . of the two of us, and that that's why
we're  not getting along."  He gave  a  short
forced   laugh;   it   sounded   sickly   and
unnatural.
     Akane  answered with a silence that  was
just  long  and  deep enough  to  signal  her
disapproval  of his attempt at  humor.   "And
what did she think of your drinking?"
      "She  wasn't happy.  She  said  it  was
dangerous, and unladylike behavior."
      Akane snorted.  "No kidding.  What  was
it that Sayuri called you?  Bitch?  Slut?"
     His face darkened.  "Akane. . . ."
      "She  told me a lot of things  tonight.
You  had  a  really good time after  I  left,
didn't you?"
      "Akane,  no  --."   A memory  surfaced:
bumping into Sayuri in the swimming pool,  an
exchange  of  words.  "Listen, Sayuri  and  I
don't get along; I don't think she likes  me.
. . ."
      "Ah.  So now you're calling my friend a
liar?"
      "No!"   Dammit, he thought.  Why  do  I
bother.  I should just shut up.
      "So  you did have a good time  after  I
left.   Enjoy swimming with the  guys?   Hey,
get any compliments on my bikini?"
     "Akane, no, listen. . . ."
      "I'm glad you had a good time.  See,  I
was  wandering  the streets,  crying..   After
all, my fiancee had just hurt me, called me a
bitch  in front of all my friends .  .  .  my
engagement was over, and. . . ."
      "Dammit, Akane, waddya want me to say!"
yelled Ranma.  "Eh?  I'm sorry?  I'll say  it
as  often as I have to!"  He advanced on her,
punctuating    his    words     with     wild
gesticulations of his arms.  "What do I  have
to  do?   Bow?  Get down on my knees?   Huh?"
He  stood  mere  feet  from  her,  his  words
echoing  through  the  street.   "What.   Do.
You.  Want?"
      Her level gaze cut straight through his
desperate  frustration.  "What are you  going
to do, Ranma?  Hit me?"
      He  flinched as if physically  slapped.
"Akane. . . ."
     No answer.
      "Can't  . . . can't we ever be  friends
again?"
      A  long,  deliberate pause.  And  then,
"What makes you think we ever were?"
      He  turned  away, all emotion  draining
away.  He felt hollow.  There was nothing for
him  here:  no hope, no chance of redemption.
He might as well make the lie to his mother a
reality: grab his father and leave on another
training  voyage -- a permanent one.   As  he
trudged  away  with heavy steps  towards  the
house, he realized that there would never now
be  a joining of the Saotome and Tendo family
lines.


      Even  before the gate doors had  closed
behind  Ranma,  Akane felt  her  self-control
slip and the tears escape.
     "Ranma," she whispered, but of course it
was  too  late, he was gone.   Not  that  she
wanted  to  forgive him -- she was still  far
too  angry with him for that.  His words  and
actions  of the previous night had stung  her
deeply; how deeply, she was just beginning to
realize.  But she had never intended to  lash
out at him the way she just had . . . not  so
callously, viciously.
      And  yet  .  . . had she  not  taken  a
certain  pleasure in seeing her barbs  strike
home,  twist  deep?  To see  him  blanch,  to
watch  the life seep from his face.  Perhaps,
now, he had an idea of how she had felt . . .
still felt, when she let her guard down.
      But  then  why, now, did  she  feel  so
terrible?
      "Akane, are you coming in?  Did you and
Ranko  .  .  .  oh, my, Akane dear,  are  you
alright?"  She heard Nodoka approach her, but
twisted out of her embrace, hiding her tears.
"Akane?"
     "I'm fine, Mrs. Saotome.  Really."
      "Akane.   Please.  I'm only  trying  to
help."
     "I . . . I know.  I just don't feel like
talking about it yet."
     "If it is about you and Ranko. . . ."
      The Tendo daughter gave a bitter laugh.
"Believe me, it has nothing to do with me  an
my `cousin'."
     "And Ranma?"
      Akane spun on the Saotome elder.   "And
it's not about your stupid son, either!"  she
screamed. "Why does everything always have to
revolve  around Ranma!  Always  Ranma!   This
isn't about him -- it's about me!"  She  took
a  deep  breath, forced her voice down  to  a
more   neutral  level.   Yelling  at  Ranma's
mother wouldn't solve anything.
     "Akane, I don't understand. . . ."
      "And  neither do I, really.  I've  been
thinking about it all night -- but there's so
many  things  swirling through my  head,  all
these thoughts and feeling and things I  just
don't  want to deal with . . . things I can't
deal with, not right now.  It's too much, too
soon.   I'm too tired."  She gave a  pleading
look  at Nodoka.  "Please.  I understand  you
want  to  help me.  Really.  But not tonight.
Help  Ranko,  if  anyone.  I said  some  mean
things to her, things I didn't entirely  want
to  say.  I'm okay, really.  I'm just .  .  .
tired."  Sick and tired.  Of everything.
       Mrs.  Saotome  looked  uncertain,  but
eventually turned away.  "If you're positive,
Akane  dear.  Everyone's already  retired  to
their rooms for the night -- but if you  need
anyone to talk to . . . please, come to me."
     "I will, Auntie."
     "Good."
     "And Auntie. . . ."
     "Yes?"
     "Please  .  .  . please don't  tell  my
father  what's  happened.   Not  yet."    She
wasn't  too  sure  why she  didn't  want  her
father to know, but she did know that, if  he
was  to find out, she wanted it to come  from
her.
      Nodoka frowned, but nodded.  "I  hadn't
decided whether to tell Soun yet or not.  Not
yet, anyway.  I'll wait . . . for now."
     "Thank you."
     "Goodnight."
      Nodoka  slipped back through the  gate.
Akane  followed a moment later.  The door  to
the  household  closed  behind  her  with   a
resounding thud.


      He lay there on the futon, in the dark,
staring   sightlessly  at  the  ceiling   and
listening  to his mother's soft breathing  as
she  slept.   He wasn't used to  sharing  the
room  with his mother -- she rarely chose  to
sleepover  during her infrequent visits,  but
when  she  did she insisted that Ranko  slept
with  her -- and he was surprised to discover
that  he  almost  missed  his  father's  deep
rumbling   snores   (which   Genma   produced
quantities of, whether he was a panda at  the
time  or not).  Nor did he particularly enjoy
wearing the pale pink nightie his mother  had
insisted  upon -- and the fact  that  it  was
Akane's  did  little  to  make  matters   any
better.
      Man,  what  a  day,  Ranma  thought  to
himself.   What a long, exhausting day.   And
what,  ultimately, had he achieved?  A little
piece  of mind, he supposed, but little else.
He  had survived, which was something --  but
then again, he told himself that every night.
But had he resolved anything?
      Yeah, I did, he realized.  At least now
I  know  where Akane stands in all  of  this.
She hates me.  The thought was a particularly
bitter  one,  but  it was one  he  could  not
avoid.  She hates me, and can I really  blame
her?
     If  only she would talk to me, allow  me
to explain!
     But then, what was there to explain?
      He  closed  his eyes with a  sigh.   He
could  only hope that, tomorrow, things would
be  better.  They had to be, right?   If  not
with  Akane, then at least with the guys  and
girls  at  school, right?  With that thought,
the   hope   for   a  better  day   tomorrow,
contending  with  the  certainty  of  Akane's
feelings  for him now, swirling  through  his
mind, Ranma Saotome slowly faded into a sleep
that was blissfully calm and dreamless.

	Continued in Choices: ???
	
***

	Well.  There ya go.
	Hope it was worth the wait -- of course, most of it had been
posted at some point or another, or was available on my webpage.  But at
least this part's done, now.  I'm already working on the next piece,
whether it be the second half of part two, or a third chapter in itself.
It deals with the following day (mostly), and what happens at school.
And, of course, dealing with the continuing schism between Ranma and
Akane.
	Before signing off, I'd like to thank all the people who've been
kind enough to pester me with repeated requests that I finish this damn
thing.  It sure helped to get me to get my ass in gear.  I promise, the
next part won't take nearly as long..  Really.

	Later!
	-Michael Noakes
*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*
There they stood, ranged along the hillside, met* E-mail at:
   To view the last of me, a living frame       * s669330@aix2.uottawa.ca
   For one more picture! in a sheet of flame    * Homepage/Fanfiction:
I saw them and I knew them all.  And yet	* aix2.uottawa.ca/~s669330
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,	*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
	And blew.  "_Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came._"
	-Robert Browing, "Childe Rolande to the Dark Tower Came" (34)
*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*