Joseph Palmer wrote:

   Now begin with a really compelling opening sentence
to set the mood. Now another to draw me in. 

Now continue writing really compelling sentences until you're done with
the story....

   "See, that's how the experts do it," he wrote. "They
learn from the millions of others who've gone before
them." The author shifted stiffly in his chair. "Oh, and
one more thing, the backspace key is your best freind. I
usualy find that if somthing is not working, it's because
the sentence is too long."

Oh, and PROOFREAD.  Spellcheckers are nice, but they don't substitute
for a good proofreading.  It's best if you can get someone else to go
over the story for you; otherwise you're likely to read what you meant
to write instead of what you have actually written.  
 

I think it would be a great thread to go through a few
opening pararaphs from fanfics and really look closely
at them. To pick out what works, and why, and what does
not work, and why.

For example: (From My fic, Autumn.)

           The rake pulled smoothly through the grass,
        the leaves bunching and spilling past the sides.
        The tines hissed through the grass, the leaves
        crackling with each stroke.
          "Every year?" Ranma called across the yard.
          "Every year." Akane replied, pausing to remove
        some leaves that had stuck in her rake.

Do you see it?

        In the first sentance I have:
                "...the grass, the leaves..."
        and then I follow it in the second sentence with
                "...the grass, the leaves..."

Eeeeeew! It might be 'artistic', but it starts the story
on a -stutter-, and I think it could be improved. Anyone
Want to take a hack at it? Or volunteer their own?

The problem isn't so much the repeated words as the repeated sentence
pattern.  Luckily, both can be fixed at once.

	"The rake pulled smoothly through the grass, the leaves bunching and
spilling past the sides.  The tines hissed with each stroke, and the
leaves crackled."

My preview for "The Rose and the Worm" included the phrase "boys lie
scattered like straws scattered by a strong wind."  I hadn't even
noticed the repetition when I wrote it.  Replacing the second
"scattered" with "tossed about" not only got rid of the repetition, but
reduced the unintentional alliteration of "straws scattered strong."

One of the major causes of errors for me is the half-rewritten
sentence.  I'll start a sentence, then rewrite part of it and wind up
with missing words or tense changes.



-- David