Trunks <songokuu@geocities.com> wrote:

	Well the scene opens to a beatiful sunrise
over Nerima, which we see a sudden swarm of birds scatter as we hear the

Who's "we," kemosabe?

If you're doing prose format rather than script, referring to the
readers is bad form. Describe the scene from the point of view of one of
the characters; this will give the reader the feeling as if the story is
actually happening, that they're involved in it rather than passively
watching.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics