again, sorry to bother y'all but this was requested three
   times within the first day.
The Art____Chapter 8 (is too damn many) 
         by GreggSharp     Metroanime@aol.com
  Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created
by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by
Fred Perry.
  i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we
can BOTH make money.
---------------------------------
	The dragon moved through the cold sluggish
waters with nearly infinite patience. It was on its
way, and it was in no hurry.
---------------------------------
	Genma moved a tile. "You think he'll make
his choice finally?"

	Soun moved another tile. "Tomorrow's the
deadline."

	"Which one do you think he'll choose?" Genma
considered using Hide on one of his shogi tiles, but
decided against it. Normal cheating was sufficient.
Palming one of his tiles, he waited for the chance
to place it in a more advantageous position.

	"Shampoo is the more logical choice. Then I
can marry Nabiki off to that Kuno fellow, he's got
money so she'll like that. Kasumi can be married off
to that nice English teacher. Akane, well she hates 
boys and I think that Art teacher is a good match for
her."

	"Isn't the English teacher some gaijin? Art 
teacher? You mean Miss Harenchi?"

	"Yes. and that's the one."

	"Uhm...unusual choices."

	"Well, Saotome, I had no idea how rewarding
matchmaking is. Now that I know..."

	Genma stared at his friend. If this was an
attempt to distract him so that the pieces could be
moved around again, it wouldn't work. Two, in fact,
could play that game. "So true, Tendo. Maybe I should
dabble myself. You don't have someone that you're
pursuing, do you?"

	"Hah, good try, Saotome." Soun moved a piece.
"After all my daughters have been married off, then
it might be something to consider."

	"Hmmm. You may have a point there." Genma 
smirked, his position was good.

	"By the way, Saotome, since tomorrow is such
a big day, I've invited your wife over to witness the
joining of our two families."

	"Gurk!" Genma fell over, not noticing the 
flurry of movement from the board. "Soun, old buddy,
please tell me you're kidding."

	Soun Tendo looked at his friend, genuinely 
puzzled. "Why, old friend? Aren't you anxious to get
back together with your wife?"

	"Soun, she's a VALKYRIE!"

	"Yes, your point?" Soun Tendo was disappointed.
Genma wasn't even looking at the board to see how badly
his position had changed.

	"When I took Ranma away on this training 
journey, I promised he would return a hero worthy of
her heritage."

	"Well, he's very heroic. Consider what happened
with that Azusa Shiratori woman."

FLASHBACK: The Golden Pair, Azusa Shiratori and Mikado
Sanzennin, having captured "Peku-peku" (Ukyou's cursed
form having been renamed as "Marie" by Azusa) racing
up to "skate to the death" against the team of Shampoo
and Ranma. Only to see Shampoo's skates come apart 
during a triple axle lux. Then the team of Ryouga and
Ranma-chan go into the battle, up until Ryouga lost his
temper completely and transformed into Porkchop in front
of the entire audience. (Most of whom still thought it
was a cheesy special effect.) However, large pigs are
very poor figure skaters.

	Ranma-chan defeating the two skaters, only to
have Kasumi walk out onto the ice, face the Golden Pair
and go Triclops. At that point Ranma had proven himself
the adaptive mage he was and begun copying down the 
details on the "Phoenix Wing" and "Demon Brand" spells
when Kasumi started obligingly throwing said spells on
Mikado (this occurred right after said skater tried to
add the Triclops' lips to his list of conquests.)
-end flashback-

	"He WAS kind of heroic there for awhile."

	"And who can doubt the courage of any guy
who gets in front of a large crowd wearing a pink
leotard?"

	"I don't think we want to mention the 'rhythmic
gymnastics match' in any detail to Nadoka. Remember, 
Valkyries are the 'Choosers of the Slain.' They don't 
have much of a sense of humor."

	"Perhaps you SHOULD worry then, Saotome."
-----------------
	Hours later, Nabiki would scan through her
tape recording of the conversation, pause, playback at
normal speed one part of the conversation, then become
very quietly ill. "Kuno? I don't deserve someone with
a brain in their head? Vengeance will be mine, father."
-----------------
	Shampoo crept through her own house. Despite 
that it was her own house and she had every right to be
there, sneaking just felt right when engaged in this
particular activity.

	There was a bad moment when she passed Ukyou
who was doing the same thing. Shampoo made a mental note
that Kasumi needed to tighten the reins on her wu.

	Finally Shampoo made it. "Heh heh, Ranma take
a bath after homework, he get Shampoo in water." Hiding,
she smiled and prepared to wait.
----------------
	Nabiki left the recording of her father's 
plans so that she could make plans of her own. Noting
that Shampoo had just snuck into the furo, Nabiki
quietly hung an "Out Of Order" sign on it, then went
to the kitchen for her own ambush.

	Kasumi noted the mushroom dish that Nabiki
was making and raised an eyebrow. That was odd, as
she knew what supplies they had. Fresh mushrooms were
not currently in stock. She heard the Triclops 
chuckle, though, so it must have been something that
Nabiki had discussed with Kasumi's other self.
-----------------
	Akane had been having a bad day. She'd had
stomach cramps again, and this had put in a foul mood
again. The last time this had hit, she'd nearly smashed
a little feli-rodent critter (Ukyou) into a fine 
red paste.

	Akane knew she had a temper problem. It, like
her hammer, was one of the things she'd inherited from
her grandfather's line. She'd also gotten stamina and
strength from the same source. You take the good with
the bad, as Kasumi would say.

	She HAD realized this time what caused such
episodes. Never again, she vowed, would she sample her
own cookies in class. The jalapenos completely destroyed
the subtle nuance she'd tried for with the ginger and
blackstrap molasses.

	However, she had to at least make a half-hearted
attempt at capturing Ranma. To concede defeat, even in
such a ridiculous contest, was against her nature.

	It reminded her of that silliness with the 
"Seven Lucky Gods Of Martial Arts." She'd been snagged
by that Kirin fellow, knocked out by a pressure point 
strike, and had awoken aboard their airship. Naturally
she'd summoned Mjolnir and told each and every one of
those Seven (Very Unlucky) Gods	exactly what she thought
of being kidnapped, and of having some upstart inbred 
tribe of martial artists pretending at godhood. It had
been just another case of someone deciding what was
best for her, and that really tended to piss her off.

	The kicker of that little adventure, of course,
had been how much they'd had to pay Nabiki to take Akane
back.

	Akane tried to figure out how one was supposed
to go about seducing someone anyway. An evil grin
spread across her face. She'd just grab the boy, throw
him over her shoulder, and kidnap him! That's what all
those "bride-nabber" types tried to do with her, so 
THAT would be acceptable behavior, in a '90s kind of 
way.

	Having decided on a suitable course of action,
Akane decided a nap to sleep off the effects of her
cooking would be in order.
-----------------
	Ranma glanced around. Why did his danger sense
keep going off?
-----------------
	Ukyou spotted Ranma on the roof and began
climbing up. Nabiki spotted her, and one "oops" later,
a soaked squirrelfox managed to cuddle up to Ranma.

	It was better than nothing, and maybe she
could sneak into the furo later with him.

	That hope was dashed when they got to the furo
and saw the "Out Of Order" sign.
----------------
	Shampoo waited impatiently. Where was Ranma?
She still had to pay him back for the comments about her
being shy and demure.
----------------
	Nabiki snuck into Akane's room and popped a
mushroom into her open sister's mouth. Akane reflexively
swallowed.

	Waiting to make sure it took effect, Nabiki left
the moment it was apparent that Akane was OUT of the
race, at least for the next day or so.
----------------
	Kasumi looked at the bowls of ramen that Nabiki
prepared. How nice. Each had been labelled specifically
for each member of the family, which was so thoughtful
of Nabiki, and showed Nabiki's tendency to organize
everything.

	Briefly the third eye opened. The Triclops,
grinned, not nearly as pleasantly as Kasumi, and
switched two labels around. The eye closed.

	Kasumi, puzzled by whatever the Triclops had
done, merely shrugged. Oh well, sometimes Nabiki COULD
be a little overzealous in her organizational skills.
---------------
	Dinner was served. Rice, ramen, green tea, and
some breadsticks that had been on special at the market.

	Nabiki ate slowly, glancing from one to the
other of the various guests. Shampoo looked as if she
were alternately ready to yell at Ranma, then unhappy,
then suspicious. Akane looked tired, as if she'd just
gotten up. Genma and Soun smiled at each other. Ukyou
had finally transformed back, and kept trying to let
Ranma know that SHE had a valid claim in the great 
fiancee competition.

	Akane abruptly hiccupped and shrank. A six year
old girl wearing her clothes looked at all the grownups
staring at her and began to bawl.

	"Akane, what happen to you? <HIC!>" The six year
old Shampoo looked down at herself. "AIiiiiiyaaaa."

	"Akane, Shampoo? What? <HIC!> Raaaannncchannnn."
Ukyou sniffled. "Waaaaaaaaaaa."

	Nabiki watched Kasumi. "Oh dear, Ranma, and 
here you have to make a decision tomorrow. Well, at
least with this odd bug going around you've got an
easier decision."

	"Actually, I've already made my decision," Ranma
looked around at the children who were slowly getting
their emotions under control. Apparently their mental
and emotional state had largely reverted too.

	"Oh? And who, praytell, is the choice <HIC!>
Arrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!"

	"Nabiki, you're so cute as a little girl."

	"Not fair! Not wanna be a kid!"

	"Kasumi, you didn't do something with the food,
did you?"

	The third eye opened. "No, I just switched the
labels on the bowls for Nabiki and myself. Actually,
Nabiki, I'm surprised you didn't anticipate it."

	"Not fair," sniffled Nabiki, almost losing
control again.

	"There's only one adult fiancee," noted the
Triclops. "Shame about that, isn't it?"

	Ranma shrugged, this was as good a time as any.
Getting to one knee, he held out a ring. "Kasumi Tendo,
will you marry me?"

	The Triclops put the ring on with a look of 
triumph that abruptly turned to horror. "What? No!"
The third eye vanished. "Oh my!"

	"What was that," Soun Tendo asked, relatively
calmly considering what had just happened.

	"Oh the wedding ring has a couple of 
enchantments on it. Kasumi's now the dominant persona,
she's the one who decides when the Triclops comes out,
and for how long."

	"Oh, well, in that case," Soun began dancing 
around the room with his friend Genma. The children
cried. Kasumi shyly took Ranma's hand and agreed.
-----------------------
	Ukyou, finally adult again, sat on the rooftop,
trying not to think about what was going on in the
room that had formerly been Kasumi's.

	The wedding had proven anticlimatic. Since the
other fiancees had been turned adult only after the
ceremony had been completed, things had been rather
calmer than they might otherwise have been.

	Abruptly Ukyou's eye widened. A few moments
later she slid off the roof, and barely noticed. "Oh,
ah, eeep, oh." Ukyou scrambled to get inside the house
and out of sight.

	Being linked to Kasumi by being Kasumi's wu
was turning out to have some odd side effects. She was
unsure whether to call this a perk or yet another curse.
She settled for calling it undignified for now.
-----------------
	The dragon moved like a shadow through icy
depths. All was as foreseen.
Next The Art 9/9: "What do you mean I missed the
 end of the world?"