Basic Tenants

a Maison Ikkoku/Ranma spamfic crossover

by Bridget Wilde

all characters property of Rumiko Takahashi

Author's Note:  This takes place after the end of the Maison Ikkoku 
manga, so there may be some spoilers.  But nothing you probably weren't 
expecting anyhow.  C&C welcome, private or to the list. Enjoy!

	Kyoko set down her paint roller and surveyed the pristine white 
walls of room five.  There was something about fresh white paint that 
made her heart quiver, something about the way the light reflected off 
the sporadic patches of wetness and the faint gloss of the paint.  The 
walls were flat and seamless, thanks to the liberal application of 
plaster on the wall shared with room four.  Now if only it would last.  
She sighed heartily, wiping a bit of sweat from her brow with a 
white-splattered hand, thinking that she probably had paint on her nose.  
Not that she cared how she looked; the fresh paint gave the room such a 
bright look that she hugged herself, oddly proud.
	The pride was tinged faintly with old sorrow, and Kyoko smiled 
wistfully.  If only this brightness had not come at such a cost.  It had 
been just over a year since Mr. Otonashi, Soichiro's father, had passed 
away, leaving Ikkoku-kan and a sizeable sum of money to Kyoko and Godai.  
Once the grief had faded, the couple had assessed the situation and 
decided that the wisest thing would be to invest the money in 
improvements to the boarding house.  The improvements eventually took 
the form of an additional three rooms, a communal bath, and a few minor 
repairs.  Godai had worried that they would have trouble filling the 
extra space, but strategically posted advertisements had yielded five 
new tenants -- two for the new rooms, and three who preferred the old 
rooms, though Kyoko had decided to at least repaint after comparing the 
old rooms to the new.  The following day would bring the arrival of the 
new tenants.
	She was startled from her thoughts by the sound of Godai's voice 
from the hall, calling her name.  He entered the room briskly, little 
three-year-old Haruka gleefully clinging to his back.  "Kyoko, the 
copies of the lease were just delivered by the print shop.  I thought 
you might want to look them over for errors."
	"Sure," Kyoko smiled, crunching across white-splattered newsprint 
for a long sweet kiss that ended only when Haruka yanked on Godai's hair 
with all her might, snapping his head back.
	"Gak!" he said eloquently.
	"Me too!  Me kiss too!" the child gurgled, obviously vastly amused 
by her father's agony.  Kyoko obligingly leaned around Godai's shoulder 
to kiss her, unobtrusively disengaging the small fist from its handhold 
of pain.  Godai sighed in relief, slipping his arms around his wife's 
waist for a contented expression of love too sickening to describe.  
Eventually Kyoko lifted her head, pressing a chaste kiss to Godai's 
lovably weak chin.
	"So, how does it feel to be expanding our business?" she said 
impishly, taking Haruka from his back and swinging her around in a 
laughing circle, then settling her under protest on one hip.
	"I dunno," he said, scratching behind one ear.  "I mean, what are 
the new tenants like?"
	Kyoko shrugged.  "I don't really know.  I haven't met them."
	"You haven't... But didn't they all come look at the rooms?"
	"Well, yes.  But Haruka had her three year well check one day, and 
the next I had to install the new tatami mats... so I asked Yotsuya to 
show them around."
	Godai paled.  "Y... Yotsuya?" he said in a faint voice.
	"Yes, he was kind enough to volunteer..."
	"Have you gone utterly insane?"
	Kyoko shifted Haruka to her other hip, blushing.  "Actually, I 
thought it was my responsibility to my new tenants to, well, give them a 
good hard look at their new neighbor before signing anything.  After 
all, it would be inhumane to let them move in unprepared."
	"Nobody warned me," he grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets.  
"It makes sense, I guess, but you could have at least... screened them, 
or something.  Who knows what madmen he'd let in here, just for fun?"
	"Well, they filled out applications.  Let's see... As I recall, 
three of them are college students.  Two first-year, one second-year.  
There's a high school teacher, a woman, and an older gentleman, retired.  
How much trouble could they be?"
	Godai lifted one eyebrow.  "Say, do you still have Yotsuya's 
application on file?"
	"Of course."
	"What does it say his job is?"
	"He filled in that blank with a drawing of Tokyo Tower, and a 
circle with the words 'I shall not tell you' in red ink.  I don't think 
the last manager checked the applications too closely."
	"Figures.  Well, I guess we'll find out about the new tenants 
tomorrow in any case."
	"For better or for worse."  Kyoko surveyed the room one last time, 
setting Haruka on the floor and gathering up her painting supplies.  
"Looks pretty good, doesn't it?"
	"Yep.  I can hardly recognize it as the place I lived in.  This 
boarding house may move up to third rate in no time."
	Kyoko made a face, dabbing Godai's nose with the paint roller.  
"Oh, I think we can try for making it a second-rate boarding house at 
the very least.  One should always aim high."  

                              *  *  *

	The next morning, Kyoko awoke to an ominous looming shape, and 
shrieked as she pulled the covers up to her neck.  Startled out of his 
sleep, Godai screamed automatically, bleary eyes focusing in a panic on 
a visage that presaged doom.
	"Yotsuya!  What the hell are you doing in our room?"
	Yotsuya stared down his long nose, eyes heavy-lidded, nostrils 
flaring slightly.  "How rude of you, Mr. and Mrs. Godai.  And I having 
endured the rigors of picking your lock simply to bring you a message.  
Why could you not pursue your marital bliss in room five?  It would be 
much more convenient."  His eyes moved slightly to the side, where 
Kyoko's shoulder peeked out from the covers.
	"Because we prefer not to have you watching us when we... pursue 
our marital bliss!"  Godai snapped, pulling the covers up to Kyoko's 
nose.  "So what do you want?"
	"Have I not said I bear a message?"
	"Fine!  What is it!"
	"Very well.  The first of the new residents has arrived.  I have 
placed him in room nine at his request."  Yotsuya shifted his gaze to 
meet Kyoko's glare.  "Kanrinin-san, do you not wish to rise and greet 
him?  I promise, I shall not peek."
	Kyoko stuck her head out long enough to shout "Out!" before diving 
back under the covers.
	Yotsuya turned his head to gaze out the window, intoning: 

		"A glimpse of shoulder
		Five new tenants moving in
		Day of bounding joy."

With that, he turned smartly on his heel and strode with regal grace to 
the door.  As it began to swing shut behind him, he poked his head back 
in, narrow eyes unblinkingly focused on Godai's arm around Kyoko.  
"Godai, restrain your baser urges.  There are guests about."
	"Out!"
	The door closed, and Yotsuya's shadow vanished from the window.  
Thin-lipped, Godai stood and stalked over to the door, yanking it open 
to reveal Yotsuya crouched just outside.  
	Yotsuya blinked.  "Godai, why are you restraining your baser 
urges?  I would not have thought you capable of such will power."
	"Guess again."
	Yotsuya rose and began his stately procession down the hall, hands 
clasped in the small of his back.  Godai slammed the door, locking it 
with an angry flourish.
	Kyoko tossed back the covers and flounced over to the closet, 
tugging on lingerie before yanking out a rose crepe dress and jerking it 
over her head.  "Honestly, Yotsuya gets worse every year," she said, 
voice muffled by the fabric.
	"At least he didn't wake up Haruka."
	"I suppose that's something to be grateful for."  She adjusted the 
dress on her shoulders, presenting her back to Godai.  "Fasten me up, 
would you?"  As Godai pulled up the zipper, she laughed sharply.  "I 
probably shouldn't be thinking this, but maybe it's good we're getting 
in new tenants.  I think Yotsuya's getting bored.  Maybe the new people 
will distract him away from us."
	"Don't count on it."  Godai smoothed the fabric over her back, 
fingers lingering slightly, then reached for his own clothes.  
"Yotsuya's always taken a special interest in our welfare."
	Kyoko turned in front of her full-length mirror, smoothing the 
waist of the dress.  "Well, he is right about one thing.  If the tenants 
are starting to arrive, we should be up and about.  Though I hadn't 
expected anyone this early, particularly not one of the students.  My 
experience with students is they're a fairly sluggish sort."  She 
glanced sidelong at Godai, lips curving slightly.
	"Not like you've met that many students," he said cluelessly, 
buttoning up his shirt.  "Just me... hey!  I was not sluggish!"
	She laughed, twirling over to him.  "Of course not, dear.  You 
were the soul of punctuality, a paragon of virtues."
	He stuck out his jaw.  "Flattery will get you nowhere."
	"Will it convince you to get Haruka ready?  I can go greet the new 
tenant, perhaps talk to him until you are ready to help him with his 
baggage..."
	He looked at her speculatively.  "I could be convinced."
	She convinced him.      

                              *  *  *

	Kyoko paused in the hallway outside room nine, bolstering her 
courage with a few deep breaths.  She was about to knock on the numbered 
wooden door, which stood slightly ajar, when an exclamation inside made 
her hand falter.
	"Not there, fool!  They must be in perfect symmetry to each other, 
else one might think I favor the other and grieve at my neglect.  I 
could not bear it if such a misunderstanding were to occur."  The voice 
was oddly formal, with an air of confidence that was nearly unsettling.  
Kyoko shifted to one side, peeking in through the door.
	Within, a young man in traditional dress was seated upon a 
cushion, chin in hand as he directed the movements of a small man in 
ninja costume who was currently straining under a picture of a pig-
tailed girl in a bikini.  
	Kyoko must have made some sound, for he turned and, upon seeing 
her, rose and inclined his head.  "You must be the fair housewife who 
maintains this institution, am I correct?"  She nodded mutely.  "I must 
apologize for my servant here, he is but a buffoon of a ninja, unworthy 
to scrape the dust from my heels -- is that not right, Sasuke?"
	"Absolutely, Master Kuno."
	"But I have been remiss in my introductions."  He cleared his 
throat and struck a pose.  "I am the rising young star of the college 
kendo world, he whom men call the Blue Thunder of Tokeizaka Vo-Tech 
Institute:  Tatewaki Kuno, age nineteen."  Kyoko thought she heard 
thunder in the distance.
	"I... I'm Kyoko Godai."  She cleared her throat, regaining some of 
her confidence.  "Welcome to Ikkoku-kan.  Um... have you seen the 
bathing facilities?" she continued lamely.
	"Think you that I have chosen to let these premises as a mere 
tenant, one who has no other venue in which to live?  Indeed, it is not 
so.  I yet reside on the family estate.  However, I have deemed it 
necessary to locate a room of meditation where I may easily access it 
during the school day.  It is for that reason, and that reason alone, 
that I have come to these humble surroundings, that I may find repose in 
humility, as the great tea-master Sen no Rikyu."
	"Oh, really?"  Kyoko smiled politely, determined not to ask what 
the posters of young women -- for another picture of a fierce-looking 
girl in a martial arts _gi_ already hung on the wall -- had to do with 
meditation.
	"Excuse me..." A man's voice came from outside in the hall; as 
Kyoko turned, a handsome young man with blue eyes like melting ice 
stepped in the open door.  "The resident of room four said that I could 
find the manager in here...?"
	"That would be me," Kyoko said with a smile.
	"Ah.  I had not expected such a vision of loveliness." He reached 
out and took her hand, bringing it towards his lips.  "I am Mikado 
Sanzenin."
	Kyoko snatched her hand away before he could kiss it.  "I'm Kyoko 
Godai," she hastened to say.  "Welcome to Ikkoku-kan.  You were to have 
room number three, is that correct?"
	"Yes, I..."  He was interrupted by a high-pitched squealing from 
outside.  His face hardened with resignation.  "Excuse me," he said 
shortly, leaving the room.
	The squealing turned into words, still pitched almost unnaturally 
high.  "Oooo, that dog is so CUTE! Christine, Christine, my Christine!"
	Mikado's voice trailed in.  "Put the dog back, Azusa.  It belongs 
to someone else.  You're here to help me move in, not to steal!"
	"No, it's my li'l Christine! No! Nonono! Don't you touch my 
Christine! Don't touch - NoAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The voice melted into a loud 
wail that went on an on and on, punctuated by a crashing that sounded 
strangely like a doghouse being ripped from the ground and smashed 
against something hard and hollow.
	Shortly thereafter, Mikado returned, a huge lump forming atop his 
perfect head.  A blue-eyed blonde girl in a pink dress composed entirely 
of ruffles entered at his side, glaring at him murderously.
	Kyoko's head was starting to hurt.  "Would you like to see your..."
	"My pigtailed princess!"
	"...pigtailed..." Kyoko trailed off.  Mikado was staring over her 
shoulder at... the poster of the red-haired girl?
	Tatewaki Kuno stepped protectively in front of the poster, which 
had finally found its resting space; the ninja had moved on to unpacking 
a selection of inspirational calligraphy.  "How do *you* know the 
pigtailed girl?" Kuno demanded haughtily.  He held a _bokken_ in his 
hands, plainly ready for use.
	Mikado smiled arrogantly, fingers flicking his bangs into an even 
more attractive position.  "Why, she surrendered her lips to me, long 
ago.  Such adoration she had for me..."
	Kuno's eyes bulged out in fury.  "You... KISSED... her?!"
	"Of course."  Mikado's eyes narrowed, and his posture changed 
slightly; even Kyoko could tell that he, too, was a fighter.  The two 
faced down in a scene that would have been dramatic, had Azusa not at 
that moment discovered Sasuke. "That ninja is SOOOOOOO cute!  Javert, 
Javert, my little Javert!" 
	"Can't I just show you your room?" Kyoko said helplessly as they 
began to circle each other like wolves.  Kuno was plainly enraged, 
and the look of confidence on Mikado's face said clearly that he was 
ready for a fight.
	Kyoko felt her temper beginning to boil up.  She had spent *weeks* 
getting these rooms ready, painting the walls, paying contractors 
exorbitant prices to take their own sweet time about adding on to the 
old building - and they were going to destroy it on their first day? She 
didn't think so!  "You stop that fighting at once!" she shouted, though 
they didn't appear to hear her.
	"Fighting?" A child's voice piped up from Kyoko's side.  She looked 
down to see an adorable moppet of a girl, perhaps nine?...with long 
brown hair and a loose yellow dress.  She was intently watching the two 
young men, a narrow line of concentration between her eyebrows.
	"Hello, little girl," Kyoko smiled despite herself.  "Is your 
mother one of the new tenants...?"
	"No, I am," the girl said, still watching the two young men.  "I'm 
Hinako Ninomiya."  Kyoko was about to protest that the girl was far too 
young to be a high-school teacher, when the little girl burst out, 
"Those two must be delinquents!"
	"Delinquents?" Kyoko asked faintly.  "I suppose so, but..."
	The little girl didn't wait for more of an answer, bounding forward 
a few steps and holding out her hand, a 5-yen coin between two of her 
fingers.  "Happo-go-en-satsu!" she cried in an oddly fierce voice.  
Kyoko watched numbly as a weird glow filled the room, the air itself 
seeming to flow into little Hinako.  Before her eyes, the little girl 
was growing up and out, until she filled her yellow dress nearly to 
bursting.  Mikado and Kuno fell to the floor - though their fall seemed 
to take forever, as if they were paper dolls wafting slowly through the 
air.
	Now a leggy brunette in a tight yellow minidress, Hinako turned to 
face Kyoko, a slight smile on her face.  "Shall I sign the lease now?" 
she said in a husky voice that made Kyoko suddenly very, very glad that 
her husband was not present.
	"Hey! 's'anybody home?" 
	That voice was familiar, if a bit unexpected. "Akemi! What are you 
doing here?"
	The redhead sauntered in through the door, a crooked smile on her 
face.  She was wearing a spaghetti-strap crop top and short-shorts cut 
low across her hips; Kyoko sighed inwardly, thinking that it wasn't much 
of a change from the lingerie she used to wear. Akemi hitched her purse 
up on her shoulder, her grin widening. "Yotsuya said the new victims're 
showing up today.  I jus' came for the party!"  Her eyes drifted to the 
two bodies on the floor, then taking in Azusa, who had adorned a 
blushing Sasuke with a pink bow and ruffled collar.  Her lips twitched 
with amusement.  "Looks like you got started early."
	"No, they're just..." Kyoko trailed off as she realized she really 
didn't know what was going on, or how to explain it... "Resting.  
They're resting."  
	"Not much stamina there." Akemi's eyes slid to Hinako, widening 
slightly. There was a moment in which it seemed crackling energy passed 
between the two, as if a challenge had been given and answered; then 
Akemi relaxed. "Hi, I'm Akemi Roppongi," she said, her crooked grin 
reappearing.  "You must be Miss Hinako."
	"Yes, I am."
	"Great to meet you..."
	"You know about the new tenants?" Kyoko was appalled.
	"Sure, Yotsuya told me all about 'em.  That's why I came over."
	Kyoko couldn't help thinking grumpily that Yotsuya hadn't bothered 
telling *her* anything, and she was the owner, darnit! She was about to 
say so, when Akemi leaned in close, her expression furtive.
	"Has the guy in room eight shown up yet? Yotsuya said..."
	Whatever Yotsuya had said was lost in a huge roar of sound from the 
street.  It grew in volume quickly, sounding rather like a mob of 
enraged women.  Kyoko ran to the door, intent on finding out what was 
going on, but stopped cold when a diminutive figure bounced in through 
the door, a huge parcel on his back.
	"What a haul!" the gnomish figure cried joyously, as the roar 
diminished into the distance. He - at least she thought it was a he, it 
certainly sounded like one - bounced off a couple of walls, then settled 
in a corner of the room and started picking through the bag.
	Kyoko drew herself up to her full height.  "Excuse me!" she barked, 
hands belligerently on her hips.  "What on earth do you think you're 
doing?"
	The wizened old man looked up in surprise.  "Oh, that's right. I 
haven't introduced myself.  The name's Happousai.  I'm supposed to be 
moving into room eight." He bowed slightly to Kyoko, then noticed Akemi, 
a little behind her.  His face began to glow beatifically, and before 
Kyoko could reply that he would move into room eight over her dead body, 
he was airborne with a cry of "Sweet-o!"
	"Happo-tsuri-sen-kaeshi!" Hinako's voice rang out from Kyoko's 
side, moments before she was nearly blinded by a flash of yellow energy 
that burst from the woman's hands. Kyoko heard with horror the cracking 
thud of his impact.  She rubbed her eyes until the spots disappeared, 
then gazed in horror at the cracks that spread like cobwebs from the 
small crater he had formed in her... brand... new... wall.  As if an 
afterthought, the two framed posters fell from the wall with twin thunks 
on the tatami.
	"Hmmm..." Akemi said, her voice harsh on Kyoko�s ears.  "Yotsuya 
was right.  They are a bunch of freakos."
	"I am not a freako!" Hinako was a child again, Kyoko noted numbly.
	"Yotsuya..." She would kill him, Kyoko decided. She would seal him 
inside the wall when she fixed it � but then, she sighed brokenly, why 
fix it at all? With tenants like these...
	"Hey, Kanrinin-san! Take a look at this!" Akemi had huddled down by 
Happousai�s bag; Kyoko�s curiosity got the better of her, and she joined 
Akemi, reaching into the bag in curiosity.
	She pulled out the first item she found with trembling hands. A 
skimpy little lace teddy, barely held together by a few strategic satin 
bows.  She stared at it in shock as Akemi rummaged through the rest of 
the bag�s contents.
	"Hey, I think this is mine.  I wondered what had happened to it... 
Ooo, this one isn�t mine, but it sure is cute!"
	"What�s all the noise in here?" Mrs. Ichinose�s voice preceded her; 
Kyoko heard her entering.  "Kanrinin-san, that yours?"
	Kyoko stuffed the teddy back in the bag hurriedly.  "No, it�s not, 
it�s... um... his." She indicated the crater with her head.
	Mrs. Ichinose peeled Happousai off the wall, looking at him briefly 
before tossing him aside. "Doesn�t look like his size.  I bet the loser 
would like it.  You should try it on." She sat heavily against the wall, 
setting down a huge bottle of sake beside her.
	"No, I...�
	Akemi chimed in. "C�mon, Kanrinin-san.  It�s not like we can go 
give it back."
	"But..."
	"Is that liquor?" Hinako�s childish voice burst in.  
	"Damn straight. You�re not old enough."
	"How rude! I�m a grownup!"
	"Yeah, right." 
	"Hey, wanna pour me some?" Akemi grinned.
	"Shoulda brought your own." Mrs. Ichinose took a swig from the 
bottle.
	"excuse me..."
	"Who said you were having a party in here?" Kyoko demanded hotly.
	"Gotta welcome the new tenants," Akemi said with her slyest smile. 
She poked at Sanzenin. "Hey, cutie.  Wake up."
	He stirred sluggishly. "Whuzzat?"
	"Wake up.  Y�gotta go buy me some booze."
	"He is *not* buying you any booze! He hasn�t even signed the lease 
yet!"
	Mikado was up, giving Akemi a melting gaze. "Of course, my fair 
one.  But of course, such a favor deserves payment..."
	"We can negotiate that."
	"excuse me..."
	Mrs. Ichinose began to dance.
	Kuno stirred when she stepped on his face.  "Sasuke!" he demanded 
fuzzily.  "Fetch me a restorative elixir."
	Sasuke looked up from the tea party he and Azusa were engaged in. 
"But, Master Kuno!"
	"You can�t have my Javert!" Azusa shrieked, wrapping her arms 
around Sasuke protectively.  "We�re having a tea party!"
	"This�ll restore you!" Mrs. Ichinose paused in her dance to pour 
some of her sake in Kuno�s half-open mouth.  He choked briefly before 
gulping it down.
	The lump that had been Happousai suddenly lifted its head.  "Do I 
smell sake?"
	"Mrs. Ichinose, stop it! Everybody, just stop!"
	"excuse me..."
	"What do you want!" Kyoko shrieked, whirling around in fury.
	Before her was a somewhat weedy looking boy with dark circles under 
his eyes.  He shrank before her in a combination of shyness and fear.
	"I... I�m sorry," Kyoko said more gently, her face red with 
embarrassment. "Can I help you?"
	"I�m Hikaru Gosunkugi.  I�m supposed to move into..."
	"Room five." Yotsuya suddenly loomed up beside Gosunkugi, his hand 
clamping down possessively on the new tenant�s scrawny shoulder. Was 
that a look of triumph in his eyes?  "Welcome to Ikkoku-kan."
	"Th...Thank you."
	"Now: let the party begin!" Yotsuya intoned beatifically.
	It did.
	Kyoko slipped out of room nine, closing the door slowly behind her.  
The sounds of celebration echoed through the door.
	Godai appeared at the end of the hall, a scrubbed and dressed 
Haruka gleefully riding on his shoulders.  He stopped when he saw Kyoko, 
confusion crossing his face.
	"What�s wrong?"
	"I�m going back to bed." And she did.

THE END

AUTHOR�S NOTE:

I�ll freely admit that there are more than enough Ranma/Maison Ikkoku 
crossovers out there.  There were two main reasons for writing this fic.  
The first was a random musing about the naming of characters in MI after 
the numbers of the rooms they lived in, which led to another random 
musing about number-named characters in Ranma, and the list of 
characters I ended up with seemed to be too good to pass up.  The second 
reason was a bit less manic: I�ve been thinking of writing some MI 
fanfiction (not necessarily involving crossovers) and wanted to try my 
hand at writing the characters first.

This will probably not be continued, unless I come up with an actual 
*gasp* plot.