Coming to America 

Chapter One
 
 "There was something in the air that night! The stars were bright!
Fernando!"
  Herb looked away from his two singing companions and saw
that all of the people in the airplane were looking at them.
  Herb said,"I don't know them."
  He looked away from the people and thought about how irritating
his situation was. He couldn't possibly throw a chi blast at the blithering
idiots so he would just have to sit and suffer their idiotic antics.
  Lime stopped singing and pulled down one of the emergency 
oxygen masks and shouted,"Hey, Herb-sama look at this! Normal 
air!" Lime put the mask to his face and said,"Emergency air!"
  Mint tried to take the mask from Lime and shouted,"Hey give that
to me! I want it!"
  Lime kept the mask from Mint and stook his tongue out at the wolf boy.
  Herb groaned and put his head in his hands. It couldn't possibly 
get any worse.
   The prince of the Musk Dynasty saw that the inflight movie had started
and so did Lime and Mint. Herb could barely speak as he saw the camera
pan to show mountains and a young woman. 
  Lime and Mint sang with the woman,"The hills are alive with the sound 
of music!"
 Herb let a blood curdling scream and swore eternal vengeance on Murphy.
---
 As they walked down the terminal Herb couldn't help, but feel like he had
been traumatized. After the flight he had quickly beaten Lime and Mint for
being such nuisances, but they didn't seem to mind. As they had walked down
the terminal Lime and Mint said they thought they spotted some bald men 
dressed in orange robes. Lime and Mint had run up to them and asked if they
were like the guys from the tv show Kung-Fu. Before they could respond the
terrible duo
had begun 'sparring' with them. As Lime and Mint left there battered bodies
on
the ground one of the men held up a flower and croaked out,"Hare Krishna."
  Now going through the runway Herb lectured his two loyal henchmen.
  "Okay, while we're here we should start to speak American."
  Mint looked like he was about to say something, but shut up when Herb
narrowed
his eyes at him.
  "We're  going to take our next flight to Washington D.C. where we'll
meet my fiancee. Is that understood?"
  Lime and Mint nodded their heads and Mint asked,"Herb-sama! Do we have
time
for sight seeing?"
  Herb said,"No."
  Lime and Mint both gave puppy dog looks and said,"Please Herb-sama!"
  Herb looked at them and couldn't find the heart to beat the living hell
out of
them. He was definitely becoming soft. "Okay, where did you want to go?"
  Lime and Mint shouted,"We wanted to go to the Museum of Jurassic
Technology!"
  Herb blinked and said,"What the hell is that?!"
  Lime said,"Uh, well it's a museum.... of Jurassic Technology!"
  Mint shook his head violently and said,"Yeah that's it!"
  Herb frowned and said,"You two have no idea what it is, right?"
  The tiger boy and the wolf boy laughed nervously.
  Herb groaned and said,"Well, do you two at least know where it is?"
  Lime shook his head yes and Herb said,"Fine, but let's get it over with. I
want
to get on that plane and leave L.A. as soon as possible."
  At hearing the city's name Lime and Mint began to blare out,"I love L.A.!
We 
Love it! I love L.A.! We love it!"
  Herb cracked his knuckles and found that his moment of clemency had now
been
replaced by his beat the shit out of the two knuckle heads before they drove
him insane moment. At least it couldn't get any worse.
---
  It got worse.
  The instant they had set foot in the small building Lime and Mint had made
total
asses of themselves and Herb had to apologize for their behavior. (in a
native tongue
no less!) Herb didn't really want to destroy a museum, no matter how odd it
was, so
he suffered Lime and Mint's actions without unleashing violence on them.
   "Hey Herb-sama look at this!" Mint shouted.
   He turned around and saw that Lime was looking into the wall through a
looking glass.
Herb walked over and Lime stepped aside. Herb noted that the glass magnified
the image
and found what he saw interesting. It was a needle and on top of it were
Snow White and
the Seven Dwarfs.
  Mint said,"Say, Lime how do you figure the guy made those things small
enough to fit
on the head of a needle?"
  Lime waved his hand and said,"It's an optical allusion [ 1.]. There's no
way that you could 
make something that small."
  Mint said,"Well, I don't believe you!"
  Lime grinned and said,"Okay, I'll prove it by smashing through the wall
and taking it out!"
  Mint said,"Okay!"
  "Not okay!" Herb yelled.
  He spun around and dragged them away from the exhibit before they could do
any damage.
He took them over to an exhibit that was called 'Tell the Bees'. 
  Herb being the only one who actually read 'American' decided to translate
for Lime and
Mint some of the writings on the exhibit.
  "If a relative or spurned lover was unhappy with a marriage he/ she could
go to the wedding
with a pair of scissors. At the reception he/ she would stand behind the
groom and call out his
name. If the groom turned around the person could make it so the couple...
could... not... 
consumate... the.... marriage."
  Lime and Mint scratched their heads not comprehending what was just said.
Unfortunately 
Herb had comprehended what was just said and was an interesting shade of
green at the 
moment.
  Lime and Mint asked Herb simultaneously,"What do you mean 'make it so the
couple could 
not consumate the marriage'?"
  Herb shook his head and said,"I'll tell you when you're older.  Let's get
out of here!"
  Lime said,"But Herb we wanted to get t-shirts!"
  Mint said,"Please!"
  He wanted to scream at the two idiots. There was no way that the Prince of
the Musk
Dynasty would do the bidding of commoners!  Herb would not tolerate their
whininess
anymore. 
  He took one look at their puppy dog faces and crumbled. "What sizes do you
two wear?"
---
  "My t-shirt makes less sense than your t-shirt!"
  "Nuh, uh! My t-shirt makes less sense than yours!"
  Herb blocked out the banter between his two esteemed coleauges and went
back trying
to get three plane tickets for Washington D.C.
   "Does not!"
   "Does too!"
   Maybe he could just get one plane ticket to Washington D.C.
   The young man behind the counter said in 'American',"Well, Mr.-"
   "Herb. Prince Herb." Herb said in an accented 'American'.
   The young man raised an eyebrow at that and said,"Okay, whatever 
you say. Prince Herb,  you wanted three tickets to Washington D.C., right?"
   Herb said,"Yes."
   "You do know that it's a busy season?"
  "I don't care what season it is! Get me on the next plane to Washington
D.C."
  The young man looked at his computer and said,"The next available flight 
for Washington D.C. will be in twelve days."
  "What?!" 
  "I told you it was a busy season."
  Herb said,"But I need to get there in ten days!"
  The young man said,"Hey, It would only take you a couple of days to get
there if you went by car."
   The thought of being stuck in a car with the two idiots behind him for  a
couple
of days flashed through his mind. There was only one way he could respond to
that thought.
  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

To Be Continued...

[1.] I know that it's supposed to be illusion, but Lime doesn't know that.
BTW There really is a Museum of Jurassic Technology in L.A. 

Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.