there were enough requests to justify the repost. any 
other chapters go to the website.
The Art____Chapter 5: 
         Enter Ryouga, The Eternal Lost Boy & Ukyou
Can Cook (in more ways than one)

by GreggSharp   
http://members.aol.com/Metroanime/main.html
  Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created
by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by
Fred Perry.
  i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we
can BOTH make money.
--------------------------
	Two figures came out of what the locals
thought of as a dead-end alley and looked around
with hope beginning to show on their faces.

	"The signs, they're in Japanese!"

	"I see 'em," the girl looked for a street
sign. "We're in KOBE!" The elation faded. "Ryouga,
do you remember what happened four years ago?"

	"Uhm, we got lost?"

	Ukyou glared at him. "We both have reasons
for chasing after Ranma Saotome, but as I recall you
had said something about how we would catch up with
Ranma in no time."

	Ryouga laughed a little bit and rubbed the
back of his head. "Uhm gee, it's been so long, I don't
quite recall."

	"Have you noticed the intersection? That this
is the same intersection we left FOUR YEARS AGO!"
Ukyou's glare intensified. "We've gone through all this
crap only to make a four-year full-CIRCLE!"

	"Don't worry, Ukyou, we know where he's going
thanks to that old woman we met in the Hegemony. All
we need to do is catch the train to Tokyo. Easy." 
With a cocky grin, Ryouga started walking.

	After watching Ryouga continue due South, 
Ukyou turned to the North and looked at the train
station. With a sigh and a shrug, Ukyou decided that
the past four years had been entirely too long with
the stubborn wereswine.

	Funny how thinking about everything that 
Ryouga had put her through gave Ukyou a hankering for
porkchops.
------------------
	"This bad."

	"You can say that again."

	"This bad."

	Nabiki didn't look amused. "Look, I'm the first
to admit that when a plan goes awry it's more often 
than not some factor overlooked or discounted. The old
saying about 'the entropy factor of any given situation
increases exponentially when humans are involved' is
quite true.

	They both looked through the door to where
Kasumi and Ranma were sitting at a table, having a
cup of tea and talking.

	"Did not think of Kasumi as rival."

	"I discounted her myself. In retrospect, this
was an oversight. With her projective empathy and kind
nature, she can make others feel nice just being around
her. Right now, she's being affected by the glamourie
even though it's weaker in the male form."

	"So he making her feel hot and bothered, and
she projecting that. Aiyaa. No wonder both blushing."
Shampoo considered her adopted sister. "So what we do,
Nabiki?"

	"First, we get out of range ourselves." Nabiki
tugged at her collar, noting how hot and restrictive her
clothing had seemed to get in the past few minutes. The
idea of a feedback loop between the two occurred to her,
which caused her considerable anxiety. "Next we try to
find a way to awaken the triclops."

	"You sure about that 'Biki? No telling what
triclops do. Might just hurt Ranma, maybe worse."

	"Calculated risk. If those two keep going at
it like that, we're likely to find Kasumi doing some
very out-of-character things before long."

	Shampoo glanced at the two and tried to think
of what would be impossible behavior for Kasumi. Her
eyes crossed as an image of Kasumi and Ranma <censored>
on the table, their <censored><censored> as they 
<censored>.(1)

	Nabiki noted Shampoo's eyes crossing and
wondered exactly where her adopted sister's imagination
was running. She thought she could awaken the triclops
before the two kissed, and the triclops' mental shields
should shrug the glamourie off like a duck to water.
---------------------
	"So why did those boys mob you when you turned
female?" Kasumi blew gently on the tea, watching Ranma's
face carefully. "That glamourie isn't that strong."

	"You and your sisters have mental defenses.
It's another little curse picked up in the Faerie
Realm, essentially a turbo-charged sex appeal effect.
Pops offended an elven mage and, per usual, I'm the
one who had to pay the tab. Those guys were surprised,
any mental defenses they might of had were down, so
they just acted like they were faced with their favorite
idol singer or something. Ick. I REALLY got to thank
you for that, I was about to use a Fire Ball just to
get all those hands off me."

	"You've already thanked me several times,
Ranma." Kasumi drew a finger across the lip of her cup.
"It was easier for me to do this than it would have
been for one of my sisters."
---------------------
	People ran out of the way as Ryouga's wereform,
a boar the size of a Volkswagon minibus, charged through
the city streets, a scent having finally reached his
sensitive nose. Now if he could just avoid his curse of
Wandering, he would finally reach his hated foe.

	Oh yeah, if he could also avoid calming down
so that his lycanthropy didn't get overwhelmed by the
Faerie curse.
---------------------
	Nabiki pulled out the artifact. It was the
one absolutely sure way that she could bring the 
triclops out. Getting a VERY long stick, she snuck
downstairs with it.

	Shampoo was sitting at the table with Ranma
and Kasumi, having decided that this would keep the
two from trying anything. Unfortunately, she now
realized that this put her quite within Kasumi's 
projective field.

	Ranma was trying to figure out what was going
on, without much success. Still shaking (more from
nausea than fear) at the thought of what could have
happened on the field, he had been having a nice little
talk with Kasumi when Shampoo pulled up a chair.

	What really puzzled Ranma was the way Kasumi
would pout, immediately followed by Shampoo. Every time
Kasumi reacted to some statement, Shampoo mirrored it.
He couldn't detect a curse, but there was some really
odd enchantment on Kasumi.

	Then there was the appearance of that googly
eyed spider puppet dangling from a string near the
staircase. When had that appeared there? And who was
that looking in the window?
----------------
	Ryouga shifted forms back to human and 
glanced inside. There was Ranma, finally. No mere wall
could keep him from getting his revenge!

	Ryouga ripped the wall apart, smashing his
way through a cabinet and the refrigerator. "VENGEANCE
WILL BE MINE! RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!"

	Kasumi shrieked, turned, and saw the shattered
remains of dinner. Her chocolate layer cake, following
a Western recipe her sister had just downloaded, had
become a spatter against the floor.

	Ranma and Shampoo leapt out of the way as
a section of cabinet was batted by Ryouga into their
table.

	"My...dinner. My favorite teacup..." Kasumi
looked down, the bangs of her hair completely hiding
her face.

	"SHUT UP! You have no idea of what I've been
through thanks to Ranma."

	Nabiki looked around the corner. The fuzzy
spider hadn't worked, but THIS might do it without her
interference.		

	"Do you have any idea how long I worked on 
that cake?" Kasumi's voice had gone to a whisper.

	"I don't CARE about your STUPID cake!"

	Ranma noted two things, martial arts and magery
having made him observant about sudden changes in his
environment. Shampoo suddenly had the sort of expression
one would expect if a live grenade had just been thrown
into her lap. Nabiki was out in the hallway...praying?

	"It was chocolate," whispered Kasumi. A slight
tremor went through her. "Real chocolate, not that
funny tasting Japanese stuff..."

	"Ranma, because of you, I have been to the 
Gates Of Hell!"

	"Aw man, that's a tourist trap if I've ever
seen one," Ranma formed a pattern while speaking.
"Shield." He formed a second pattern and held it 
ready. His eyes tracked a bit of movement and he
noted a battleaura beginning to form around this 
strange man who had just come through the wall. "I'm
really sorry if you ended up there, but what's that
got to do with me?"

	"We were having beef sukiyaki today to
celebrate Ranma's victory," Kasumi whispered. A little
spark of lightning seemed to flash around her right
hand.

	Shampoo decided that the entry to the kitchen
wasn't safe and decided to watch this from across the
street. Say, maybe the street two blocks over. Oddly
enough Nabiki was already there.

	"Enough talk! DIE, RANMA!"

	Kasumi's head came up. A third eye opened in
her forehead. Her canine teeth extended into fangs.
She began to float a few inches off the ground, 
surrounded by an aura of red.

	Ranma, being a mage and therefore able to pick
up on subtle cues that a martial artist might miss, 
strengthened his Shield spell and prepared to use Hide.

	"MIRV," said the Triclops that looked a
bit like Kasumi.
-----------------------------
	Ukyou left the train station, wondering if
she was at the right station. A meteor landed about
ten yards away, plowing through one of those plastic
Colonel Sanders statues before finally coming to rest
in a McDonald's playpen.

	The smell of roast pork brought her close
enough to notice that it was Ryouga. Her eyes widened.
Someone had burned a set of kanji onto his face. It
looked like the word "BAKA."

	Ukyou's thumbs got that prickly sensation,
and she moved away from Ryouga. A woman teleported
in and turned slowly to face the Lost Boy. "YOU.
BROKE. MY. FAVORITE. CUP."

	"Hah?!" Ryouga struggled to get up.

	Ukyou watched a dumpster float overhead without
any apparent support. It took a position directly over
Ryouga and seemed to hang there for just a moment.

	<CLONG!>

	"You RUINED dinner. We're gonna have to eat
Cup Ramen or Akane's cooking, now!"

	<CLONG!> Parts of the dumpster were now coming
off. The playpen looked decidedly worse for the wear.

	"AND WORSE! Do you realize how long it's been
since I've had decent chocolate!"

	<CLONG! CLANG! CRUNCH! CRINCH!><Rattle> The
remains of the dumpster settled into place.

	He attacked her chocolate, Ukyou realized what
the woman was saying. She would have expected such 
behavior from that Mousse guy they'd met coming out of
Faerie, but Ryouga? "That must have been some chocolate."

	Kasumi turned towards the woman.

	Ukyou blanched when she realized she'd spoken
aloud. "Oops."

	"It was a chocolate hazelnut cake using real 
Belgian cocoa and a kahlua-based icing. Damn wereboar."

	Ukyou blinked. She watched as the third eye
in the woman's forehead slowly closed, and the woman
almost fainted. Ukyou was there to catch her. "Damn,
sugar, you exhausted yourself."

	Ryouga groaned under the remains of the 
dumpster.

	"Sugar," Ukyou called out to him. "You just 
stay there and let your lycanthrope healing factor
cut in. I'll take care of this."

	"Must get home," Kasumi mumbled.

	"Well, just give me the directions, honey,
and I'll take you there. Then maybe you can tell me
where I can find someone I'm looking for."
------------------------
	"Oh, don't worry, Ranma." Nabiki shrugged it
off. "Kasumi, even as the Triclops, doesn't kill. It's
still Kasumi, it's just that the regular Kasumi is all
the yang and the Triclops is all the yin. Or do I have
it backwards?"

	"She right. Kasumi not killer."

	"Then why did you two run?" Ranma kept looking
over at the sleeping Kasumi. She looked so vulnerable
and innocent while sleeping, but Ranma remembered the
Triclops.

	"Not kill not same as not hurt." 

	"From what she said, she knew Ryouga was a 
wereboar, so didn't feel the need to hold back." Ukyou
glanced over at the sleeping Kasumi.

	"Don't worry, whenever the Triclops manifests
it pretty much wears her out." Nabiki smirked. It hadn't
worked exactly as planned, but now that Ranma had found 
out about the Triclops, Kasumi would be out of the 
running.

	"Uhm. Oh yeah, Ukyou, I wanted to ask you
something." Ranma sipped on his Cupstar brand ramen.(2)

	"Yes, Ranchan?" Ukyou flushed. Ranma had turned
out to be SO good looking when he'd grown up.

	"Why were you looking for me that you'd tag
along with Ryouga. That's a pretty desperate thing to
do."

	"Why? Hell, I'd follow my fiance anywhere!"
Ukyou winced as she remembered the visit to the Gates
Of Hell. She would have been far more comfortable to
have kept thinking of it merely as a place with horned
red-skinned deformed pan knockoffs with pitchforks than
to have actually seen the place. The Gift Shop and
"Hell's Kitchen III" had been particularly unnerving.

	"FIANCE?!" Ranma looked at Ukyou. Everyone 
else (except the sleeping Kasumi) immediately
realized what this meant. (Having been coached by 
Nabiki on what she'd found out about this.) 
"MISTER SAOTOME!"

	Akane materialized Mjolnir, Shampoo built up
battle aura, Nabiki started making entries in her 
journal, Ranma cracked his knuckles.

	Genma, in panda form, wisely decided to take
a short training journey.

------------------------
	Cologne considered ways that she could 
manipulate the situation to her benefit. 
========================
NEXT TIME ON RANMA 1/2: The Art (6) A Tale Of Mousse
  And Squirrel
	a word on the spells here since there has been
questions made regarding them. This is the same system
that i came up with for Tetsuo in Happi Days, BTW.
	This magic system is loosely based on some
purely mythical Chinese Sorcery stories. He forms a
pattern woven from one of the six Chinese Elements 
(Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit, Wood) with
his chi (which provides the "kick" to get the motor of
the spell running). He is a generalist mage, as his 
school of magic is "Anything Goes" or whatever works.
Therefore he isn't as good as a specialist but has a 
wider range of spells that he can access.

	CHI BOLT: (high chi) similar to the "Ha do ken",
"Kamehaha", or any number of similar effects. Forms a
sphere of chi which delivers a considerable kinetic
impact, roughly equal to being slammed by a charging
bull but without the horns. Ranma can only do this
three times before tiring, while Tetsuo would pass out
after casting this once. 

	FIRE BALL: (medium) an explosive ball of flame.
Amount of damage can be increased by feeding it more
chi prior to release. Essentially a grenade spell.

	FLAME FIST: (medium) causes one's hands to be
enveloped by fire. Said flames can then be thrown in
a manner similar to a fireball. Does not burn the caster.

	HEALING SLEEP: (medium) causes a healing sleep
where healing (mental and physical) is accelerated. Can
be resisted by those with mind shields or a strong will.

	HIDE: (low chi) general use cloaking spell,
makes the target (usually the caster) hard to notice.
Not invisible/inaudible, but unless the target does
something to call attention to his/herself the effect
is generally the same.

	ICE HAWK: (medium chi) spirit magic spell
incorporated by Ranma into the Anything Goes style.
A bird of white mist that freezes the target when it
strikes. Can be used on a low level to cool drinks.

	LEAP: (low) temporarily decreases gravity
for target to 1/8 normal. lasts for three seconds.

	LIGHTNING FLARE: (high) throws a lightning
bolt.

	LIGHTNING GRIP: (low) rather like hitting
someone with a taser.

	MIRV: (extremely high chi) a very high level
spell that causes massive property devaluation. Think
"tactical nuclear weapon."

	MOSTLY HARMLESS: (high) slams target's pleasure
centers, stimulates endorphins, and otherwise makes the
target feel good and upbeat for five minutes or so. 
Can be addictive.

	QUICK FIX: (medium) a spell that will fix 
small rents, tears, breaks, by taking two things that
were once part of a whole and making them whole again.
Ranma gets a LOT of practice with this spell.

	SHIELD: (varies in chi required) general use
protection spell. like a Star Trek deflector, it doesn't
stop anything, just absorbs most of the damage. More
chi can be fed into the Shield to increase the amount
of protection. It can also be used to form a "wall"
instead of the default "armor".