Three unknown characters from the depths of Erin's imagination...

One story that has yet to be MSTed...

Adds up to...

Double E MST (crappy title, I know)

Starring...

Tim Ramsey
   Tall, 6'1" black man, with low flattop, no facial hair,
   preppy clothes.  In late 20s.  Generally happy-go-lucky.
   Actually has been paying attention to the story.  Likes
   to sing (to others' chagrin).  Master of Obscure references.

Jack McGovern
   An army major. Rough but friendly, quasi-conservative
   (more of a Good-Old-Boy), early 30s, blond unkempt
   caucasian chain smoker.  Pervert (in remarks, not 
   necessarily actions) Enjoys annoying Lisa.

Lisa Arnez
   5'7" Latino woman with short dark brown hair and eyes.
   Skilled martial artist.  Somewhat feminist.  Jack really
   annoys her.  Early 20s/late teens.  More of a grammar 
   stickler than the others.  Plays straight man.

-------------------

J: All right... That was one cheap-ass introduction... I guess we'll 
just get started...

------------------------------------
Forgotten Future, Forbidden Past
Chapter Six
[Insert std. Sailormoon disclaimers, 
Takeuchi-san is kewl, etc.]
------------------------------------

      The tension in the dark room was so thick you could cut it with a 
knife. The white-haired woman, however, leaned easily against the 
doorframe, small, imperious, smirk on her face. She seemed oblivious to 
the crazed, anger-filled stare from the young woman before her, and 
nodded lazily to the elaborate tank at the rear of the room. "Mizuno 
looks much better that way... don't you think?" 

J: Personally, I thought she looked better that time when they were all 
dressed in those short little sailor suits, and she got blasted so all 
her clothes were ripped apart, and--
T: Shut up!  Not about Ami!
L: Mizu...Water... in a tank... Makes sense to me.
T: Dammit Lisa!  How could they have done this? *sob*

     "You... you bitch..." Daburu choked out, fists clenched. Minako 
remained silent next to her, eyes closed.

      Faustine laughed lightly. "What an impertinent thing you are." She 
straightened, eyes dancing playfully. "You're just like your mother. 

T: [singing] Some say I'm just like my mother... she's never 
satisfied... *snif*  No... it's too sad.. even for Prince... oh, Ami... 
*sob*

Too bad..." Dark energy crackled around her fingertips as she raised 
them.  "I'll have to take care of you like I did her..."

      Minako moved then, shoving Daburu out of the way as a stream of 
black light cut across the room, evaporating when it failed to connect.  
Minako dug her finger's into Daburu's arm. 

J: Her finger's what?
L: She meant 'her fingers'.  
T: *sob*
J: This is getting embarassing.

      "Don't get yourself killed," she whispered raggedly. "She's 
strong, but she doesn't--"

      "Enough!" Faustine's impatient call came far closer than Minako
expected. "We won't fight in here... Our dear "Ami" is too precious..." 

      Daburu felt a roaring in her ears. She struggled to cry out, but 
she felt disembodied somehow, no longer in the correct place. The cold 
feeling of the floor against her cheek finally snapped her back into 
full consciousness. Her eyes shot open.

      They were in the sub-basement. The walls were gray, undecorated, 
and laced with jagged cracks. Daburu swallowed, the air feeling 
unaccustomly stale. 

L: 'unnaccustomly'?  Is that a way air can feel?  Is that even a word?
T: You're so critical.  However, this does sound a little funny.
J: When did you decide to quit crying over Ami?
T: Well, I figured it had already happened, I'd better live with it.
L: [muttering] Hell, she's already been in the jar for what, two? Three 
chapters now?

      "Venus--" The beginning of the attack died on the already standing 
Minako's lips as she was hurled backwards with a wave of Faustine's 
hand.

      "Minako!" Daburu cried, enraged. She sprang to her feet, arm 
already outraised, gray eyes blazing. "Neo-Moon Star Power, Make-up!"

T: [singing] She gets to burning!  Da da dada da da da da da da, dada 
   da da da...
J: Tim, what just possessed you to sing?
T: What, you've never seen Nadesico? [sings] 'You get to burning!'
   ... Actually, 'Blazing Transfer Student' music would be better, but
   I don't remember it.
L: Please be quiet.

      The space around her exploded in a burst of blue and red light. 
Ribbons snaked around her body, sprouting out in a bow at her chest, and 
continuing to cover her with the white and blue-skirted fuku of the 
Moon. Beams of lights encircled her fingers, becoming crimson gloves 
topped with the lunar symbol of Serenity. Boots slid over her legs, as a 
silver-coated tiara erected itself on her forehead. 

J: Ooh baby.  I'm glad that wasn't the American transformation sequence.
T: ...
L: Can a tiara be erected? [Looks at Jack] On second thought, don't 
   answer that.

      As the red and blue aura faded, she was dropped neatly to the 
ground, a snarl marring her elven-like features. 

J: What, she has pointy ears and large feet?
L: She's good at making shoes.
T: And cookies.  ...Hey! I'm supposed to stop this Moon-Slander!  You 
   tricked me!

"I won't forgive you for this.... Neo-Moon..." 

      Silvery lines of power gathered around her clasped gloves as she 
she raised them in the air, almost in slow motion. The energy expanded, 
crystallizing, and taking the shape of a many pointed star. The center 
began to glow with a dim lavender light.

L: How many points?

      "...Kappa Maelstrom!"

J: Here would be the place to say humorous things about Greek letters. 
   However, my knowledge of the Greek alphabet ends at beta.  Oh well.

      The crystal spikes coalesced with the now humming lavender light, 
filling the entire dank basement with its brightness. It illuminated 
Daburu's determined eyes for just a moment... then as she brought her 
arms down in a swift chopping motion, it was launched across the empty 
space between her and Faustine.

L: The spikes are points in the star, right?  How many points?  I wanna 
know!

      The white-haired woman raised an eyebrow. "Impressive," she 
uttered, just as the lavender-white ball shattered into a million pieces 
in front of her. She smirked. "But not impressive enough." 

J: Your answer: 0.  She won't be going to the finals, folks. [Announcer
   voice] Seems Daburu, the hometown hero, couldn't match up against 
   the evil sorceress, Faustine, and will be returning home in defeat.
T: [Color commentator] You KNOW she's gotta be feeling the pressure.  
   It's gotta hurt, having made it so far just to lose now.
J: [Announcer] Maybe this will give her the boost to train for next
   season.
L: Bleah.  Sports.  Who needs 'em?

      Neo-Moon turned pale. Minako, who had struggled up from the 
ground, pushed Daburu behind her protectively. 

      "Faustine.." she hissed, clutching a wounded arm. "Leave her 
alone."

      "Oh.." Faustine laughed again. "I will.. in one sense, or 
another." 

L: Hee hee... Daburu's gonna get snuck...
T: Don't you like ANYONE in this story?
L: Um...

      Daburu shoved Minako out of the way, and lept at Faustine. The 
strike

J: Lots of pushing and shoving in this story. And now she 'lept' at 
   Faustine?
L: No, I think she 'leapt' at Faustine.
T: You know, Faust made a deal with the devil so he could get sex?
J, L: [boggle]
T: It's true...

was so sudden that even Faustine was surprised, and dodged it too 
slowly. A long streak of blood appeared across her perfect features. 
Neo-Moon turned to make another attack, but Faustine grasped her neck, 
eyes blazing in anger. 

T: More people get to burning...
L: [ignores him] Whose neck is grasped? Faustine's? Or Daburu's?

She threw her to the side suddenly, and smiled icily as she rubbed the 
blood off her face. 

L: [Faustine] HAH!! Take THAT!!
J, T: [confused] What?
L: Oh.. I thought that said 'as she rubbed the blood IN her face'.  That 
would've been cooler, IMHO.
T: You scare me.

   A breeze began to blow. Faustine's cloak wavered around her as her 
eyes turned inky black. 

T: Sephiroth!
J, L: [give dirty look]

Minako sent a wild-eyed look at Daburu. 

      "Daburu, I..."

L: [Minako] ... didn't mean for this to happen... That wasn't your mom..
   I guess you're going to die for nothing.  Who knew?
T: [Minako] ... really could go for a pizza right about now...
J: [Minako] ... think you look really sexy in that fuku...
T: JACK!!
J: [shrugs] Come on!  This story's so _boring_... I needed _something_
   to spice it up...

      Faustine's arms shot out suddenly. Daburu didn't even get a chance 
to cry out as wave upon wave of psionic energy hit her. The last thing 
she heard before unconsciousness claimed her was "Star.." screamed by 
the triumphant Faustine...

T: Gee, I didn't know she liked Prince.
J,L: [boggle]
T: [singing] Baby, I'm a... STAR!!!!!
J,L: [sweatdrop]

---------------------------------------------

      "HA!" Iroiro grinned as she surveyed the odd scene around her. "It 
worked!"

      Two gray and white fuku-clad Senshi, a burly man, and a dog in 
half-leap stood completely motionless around Iroiro and Shinju. As 
Iroiro snickered incessantly, and poked all of the frozen figures, 
Shinju blinked.

T: 'Now STOP!  Hammer Time!'
J: *groan*
L: I dunno... this sentence seems kinda long.  But I don't think 
anything
   is technically wrong with it.  It's just a feeling I get.
T: Woman's intuition?
J: Annoying pickiness.

      And blinked again.

      "Eh?" She looked over at him, finally noticing his awestruck 
expression.  "Shinju? You... ok?" She waved a hand in front of his face.

J: [Shinju] Well, let's see... I was kidnapped, shot at, impaled, and
   now I'm 'it' in a game of freeze tag.  Sure, I'm fine!

      "I.. suppose so," he croaked out. He was feeling dizzy all of a 
sudden, and wondered 

L: If all that running in circles might be a cause.

dismally if Iroiro would consider it rude if he just sat down for
a moment...

      "Shinju!" She rushed to his side as he collapsed, clutching his 
back, and grimacing slightly. 

L: I don't think you need a comma between 'back' and 'and'.
J: But, she could be wrong.

"Oh.. wound's worse that I expected." She winced.

L: Or 'than' she expected.
T: The man was impaled on a giant ice thing, and wasn't he shot in the
   shoulder or something?  How healthy is he supposed to be?

"Sorry, I'm not the most collected of people. Should've told me..." she 
trailed off, eyes concerned. 

L: ... but mind not giving a crap.
T: .. ARRGH!! SHE WAS THERE!!! SHE SAW HIM GET HURT!!! HOW COULD SHE
   FORGET?!?!?!?!?!
J: Calm down, Tim.  Don't make us sedate you.

      "Concerned about losing me, or the help you wanted me to give?" He 
sighed. 

J: Touch�.

      Iroiro gave him a disappointed expression. "Don't be silly, 
Shinju-kun. I lo-- I mean," she corrected herself furiously, small 
expression of pain flitting across her eyes, "I don't want anything to 
happen to you." 

L: Well well well... what would Makoto say?
T: Oh yeah... he and Mako-chan are... shall we say...
J: Dancing the Horizontal Mambo?
T: I wouldn't've said it in so many words...

She stood up slowly, allowing him to use her shoulder for support. "The 
effects of the time capsule won't last long, we better get moving."

L: Or 'we'd better'.
J: Or keep it as it is... for people who don't speak as proper as Miss
   Emily Post here...
L: [sticks out tongue at him]

      "'Time capsule'?" Shinju said wearily. "What did you do to them?"

T: So THAT's that thing she threw last time...
L: You remember back that far?
T: Geez, you have NO attention span.

      "Oh.." She waved her hand nonchalantly. "It's not a big deal. It's 
a time-altering device I cooked up in the 20th century. It displaces and 
freezes everything within a one-mile radius."

L: If it's displaced, where's all the stuff go?
T: Besides, that would be altering space, not time.

      "Then what about us..?"

     "I locked in our patterns as untouchable. Anyone else who's 
misfortunate 

L: Unfortunate?

enough to step into the altered space, however," she frowned, "don't 
think something good'll happen."

J: No 'think lovely thoughts'?
T: It's okay, they don't need to fly.
L: Guys, that was really lame.

      Shinju stayed silent as she half-dragged him around the corner, 
and into an abandoned alleyway. 

L: You don't need the 'and' here.

There she gently pushed him against the wall, and 

J: It's about damned time!
T: [guardedly] What?
J: This is the lemon scene, right?
T: Sorry Charlie, there's no lemon today.
J: But... but... read the line!  It's practically begging for a lemon 
   to follow!  [dejected] You hate me Ice, don't you.
L: Joining a growing list of people...
J: [gives her evil look]

stood back, looking rather sheepish. 

       "Alot of stuff got.. mixed up in my head over time. I'm not 
exactly

L: 'A lot'

where I'm supposed to be," she sent him a helpless glance, as if she 
didn't know how to explain. "A... woman from my world meddled in your 
past events, causing a colliding of sorts... that's how I got here, I 
guess."

T: Hmm... Can you say... Faustine?  I thought so.

      "What woman?" Shinju rubbed his shoulder absentmindedly, thinking 
of Makoto.

J: [sulkily] See.  He was expecting a lemon scene too.

      "Um... your leader," she mumbled. "I don't know if I can tell 
you... Look, your Pluto has to be found... she was trapped in the Time 
Gate, I think. But we have to retrieve the time staff... one of your 
Senshi has it. We have

J: ['Iroiro'] Damn criminal Senshi.. can't keep their grubby hands off
   my stuff...
L: Should 'Time Staff' be capitalized?

to work quickly... before the prophecy comes true."

      "What prophecy?" Shinju asked, now utterly baffled.

      "The woman has a companion on this planet, a replica of her, so to

J: Clones!
T: Copy Men!
L: Ai ya...
T: [innocent] I didn't know you were Chinese.

speak. One that is destined to turn out exactly like her... she planned 
it this way. And when that comes to pass... all hell will break 
loose..."
---------------------------------------------

      The man had put on a new dress uniform, crisp and clean, giving no 
indication of the fear he had witnessed not long before. He liked it 
that way.

T: No no no.  He didn't 'witness' the fear, he FELT the fear!!  He was
   bawling-wimpy-Shinji scared!  (This IS Umino, right?)
L: Don't talk that way about Shinji!  He's so cute...
T, J: [facefault]

Let them think he was infallible... incapable of feeling fright. He 
needed that boost... they made fun of him incessantly, anyway...

J: You. Are. A. Nerd.  Live with it.

      He wiped a sweaty brow as his fingers fumbled to jerk the lock 
open. It finally gave way with a eerily resounding click, and he pulled 
back the door. He adjusted his glasses, at the same time wrinkling his 
nose as an oddly familiar smell hit him. 

T: Old biology experiments?
L: Used gym socks?
J: Stolen used underwear?
T: JACK!!
J: [Shrugs]
L: [Socks him.  Hard.]

      He hesitantly proceeded further into the room, running his fingers 
against the wall for a lightswitch. He did so hate the medieval-like 
qualities of the sub-basements. Imagine, having to turn on lights 
manually like in the 20th century..?

L: Thirty years later and he can't use a lightswitch?  Damn, he's
   spoiled.

      It took a few moments for his eyes to become adjusted to the 
light. A few moments for his brain to actually process the scene before 
him. He silently gaped when his vision fully cleared, mouth twitching 
somewhat oddly.

J: As opposed to the normal mouth twitch.
L: You're conscious already? I must be getting soft.

      It was a Senshi, that was evident by the sailor-like uniform, 
short skirt and all. Thick blue hair framed her face pleasantly, giving 
her almost an ethereal look at first glance. And she clutched something 
in her hand.....

J: Now do we get the lemon?
L: [shakes fist threateningly]

      There was someone else. Long blonde hair... mark on her forehead. 
So familiar... She was sprawled beneath the Senshi, something protruding 
from her chest....

J: NOW do we get the lemon?
L: [growls] ... all right Lisa, deep breaths... one, two...
   What kind of mark on her forehead?

      A knife. The Senshi clutched a knife in her strong, determined 
hand, a knife that was lodged securely in the blonde's chest. 

J: Hmm... I'd like to get my 'strong, determined hands' near a blonde's 
chest...
L: That's IT! [leaps up, tackles him.  Fight ensues.  Tim edges away.]

Red streaked the victim's dress, soaking it's fine silk texture....

      The man adjusted his glasses. "Well. Have to report this to 
A.M.I....." He walked out, mumbling, without another glance in the 
direction of the stone-cold room.

T: So, wait.  I'm supposed to believe that anonymous Senshi hang out in 
Umino's basement and kill people and his only reaction is to go tell 
Ami-HAL?
J, L: YES! [resume fighting]
T: [daunted] oh.  o-Okay.

      Somewhere high within the palace walls, a cold, triumphant laugh 
rang out... a laugh that would even chill the dead..

L: The Faustine-clone?
T: Kefka?
J: The Joker?
T: Oh, when did you stop fighting?
L: We didn't think it'd be a good idea to let you riff all by yourself.
J: Who would stop you from singing?
T: [frown]
---------------------------------------------

      Neo-Mars and Venus stood at attention, hands clasped tighly behind 
their backs, making an impressive sight... if it hadn't been for their 
eyes. Mars's

T: 'Making'.. then 'hadn't'... You have different tenses here.  Pick
   one. (I like the subjunctive .. 'it would've made an impressive...')
L: Hmm.. I don't think you need the 's... just s'  Does this make sense? 
I mean, " Mars' " instead of " Mars's ".  As someone whose last name 
ends with an S, I know.
J: Your name ends with a Z.
L: Can't you tell an author personification when you see one?

were red-rimmed, as if she'd been crying, and refused to look up, while 
Venus blinked rapidly, as if fighting off tears herself. It had taken 
all of their courage just to come up here...

      "What can I do for you, ladies?" Rei Hino asked icily from the 
chair she had draped herself upon. 

T: Wouldn't that be painful?  Or at least difficult?
L: Go back to singing, Tim.

      "G-general Mars.." Venus finally got out, swallowing nervously, 
"We're.. concerned about our fellow.." She seemed to be struggling for 
the right words, and Rei looked at her curiously.

      "Spit it out, Amaryllis, I haven't got all day," Rei said calmly. 
"Who are you concerned about?"

      "The other Neo-Senshi," Neo-Mars responded meekly, her eyes 
becoming slightly mixed with that awe she had always felt in General 
Hino's presence.

J: Mix two eyes with awe, add one egg, bake for 20 minutes at 350 
degrees.
L: I don't think you need to 'had always felt'... just 'always felt'
   should be fine.

"We.. we haven't had any contact from them in awhile."

      "Is that so, Odori?" 

J: Heh.  A name like that, she must've been teased as a child.
T: That's a low blow, making fun of someone's name.
J: What do you care?  Tim is a normal name.  It's not as if your name
   were Francis, or Kelly, or Ashley...
T: *stab*
J: What... your name really is... Ashley?!  BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!
L: There's nothing wrong with Ashley as a boy's name.  I think it's 
   kinda cute.
T: [quiet] ... i was supposed to be a girl...
J: BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!

Rei frowned, looking genuinely troubled. "Neo-Moon.."

      "We haven't heard from her, either, ma'am," Venus said hesitantly. 
"That's why we thought we should come to you..."

      Rei nodded. "Yes, yes, all good and well. Have you tapped into the 
database... well, of course you haven't," she said with some irritation 
upon seeing their confused faces. "On the wall." She gestured to a small 
pad. "Type in your clearance code, and request data on the whereabouts 
of the Neo- Senshi." 

T: [Picard] Computah!  What is the location of Commandah Raikah?
J: [Computer] Commander Riker is in the holodeck, putting the moves on
   several holographic women.
L: Ahem.

      Amaryllis complied, and slowly punched her access code and 
commands in. A loud screech could be heard, followed by a feminine 
voice. Rei drummed her fingers against the edge of her chair 
impatiently.

T: [HAL] Hello Dave.

      "I greet you, Sailor Neo-Venus. The information you requested is 
as follows... One moment please." 

      The pad emitted a merry little tune, 

T: [HAL] o/~ Da-isy, da--isy...  o/~
L: Stop it, you're scaring me!
J: o/~ It's a small world, after all... o/~
L: AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

until the voice came back online.  Neo-Venus looked up eagerly.

      "Location of Sailor Neo-Mercury: Unknown. Location of Sailor 
Neo-Mars: Elder Mars's quarters, west wing, level 7. Location of Sailor 
Neo-Jupiter: ...... Classified Information. Please retry with a higher 
code."

T: Which one was Neo-Mercury again?  What was she up to?
J: [amazed] You mean you don't know?
L: If you don't know, we certainly don't.

      Rei sighed loudly. "Computer, location of Sailor Neo-Moon?"

      The pad remained silent.

      "Computer.. clearance level MarsGK1729," she said forcefully, 
obviously annoyed. "Location of Sailor Neo-Moon!"

      "Complied, Elder Mars. One moment..."

      The pad suddenly emitted a short screeching sound. "Location of 
Sailor Neo-Moon: Currently Unknown. Considered highly dangerous. Wanted 
for Murder of Elder Senshi Venus... Assault of a High Official..."

T, J, L: Ooooh...

      The silence in the room was unending.

J: It probably ended _sometime_.
T, L: [Ignore him]
----------------------------------------

Author's Notes: No.. don't make fun of Neo-Moon's attack...^_- Um.. 
maybe it'll morph into an attack with lil' Kappa the Imps running 
around... err.. maybe not. 

J: Kappa Imps, Kappa letters... who knew?

Anyway.. isn't Faustine just EVIL? Setting up Daburu like that.. 
::shakes her head:: Well, you might be surprised how Rei's going to 
respond to this..interesting little fiasco... 

T: Well, she'll probably just do what Commander Ikari orders...
L: [hits him]
T: Sorry, wrong Rei...

Hm.. uh... well.. I'm going now. ;)

J: Us too.  [Leaves]
L: If I had known it would be so easy to get rid of him... 
T: Goodbye!

---------------

Gee.. that took a lot longer than I'd planned...  Should I ever do this 
again?  Or should I wait until after my Giant Robo/Eva talkshow-fic? 
(aka Never, at this rate)

Well, time for work.

Erin


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