You know, as a concept, this isn't bad. It suffers somewhat from being a 
self-insert (and I can say that because all *I* write are self-inserts), but 
the idea behind it is unique, and well done. It reminds me of Youma Blues in 
that respect. An SI where the inserted character isn't a (necessarily) good 
guy with a white hat, a gleaming suit of armor, and an itch to set all 
wrongs right in 15 minutes or less.

	The idea of ending up as one of Ranma's fiancee's is sneaky, and one thing 
few SI writers ever cover is the risk of becoming emotionally involved in 
the lives of the Tendo's and the Saotome's. And it IS a risk, mind you.. 
most SI authors simply sweep in, fix everything, and sweep out. Thought is 
rarely given to the possibility that you might begin to CARE about these 
people, as people. And as friends.

	The touch of Ranma actually falling for someone because they _didn't_ try 
to push, shove and force their way into his life is nice, too. It's been 
used before, but not often enough, I think. Being the sort of person that 
Ranma is, having lived most of his life on the road, caring tenderness and 
understanding acceptance would be the one thing he wouldn't have much 
experience with. He's used to life being a confrontation. A friend who 
doesn't view him as a prize to be won.. that's something new in his
experience.

	Cat? I recommend a little clean-up work.. perhaps asking better authors 
than I where you can correct the first two paragraphs of this (the beginning 
_was_ a little abrupt), and then submitting it to RAAC. It's got potential. 
With a touch more work, you could have a winning story here. 

	I know I enjoyed it.

	Best of luck, and I hope to see this on RAAC soon.

	Ed Becerra


	"Dreamers may die, but the Dream is eternal.."