Hello. Well, I've decided to write some more on my little fic here. I
reposted the rest since it's been about 4 months since my last post. I
welcome any comments on any of the 5 parts here, so if you read it I'd
appreciate some input.
Anyhow, Tenchi Muyo! Is released in the United States by Pioneer, so I
guess it belongs to them. I'm using all the characters, which do not
belong to me, without any permission whatsoever, so...PLEASE DON'T SUE
ME!
Some untitled Tenchi Fic
By: John Harding
MIDP@Rocketmail.com
Part 1:
It was a beautiful Day in June. Seventy degrees, not too windy, no
rain. I was driving home from my favorite anime-supplying comic store,
windows down, 103.5 FM on the radio, and not a care in the world, except
getting to my room so I could throw the latest Ranma � tape in the ol�
VCR. I really wouldn�t have cared when I got home, but work started in
two hours and I wanted to watch the tape before I had to run to work.
That was when all my troubles started.
The express lanes are fun. You can speed and speed and speed, and no
matter how fast you go, there�s someone going faster. Thus, no speeding
tickets. Yeah right. Anyway, I was going a leisurely 75, arm out the
window darkening my truck driver�s tan, listening to the local radio
personality ramble on about the latest contest when it happened. I saw
what looked like lightning strike further up the road. This was
confusing, especially since there wasn�t a cloud in the sky. I
dismissed it as a reflection or something and continued on my way. As I
continued neared my exit off the expressway, I noticed that the
lightning was growing more concentrated, and in a small area.
<That is not lightning,> I thought to myself. [Note that John is
prone to understatement] Stupidly, I continued to watch the portable
lightning storm, but did not move out of the way. This was the critical
error on my fault. If I had just changed lanes, NOTHING would have
happened. But NOOOO! I kept on driving, stupid smile on my face,
thinking "oooooo pre�tty." Man am I stupid. Well, the lightning
reached terminal velocity, and turned into a portal. FINALLY, it
registered in my slow 386SX mind�
<This is bad.> Well needless to say, it was just a leeeetle too late
to avoid it at this point. Brakes screeching, frantically trying to
steer out of the way (for dramatic build up), I careened sideways into
the portal. Funny thing was, when I exited the portal, I was headed
perfectly straight�hmmm. Perfectly straight, and falling down.
"AAAAAAAAAAA�," I was screaming bloody murder. <Down? Wait a minute
here�> The distraction of thought out of the way, I continued screaming
bloody murder. "AHHHHHHHHHH" Then, with the resounding splash, and a
neck jarring (man, it took forever to get that kink out of my neck)
stop, my journey ended. After about ten minutes of blinking, it finally
dawned on me that I had stopped. Then my mind started working again.
<Splash? Now wait a minute here! What the hell is going on here?!>
[Note John�s mind�s tendency to go off on strange tangents.] After a
minute of pondering the strangeness of the situation, I finally decided
to have a look around.
<Why are there five women standing around my truck with looks of
mortal terror on their faces? And�um�why are they naked?> Then I felt
something wet on my foot. I looked down, and to my utter dismay, my
door was leaking water. <Oh now, this is interesting,> I thought. Then
something more urgent came to mind. Something like, <YOUR TRUCK
IS FILLING UP WITH WATER YOU DOLT!!! GET OUT!!!> I reached for the
door handle and attempted to push the door open. The water, which was
deep enough to reach a full half way up the door (Hey, it�s a truck. I
have a good amount of ground clearance), came rushing in as I tried to
open it, and drenched my legs pretty well. It also managed to fill up
the foot well. I decided that this was the time to exit my vehicle, so
I stepped out. The girls, who had been in a stunned stupor up until
now, noticed that I was, indeed, a guy. This they did not like very
much. They all screamed and went running for towels, or cover, or
whatever. All except for one. A really nice looking young woman with
light, blue-green hair. She just sort of moseyed on up to me, eyed me
over a bit, and with a perfectly straight face, asked me something. In
Japanese.
I was petrified. You see, I don�t speak a lot of Japanese. Not much at
all, as a matter of fact. While I was trying to think of how to respond
to this, three other men appeared at the door wondering what all the
raucous was about, and were immediately bombarded with various bathing
implements. Well, I was still somewhat stunned by all that had just
happened, and my wonderful brain found the sight of those poor guys
getting pelted with stuff more interesting than the mini-interrogation
at hand. The woman in front of me was not pleased. She grabbed me by
the shirt, lifted me off of the ground, and asked me another, more
hostile question. I still couldn�t understand, and now I was getting
nervous. Hell, I was downright terrified.
"Well, I�that is�um�" I stammered, not having the slightest clue how
to respond. And better yet, I now had something else more interesting
to focus on. Her breasts. Wonderful. Now I was a moron, and a pervert
too. The woman noticed my wandering eyes, shouted what I think was a
curse, hurled me back into my truck (I ended up in the passenger side
footwell). She then proceeded to kick me AND my truck all the way
across the bath, with one foot.
<Daaaaamn�> I thought. That was the last thing I thought before the
lights went out.
END PART 1
Part 2:
That was the last thing I remembered. She kicked me all the way
across the bath. And that�s what I dreamed about while I was
unconscious for the next few hours. Finally I awoke. At first, I
though it had all been a bad dream, and that the pounding headache and
touchy stomach I was experiencing was the result of alcohol consumption
the night before. Luckily for me I was wrong. I was really wrong. As
a matter of fact, I was even more wrong than Dan Quale�s spelling of
potato. This was unbeknownst to me, however. I looked around,
surveying my surroundings, and taking note that I was not in my bedroom,
or in my house for that matter. Again, my skill for not quite grasping
the magnitude of the situation struck.
<This is not my room. Not my house, not my floor, not my�>
"Konbanwa," said a voice.
"Hello," I replied, still in lala land. It took a minute for the
voice to register as actually being there. Once that fact got through
customs, however, boy I was right on top of things. I turned my head.
Kneeling next to me, looking down was this girl, about 12. Here I was,
in a strange room, on a makeshift bed, with a complete stranger hovering
over me, and guess what I was thinking�
<She has blue hair�humerous�hehehe�> Great start, John. Anything
else? <Nope> Ok. Well, it was about then that I began to speak.
"W-where am I?" I stammered. She said something else, but I couldn�t
understand it. After a moment of intense confusion, I realized that the
girl was speaking Japanese. I didn�t speak much Japanese. I did manage
to pick out that her name was Sasami, but that was about it. So much
for two semesters of college Japanese courses. Just then, a rather
attractive-looking blonde woman burst into the room shouting something I
just could not make out. She and the Sasami girl exchanged words, and
they both ran out of the room, leaving me all alone and completely
clue-less.
A few minutes passed, and I pulled myself off the floor, noting the
really funny spinning my head was doing. It was only funny for a
moment, then I fell down. "Ugh�I should really stop getting smashed
like that. One of these days I�m gonna fall and die or something," I
muttered to myself. [Another strange tangent brought to you by John]
So I was laying on the floor complaining about it when Sasami returned.
With others. Great. Here I am laying down, talking to the floor when
five of the most gorgeous women I�ve ever seen come waltzing into the
room and see me. That was rather embarrassing. Making it worse was the
fact that these were the same five women I "dropped in on" before.
[Note that John is prone to using bad puns and clich�s.] I quickly rose
off the floor and faced them. I also noticed three men standing by the
door.
<Hey, wait a minute�I thought that was a dream!> I thought to myself,
<Great. Just great. I ain�t in Kansas anymore.> No, I don�t�er�didn�t
live in Kansas. I lived in Illinois. That was another clich�. While I
was in my reverie, all five of the women (this includes Sasami) started
nailing me with questions. All in Japanese. I didn�t understand a
one. <Oh this is nice. And they�re getting agitated too,> I thought
to myself. Finally, one of the women, a short, girlish one with magenta
colored hair silenced the others and spoke up.
"You don�t speak much Japanese, do you?"
"Uh, no. Hey, you�re speaking English!"
"Of course I�m speaking English! You didn�t expect the number one
genius scientist in the universe to be monolingual did you?"
"Universe? Number one genius scientist in the Universe? How do you
know?"
"I�ve been all over the universe and nobody is as smart as me!"
"Gee, you don�t say�" I said to myself, "Great. The one that speaks
English, and she�s a loony."
"I am not. You are so clueless. None of us are from this planet
Einstein."
"Say what?!" I belted out. Now I was thoroughly confused with this
situation. One of us was crazy. Maybe it was me, but I really thought
my thought process was more plausible than hers.
"Well, I guess it would take an Earthling a while to comprehend that."
"Maybe so."
"Here. Take this."
"Why?"
"It�ll help you speak Japanese."
"How is this pill going to teach me Japanese?"
"Just swallow it. I haven�t all day."
"Ok, ok!" I said defensively. I brought the pill up, looked at it
for a minute, then popped it in my mouth and swallowed. I�m cool like
that. I can swallow almost any pill without anything to drink. People
say that can screw up your stomach, but, well, whatever. So I swallowed
the pill, and instantly, the conversation between the girls in the
background was understandable. I could actually comprehend what they
were saying!
"Hey�it worked!"
"Of course it did!"
"B-but�it�s a miracle!"
"Maybe to you. But it�s all to easy for the number one genius in the
universe to
create something like that. Ooooh I�m so smart!"
<You know, maybe this �not from your planet� thing has some truth to it
after all,>
I thought to myself. Then the weight of this revelation hit me, and so
did everything else that had happened that day. Once again, I was
floored.
END OF PART 2
Part 3:
After a few minutes, I finally came to. I was not alone. All eight
of them were still in the room. I soon found out that I was wet. <So
that�s how they woke me up huh�> And lo-and-behold, there was the
light blue-green haired woman holding the tell-tale bucket.
"Ryoko, that wasn�t very nice!" said the youngest of the men.
"Hey, he deserved it," she retorted. Then, holding up another bucket,
smiling mirthfully, she said to me, "Now get up before I splash you
again."
"Yes ma�am." I said, pulling myself off the floor. No sooner had I
straightened out my clothes (as best as I could, considering that they
were wet), then all of the women crowded around me asking questions.
Unfortunately for me, I could understand them this time. I held out my
hands and gestured for them to SHUT THE HELL UP. "Please, one at a
time?"
"You shouldn�t badger our guest like that," said the young man.
"Guest? He�s no guest. He just dropped in out of the blue!" whined
Ryoko.
"Actually, it�s no fault of his own," said the magenta-haired woman,
"That was a naturally occurring dimensional portal. And none of the
primitive ground vehicles from this planet could have stopped in time to
avoid it. It was a piece of crap too."
"Naturally occurring dimensional portal?" asked another women, one
with dark green hair.
"Yea," I interjected, trying to sound smart, "since when do
dimensional portals occur naturally?" The two facefaulted.
"What do you know about dimensional portals?" asked the genius
scientist.
"Absolutely nothing," I replied, putting on my best �cute� face.
Everyone who had been listening to the exchange bigsweated.
The woman with the dark green hair seemed to take my little antic a
little harder than the rest. She slouched a little, closed her eyes,
and muttered something about "Mihoshi." I�d later find out exactly what
she meant.
"Anyway," said the genius scientist, "You flew through a spontaneous
rift that formed between our two dimensions and ended up here."
"Do tell," I replied, trying to sound interested.
"Yes," she continued, "I don�t know why the portal formed, but you
traveled through it and landed here."
"Very cool and all, but how do I get back to my dimension?"
"You don�t."
"WHAAAAAT?!"
"Well you see, there are a nearly infinite number of parallel
dimensions in the multiverse. The portal you took threw you into a
completely random dimension. Trying to send you to your home dimension
would be a shot in the dark. The chances of success are minuscule at
best�"
I shuddered and got a pleading look on my face. "How minuscule?"
"Oh, 3,141,592,653,589,793,239 to 1 I�d venture to say."
My head started to spin again, but I fought it this time and remained
on my feet. This was the worst news I had heard all day. [John�s
talent for understatement strikes yet again.] I was horrified, and it
showed. "That can�t be right�it CAN�T!"
"You�re right. The actual number is closer to 1 � 10
3,141,592,653,589,793,239 to 1."
Though I was numb with shock and on the verge of all out panic, I
maintained enough of my composure to respond in a rational manner.
"AAAAAAAH!!!!! THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!! WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME
OF ALL PEOPLE!!! ARRRRRGH!"
"Yes. You�re stuck here," she said with a straight face.
"D�uh�duh duh�I�*sigh*" I stuttered, resigning to fate. Things were
looking rather bleak at that point.
"Well, I guess you�re gonna be here for a while," said the young man
with a sigh, "My name is Tenchi Masaki."
"I forgot mine," I said, completely out of it.
"Where�s he going to sleep? This place is cramped enough as it is!"
whined Ryoko. Again, this seemed like a common occurrence.
Just then, the oldest of the men came up, smiled, and said, "You�ll
just have to share Tenchi�s Room."
"Grandpa�" resisted Tenchi. But the old man raised a finger to
silence him.
"Come now. Let�s have some tea. There is much to talk about," said
the grandfather.
END OF PART 3
Part 4:
Just then, the oldest of the men came up, smiled, and said, "You�ll
just have to share Tenchi�s Room."
"Grandpa�" resisted Tenchi. But the old man raised a finger to
silence him.
"Come now. Let�s have some tea. There is much to talk about," said
the Grandfather.
So that was it. We proceeded to sit around the table and drink tea.
You know, I don�t have any idea how he does it, but Tenchi�s Grandfather
has this talent to diffuse almost any situation. Maybe it�s his calm
demeanor in even the most dire situations. Maybe it�s his unending
charisma. Maybe it�s the fact that he could fry everyone�s ass with a
snap of his finger. Oh well. At his suggestion, we all crowded out of
the room we were in, and gathered around the table. There was an
uncomfortable silence, mostly to me because I was the subject of
everyone�s attention, until I finally buckled under their gaze and
spoke.
"So�I guess introductions are in order," I said, desperately trying to
end the silence.
"Yea. So who are you?" inquired Ryoko, who seemed to have calmed a
bit. <That was blunt,< I thought. Ryoko, I guess, is a blunt kind of
person. I actually like this quality. Being a rather straight-forward
person myself, I have a knack for putting my foot in my mouth around the
Japanese, and it�s actually refreshing to have someone even more
�brutish� than me around. "My name�s John Harding. I�m from Chicago,
Illinois, America. Who are you, Ryoko?"
She started to answer, then what I had just said finally occurred to
her. "I�uh�HEY! What kind of idiot do you think I am?"
"A stupid one," piped in a woman with long, purple hair and a very
extravagant robe."
"Who asked you?"
"You did."
"I asked him!"
"He wouldn�t know what kind of person you are. He just got here."
"And who are you to answer like that?!"
"Um�hey�" started Tenchi. He was unsuccessfully trying to stop the
argument. The woman glared at him, he sank into his seat, and the
argument continued.
"Now look what you�ve done!" yelled Ryoko.
"What?" blasted back the purple-haired girl.
"You�ve hurt his feelings!"
At that, the purple-haired girl looked around at Tenchi. He just
smiled meekly, waved, and laughed nervously. She turned around and
retorted, "I did not!"
It was about done with that argument. "Hey," I interjected. I was
ignored. "YO!" I said, raising my voice. This time, they gave me a
slightly more severe version of the glare they had given Tenchi. I was
not intimidated. The argument continued. "HELLOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" I
shouted, arching forward a bit.
"I think he was talking to us," said Ryoko, energy beginning to
crackle in her hands.
"Indeed," replied the purple-haired woman, daintily standing.
<Uh oh,> I thought nervously. I slowly exited my own chair, and
backed away, chuckling, and trying to look as harmless as humanly
possible. Seeing the two woman advancing, I did what any normal, sane
human being would have done at that point. I RAN LIKE HELL. I think
the purple-haired woman was satisfied with that, but Ryoko gave chase.
I snaked through the house, and out the front door. Ryoko just chased
me until I exited the house, and when I turned around to look, she
brandished some kind of light-saber thing and with a battle cry, came
down on me. I ducked to the side, and the weapon dug a really nice
sized divot in the ground just to my left.
"AAAAAH! Are you crazy?!" I screamed, as if that would actually call
her off.
"No, but I�m sick and tired of you! *swish* Driving into a portal
like that�what kind of idiot are you?!"
"Hey! It�s not my fault! *swoosh* Get a grip! *slash* It�s not
like I want to be here!"
"Then *crash* why don�t you just go *swish* home then?!" She
hollered.
Great. I was flat against a wall. Ryoko brought her sword up over her
head. I flinched. <Oh. This sucks>
"Ryoko! Stop it!" came a voice from behind us. I opened my eyes to
see Tenchi, Sasami, and even the purple-haired one running toward us.
Ryoko turned around for a second, and I attempted a silent escape to the
side. The energy sword appeared in my path. Damn.
"Heh heh�I was just playing with him," she said, recalling the
energy-sword. I sighed heavily. Then back-handed me to the side.
Hard. I went rolling and tumbling for a good fifty feet before coming
to a rest. That hurt quite a bit. <P-Play?!> I thought, looking at
all the holes, craters, and other damage she had caused to the
landscape, trees, and other geographical features. <I�d hate to see
�furiously trying to kill� mode!>
I laid there on the ground for quite a while, surveying the carnage
that was supposed to have been inflicted on me. "*sigh* this just
isn�t my day," I mumbled to myself. I pulled myself out of the ground
and headed back toward the others. The girls went back into the house,
leaving Tenchi standing there watching me approach.
"I�m sorry about that," said Tenchi as I neared, "Ryoko tends to
overreact to little things."
"D-don�t mention it," I rasped. We retreated into the house.
Later on, when things had settled a bit, we tried the tea thing one
more time. This time, Tenchi was smart enough to �suggest� that Ryoko
and the purple-haired girl sit on opposite sides of the table from one
another. After that, Tenchi went about introducing everyone at the
table.
"Well�John is it?" he asked. I knodded. "Like I said before, I�m
Tenchi. This is my father," he said, pointing to the middle-aged man
sitting next to him. "This is my grandfather," he said, gesturing
toward the oldest man.
"A pleasure," I said, nodding.
The introductions proceeded around the table. The purple-haired girl
was Aeka. I guess she�s the princess of some huge-ass galactic empire.
Best I stay on her good side, with all that power she�s got and all.
The genius scientist�s name was Washu. I�d better not sneeze around
her, or I�ll end up a frog, or some other less-evolved creature that I
probably would not enjoy being. The dark-green haired woman, Kiyone,
and the blonde chick, Mihoshi, are both officers in an intergalactic
law-enforcement organization called the �Galaxy Police.� Great. Cops.
It�s always cops. I should really not show them the Swiss cheese I call
a driver�s license. It would be real bad to have my 23,000 moving
violations spread all over the universe. The insurance rates on
spaceships would be�hectic. Last, but definitely not least is that
weird cat-rabbit thing they call Ryo-Ohki. Man, I�ve never seen
anything like that in my life! It hops like a rabbit, eats like a
rabbit, and has ears like a rabbit, but sounds and acts like a cat! And
that�s not the half of it. They claim this little guy (girl?) can
change into a powerful spaceship! Now I�ll believe that when I see it.
Actually, I probably won�t believe it when I see it.
Well, after that was over with, I excused myself, got up out of my
chair, and headed for the door. I needed some breathing room. <Man.
What a day,> I thought to myself, "I wanna go home!" I then whined
aloud. I was totally stressed. So I decided to do what I always do
when I�m stressed: lay back, and puff away at a big cigar.
Unfortunately, I didn�t have one on me. Then I remembered. "That�s
right! I have one Swisher Perfecto left in my glove compartment!" I
announced to myself happily, raising my finger up in a gesture of
triumph, "Now�where�s my truck?"
"It�s in the bath," said Washu, who obviously had been watching.
"Where�s the bath?"
"It�s in another dimension."
"Augh, not another dimension! What if I get stuck there?"
"You won�t get stuck there. You can�t go in in the first place."
"Why�s that?"
"The door is programmed to let only women into the dimension."
"That sucks�so do the men have one to?"
"Nope."
"Why�s that?"
"Because I didn�t feel like creating one. You men get the typical,
small, one-person room that was in the house before I got here."
"But that�s no fair!"
"Life seldom is."
"So how do I get to my truck�and my cigar?"
"You don�t."
"Can�t you make just one little exception so I can go get a smoke out
of my truck? I�ll be good I promise!"
"Nope. I can�t do that."
"AND WHY NOT?!"
"It�s in use."
"Oh�why didn�t you say that in the first place?"
"It wasn�t important at the time."
*siggggggh* typical genius type. "So what brings you out here in the
first place?" I asked.
"Well you see, I noticed that you have a unique genetic pattern that
is ideal for one of my experiments."
"How?"
"Well I scanned this while you were out cold this afternoon," she
said, holding up a hair."
"So why don�t you use the hair then?"
"This isn�t a genetic experiment, you moron, I need your person."
"No."
"Come on, this is important!"
"Uh, I just don�t think so."
"Pretty please?"
"Nnnnn-nope."
"I�ll let you get that cigar you wanted."
"Throw in privileges to that dimensional bath, and you have a deal.
When it�s not in use by the others, of course."
"Dream on," she scoffed, "You think I�d allow a filthy man like you to
use our private bath? Ha!"
"Then create me one of my own."
"Hey, spare dimensions don�t grow on trees, you know."
"But I�m sure you have one laying around somewhere, being the number
one genius scientist in the universe."
"Sure I do, but you can�t have it."
"Sorry, no deal then."
"Let me put it this way. You will be my guinea pig�one way or
another. Got it?"
At first, I thought she was just conniving. Then it dawned on me what
she was saying. <Um, I think she means it this way�you can be a guinea
pig for her, or you can be a guinea pig.> I tried one last barter. "Can
I at least have my cigar back?"
She nodded, and tossed it to me. I should have known she�d had it all
along. "I don�t need you right away. But don�t think you�re out of
this yet," she said, smiling brightly. I sighed, and shook my head.
Somehow, I didn�t feel like smoking it at that point. It was too hard
won. I sighed again, and went inside.
END OF PART 4
Part 5:
Everybody was still at the table prattling about this and that when I
got back in. I didn�t really feel like being sociable at the moment, so
I just stood there and watched Washu as she entered as well. She opened
the closet under the stairs and went in, then shut the door behind her.
That was strange. <Why would somebody lock themselves in a closet?> I
asked myself. <Probably eccentric. She is a genius, after all.> That
just wasn�t a good enough explanation to satisfy my curiosity. I walked
over to the door. I swear, that door has to be a fashion statement or
something. I mean, who in their right mind would put the thing on a
closet? It belongs on a spaceship or something. Maybe that�s where it
came from�
Well anyway, I walked over to the door, and tested it for heat. I
don�t know why I did that. Call it instinct. I grabbed the handle, and
pulled my hand back, expecting electric shock or something. You know
those eccentric genius scientists. I finally reached for the knob, and
was about to turn it when I felt a finger poke me in the back. First I
jumped 3 feet in the air. Then I turned around to see who did it.
Sasami was standing there holding that little cat-rabbit thingy, which
meowed at me. "Um, hi," I managed.
"Um, what are you doing?" she inquired, looking just a bit confused.
"What�s this?"
"It�s a door."
"But where to?"
"The closet."
"I know�but Washu just walked in there�"
"Her lab is in there."
"Why would the number one genius scientist in the whole universe have
her lab in a closet?"
Sasami giggled a bit, then replied, "No, silly, that�s just a closet,
but the door opens a portal to her lab. It�s in another dimension."
"Oh, I see. Can I open it?"
"You�d better not. Washu doesn�t like strange people in her lab."
"I see," I responded. Sasami walked away and disappeared, continuing
on with whatever it was she was doing. I, on the other hand, decided to
have a quick look at the lab. So I opened the door. There it was, in
all its glory. The closet. <Hey, wait a minute here. It didn�t
work!> I thought, closing the door. I opened the door again, only to
meet with the same fate. Flabbergasted, I closed the door again. This
time, it opened on its own, and Washu popped her head out. She gave me
an evil eye.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was�um�I-uh-was-just�getting something out of the closet! That�s
all, honest!" <Gee, that was a smart thing to say>
"I see. And what was that?"
"Oh, nothing."
"Come on."
"Really�nothing important"
"I see. Of course you�re not trying to get into my secret dimensional
lab to nose around and tinker with stuff, right?"
"Of course not!" I said, chuckling slightly.
"Of course not," she chimed in, mirroring my face and chuckling the
same, "Because if you do, I�ll turn you into a toad."
I paled slightly. "I�ll�um�keep that in mind, thanks," I managed.
Washu sunk back into her lab and closed the door behind her. I just
kind of stared at the door for a while, digesting what had just
transpired, and then retired back to the couch. I laid there for a
while, just mulling over the events of the day. Now usually, I don�t go
to bed early. Especially not at 9:00PM, as in this case. Why, I
consider midnight to be an early time for bed. I guess I was just
tired. So I slept.
Have you ever lay down somewhere, then woken up suddenly and thought
to yourself, �Damn! I fell asleep�? Well that�s what happened to me.
Now at first I didn�t notice anything out of the ordinary. This was
because it was starting to darken outside even when I had my little
�match� with Ryoko. I sat up, and attempted to get my bearings, which
was difficult because all the lights had been turned off. <Hmmm,> I
thought to myself, <It appears I have been out for a little while.> Now
the logical thing to do would have been to go back to sleep and figure
things out in the morning. But no. I was inflicted with the �I must
know what time it is, even though everyone is asleep and it�s obviously
in the wee hours of the morning� syndrome that strikes those who fall
asleep on couches without knowing it. So I went looking for a clock.
If I had noticed that the clock on the VCR right in front of me was
actually set properly, I could have saved a whole lot of trouble. You
see, it is hard enough to find something in the dark. It is even harder
to find something in the dark without making noise. The first thing I
did was flatten my big toe on the leg of some piece of furnature.
Yelping, I tried my best not to jump around and curse and swear up a
blue-streak. Let me remind you that hopping around on one foot in a
dark, unfamiliar room is not smart. I tripped. I fell. Now, it�s bad
enough for one to fall flat on one�s face. But when one�s weighs in
excess of 200 pounds, one makes a lot of noise when one falls flat on
one�s face. The resulting crash woke up the entire house, and by the
time I managed to right myself, everyone was parading down the stairs,
led by Ryoko, who had her orange light-saber thing activated, or bared,
or whatever.
<On the good side, you can see now,> I thought, <But that�s because
she�s carrying that nasty energy-sword thing and wants to turn you into
confetti!!!> Needlessly, I decided to act quickly, lest I be shredded
like dirty government documents. "Hey, um, It�s just me, so you can put
that thing away now."
"That voice sounds kind of familiar," said Tenchi�s father. Just
then, someone flipped on a light, revealing me in all my glory.
Unfortunately, the sudden brightness blinded everyone, and colorful
language filled the room as everyone tried to accustom their eyes to the
sudden increase in photon emissions. Just as I was coming back to my
senses, the door to Washu�s lab, which I had not noticed I was next to,
opened.
"Sooo! Trying to get into my lag again, eh?"
"Really, no! It�s not what it loo--" I attempted. I soon noticed
that there was something different about me. I was smaller, and seemed
to have grown some hair.
"You wanted to see the lab, huh? Well you�re about to! Wah ha ha
ha!" She cackled, and with that we disappeared into the depths of
pseudo-space.
END OF PART 5
Well that's it. I hope the formatting came out OK. While I'm here I'd
like to run an idea by you readers: I want to set Kiyone up with
someone...preferably not my character, because frankly, I don't want to
set any of the original characters up with my inserted one. People
don't like that. However, I can't stand the idea of pairing her up with
Nobiyuki (*retch*) either. Any suggestions or comments would be
genuinely apreciated.
John Harding
6/20/98