Hey man, thanx for the input!

As you can tell I am a first time author. I'll try to listen to your 
opinions. It's just that it was kind of meant to be close to the 
original, well ... coz the original is still my fave! heh. I loved >the 

table hitting part so it had to go in there :-). But rest >assured, as 
you can tell in the later stages of part 2 things are >getting a little 
different ... you'll just have to wait and see :-)

About the bisexual thing ... I wasn't decided on whether I should put 
that kind of stuff in my fic. Some people might not like it. What do 
you guys think?

Don't worry about lesbian/bisexual/etc stuff ruining your fic. Trust me 
on this one. There are many many GREAT fics out there with that element 
and it only makes it better (usually ;P). Can't you see Nabiki (or even 
Akane) finding his female side a turn on - I certainly can. Listen to 
Matthew Cambell's comments because he is right on the dot. Try to get 
away from going on the original storyline, because we've all seen 
it/read it and dreamt it over a hundred times each ;) the more original 
the better and the more people will read it. Good luck with the fic!


Ryan Erik

You've fallen into a common error with alternate reality fics.  
You're retelling far too much of the original story.  I didn't 
really need to read about Soun telling his daughters about the 
engagement.  I didn't need to read about the first Ranma/Akane 
sparring match.

You've written everything as if assuming the reader has never heard 
of Ranma 1/2 before.  The thing is, this is a fanfic.  It's OK to 
skip over stuff that most readers will already know.  That said.....

I think you have an interesting premise.  A Ranma who is the most 
beautiful woman on earth in female form.  However, I think you're 
making too much the same.  The school situation was the first real 
change.

For example, they say everyone is a little bisexual.  If Ranma is 
really such a stunning girl, it might have been interesting to see 
one of the Tendo sisters be just a little attracted.

Also, make sure Akane and Ranma's relationship is not just a replay 
of the "normal" series.  I actually expected her _not_ to hit him 
with the table this time.  After all, saying his female form was 
better looking than her is just so obviously true, she wouldn't have 
as much reason to get mad.  Instead she reacted the same way, and 
same old, same old.  
You need to make sure both guys _and_ girls treat Ranma differently.

-- 

Matthew Campbell 
E-mail me at mgcampb@clemson.edu

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