Ace Sanchez (email: jsa@fl.net.au,  WWW: http://jsa.users.fl.net.au/)

My first fic, published or otherwise. Please be gentle (Pretty please?)

Yes, it is an alternate reality / parody fic. These are my fave types
for some reason. So I thought I'd write my own.

Oh yeah, it's ok to send c&c and stuff, tell me where I went wrong :-)
It's probably to do with all the Japanese wording and stuff, I'm not
really sure of the spelling ... so if you see something wrong that's
the reason. And if some grammer and Inglish spellink is incorroct ...
so sue me :-).

(Standard disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters created
by Rumiko Takahashi.  I'm sure you know the rest.)


    Volume 1
Blonde 1/2

----------
Part 1 "The Strange Strangers"


Soun Tendo, a man with long black hair and a slim moustache, observed
the dark clouds moving off the horizon for a short moment. The freak
storm had come and gone so quickly, it seemed as if it were an omen of
some kind. Shrugging, he returned to checking his mail and discovered
a postcard, of the cheap quality. The slightly scrunched and dirty card
addressed to him said,

"Bringing Ranma in from China." It was signed, "Saotome."

Reading this, Soun smiled gleefully and ran ecstatic back into the
house. Finally, he and his best friend's plans will come to fruition!
Giving hops of excitement, Soun skipped through the hall calling for his
three daughters. "Nabiki, Kasumi, Akane." A frown marred his smile.
"Akane? Where is that girl?" Kasumi was in the kitchen as usual, while
Nabiki was in her bedroom reading a comic. However his youngest was
nowhere to be found.

As it so happened, the youngest had just entered the hall. "I'm
ho-ome!" she called out to no-one in particular and ran down into the
hallway leading to the dojo to start her morning workout. Without
stopping or slowing down she managed to remove her jogging clothes and
replace them with her gi, as she entered the training area. Fortunately
her jogging clothes hadn't gotten wet on her morning run since the
storm had passed by her.

After stacking up a pile of bricks, she chopped them with tremendous
force, letting out a loud yell. Dust, splinters and chunks of clay flew
everywhere as the pile disintegrated through the middle. Akane sighed in
satisfaction, as she shrugged her long black hair from her shoulders.
"That was nice."

Suddenly Nabiki entered the training hall almost startling her. "There
you go again Akane," she spoke derisively. "No wonder the boys think you
are weird."

Ha! I wish! Akane thought sourly wiping moist hair from her forehead.
Turning around to gift her sister with a tart smile, she noticed Nabiki
was slightly tense.

"What is it Nabiki?"

"Father received a postcard," Nabiki replied, smiling hesitantly. "He
sounded excited." Akane frowned. Excited was 'not' good.


~*~*~*~


Outside the Tendo residence, all seemed peaceful. A gentle breeze
whispered through the various trees around the large house, while the
birds chirped among themselves, hopping along the swaying branches.

However the peacefulness of the day was misleading as the discussion
within the Tendo home was not peaceful at all.

"Fiance?!" a shocked voice called out, scaring a few chirping birds
from their perch outside the Tendo house. Gathered around the large
family table, Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane listened, aghast at what their
father had just explained to them.

"We have a fianc�, father? You didn't tell us before." Kasumi was looking
a little startled, which was so out of character it displayed just how
overwhelmed she really was.

"Nah, he did it so we wouldn't run away from home before he got here."
Nabiki said sarcastically. The she smiled. "On the other hand, there is
still time ... " She frowned. "No, sounds too expensive."

Akane just wore a heated scowl that could have melted an iceberg. "Dad,
I can't believe you did this!" However none of what they said seemed to
pierce their father's bubble of joy.

"My greatest wish is at last to come true!" He smiled joyfully. "The
Anything Goes Martial Arts School will continue if one of you could
marry my friend's son, Ranma, and carry on the dojo."

The girl's realized then, just how important this was to their father.

Nabiki thought about her priorities. This Ranma couldn't be that rich if
he was the son of her father's best friend. Otherwise she would've heard
about it by now. Therefore that left the guy with one saving grace.
"Well I wouldn't mind if he's handsome. What does he look like?"

Soun shrugged a little self-consciously. "I have no idea." He frowned as
he thought about it. "When he comes here, it will be my first look at
him as well."

Kasumi accepted this in her usual calm way, as the oldest she had more
experience with their father's goofiness.

Nabiki did a double take. Engaging your own offspring, sight unseen?

Akane's scowl just grew darker if that was possible.

Soun laughed confidently. "But having Genma as his father, what could go
wrong?"


~*~*~*~


At this moment outside the Tokyo shopping center, chaos was reckoning.

Cars crashed as their bewildered male drivers stared at the most
beautiful, sexiest female they had ever seen. Coincidentally it was also
the strangest episode they had ever come across. No one was complaining
though.

Crowds of male onlookers gathered at the sides, and even in the middle
of the streets, blind to everything else as they gazed raptly at the
young, slender girl who had just came running down the street. It looked
as if she were fleeing someone or something. The growls coming from
behind her suggested that it was a something, rather than a someone.

"Get lost ya ol' fart!" The girl shouted, the rough words at odds to the
beauty she represented, as she looked over her shoulder. She was soaking
wet, her damp clinging shirt provoking more than one lewd fantasy out of
the audience. Moist tendrils of water-darkened golden hair escaped from
her pigtail as it flapped behind her in the wind.

The crowd's eyes grew even wider as they spotted who or what was chasing
her as it came into sight over the crest of a hill. It was a giant
panda. Its fur was also soaking wet. It loped after the extraordinarily
beautiful girl on all fours, quite fast for a creature of it's size.

Suddenly, a starry-eyed man somehow materialized in front of the girl
and tried to grab her. "Oh my love! Where have you been all my life?"
Reflexively, the girl dodged, spun around and punted him at the panda.

However, the panda dodged to the side, remarkably agile for it's bulk,
and avoided the human missile. Instead, the man shattered into the
window of a crashed car. The driver didn't notice though, as he was too
busy checking the girl out, like all the other men.

"I mean, seriously!" the girl shouted at the panda again as they resumed
the chase. "Engaging me to some girl?" There was a collective gasp from
the audience at this revelation. However they discarded the information
as untrue after a bit of thought. The world was already a cruel enough
place without the most beautiful female on it being a lesbian.

Suddenly the girl stopped running and turned around to face the giant
panda. Her beautiful face was red with fury. "I'm not going along with
it!"

The panda growled angrily at the girl and charged, it's claws swinging
in a complex pattern which could only be martial arts, though it was
anyone's guess how a fat panda could do it. The girl jumped back and
assumed a fighting stance.

"So you wanna fight?" she asked confidently. "I'm ready ... wait hold
that thought ..." She flicked off another man who had somehow glomped
onto her arm. "Now I'm ready!"

The panda growled loudly as it resumed its attack, but this time
elevating fully onto it's hind legs, as if it were a man. A claw
narrowly missed the blond girl's dodging quick body, as she back flipped
out of harm's way. The panda continued with deceptively quick strikes
for it's huge bulk, but just as amazingly, the girl weaved through the
panda's fast offence, obviously skilled herself.

After an amazing sequence of attempted blows and dodges, the girl took
the upper hand. Somehow managing to break through the panda's offence and
defence she grabbed it's outstretched arm and threw it over her shoulder
as smoothly and easily as if the panda weighed 1 pound instead of the
1000 it seemed to be. A poor street sign was crushed beyond repair after
the fat animal landed on it.

The beautiful girl snorted contemptuously at her defeated enemy. "You
can't make me do it. The only thing I'm doing is go back to China." She
tried to wipe the dust from her shirt but only succeeded in muddying it.
"Yeah, even if I have to swim back like before, I'll undo this and you
can go give birth to some other boy and make him get engaged." She
looked around at all her observers and let out a sound of disgust. "And
if it wasn't for that stupid storm ..."

Unfortunately the girl's observation of them seemed to provoke the
hordes of admiring men into madness.

"She was looking at me!" a voice rang out.

"No! She was looking at me!" another disagreed.

"Are you kidding? With your ugly face?"

"Well maybe she wants variety from handsome men!"

"Ha! You wish!"

Soon the number of voices grew until the noise grew tenfold with all the
men arguing.

The girl stared at the crowds of arguing men. "Geez, how pathetic, " she
sighed in disgust. She turned to go on her way when an angry feminine
voice shouted furiously from behind her.

"Hey you!" The voice shouted.

Extremely hesitant as to what she would find, the girl turned around
with a shudder. Wherever there were men, there were always women. She
wasn't surprised to discover large mobs of angry women, about equal in
number to the hordes of men, behind her. They ranged from cute teenaged
girls to middle-aged adult women. However the one thing they all had in
common was that they were all furious. The air rumbled as large amounts
of handbags and umbrella's were waved around threateningly. A couple of
mallets were stroked in anticipation.

"Who me?" the girl asked trying to sound innocent, inwardly beginning
to panic as she remembered what happened last time she attracted this
many men.

"Yes, you ... you siren!" the woman shouted again. It was a cute
brunette, or at least, she would've been cute if her eye's weren't
glowing red.

"How dare you steal my husband's affections!" another woman called out.

"Jezebel!"

"Man stealer!"

"Boyfriend taker!"

"Whore of Babylon!"

It continued until every woman in the crowd was shouting.

The girl stepped backwards terrified. She turned around, ready to flee
but found she was trapped. The women had somehow encircled her.

The accusations continued for almost five minutes before the mob grew
violent.

The panda sat up and shrugged its furry shoulders sympathetically,
occasionally covering its droopy ears with it's claws to drown out the
shrill screams of pain. The sound of mallets, handbags and umbrella's
impacting flesh followed by silence came next. But it was happy since
the jealous women had managed to accomplish what the panda had been
trying to do all along.


~*~*~*~


Back at the Tendo residence, things were heating up. Or more
specifically, Akane was heating up. "You're just going to marry one of
us to some guy, who you admit, you haven't even seen? He could be some
ugly pervert!"

Soun laughed pathetically with an arm thrown over his shoulder. "We will
meet him when he arrives here with his father," he tried to explain
weakly. "And they just came in from China too."

Nabiki turned to face him. "China? Really?" she asked interestedly.
Being able to travel meant having money.

Akane waved it off. "Big deal Dad, as if that would lighten up the
fact that one of us is gonna have to marry some complete stranger."

Kasumi tidied up some scraps on the table. "I do hope he's not too
young," she put in. "Younger men are boring to me." Taking some dirty
plates left over from breakfast with her, she returned to the kitchen.

Akane was surprised with her eldest sister. "You're just going to accept
this? Just like that?" she asked startled, calling after her. That
sounded too much like she was seriously considering this. After all, the
situation seemed inconsiderable to her. Arranged marriages indeed!

Nabiki smiled at them both. "Well I'm going to check him out before I
say no. Who knows? He might even be cute."

Akane gave a doubting expression. "That's not the point anyway, Nabiki."
She was interrupted by a knock on the front door.

Some dishes clanged in the kitchen. "Oh my," Kasumi's voice carried
down to Akane and Soun. "Could that be them, father? Nothing is ready
yet."

"Since the card came today, I bet it's them," Soun explained excitedly.
"Oh it has been so long Genma! And now that you are here, our families
will be united in marriage!" His eyes started to water as if about to
start another round of ecstatic weeping.

Akane glared at him. "Dad!" As she was about to continue to argue with
him, Nabiki ran back into the room shouting. "Run! It's a dangerous
animal!" At that point, Nabiki's 'dangerous animal' waddled in. They all
stared at the strange sight. A rather large panda stood at the entrance
on it's hind legs, holding a slender person in it's furry arms. It's
baggage seemed to be struggling. And cursing. "Leggo 'o me! ya stupid
ol' man!" came out of the struggling pile of limbs.

"Do you know these people, father?" Kasumi asked, having just returned
from the kitchen to see whether the expected people had arrived. These
two couldn't be them. After all one of them wasn't even human.

The giant panda waddled in further and deposited its wriggling burden.
The Tendo's stared. It was unmistakably a girl. An incredibly beautiful
girl.

She had on slightly damp chinese style clothes, which consisted of a red
shirt and flowing black long pants. A tennis star's slender figure and
ample, but firm breasts filled them out. Although she was a little
slight and petite, she was definitely perfectly proportioned. Her silky
blond hair was a little bit rumpled though, some long tendrils escaping
from the pigtail at her neck as if someone had been pulling it. A couple
of bruises and scratches that looked as if they were made by fingernails
stood out a bit on her cheeks. However this messy effect just seemed to
add to her beauty, enhancing her earthy appeal, rather than detract from
it.

Large blue eyes with long dark brown eyelashes were still glaring
furiously at ... her panda? Then her expression changed as she realized
that she was being watched, and smiled weakly at them, blushing
furiously.

A dimple appeared on her left cheek as she smiled. Akane thought that if
she were a guy, she would've turned into jelly by that smile. Then she
remembered that her father was a guy, in between all his crying, and
spun to face him quickly. She was almost afraid to see the outcome. Good
grief, she thought as she stared at him.

"Oh my girl! Let's get married right away!" Soun giggled wildly as he
tried to glomp onto the girl's arm.

The blond girl's exquisite features twisted in embarrassment as she
uppercutted him through the roof with a loud crash.

"Um ... I'm Ranma Saotome, " she said, still blushing prettily. "Sorry
about this."


~*~*~*~


"But Saotome said he had a son!" Soun sobbed, having just regained
consciousness. He was also still red from embarrassment to how he had
lost control upon first seeing Ranma. It was frightening how the beauty
had affected him. And over his own best friend's daughter, no less!

"Now, now, Father," Kasumi scolded as she tended to Soun's face. "The
bandages will get wet."

Nabiki prodded Ranma's firm breast through her red shirt. "If this is a
boy, Dad, no wonder there are so many homosexuals in the world," she
said sarcastically. But inwardly she was secretly rejoicing. Imagine all
the money she would make with photos of Ranma! Much more than she was
currently getting from her little sister she was willing to bet. Who
knows? Maybe she could even make Ranma into a supermodel. And of course
Ranma would need a manager...

"Mind cutting that out?" Ranma bit out, annoyed with Nabiki's prodding.

Nabiki leaned back, satified that Ranma's bust were as big and firm as
they looked. Models always needed large and attractive breasts.

Akane, in an agreeable mood now that an engagement between Ranma and any
of them seemed unlikely, felt sorry for her. Obviously Ranma's father
had just dumped his daughter and pet panda on them, probably seeking to
abandon her. Though who knew why anyone would want to do that to this
exquisite girl. Obviously, some kind of unfeeling monster. Her father
sure knew how to pick his friends. She introduced herself. "Hi, I'm
Akane. You want me to show you around the place? At least until Dad
calms down a bit." She indicated her poor excuse for a father. He was
still crying. Then she brightened. "We have a dojo you might like to
see."

Ranma's face showed visible relief. "Oh, can we?" she asked, trying not
to look at Soun.

Nabiki snapped out of her pleasant daydream involving Ranma and money.
"Yes, Akane, go show her the dojo. We'll tell you when Dad here ... "
She gave her father a dirty look. He hadn't stopped crying yet. " ...
has calmed down a bit."

Akane looked back at the fat panda sitting on the floor. "You want to
bring your panda? He can come too if you want."

Ranma gave her panda a dirty look as if promising untold retribution.
"Nah ... he can stay here. A dojo might give him unpleasant reminders
of a beating," Ranma replied, dismissing the animal. Akane led her from
the room. But looking back she could have sworn that panda had given
them a toothy grin.


~*~*~*~


The practice hall of the dojo was a moderately large wooden room with
seats aligned along the walls and a few pictures hanging, giving
it a 'homey' feel, obviously Kasumi's influence. The shattered bricks
were still lying in the corner from Akane's morning session which had
been interrupted by Soun's announcement of the betrothal. Luckily, said
betrothal was no longer a viable option now that Ranma had turned out to
be a female instead. Not only that but probably the most femalish female
in the whole world. Even Ranma's boyish clothes couldn't hide that fact.

Ranma looked around smiling, pleased with what she saw. Akane remembered
from her Dad's description of Ranma and her father that they were
martial artists also. In fact that was one of the objectives for the
betrothal, that Ranma could marry one of them and carry on the dojo and
the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. It stood to reason that even
though Ranma being a male was a lie, she was still probably a great
martial artist. That incredible uppercut she gave her father was a
giveaway. "So, you train in Kempo?" Akane asked.

"Yes, some," Ranma replied, still looking around.

Akane smiled. "Then let's have a little match ok?"

Ranma looked at her uneasily. "Huh?"

"Just for fun," Akane reassured her. "I won't hurt you."

Ranma shrugged, letting her blond pigtail fall from her shoulder.
"Okay," she agreed, though obviously still uneasy. Akane wondered about
that. Was Ranma not that good and embarrassed that she would lose? After
all, Ranma did have a body that looked as if it were only to be admired
and not actually used. Then she reminded herself never to underestimate
an opponent.

Akane stretched for a while to prepare for the workout. Ranma just
seemed to stand there. As she straightened herself from a final stretch,
she was surprised that Ranma was still doing nothing but just standing
there and watching her. She again wondered about Ranma's ability or lack
thereof.

Then she shrugged inwardly. "Let's begin!" she called out formally.

Akane relaxed into a battle stance. She waited for her opponent to do
the same. Ranma, however, just stood there, hands clasped behind her
back, her very posture an opening and inviting an attack.

Akane, realizing that she had to attack first or wait forever, flowed
forwards into a strong punch but without much speed to it, to test the
waters, so to speak. She found herself punching air. Ranma had jumped
straight up! This surprised her. She was expecting Ranma to have dodged
it, but not so easily it looked as if she weren't even trying.

As Ranma descended from her jump, Akane executed a high roundhouse kick,
to intercept her. However that failed also, since Ranma dodged it by
twisting into a midair flip. Akane attacked a few times more, but failed
to even touch her. She began to see a pattern. Akane attacked, Ranma
dodged. She realised that Ranma was deliberately holding back, and was
not going to initiate any attacks on her own.

Starting to get annoyed, she watched as Ranma dodged another blow,
landing softly a few feet away. "What's wrong? Swing at me!"

Again she launched into a series of attacks but time after time, Ranma
dodged each successfully as well as, mysteriously, failing to attack
back. Obviously Ranma was not even attempting to. She is so quick, Akane
thought. Why couldn't she hit her? She was just 'too' fast!

Finally annoyed enough after so many failed attempts to land a blow, or
even receive one, Akane decided to go all out and try her best. She
laughed to herself. Let's see her dodge this! Putting everything she had
in the fight, she executed a quick combo, ending in one of her fastest
and strongest punches. However, instead of hitting Ranma it went through
the wooden wall instead. Ranma had vaulted over her attack again. But
this time she felt a soft tap on the back of her head!

Ripping her fist out of the shattered hole in the wall, she whipped
around furiously. This time Akane was really mad. Ranma was so good, it
was like she was holding back just to embarrass her.

"Uh, umm, well..." Ranma was blushing! It made her look so adorably
innocent, Akane felt bad for losing her temper. It just didn't feel
right to lose her temper over someone who 'looked' like that.

"It's okay, Ranma," Akane tried to reassure her. "I'm just glad you
aren't a boy. I'd really hate losing to a boy." Strangely this just
seemed to agitate Ranma even further.

Just then Kasumi's voice startled them as she walked into the dojo. "If
you two are finished, I think you should get cleaned up before we have
dinner." Kasumi straightened one of the paintings on the wall.

Ranma sighed, grateful for the interruption, and followed Kasumi out
of the training hall. Akane followed also but spotted the mess she had
made that morning and decided to clean it up before joining them.


~*~*~*~


Nabiki stepped into the dojo just as Akane finished sweeping up the
debris left by the bricks she had smashed. "So, you and Ranma sparred?,"
she asked, noticing Akane's flushed face and heavy breathing. "How did
it go?"

"Terrible..." Akane sighed. "A girl that looks that good. It's just not
fair that her looks match up to her martial arts."

Nabiki smiled at her reassuringly. "Don't let it get you down, little
sister. After all, we all heard from Dad that Ranma has been training in
Anything Goes Martial Arts almost from the day he, ... I mean she, was
born. But I guess that was kind of doubtful after we found out he was
really a girl."  And an extremely pretty one at that who should earn me
lots of money, Nabiki added silently. "So now we know it was the truth.
It's not an embarrassment to lose to someone with those kind of
credentials." She smiled at Akane's dishevelment. "Go take a bath sis,
you don't want to stink up the living room now do you?"

Akane snorted. "I can't say much for your speech, but I'll take your
advice and grab that bath. I know I need it, but to calm me down, not
wash the smell off. I do 'not' smell." She left the dojo leaving Nabiki
to smile and shake her head at her back.


~*~*~*~


Akane opened the door to the outer room of the bath, sighing in
anticipation of washing the dirt off her body in the hot bath. She
undressed quickly, smiling as she swung her towel over her shoulder.
Nabiki was right, she did feel more relaxed after a hot bath, and now
more than ever, she needed it's calming effects. Not only that, but
Kasumi said that Ranma was already in there, and Akane was kind of
curious if she looked just as perfect without clothes as with them.

Within the bath, Ranma sighed nervously and stood up, leaving the warmth
of the water. Kasumi had practically made it an order for it to be
taken. Should I just come out as I am...? Ranma wondered. "Ranma, you
in here?" a voice called out. All thoughts disappeared. Akane, barely
covered by her skimpy towel had just walked in, her mouth going into an
'o' of surprise as she stared. Ranma's throat constricted.

Akane blinked, hoping the naked teenage boy was just her overactive
imagination. He didn't fade away. Just like a male, albeit an imaginary
one, he was too stubborn to get out of her sight. Although he 'was'
pretty cute, must have been that romantic movie she watched last night
giving her ideas. She reached out and hoped that her hand would go
through him. It didn't. Naked male flesh met her fingers. She calmly left
the bathroom and shut the door. However her scream lacked any calmness
she displayed earlier.

Nabiki and Kasumi rushed to her rescue followed by her father and a
strange man Akane didn't recognize. He had on round glasses and a
head scarf which failed to hide his baldness.

"Akane, what's wrong?" Nabiki asked frantically.

"There's some strange pervert boy in there!" Akane forgot about the new
comer and indicated the door to the bathroom, still distraught and
shaking.

"But I just sent Ranma for a bath ... " Kasumi replied, a puzzled look
on her face.

The door to the outer room of the bath suddenly opened, startling them.
It was that same boy Akane had surprised in the tub. He was wearing
Ranma's chinese clothes. He even had the same hair style and eye colour
of Ranma, although he had black-brown hair and not blonde. This puzzled
her. What had happened to Ranma?

Soun, Nabiki, Kasumi and Akane looked at him expectantly. Only the plump
stranger wearing the head scarf and round glasses looked unsurprised.

"Um, I'm Ranma Saotome ... sorry about this."


~*~*~*~


Night was preparing to settle in above the town of Nerima, Tokyo. The
late afternoon sun's red light gently diminished as it continued to set.
Again, peacefulness was not mirrored to what was currently happening
within the Tendo house. Loud voices could be heard drifting out of the
open windows.

Inside, the seemingly, newly arrived Genma Saotome, and his 'male' son,
Ranma, have sat down opposite to Soun Tendo and his three daughters,
Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane, at the large family table. Soun had explained
ecstatically that Genma had shown up not long after Akane had gone to
show Ranma around. Although Genma did have to wait some time before Soun
recovered from his bout of weeping before he was noticed.

"So Saotome, you really did have a son!" Soun was crying again, but this
time in happiness. "But then who was that other girl?" He reddened a bit
remembering her beauty.

"Er ... yes, Tendo." Genma looked distinctly uncomfortable as he worked
out how to exactly explain the situation. Then his face suddenly
brightened as he decided what to do. He stood up, and with a quick flip
over his shoulder, sent Ranma hurtling through the open door and towards
the small koi pond at the back of the house.

Everyone looked on in shock as Ranma shouted, flailing his arms and legs
about, to somehow divert his path from the oncoming water. He failed
miserably, making a fountain of cold water splash up from where he
landed.

The water, rippling at the surface, suddenly bubbled as a figure gasped
for air, and emerged from within the pond. Ranma seemed smaller for
some reason, with lighter hair and a bigger chest.

"What the hell did you do that for Pop?!" It was a feminine voice that
somehow, seemed familiar. Soun and his daughters, shocked beyond belief,
stared as Ranma slowly walked back towards them dripping wet. Ranma
looked ... different.

"What? Now he's a girl?" Soun exclaimed, more confused than ever. He
studied Ranma's body, hoping that it was just his imagination and that
Ranma had somehow gotten yellow muck in his hair, and was just stooping
so he seemed short. But then he noticed the definite twin bulges in
Ranma's chest which clung damply to the inside of her sopping red shirt.
The slender curves of Ranma's body also could not be ignored. Ranma was
definitely that beautiful girl he had lost it over earlier. Soun's
mouth dropped open, saliva leaking out at one corner.

Akane's mouth dropped open as she realized that the beautiful girl she
had wanted to be friends with was actually a guy. Slowly her anger
started to build.

Nabiki was shocked too, she wanted her beautiful new supermodel! Then
she calmed down after she realized that her plans were still possible if
Ranma could change back, and that dunk into the pond proved it.

Kasumi just smiled gently at Ranma, unfazed.

Genma started crying. "Oh my poor son! How cruel for him to suffer this
appalling condition!"

Ranma just walked back to the table ignoring the stares and calmly
hammered her father into that same pool that she had just gotten out of.
Genma flew even higher than Ranma had and fell making a huge splash.
"And you know just who's fault that is, don't you, ya ol' fool!"

"Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed. "That pond isn't too deep."

However, instead of the expected Mr Saotome that resurfaced, it was the
same panda that had come with Ranma in the first place. Soun seemed to
come out of his idiotic stupor for a second. "Saotome! Is that you?" he
asked incredulously. Then he caught another look at Ranma and fell back
into his stupor.

The panda crawled out of the pond, its fur all drenched and soaking wet.
It held up a wooden sign saying, "Yes, unfortunately." The panda then
reversed the sign revealing: "And it's all Ranma's fault!"

"What!" Ranma shouted, her face slowly turning red. "It was you who
thought Jusenkyou was a famous training ground!"

The panda slowly returned, dripping water all over the floor. Kasumi
frowned at all the mess the panda was making as it lifted up another
wooden sign.

"The kettle please?" the sign which the panda lifted read. Kasumi
fetched it for him. The panda then upended the whole kettle over his
head. The girls were again shocked as the panda shrunk back into a man.

Soun was still comotose, mouth hanging open with a considerable amount
of drool puddling beneath him.

~*~*~*~


With Genma changed back into a man and Soun recovered enough to seem
like a normal human being, Genma explained how he and Ranma had gotten
cursed. Ranma, however, was still lushly female, since Genma had used up
all of the kettle water that seemed to turn them back into normal.


   ## Flashback ##


"Hmmm, this doesn't seem like a training ground Pop ..." Ranma was
looking suspiciously at the strange pools of water with long bamboo
poles suspended over and between them.

"Of course it is, boy! After all it 'is' listed in this old martial
arts book I found," Genma replied and even fished out the book he was
carrying to prove his point. "See? Jusenkyou. Famous training ground.
Right above this stuff that I can't read."

Although he was a bit puzzled at the funny chinese guide, in a uniform
of some kind and a hat, jumping up and down and shouting at them. But
since Genma couldn't understand what he was saying, he ignored him. What
he couldn't understand, couldn't hurt him right? "C'mon Ranma, let's
begin."

Both of them leapt up, each of them landing on a pole, balancing
perfectly on one foot, ignoring the shouts of the guide.

The two of them leapt from pole to pole, each intending to knock the
other on to the ground and maybe even into an embarrassing cold bath.
However it was Ranma who achieved that first.

With a quick midair kick, courtesy of his son, Genma was knocked head
first down into a pool. Ranma gloated. The chinese guide managed to
shout something in recognizable japanese, something about a cursed pool
and a drowned panda, but Ranma was too intent on watching his father
surface the water, wet and defeated, to truly pay attention.

"Ha ha, old man! How is the water down there?" he smirked.

Suddenly a loud growl came from below, and to Ranma's shock, a huge
Panda wearing his father's gi and snarling visciously exploded from the
water. Instinctively, he tried to dodge, but the surprise of a panda
coming up instead of his father, slowed him down enough that the panda
was able to land a solid strike.

Shouting, Ranma fell into the pool below him. Resurfacing, and spitting
out water he again managed to catch a snatch of what that strange
chinese guide was saying.

"... terrible, terrible tragedy! Fall in cursed pools! The Nyannichuan!
Very tragic legend of girl that fall in pool and drown! Now whoever fall
in pool take form of girl!"

Shaking, a grim foreboding coming to him, Ranma ripped open his shirt
and saw the impossible. He had sprouted breasts!


   ## End flashback ##


"And that's how it happened." Genma sadly shook his head.

"Hey, that's not all!" Ranma said evilly, rubbing her hands together as
she anticipated her father's coming discomfort.

Genma, strangely, went white. "No!! Don't tell them what happened next!"

Soun perked up a little, not blushing anymore since he had gotten a
little used to Ranma's female body. "Go, on girl, umm, err, boy! Tell!"

Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi also curious urged Ranma to tell them.


   ## Flashback again ##


"Arrrrghhhhhhhh!!!!!!" Ranma was shouting his head off. Jumping out of
the pool as if it were acid, he realised his diminished size and felt
his face. It felt different, smoother like a girl's. Feeling the blood
rushing to his face under his smaller looking palms, he got another
horrifying thought. Extremely hesitant, he opened the top of his pants.
Frightened, he peeked inside. "Ii-t's go-o-o-nnne!!" the newly made
'she' wailed miserably. "And how come I have blond errr ... arrrghhhh!
down there??!!"

The chinese guide's voice continued in the background.

" ... although hot water reverse effect  ... at least till hit with cold
water agai .. n? ..."

Stuck in abject misery, Ranma didn't notice the sudden silence.

Suddenly two things collided with her. One was the giant panda,
that Ranma concluded must be her father, and the other was the chinese
guide. They were each holding tightly on to her arms.

"Bee-yoo-ti-full ...," the guide was slobbering out of his drool.

The panda was making suspicious high-pitched growling noises. It flashed
a wooden sign from nowhere, saying "Hubba, hubba!"

Appalled and scared to death, Ranma slipped out of their grasp and
started running for her life. Her two admirers immediately began
pursuit.


   ## End flashback ##


"And they kept me on the run for hours, before they managed to snap out
of it," Ranma finished.

With incredulous looks on their faces, Soun and his daughters turned to
see what Genma had to say about that. Instead they found a damp panda
holding a sign that said, "Don't look at me." It flipped the sign. "I'm
only a cute panda!"

At that point, they heard the kettle whistling and Akane fetched it.
She splashed Ranma and the panda with its contents. "So cold water
changes you, but hot water gets you back to normal."

"Owwwwww! Hot, hot!" Ranma and his father cried, now in male form, as
they both jumped up and began hopping around in pain. "Hot water! Not
boiling!"

"Whatever," Akane answered, not the least bit repentant.

Soun, who was sitting down contemplating these strange turn of events,
suddenly stood up overjoyed. "So Saotome, Ranma is really a boy?"

Genma answered positive.

"Ha ha ha, so the engagement can still carry on!" Soun laughed, slapping
Ranma on the back. Akane, Kasumi and Nabiki grew bug-eyed.

Ranma shouted, "What!!??"

"So choose which of my daughters you want to marry." He indicated his
daughters. "My daughter, Kasumi, nineteen. Nabiki, seventeen. And Akane,
sixteen."

Blood started to heat up Ranma's face.

"Pick whoever you want and that is your fianc�."

Kasumi and Nabiki shared a glance, then simultaneously they shoved Akane
forward.

"Oh he wants Akane," Kasumi suggested.

"Yes, definitely," Nabiki agreed.

Akane looked around wildly. "But he's a girl half the time!"

Nabiki grinned at her. "But you hate boys, Akane. Therefore, he's the
perfect one for you."

"But he's such a pervert! Even his father lusts after him! That is sick
I tell you! Sick!"

"Hey!" Genma cried out, indignant. "Every male who has seen Ranma in
female form for the first time has and will act like that! That was my
one and only time I've fallen from grace!"

Ranma gave his father a look that he would disprove that statement
later but then returned to glaring at Akane. "And it's not my fault I'm
so beautiful as a girl!" he added, starting to get angry. "You think I
like male attention? If anything it's Pop here who deserves all the
blame." Ranma splashed a glass of water at his father, turning him into
a panda.

"And ... and it would be embarrassing if I had a fianc� who looked a
hundred times better than me, " Akane argued, grasping at straws now.

"And it would be embarrassing if I married someone who doesn't look one
hundredth as cute as I am as a girl!," Ranma shouted. "You're just
jealous that when I'm in cursed form, I'm more beautiful and well built
than you could ever hope to be!"

Akane started to glow a blue aura. Ranma started sweating, realizing
that he had let his mouth run away with him.

"R-aa-nnma! You fool! Why don't you just marry yourself then?" Akane
shouted. She picked up the table.

"Ummm, Akane, wh-at are you going to do with that?"

"This!" Akane shouted. She swung the table in a mighty overhead swing on
top of Ranma's head. Ranma's head, although quite hard, was no
competition for the Tendo Family room table.

Akane looked at the still form underneath the upturned table and huffed
in satisfaction. She left to go to her room, leaving everyone else in
shock.

"They're already a perfect couple," the panda signed.


--- End of Part 1.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



Blonde 1/2

----------
Part 2 "School is no place for horsing around"


It was the beginning of a new day in Tokyo, Nerima. The sun peeked
around the sparse clouds above a certain house and dojo. The noise
of people arguing loudly leaked out of it's windows.

"Oh, do I have to?" Ranma groaned.

His father folded his arms trying to make himself look forceful.
"Boy, we are going to stay here a while, so you got no excuse for
skipping school ... besides, you wanna grow up being dumb?"

"Hey, just coz you probably didn't go to school doesn't mean you have to
force your old boyhood desires on me!"

Genma reddened.

"Now, now Ranma ... " Nabiki passed by the open door. "You'll be seeing
us at school anyway, since Akane and I go to the one you are enrolled
at." Inwardly, Nabiki was making plans on how to market Ranma in girl
form at school. She rubbed her hands in anticipation over how much money
she was going to make today. In fact she knew of one guy she was sure
would pay her a lot of money for information on her new money maker.
"Anyway, I'm off!"

Akane walked in, carrying her books and dressed in her school uniform.
"Wait! Nabiki, can I go with you?"

"Hmmmm? Shouldn't you be going with Ranma? He's your fianc�, you should
walk him there and show him around. And he is in your grade." She didn't
want to be slowed down. She had a lot of work to do.

"So what? You think I want him to be my fianc�?"

"Hey!" Ranma objected. "I didn't have a choice either you know."


~*~*~*~


Akane looked at Ranma out of the corner of her eye. Show off, she
thought. Walking on the fence like that.

Ranma looked down at her from atop the wire fence. "Hey! Stop with the
dirty looks already. You think I wanted to walk to school with you?"

"I don't care, it's still your fault Ranma," Akane stated stubbornly.

Ranma lifted his arms in exasperation. "Jeez, Akane..."

"And don't think we are 'really' going to get married either," Akane
added.

"Will you stop treating me as if this engagement was all my idea? Go
blame our parents if you have to blame ... Hey!" He shouted as he was
hit on the head from behind. He discovered his father behind him, also
on the fence.

"You listen here boy, you 'will' uphold the Saotome honor by marrying
Akane," Genma imperiously stated. He was about to say more but Ranma's
roundhouse propelled him off the fence and into the canal.

"What was that Pop?" Ranma taunted as the panda resurfaced. The panda
spat out some water and growled. "Huh? Speak up! I can't understand
you."

Hissing in rage, the panda gave a gigantic leap, bringing him over the
fence and onto Akane's side. Seeing his father's temper over the edge,
Ranma wisely decided to leave. Breaking into a sprint on top of the
fence, he shouted, "C'mon Akane! Let's go!"

Akane looked back at the snarling panda beginning to give chase and
agreed that the idea had merit. They sprinted off, the panda in hot
pursuit.

A while later, they stopped running when they couldn't see the panda
anymore. Ranma looked at Akane and laughed. "Ha ha. We lost him. He's
too fat to run for long.

His laugh, however, was cut short by a stream of water landing on his
head. The new 'girl'looked up angrily to find the back of an old woman
going back in from the upper balcony with an empty bucket in her hands.
Then she panicked as she realized that some boys were across the road
and were going to notice her any second.


~*~*~*~


Nabiki chuckled as she took off her grey wig and wrinkled facemask
within the safety of her friend's house. The first step after all was to
advertise a new product. And those male students across the road have
probably already gotten a good eyeful of it. She peeked from between the
curtains to survey her handiwork. Drat, she thought. Ranma and Akane had
somehow avoided letting the boys spot them and were getting away! She
wondered how they did it.


~*~*~*~


Akane looked at Ranma. "Okay, you can take that paper bag off your
head now."

Ranma peeked uneasily from underneath her makeshift disguise to find
that they were indeed in front of the medical clinic. Akane had said
earlier that they could get hot water from here. "You sure it's okay
Akane? No guys around here to freak out over me? It's disgusting."

"You're girlish ego is all that's disgusting Ranma. As if hordes of men
will just assault you on the street like that," Akane said as she opened
the door and went in. Ranma followed, peeking right and left under the
bag.

It's not the men I'm afraid of ... " Ranma said with a shudder as she
pulled the bag off completely and shook her blond pigtail off her
shoulder. Well, mostly, Ranma added silently. Nervously she hid behind
one of the walls as Akane asked the woman behind the counter for a
bucket of hot water.

"Hot water Akane? Sure, just wait here a moment." The woman gave Akane a
puzzled glance wondering 'why' she needed a bucket of hot water before
leaving to go into one of the rooms.

Ranma leaned against the wall she was hiding behind and groaned. The
start of the day was 'not' promising she reflected. Just as she added a
couple more mental complaints to her list, she felt a bony hand touching
her on the shoulder. Startled, she spun quickly and jumped back into a
defensive position. She blinked, confused when it turned out to be a tall
man with dark hair, wearing glasses and black clothes. He had what looked
like a medical skeleton at his side.

"Sorry to startle you like that but ... " All of a sudden the man's
glasses seemed to have fogged up and a silly grin replaced the small
smile he had earlier. "Oh e-excuse me Miss, heh heh heh. That was
just Betty-chan, my skeleton." He knocked over the skeleton as he
pointed to himself. "J-just my skeleton, heh heh heh..."

Ranma's face reddened as she covered her face in her hands. Akane said
she would be safe here!

"N-no need to be shy..."

"Ranma, I have the hot wat ... er?" Akane looked at the man's funny
expression shocked. An absolutely horrified expression appeared on her
face as she looked at Ranma, her face covered in her hands, then at the
man with his red face and fogged up spectacles.

Ranma peeked out at her from in between her fingers. "Gimme that!" she
shouted desperately, as she grabbed the bucket of hot water and leaped
out the open window.

Akane looked at the man miserably.

"W-who was your cute friend, Kasumi? I-is she single?"


~*~*~*~


Later on with Ranma changed back into a guy, he and Akane were running
to school. Except Ranma was running on the fence as if he were running
on normal ground. Akane looked at the ground depressed as she ran after
him.

"I thought I would be safe in there Akane! You said so!" Ranma accused.

Akane still had her head lowered. "I thought so too. I thought he was in
love with someone else?"

Ranma slowed down a bit as he looked down at her. "Huh? Fat lot you know
Akane. A guy's only in love until a more beautiful girl comes along."

Akane lifted her head, her eyes blazing dark fire. "Yeah, you should
know, Ranma! After all you are a guy! Or supposed to be one."

"Hey! This is from my experience as a girl here. Not from my own
actions." He looked at Akane again afraid that she would escalate into
violence.

However, Akane's steam seemed to have evaporated into a depressed air.
She looked at the ground again. "Anyway, that was Doctor Toufu, the
chiropractor. He takes care of our family's injuries."

Ranma was puzzled by Akane's behavior. Trying to look at Akane's down
turned face was hard to do from atop the fence. Suddenly he came to the
only fitting conclusion, aghast. "Don't tell me ... "

"Look Ranma, that's Furinkan High School ahead so don't talk to me now. I
don't want them to know that you're with me." She ran off towards the
front gates leaving Ranma behind.

Forgetting what he was thinking earlier, he looked at the dust cloud
Akane created. "Gee, thanks for the word of confidence Akane."

Ranma continued to walk on the fence wondering why Akane was running off
when suddenly the School's front doors slammed open, and hordes upon
hordes of boys poured out. They all seemed to be wearing either fighting
clothes or sporting equipment. Shouts of "Akane Tendo!" rang out.

"Akane look out! They all want to beat you!" one boy's voice proclaimed.

"I'm late, out of the way!" Akane shouted back, just before she jumped
right in the middle of the crowd.

The mob of boys seemed to engulf Akane in a cloud of dust and fighting.
Just as Ranma was about to jump from the fence and intercede thinking
that the men in Nerima were all psychotics, the cloud appeared to break
up with male students flying every which way, accompanied by screams of
pain.

Looking closely into the heat of the action, Ranma was surprised to see
Akane was actually beating up all her attackers. He winced as one guy
was actually hit so hard he flipped in the air three times before he
landed in the branches of a nearby tree.

After several more knockouts like this, Akane looked around to see the
last boy trying to tip-toe his way out. She elbowed him in the head
sending him into and through a brick wall.

"There!" Akane huffed with a satisfied smile on her face, breathing
hard after her work out. She glanced disdainfully at the male students
littered haphazardly about the area. Those that weren't unconscious yet
were quietly groaning in agony as they writhed about the floor before
succumbing to concussions.

"Umm, Akane what was that all about?" Ranma asked curiously. Inwardly
he was storing away Akane's technique for avoiding unwanted men. The
maximum violence approach seemed to work splendidly.


~*~*~*~


Behind a nearby wall, Nabiki waited for the perfect moment. In her hands
she clutched another bucket of cold water. This time I'll get it right,
she thought evilly.


~*~*~*~


"Such a churlish and ill-mannered lot to treat such a fair maiden."

Akane and Ranma turned to the new speaker. Ranma looked at the male
student curiously. He was a tall boy with brown hair in a Kendo outfit.
Twirling around one of his hands was a flower while the other held a
wooden sword.

"Should one of these louts beat you, my tender Akane, it seems that the
victor would be allowed to date with you," the tall boy continued.

Akane gave him a disgusted look. "Oh it's you, Kuno-sempai. And I
wonder who actually gave them that perverted idea?"

Kuno flicked the rose at her. "Fair maiden, Akane Tendo, such a prize is
not worthy unless one is better than the prize. Would you allow me the
grand honor of a duel? And I shall gift you with a date."

Akane caught the flower in her fingertips boredly. "Kuno-sempai, I..."

Ranma jumped down from the wall that he was watching from. "That lot of
boys suggests you do have 'some' appeal. Still the numbers involved is
nothing compared ... "

"Ranma, stay out of this. You wanna get hurt?"

Ranma looked at her, then at Kuno. "What's happening here Akane?"

"Just watch from that corner over there."

Kuno looked at them, lightly swinging his bokken. "Hey you! One should
not act so familiarly to the fair Akane Tendo. Only 'I' have that
honor."

Ranma looked at Akane helplessly.

"Lout! I was speaking to you."

"Uhhh ..." Ranma turned to face him.

"Yes, when one speaks to one's betters it is the custom to look at the
one who addresses him. Now then, who are you, oaf? Ahh but is it not
also the custom to provide one's own name initially? Very well then, to
my fellow peers, I am known as 'The Blue Thunder' of Furinkan High, but
you may address me as your Sempai."


~*~*~*~


Behind the wall where Nabiki and her friends were watching, one girl
asked, "Did I hear right? Blue Blunder?"

Another looked at her. "I haven't ever heard 'that' before. It sounds
fitting though. Nabiki?"

"Nope, that's a new one." Inwardly she tensed as she realized that the
perfect moment was coming ... the boys on the floor looked about to
regain consciousness.


~*~*~*~


Ranma was still looking at Kuno a little confused. "Huh? Well anyway,
its not like I can avoid speaking to Akane since I live with her at the
moment."

Kuno stiffened. "What? Lecherous Dog! I will teach you to live in sin
with my one and only Akane Tendo!" He took a step forward as he swung
his bokken aiming at Ranma's head.

However the blow failed to connect as Ranma leapt backward in somersault
leap easily avoiding the kendo sword. Still in midair he introduced
himself. "I am Ranma Saotome, heir to the school of Anything Goes Martial
Arts!" Before landing softly in front of the bewildered Kuno, he smoothly
removed his backpack and tossed it to Akane.

"That means challenge accepted!"


~*~*~*~


Nabiki jumped out of her hiding place. Now! she thought as she tossed the
bucket of water at Ranma's back.


~*~*~*~


Ranma shivered as the cold water hit him, er her. Where did that come
from ... she thought. Then sensing movement in front of her, she leapt
upwards.

Kuno, using the water's distraction rushed forward quickly. Flying
forward in an extemely quick leap, he swung his bokken in a horizontal
sweep intending to severe Ranma through the stomach. However when Kuno
next looked, his target was not there. Ha! I have disintegrated him!
But then sensing that something was wrong with that scenario, he looked
straight up to find ... someone ... standing tilted upwards along the
vertical bough of a tree. Then he promptly stopped thinking coherently
(For Kuno that is) as he got a good look.

Ranma jumped back down, landing softly. "Look, Kuno ... " she stopped as
she heard her soft feminine voice. Oh no. Kuno's sudden attack made her
forget she got hit with water. She looked around for any other boys who
might have seen her. Drat. All of Akane's admirer's were sitting up and
staring at her. When did they regain consciousness, she thought wildly.
She looked down at her wet red shirt and found her breasts sticking to
it, very visible. She blushed as she covered them with her hands. She
looked up to see that all the boys and Kuno were still looking at her.

Kuno kneeled looking at her in reverence. "Oh thank you Gods! That you
should bestow upon me what beauty could only be that of a heavenly
angel! My Golden Goddess!"

All of Akane's ex-admirers stared at Kuno in hatred. They silently vowed
that Kuno wouldn't get this one, not like that Aka ... what's-her-name.

"But I, I thought you liked Akane!?"

Kuno looked at her dazedly, still in awe of her beauty. "Akane? Who is
Akane? What is more of the utmost importance is your name my fair sweet
rose of sunlight."

"But I'm Ranma Saotome!"

Kuno stood up shocked. "That vile despoiler of femininity? Ah, but I see
now, he has got to you too! You have been spelled to love that sorcerer
Saotome so much you want to be him!" He swung his bokken angrily. "I
will not allow it! Where is that toad? No doubt he feared my prowess
with a sword. Nonetheless, since he is not here, you may date with me
my Golden Goddess!"

Ranma looked around wildly, her blond pigtail whipping side to side.
Escape! Must escape, she thought in panic. She looked at Akane. Akane's
mouth was open and didn't show any sign of closing in the near future.
No help there ... wait! She spotted Nabiki approaching. "Nabiki! Nabiki!
Help me!" Ranma cried out desperately.

Nabiki gave her a cool glance. "I can help diffuse the situation. But it
will cost you."

"What? You can't be serious!" Ranma shouted angrily.

"Very well then." She began to walk off.

Ranma looked back at the salivating Kuno and male students who were
still checking her out. "Okay, okay! How much?"

Nabiki stopped and turned around. "Five thousand."

"Here!" Ranma slapped the notes into her hand.

Nabiki walked towards the group of love struck boys. "Information about
our new student, blond, beautiful, the female Ranma Saotome! Only ten
thousand yen per tip!"

Kuno and the male students snatched their eyes away from Ranma.
"Information about the Golden Goddess?! Me first! Me!" They all crowded
around Nabiki.

Ranma looked at them disgustedly. "Jeez, I knew I should've just run
away. Akane?" Akane closed her open mouth and looked at her, still a
little overwhelmed. "Do you know where I can get some hot water?"
Ranma asked her.

Akane nodded. "The girl's bathrooms are right this way."

"The girl's bathrooms? Jeez!"


~*~*~*~


Later in the classroom, Ranma was sitting with Akane in the front desk.
However, she was 'still' female. "I can't believe it," she groaned. "ALL
the hot water taps at this god-forsaken school aren't working!" She
looked around and found that all the male students in the classroom were
still staring at her dreamily. She also noted all the glares the female
students were giving her.

Akane looked at her, also puzzled. "I don't understand it either. They
were all working last time I was at school. They couldn't have just all
broken like that."

"I just hope that the teacher is a female."

"Don't worry, Ranma, you don't have to worry about that," Akane
reassured her.

Just then, the teacher walked in. Ranma sighed in relief when she found
that her fears were unfounded. It was indeed a female teacher.

"Now people, we have a new student in our class. His name is Ranma
Saotome. I'd like you all to make him feel welcome," the teacher said,
glancing around to find him. "Now Ranma, why don't you stand up so we
can all get a good look at you."

Ranma hesitantly stood up. The teacher looked at her curiously. What a
beautiful young woman, she thought. Even all the boys are staring at
her. And judging from all the killing looks the female students are
giving her, they're all jealous.

"Err, Miss, I haven't seen you before. Are you new too?" she asked.

"Um, no, I'm Ranma Saotome."

"Huh? But it says here on this card that you are male. See this 'M'?"
She turned the card she was reading around to show the class. "It's
right next to your name. Means your a male. I guess it must be a typo.
Heh heh, there's no way you could be male."

"But, but, I really am a guy!" Ranma spluttered.

Akane stood up as well. "Yes Sensei, we know it doesn't look like it at
the moment but she, I mean he, really is a guy. We just need some hot
water but we couldn't find any before classes started."

The teacher, however, was not impressed.

"Ranma! I don't know what they taught you in whatever school's you've
been to before, but here at Furinkan, we do not allow backtalk to any of
the teachers! Stand outside! Akane, I can see you're encouraging her.
You can join her!"

Ranma and Akane walked outside disheartened.

One of the male students lifted up his hand.

"What is it Hiroshi?"

"Can we all go make Ranma feel welcome now, Sensei?"


~*~*~*~


In Nabiki and Kuno's classroom, the class was in an uproar. Crowds of
boys poured into the room to try to score some information about the hot
new female student, Ranma Saotome. The teacher was hiding beneath the
desk afraid she would get trampled.

Nabiki was gloating. It was a good idea of hers to sabotage all the hot
water taps at school before Ranma got here. Now he wouldn't be able to
get changed back and he would have to be registered as a girl. And that
meant more money for her. Heavens, if profits like this keep up, we'll
all be living in the lap of luxury soon, she thought. Ranma I love you,
or to be more specific, I love your hot little body which will sell like
hotcakes.

"So, Nabiki Tendo, tell me all that you know of the Golden haired one."
Kuno handed her another ten thousand yen. He knocked a boy on the head
who had gotten too close, with his bokken. "You there! Keep your
distance. This is all my information. Get your own spy."

"Now, now boys, wait in line," Nabiki admonished. She turned back to
Kuno. "Now then, Kuno-baby, I have got 'lot's' of juicy tidbits to share
with you, all for a fee of course. After all she is living with us."

"What! My Golden Goddess is living under the same roof as that sorcerer,
Saotome? Never! It is forbidden, so say I, Tatewaki Kuno!" He got up and
trampling some unfortunate boys, crashed out into the hallway.

Nabiki looked at her departing meal ticket. "Dammit! I had to say that."
Then she shrugged. "Oh well, next!"


~*~*~*~


Outside their classroom in the hallway, Akane shifted her grip on the
buckets of water she was carrying. "This is all your fault Ranma."

Ranma blew some strands of blond hair out of her eyes. "What? Why do you
blame me for everything?" She grumbled as she looked down at the buckets
of water she was carrying also. "Too bad it's just cold water in these
buckets."

"Well everything that happens is usually a direct result because of you.
So of course it's going to be your fault. If you never showed up I
wouldn't be in this engagement farce, I wouldn't suddenly become the
second best martial artist, the boys would still like me and
D-doctor T-of -" Akane cut herself off.

Hearing this, Ranma felt really guilty. She looked down at the floor. It
wasn't her fault she looked this way as a girl. If she had been born as
a girl, this is what she would've turned out like, so her appearance was
just an accident of birth. Except in this case it was an accident caused
by a goof ball parent. And Akane 'was' kind of cute, she didn't really
deserve to get suddenly thrust out of the limelight like that. "Well at
least you haven't got Kuno after you anymore - speak of the devil."

"Golden One! It is you! I would date thee!" Kuno charged down the
hallway at her.

Ranma tossed the buckets at him as he closed in on her, then ran off.
"Arrghhh! Get away!"

Kuno dodged them and ran in hot pursuit. "Is it that foul Saotome? I will
cleanse you of his vile memory!"

Akane dropped her buckets and followed after them. Why am I not
surprised, she thought to herself.

"Hey, no running in the hall!" one of the monitors shouted at them. They
ignored him.

"Kuno! I do NOT want to date you!" Ranma shouted back at her unwanted
admirer.

"But have I not told you, that it is a misbegotten spell that the
accursed Saotome has cast on you, my lovely?"

"For the last time, I am Ranma Saotome!" Then suddenly all at once, she
tripped over a table leg, sending a thermos that was on it flying. Hot
water spilled on the newly made 'him' as he fell forwards. Yes, he
thought. Now I can tell everyone I'm a guy ...y yaaaahh! He realized
that he was stumbling toward the open window.

"What was that Golden One?" Kuno asked as he came around the corner and
collided with him, sending them both out the open window.

Akane came to a stop before the open window. "Ranma! Watch out!" she
called out. "There's nothing down there but concrete!"

"Oh lordy," Ranma thought as he saw the oncoming grey earth rushing to
meet him. Desperately using an air twist he managed to rotate them
around so that Kuno would be the one to land first.

Kuno looked up at him puzzled "Hmmm? You are not my Golden Goddes-
Ouffff!!" The concrete ground cut him off as seconds later Ranma landed
on him to break his own fall on Kuno's body.

Ranma sighed in relief as he rolled off Kuno's stomach. That was a close
one, he thought.

Kuno, meanwhile, groaned in pain as he rolled out of the depression he
left in the concrete. "Saotome, it is you! I was looking for you, but my
fair Golden haired one distracted me from my true purpose. That is to
annihilate you, wizard! Then I can claim her as my one true love." He
rose on to his feet.

Ranma wearily arose also. "Look Kuno, I don't really got nothing against
you, except maybe your blind stupidity, but I'm telling you, man to man
that 'I' am your Golden Goddess."

Kuno's eyes widened. Finally, Ranma thought. I'm getting through to him!

Kuno stepped back in disgust. "Pervert! I am not that kind of man! for
the insult of coming on to me, I will teach you a lesson you will never
forget! Such a cruel person to enspell the Golden haired one into loving
you when it is boys that you like!"

Ranma growled. "That's it! I am not gay, you hear that? Me and the
Goldened haired one, are one and the same! Listen! We are one!"

Kuno narrowed his eyes. "Deceitful trickster! You pretended that it is
boys that you like to cover your trail when you are really after my one
true love! I won't have it! Ha!" He thrust his bokken at Ranma's chest.

"Oh I give up," Ranma said dodging to the side. A hole was punched in the
brick wall behind him.

"Silence cur, while I disembowel you!" Kuno shouted back as he stabbed
forward.

Ranma, easily avoided it, then grabbed the end of the outstretched wooden
sword and drew it in. Then within Kuno's guard he drew back his free hand
and punched him in the chest with it. Kuno's breath was knocked out as he
fell backwards.

"You just don't get it Kuno!"

Kuno staggered back then again rushed forward. "Fool! It is you that is
the one that is going to get it!"

This time, Ranma weaved through his offence like water, then jumped,
somersaulting over his attacker by using his index finger on Kuno's head
to pivot himself.

"Saotome! Where are yo- urrk!!" He was cut off by Ranma's foot connecting
with the back of his head. "I go to sleep now," he mumbled as he fell
forward unconscious.

Ranma sighed. "Finally - eee!!" Water splashed him from behind turning
him back into his cursed form. She turned around angrily.

Nabiki smiled at him, swinging her empty bucket. "Just in time." Akane
was also there staring daggers at him as usual.

"What are you talking about?"

Suddenly crowds and crowds of students poured into the courtyard. "Look
at that!" Shouts rang out. "She beat Kuno!"

"Them," Nabiki answered. "You wouldn't want me to lose my new money
machine now do you?"



--- End of Part 2.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


There, that was it. I hope you liked reading it and stuff. Volume 2
won't be out for a while coz of mid-year exams :-(. So bear with me
until then if you liked my story. Anyways seeyas!

Ace Sanchez.