Ranma 1/2
Happi Days: Second Week, Monday
  all char are (c) Takahashi Rumiko, with the exception
of Tetsuo, the crew of the smuggler ship 'ChaCha Maru'
and extraneous other characters thrown in for one scene
or less. Much thanks to all my pre-readers!
	so far: Ranma has gotten fed up with the whole
situation, an especially bad day, and was drugged by
Mousse with a mood-intensifier. He doesn't remember the
event of his departure too well, and has misinterpreted
what fragments of memory he has pulled up. He is 
currently in a small village in China, looking for an
expert on the Juusenkyo curses that he was told about
by the crew of the "ChaCha Maru"- a smuggler ship with
ties to the Amazon Village.
	Happosai has struck Furinkan High School, among
other places, with what he has been told is Juusenkyo
curse water from "Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride" -
along with a temporarily functioning version of the
Musk Dynasty's chiisatuon. This water, supposedly, will
permanently transform those splashed with it into 
beautiful young women with a cultural mindset fitting
the woman who drowned in that spring 1500 years ago.
Unfortunately for Happosai, he was doing all this to
gain revenge on Ranma, who is thousands of miles away
and completely oblivious of these events, having left
two days previously.
	Most of Nerima is beginning to feel the effects
of Happosai's vengeance, though indirectly, as well over
800 people have been hit by these attacks so far.
----------------------------------
	It was the dream again, replaying the events
of just last week. The teacher had just taken his
place at the front of the classroom and the scratching
sound of chalk and chalkboard was dominant over the
few whispered fragments of conversation going on in
the back of the class.
	There was the thunk, and he glanced up as he
heard a minute hissing noise from the sprinklers
overhead. His mind was screaming to move, but just as
on that day, his body was just sitting there at his
desk. Then came the water, spraying down over him and
his classmates.
	He felt the tingle all over as the water 
had splashed him, as the Change washed over him. Truly
the poets called this a sea-change, perhaps a reference
to this strange water that caused so much alteration.
	His hands, thickly calloused and strong, 
altering to become softer with slender fingers bereft
of the scars and callouses that he'd picked up over his
life. The tingling continuing as his clothes suddenly
tightened at the hips, his waist receding as mass was
redistributed. Pectorals vanishing, buried beneath the
soft sensitive mounds that pressed against the confines
of his shirt. The sensation of his manhood vanishing
and Something Else being formed there. Internal organs
shifting around as the flesh twitched horribly.
	The horror continued, much as it had that day,
with the itching as his hair immediately lengthened an
inch. The change continued, stretching and reshaping
bone and flesh into slightly different patterns.
	Tatewaki Kuno bolted upright in bed, knowing 
that her misery was being felt by others all over
Nerima. Kuno shuddered, she did not feel that misery 
particularly loved company, especially now.
	Strange the changes in her life recently, but
the changes to her father had been especially weird.
Instead of going with the usual gibberish about "bowl
cuts" or something equally inane, the principal had 
suddenly developed a measure of sanity.
	The old Furinkan girl's uniform had been 
discarded as being quite unflattering. A fuku style
was being brought in. While the guys might yet have 
to get their buzz cuts, no similar restrictions for 
the other gender would be sought.
	Tatewaki glanced at her own fuku. Strange, she
had originally railed against it, but it definitely 
grew on one. Meanwhile, a little light makeup and some
accessories really brightened up the whole appearance.
	Another side effect had been that Kodachi had
not been heard laughing for the past few days. She still
seemed to go into shock everytime her new sister and
now female father crossed her path. She'd taken to 
locking herself in her room every available minute.
	Tatewaki smiled and got dressed. She'd cheer her
sister up by fixing her something SPECIAL for breakfast
today!
	Whistling a love song that she'd heard just the
previous day, Tatewaki Kuno didn't realize exactly how
much of a change had occurred over the past week.
---------------
	Kasumi went through the mail quickly, stacking
the bills where Nabiki would later collect them, the
junk mail into a paper recycling basket, and Soun's
news magazine over by the shoji board where she'd find
it later.
	That left the postcard, and after admiring the
scene of Hong Kong's harbor for a moment, Kasumi turned
it over. When she saw Ranma's name, and that it was 
addressed to her, she quickly sat down. "Oh my."

Konnichi wa, Kasumi-chan,
	I wanted to let you all know I am well, and
am still searching for a cure. I imagine that Akane
(who has always been honest in how much she hates me)
and Nabiki (whose contempt for me was obvious from 
that first day) are both overjoyed at my continued
absence. With me gone, all is back to being quiet,
and the property values should slowly return to 
normal. Will write again when I find a cure.
Sincerely,
Ranma Saotome

	"Oh, Ranma, Ranma, Ranma." Kasumi sighed and
got up. There was no return address, but the store he
had mailed it from had stamped the upper right corner
with some Chinese script. Kasumi thought for a moment.
Doctor Tofu knew enough Chinese that he might be able
to translate it. Her own Chinese was not nearly that
detailed.
	Nabiki stuck her head out from the kitchen,
asking if they were all out of soy sauce. Kasumi 
shook her head. Since Nabiki had developed a sudden
interest in cooking, she had insisted on "helping"
in the kitchen whenever possible.
	Unfortunately, the desire did NOT bestow a 
sudden influx of talent. Kasumi realized that her
sister was just acting on the influence of the curse
that Happosai had inflicted the entire school with,
but she wasn't ready to deal with ANOTHER Akane.
	Not that Akane was doing that badly now.
She'd made it to mediocre cook since Ranma had 
first arrived, and in the past week had begun 
taking the recipes far more seriously without that
distressing tendency to "liven things up" that had
led to so many disasters in the past.
	Crossing herself, Kasumi paused before 
entering the kitchen. "Ara, Nabiki, that was NOT
soy sauce you've been using."
Commercial Break:-------------------
[Scene: a busy restraunt in down Nerima. Ukyou
 is seen smiling behind her grill.]
UKYOU: "Welcome to Ucchan's, where we make 
 okinomiyaki the way YOU like it. Only the 
 freshest ingredients are used, and it is 
 made hot and fresh right before you!"
[A placard appears before the screen.]
UKYOU: "Fill out a card explaining to Ranchan
 why he should choose his CUTE fiancee and get
 20% off the price of your lunchtime special!"
[A map showing the location of Uuchan's replaces
 the placard on the special.]
UKYOU: "So come on down to Ucchan's: As you like it!"
End Commercial Break:--------------------
	Mousse smiled and stuck her hands out to either
side. "I slice, I dice, I make Julienne fries!" Knives
flashed as the chicken and potatos were uniformly cut
into thin strips.
	"Very good Mousse," Cologne noted.
	"Who is Julienne Fries?"
	Mousse and Cologne stared briefly at Shampoo
before turning back to the breakfast special.
	"You see, Mousse, by cutting the vegetables and
meat into thin strips like this, they cook quickly and
evenly."
	"Yes, obachan!" Mousse was happy, getting 
lessons in something as useful as cooking from a master
like Cologne was just SO wonderful.
	Cologne caught Shampoo's motion and stepped out 
into the dining room.
	"Yes great-grand-daughter? With the frying and
the fans, Mousse will not be able to overhear us. What
do you want?"
	"Why Mousse acting funny? He not grab me or 
anything, he happy to be cooking, he acting very 
strange. Almost like proper Amazon husband."
	"YOU avoided being splashed, child, but it is
the Juusenkyo water at work here."
	"It no affect Ranma like that."
	"Ranma was affected by 'Spring Of Drowned Girl'
which only causes him to change genders. His female form
is exactly what he would have looked like if his parents
had had a daughter instead of a son. This Spring is 
more complicated."
	"What spring?"
	"I got Nabiki to e-mail the village elders 
(who did you think ran www.amazon.com?) and
they confirmed that the Musk Dynasty had supplied 
Happosai from the 'Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride'-
where a nobleman's young bride died some 1,500 years
ago while running from a bandit."
	"Aiyaa. What that do?"
	"Those struck with the water of THAT pool
become beautiful young girls, which is why Happi was
so anxious to get THAT water. No doubt he learned of
it and requested it specifically. Not only do they
physically transform, but there is a mental change as
well. A strong will and experienced mind can hold the
change off indefinitely, as I shall be able to.
	"Those whose will is not focussed, whose minds
are weak, or who would go that route anyway, will
change faster than those who are not."
	"Aiya, so Mousse was wimp..."
	"Mousse's mind was not sufficiently strong
to hold out against the change. He now views you as
another girl, and has fallen out of love with you as
a result. On the plus side, his social standing as
a woman in the village will be higher than it was."
	"Aiyaaa." Shampoo managed to look a little
green. "So Mousse now think he a she. Well, maybe he
at least leave Shampoo alone now."
	Cologne nodded. "I wonder how the others who
were affected are handling all this?"
------------------------------
	Ryouga had had better days, walking up to the
school, he slowly confirmed that the sign read "Fu-ri-n
kan Senior High School" then glanced back into the 
courtyard. "This can't be right," he muttered.
	It was Ranma's fault. It had to be. For whatever
reason he'd switched the signs with another high school
and was probably laughing at him somewhere. Ryouga
growled.
	"Ryouga-sama!"
	Another strange woman in one of those dark blue
sailor fuku was waving at him and grinning like a maniac.
How did all these women know him, anyway?
	"Ah, Ryouga Hibiki, surely a name to conjure
with, pure poetry in motion such as you are?"
	Ryouga blinked as he regarded the tall woman
in the white and blue fuku, carrying a bokken of all
things. What the heck?
	"Uhm, do I know you? Miss?"
	"Ah, you did indeed, Ryouga-kun. One takes it
that you do not peruse the pedestrian tabloids or
partake of that idiocy known as television?"
	"Ah-hah." Ryouga briefly entertained the notion
that this was actually Furinkan Asylum and he'd completely
misread the kanji. "I've kinda been out of town."
	"Know then, that you are facing the rising star
of the kendo club, the Blue Rose Of Furinkan High 
School, Tatewaki Kuno."
	"Yeah, right. Uh-huh." Ryouga nodded. Definitely
an asylum. "And this is where you tell me..."
	"If I beat you, then I shall date thee!"
	<SLAM!>
	Ryouga was opposed to hitting girls on general
principle. Girls attempting to slam a hardwood bokken
into his head, after making thoroughly insane statements
were not included in the "do not hit" category.
	Besides, if it WAS Kuno or even vaguely related
to Kuno, he could make an exception.
	"Ryougaaaaaaaa!"
	"Akane?!" Ryouga looked around, trying to find
her. He heard her voice, or was that merely his love for
her echoing within his heart? Immediate guilt as the
thought of Akari crossed his mind. This is Ryouga, even
when something's going right he'll find a way to be
depressed or guilty about it.
	"Ryouga! It's good to see you again, I'm glad
you didn't get caught up in this mess!"
	Ryouga blinked. This woman who had come up to
him did look a lot like Akane, but she had longer hair,
was wearing one of the dark blue fukus, and was...
	"Akane?!?"
	The woman flipped back her hair back from over
her shoulder. "Of course, it's me, silly."
	"You're wearing makeup? Nail polish? Earrings?!"
Ryouga's mind was going into overload. Too many things 
did NOT compute. 
	"Oh, Ryouggaaaaa!"
	Ryouga glanced over to his right and noticed
a small CROWD of girls eyeing him over. The only time
he saw any woman looking at a guy like that was when
Shampoo or Ukyou were trying to make the moves on Ranma.
	"Akane," Ryouga managed when he could force
suddenly dry lips to speak again. "Would you mind 
telling me exactly what is going on here?"
	"I would, Ryouga-chan, but they're going to
start the Family Planning class soon!" Akane's eyes
glittered as she considered all the wonderful things
they might cover today.
	"Urk. Pardon me." Ryouga thought that being 
near Akane was a slice of paradise, but he was suddenly
feeling very much in need of something that made sense.
Akane taking courses in Parenting? Of course, considering
her father, who could blame her?
	"And then later there's Cooking, Cosmetology,
and...oh Ryouga, school is just so much more FUN now."
	Ryouga started scanning the skies. He'd seen
enough American SF movies to know one of three things
was going to happen any moment now:
  a)  Rod Serling was going to step out from behind one
of these trees, or
  b)  the alien body-snatchers that had replaced Akane
and the rest of the school with these overendowed and
badly programmed replacements were going to show up and
suck out his brains. OR
  c)  the Candid Camera crew would finally realize
that he was on to them, and they'd get on to doing 
this to someone who'd really believe this junk. Maybe
Ranma, who'd really freak.
	Ryouga smiled at the "Akane" and nodded. "Sure,
'Akane', go ahead and get to class. I'll wait around
for you, heh heh."
	Akane looked momentarily puzzled, then turned
on that dazzling smile. She ran in just before the bell
started to ring and the large group of girls ran inside
as well.
	Ryouga, of course, immediately started trying
to figure out where the camera crew was. For once, he
just sat down under a tree and got ready for a long
wait. It had been a long week.
-----------------------------
	Hiroshi's mother had always wanted a daughter.
Therefore, when the news report had come out about 
"Nightmare at Furinkan" she had been of two minds about
the whole thing.
	Then had come the perpetrator of the event,
saying that it was:
   a) permanent
   b) carried mental effects
This pretty much settled her mind as to how to handle
the whole thing.
	She'd quickly settled into teaching her daughter
how to properly act and dress. Hiroshi had started out
protesting loudly and with great passion. Hiroshi had
gradually become more sullen, and still muttered a few
complaints under her breath.
	Mrs. Hyojun watched her daughter sulking as she
brushed out her hair. The hair had been one of those
things that fascinated Shoko Hyojun, the way that it
seemed to grow another few inches every day. Within
three days it was well over a foot longer, it was much
finer and shinier than it had been. By the end of the
week it had seemed to slow to near normal growth rates
but was over three feet in length.
	Mrs Hyojun was pleased with how well Hiroshi was
handling the changes in her life, maybe it was time to
change her name to Hiroko. She didn't want to overwhelm
her daughter with too much change all at once though,
she'd heard a couple of children had to be restrained
from throwing themselves off the school's clock tower.
Fortunately they'd managed to stop everyone but that
Tsubasa character, and SHE was currently being chased
all over Nerima by some sort of legendary lecher 
that attended Tomobiki High School.
	Hiroshi nodded to her mother, then made her way
to the furo. Mrs Hyojun watched her daughter and smiled,
she knew Hiroshi could hardly wait to get out of that 
fuku. She wondered if Hiroshi knew how cute she looked
in it. Not that she thought that her former son was
ready for that information.
	The scream of anguish from the furo brought
her running, it had been the sound of someone who had
just gone into Full Panic.
	When she entered the bathing room, there was
Hiroshi looking down at herself and whimpering. "Mom,
I'm...bleeding. From there."
	Seeing what was going on, Shoko gave her 
daughter a reassuring smile. At least it was meant to
be reassuring. "Now dear, this is perfectly normal,
though I didn't really expect this to happen so soon."
	"SO SOON!" Hiroshi all but screamed. "I'm 
hemorraghing here damnit! I'm bleeding from THIS THING!"
	Shoko Hyojun continued to speak calmly and
quietly. She hadn't panicked herself when it had 
happened to her, but she'd also had many more years to
get used to the idea of being of the female persuasion.
"It's perfectly normal for a girl your age."
	"I'm a guy," Hiroshi didn't sound too convinced
of that at the moment. Being able to see herself in the
mirror didn't help any.
	"Dear, you're a girl now, and everything I've
heard says that's the way you'll be for life." Shoko
nodded as Hiroshi stared at her, the general impression
was of Hiroshi-the-deer caught in the oncoming 
headlights. "You're just having your period. Your body
is saying it is ready to make babies."
	"My..." Hiroshi somehow managed to turn even
paler and begin to sweat as THAT penetrated. Shoko could
see the idea settle into the girl's mind. Guys didn't
have periods. Guys did not have babies. Guys also did
not have their mothers talking them through their first
period. Hiroshi's mind abruptly clicked to the OFF
position. He didn't faint, but a telepath attempting to
read his mind would have gotten a test pattern and a
tiny little voice going over her mother's statement in
a closed loop.
	Seeing her daughter was holding up better than
she had originally feared, Mrs Hyojun began to explain
the mysteries of the tampon and what a Wonderful Thing
This Actually Was. She seemed encouraged by the
occasional nod, not realizing that her child was
currently on Autopilot (so to speak) and continued going
on the lecture titled Female Plumbing 101.
	Hiroshi WAS listening, on one level. The rest
of her currently disorganized thought processes were
still racing around in that aforementioned closed loop.
The only breaks in that stream were "This can't be
happening, I'm a guy!" and another one that came out
with "I can't believe I was ever envious of Ranma."
-------------------------
	In a small village thousands of miles away,
Ranma sneezed again. He wondered who the heck was
thinking of him so frequently that he'd been acting like
he had a major allergy season for the past few days.
	He shrugged and decided Nabiki was probably 
still trying to find ways to profiteer off his absence,
and Akane was angry that her favorite punching bag was
nowhere to be seen.
	Ranma smiled and ate slowly. He didn't miss
Nerima very much at all. He would have to go back,
honor demanded he do something about all the problems
he had. Master Po had given him something to think
about as well.
	Shampoo could not return to her home without
him. She either had to kill him, or marry him. The 
least punishment was exile. To be trapped in her cat
form forever was one of the more likely punishments.
The worst would be something Master Po had refused to
speak of directly. Ranma gathered it was a way to alter
the Jusenkyo curse, where Shampoo would be far worse
than if she were merely a cat.
	This complicated things. Ukyou and Shampoo
both SAID they loved him. Ukyou, the friend he could
always rely on, who would be crushed if he broke off
his engagement to her. Honor demanded that he marry
a Tendo because that was the oldest engagement. Honor
demanded that he marry Ukyou because his father had
accepted the DOWRY and therefore that claim had as
much weight as the older one. Then there was this new
development with Shampoo.
	At least it was easier to think about all this
here, without new fiancees showing up or his father
creating new hassles for him. Ranma sighed and went
back to work. There was a certain pleasure to be found
in creating something, and he was learning carpentry
at this new job. At least he had skills to fall back
on, now.
---------------------------
	
ja ne,
gregg sharp, kuroni no koi?