Happi Days Are Here Again 1
by Gregg Sharp     final draft
all characters are (c) Rumiko Takahashi, don't sue me
as a) i don't have any money,
   b) hiring me would be more profitable in
      the long run anyway.

Juusenkyo,1998: a cloudy night
	A short figure is discussing some matter with
a somewhat taller person.
	"I don't care what you're going to use it for,"
the taller figure said. "All I care about is revenge on
Ranma Saotome and the others!"
	"Cursed springwater from Juusenkyo," the short
man said nodding. "Concentrated down to its maximum
potency. Say, what would happen if I used it in the
concentrated form?"
	"Nothing. You have to add at least three parts
water to the concentrate for it to have an effect. The
regular mix is ten parts water. Dilute it any further
and the effects become temporary, giving the Juusenkyo
curse but only for a few years at best." The moon
peeked from behind a cloud, revealing a slightly older
Herb of the Musk Dynasty.
	"Is there any way, save the Chiisatuon to lock
them in the cursed form, or change their personality?"
Happosai was revealed as the short figure. "After all,
we both have grudges against Ranma."
	"It is ONLY because of that fact," explained 
Herb as darkness moved across the field again, "that
I am helping you at all. Phoenix Mountain has assisted
in this, as many of their citizens have also reason to
hate Saotome and all he has done.
	"That is why you have this." A large wooden
ladle was handed to Happosai.
	"Ah, a copy of the Chiisatuon? Sweet." Happosai
smiled as he took the ladle, an evil smile on his face.
"This locks them in their form, but what about the 
personality?"
	"Hit them with the right water using THAT, 
and you lock them in the form of a young girl forever.
Actually, Happosai, I'm surprised you didn't think of
this. There is a Spring Of Virtuous Man, but did you
not think that there would be other springs of a similar
nature? After all, there are 131 different springs in
this valley, and only thirteen springs lack a template."
	"Spring Of Virtuous Woman?" Happosai couldn't
see where that would be a particularly good vengeance.
	"Actually there was a young bride who drowned
in one of the other pools one thousand two hundred
years ago. Until you supplied us with things like
electric water pumps and rubber permaseal hoses, it
was not easy to get to it, however. Now, we drained it
twice, concentrated and distilled it, and will use the
future waters for our own purposes. You, however, have
the task of transporting forty gallons of concentrated
Juusenkyo Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride water back to
Japan."
	"Which will make four hundred gallons of the
curse water," said Happosai happily. "That MIGHT be
enough for my plans."
	"Whatever," Herb gave a wave of his hand.
"This concludes our business. You'll find the casks
of concentrate at the end of the Valley by dawn, and
you already have the copy of the sacred ladle. I will
warn you that the psychological effects are NOT going
to be immediate, however. Depending on the strength of
will, it could potentially take months for the effects
to take place. As long as they are locked in that form,
they WILL convert eventually. The identity remains the
same, as will memories, but the cultural attitudes and
overall personality will eventually conform to the
template."
	"It's perfect," Happosai said and began to
laugh. He barely noticed when Herb left.
	----------------
Events were already moving that made Happosai's job
of revenge more difficult than he had planned.
	"OYAJI!" The main gate to the Tendo-ke fell
off its hinges and slid a few feet towards the house.
	Genma and Soun Tendo looked over to where 
Ranma was standing. Ranma had numerous little cuts,
bruises, one sizable bruise covering one side of his
face, what looked like a few burned patches on his
clothing, and a missing patch of hair showing the
reddish brown of recently dried blood on the piece
of scalp thus revealed.
	[Excuse me?]
	"Does the name HARENCHI ring any bells with
you?"
	The sign flipped. [I don't recall.]
	"You sold me AGAIN!"
	"Genma, you didn't!" Soun snarled.
	"Oh yes, he DID. To make matters worse, guess
who sold the information to one Yohko Harenchi?" Ranma
glared around until he spotted Nabiki. "HOW MUCH DID
YOU GET FOR THAT INFORMATION!"
	"5000 yen, a steal at that price."
	Battle aura flared, the same shade of blue
that Akane usually manifested. Nabiki blinked. Ranma
didn't hit girls, however she had never seen him this
close to completely losing control.
	"First she shows up and challenges me to a
battle. Did you know she uses whips, chains, manacles,
and various 'accessories' in battle! I wasn't sure if
she was going to kill me from sheer embarrasment there!"
	 Genma-p held up a sign, however it seemed to
explode for no adequately explored reason. Perhaps the
smouldering aura surrounding Ranma's right fist had 
something to do with it.
	"After wrecking a good part of the school,
Kodachi comes swinging in, decides she likes the whip
concept too, after all it is CLOSE to her ribbon, and
I have another sick twisted woman trying the 'hundred
lashes' attack on me." Ranma lashed out, a spin kick
that tore through another sign that Genma had pulled
out, and slammed into the panda's head. "Then at lunch
Shampoo comes by with some ramen, Ukyou with some
okinomiyaki, and Akane starts giving me grief about
Yohko, Ukyou, Shampoo, PLUS some girl named Kotono that
I've never heard of!"<SWEEPING SIDE KICK>
	"I see fuse bombs coming in the middle of all
this, courtesy of that damn Chemistry CLub, and I knock
Akane to the ground when they go off. What does my 
wonderful fiancee do?"<KICK> "She starts beating on me
for being on top of her! Shampoo glomps me, Ukyou starts fighting
with Shampoo, and Akane" <KICK> "starts malleting me
and tells me in great detail" <KICK> "how much she
HATES me."<KICK> "Ryouga hears this, and starts doing
his" <KICK> "Breaking point technique" <SIDE KICK> "to
make me pay for making Akane upset." <SPINNING BACK 
KICK>
	"I....HAVE....HAD...IT!" <DROP KICK> This was
made more impressive in that Genma's panda form was
considerably more massive than Ranma. "THE ENGAGEMENTS,
ALL OF THEM, ARE OFF!"
	Soun had watched this display impassively until
this last line. Then the demon head trick again came
into play. "How Dare You, Sa-o-to-me!"
	Ranma glared at him. "Try me, Mister Tendo. Just
try it. I am in no mood for your theatrics, and I just
do not care about your feelings, nor anyone else who has
been manipulating me for the past three years. That is
it, that is all, no more!"
	Soun stopped. He was angry, but not so much
that a survival instinct didn't immediately make 
itself known. He was sufficiently close enough to
Ranma to feel heat actually coming off of the younger
boy, so angry was he.
	Nabiki snorted. "Oh, come on, now, Ranma, you
don't really expect me to believe..." <THUNK>
	Without appearing to move, Ranma was suddenly
behind Nabiki and touched a set of pressure points on
her back. She abruptly stopped moving.
	"I'm leaving," he informed the paralyzed Nabiki
"I am NOT coming back, and if you really want me to get
pissed off, you will PERSONALLY regret it."
	Nodding at Kasumi, Ranma walked upstairs. A few
moments later he was back down, his backpack over one
shoulder. "Kasumi, let Dr Tofu know I've hit her
paralysis spots. To YOU I want to say I'm sorry, you've
never hit me, you've never abused my trust, you've 
never insulted or belittled me."
	Kasumi smiled. "Take care, Ranma."
	He nodded, still not smiling, and left the
Tendo-ke without a single glance back.
	Kasumi watched him leave, turned back to Nabiki
and quietly hit a series of spots along her paralyzed
sister's back. Nabiki abruptly collapsed as her muscles
relaxed all at once. 
	"Don't try to move just yet, Nabiki, your 
muscles will need a few moments to recover from that."
	"Urrrrggghhh."
	"You know you were quite fortunate, with his
being drugged like that, he could easily have hit the
wrong areas and paralyzed your heart muscles as well."
	"Drugged..." Nabiki managed from the floor.
	"Drugged?" Soun Tendo asked quietly.
	Kasumi shrugged. She hadn't read all those
medical books and studied Chinese Medicine without
learning a few things. "There were signs...I hope I
wasn't mistaken."
	"Yes, as a matter of fact he WAS drugged."
Cologne said. "NOT by Shampoo, however."
	"Who then?" Soun wasn't quite sure whether to
believe Cologne or not. Still, any explanation that
might make this a temporary situation was something
he was willing to listen to.
	"Mousse." Cologne moved into view from where
she had been hidden in the shadows. "Mousse found
an antidote for Passion Spice, and thinking that
Shampoo had drugged son-in-law's ramen, added the
Passionate Spice. Right now, son-in-law's emotional
state will be very volatile over the next twelve hours.
No matter what the emotion, he will experience it in
the extremes beyond anything he has felt before. While
it would merely counteract Passion Spice if that was
present, this Spice by itself will cause him to 
swing from extreme to extreme until the drug works its
way through his system."
	"Oh my," Kasumi managed. "If Akane should
mallet him NOW."
	"We gotta warn her..." Nabiki got up slowly
from the floor. She abruptly sat back down as various
groups of muscles advised her that this was a Bad Idea.
"Still, it's not as if he doesn't have SOME control. 
If he were that bad, I'd probably be dead right now."
	"True," Cologne nodded. "Son-in-law does have
his honor and some degree of discipline. I would not
want to be present, however, when those restraints are
broken. A berserker is not a pleasant companion."
	Everyone thought seriously about the possibility
of Ranma-the-Berserk-Killer and shuddered. Kasumi 
immediately called Doctor Tofu who could help find 
Akane and warn her.
	Cologne continued her search for Shampoo. Nabiki
went to sell info to Ukyou, Kuno, and Ryouga. Soun 
watched Genma slowly crawl out of the yard to the shogi
board. This would be a long night, and not a gentle one
to his nerves.
	"Wait a minute, Saotome!" Soun stopped abruptly.
"If ANY emotion is made stronger by this Spice, we can
use this opportunity to have Ranma confess his love to
Akane!"
	[I don't know. Look what happened when we
tried to get the two of them drunk.]
	"Oh, that was a just a FLUKE. Besides, only
one of them is affected this time!"
	The sign flipped. [You DO remember what 
happened when they got drunk, don't you?]
	"Ranma spent three hours blubbering about
not being able to see his mother, and Akane grabbed
that large knife and was saying something about 
making both Ranma's forms women. She calmed down..."
	[She passed out.]
	"Oh yeah. Well, Ranma did hit you rather hard
didn't he?" Soun thought about it. "Well, then, why
don't we see what we can get from this Chinese Medicine
catalog the Master stole from the Nekohanten?"
	[As long as it doesn't involve finding that
ungrateful boy tonight.] The sign flipped down. Genma
was feeling rather like a throw rug at the moment.
------------------------------------
	A day went by, and then another. There was 
still no sign of Ranma. Things quieted down some
around the Tendo dojo, with the exception of Tatewaki
Kuno's renewed attacks on Akane, Gosunkugi's purchase
of the 'CookBook Of Chinese Alchemy For Beginners',
and Soun scraping together enough money to mail order
some odd things like 'Love Potion 69' and 'Golden
Passion Dust Elixir.'
	(Both Soun and Genma ignored the warnings
for both potions. The Love Potion warning dealt with
"potential" side effects, and the Elixir warned that
continued use would be habit-forming.)
	(Meanwhile, Gosunkugi had discovered that the
book itself was in Chinese and the available Chinese-
Japanese dictionaries weren't really that much help.)
------------------------------------
	"I'm back...." Happosai said quietly. He'd
spent some time readying THIS nasty. Still, he was
sure to get Ranma with this, and most likely 
everyone would BLAME Ranma for their sudden
transformation. That this would be such wonderful
eye candy for him would also be perfect.
	He waited for just after the bell announcing
the start of the second class, where the number of
people outside their classrooms would be minimum.
	First he'd disconnected the sprinkler system
and drained it. Then he'd used the dipping bucket to
refill the pipes, blocked the ends, and then done a
little sabotage on sprinkler heads from one end of 
Furinkan Senior High School to the other.
	With a laugh and images of what would happen
to fuel him on, he reconnected the water pipes, and
water pressure slammed through the pipes a moment
later.
	Happosai felt a moment's regret, after all
this had used most of the four hundred gallons that
he could make with current supplies. As he heard the
shrieks and screams coming from inside, though, he
felt the results would be worth it.
	Happosai moved away, just avoiding a janitor
who came racing out of the building to turn the water
off again. Happosai watched as the woman in ill-fitting
clothing struggled with the shut off valve without the
upper body strength that she had used to have.
	Happosai looked towards the door and realized
that staying behind to gloat might not have been a 
good move. A number of students had seen him. As he
bounded away, he considered this almost as good. So
Ranma wouldn't be blamed for this, but Ranma WOULD know
who had trapped him in female form.
	Behind him a small crowd had formed, with some
of them going into shock, others angry, still others
(a distinct minority and already wearing school dresses)
were admiring the changes in their figures.
	Hiroshi-chan peeled her wet shirt away from her
breasts and glanced miserably over at Daisuke-chan. 
"I don't envy Ranma nearly as much as I used to."
	Daisuke-chan nodded, equally miserable. "So it
was Happosai who did this..."
	The name was picked up by others who repeated
it. More former guys made the transition from shocked
and babbling to thoroughly pissed. When the discovery
was made that hot water had no effect, battle auras
began to flare.
	Search-and-destroy parties were quickly 
organized and dispatched.
------------------------------------
	A small crowd of people, gaijin by the look of
them, were standing outside the Nerima Animate store.
Happosai chuckled a little. He'd noticed how well
built some of those students had looked, and was quite
curious what the effect on gaijin would be like.
	The device looked an awful lot like a dayglo
flamethrower. He'd had to take some waterproof caulking
and reseal a number of the joints, as even tiny little
leaks were not something he'd wanted to deal with.
	"Two minutes still to opening," one of the
gaijin was saying as he glanced at a watch.
	<SHOOM!> Happosai landed on the other side
of the small and now wet crowd. Another five gallons
down, he noted. Flipping up and over to the roof of
a building, he turned to witness the results of his
work. "Sweet-o." Happosai immediately went to the
other device he had and started snapping photographs.
This was a dream come true, he couldn't believe he
hadn't thought of something like this before. All he
had to do was escape before those below finished
climbing up the side of the building to rip him apart.
	Snapping two more photos, Happosai vanished.
He left behind a note saying that if they wanted to
turn back, they needed to take it up with Ranma Saotome.
	Unfortunately, very few of those reading the
note were that good at kanji, and those that were 
had little doubt that this was some sort of trap.
	When a search-and-destroy party of young high
school girls showed up, the truth came out, and a
somewhat larger party left with visions of beating
a little old man like a pinata filling their heads.
	Of course, that still left a small group of
wet and badly dressed young women who proved that 
they were indeed otaku, for nothing this minor would
keep them from their shopping trip. One in particular
was thinking that the Sailor Moon fuku in the window
looked just TOO kawaii.
--------------------------------
	Meanwhile, on a small boat, hundreds of miles
away, a pigtailed girl sat up and wondered where the
hell she was. Why did she have this empty space in her
memories, where she vaguely remembered yelling at the
Tendos. She'd stalked off then, she remembered THAT 
much. Then she'd had the panic attack and had started
to run. Everything was a blur after that.
	Finally a vague memory of crawling aboard a
ship and hiding as fear had just increased beyond all
concious thought. Ranma sighed, she had to have been
drugged, that was the only thing that made any sense
to her.
        Ranma wondered what was happening back in
Nerima. No doubt everyone was far happier without her
around anyway. Akane always hitting her, Nabiki always
using her, and all the people who saw her as an object
or as some prize to be won. It didn't matter if she was
a he or a she at the time, it just changed who was doing
it at the time.
	Ranma decided she wouldn't go back just yet,
she really needed some quiet time to think, and she just
could not see that happening back at the old stomping
grounds.
===============================
    this is the break due to mail limits through
AOL. Next chapter deals with the first day of school for
the newly christened school body.
terms:____
    BISHOJO: "beautiful girl" usually refers to one of
around High School age.
    FUKU or SEIFUKU:  school uniform, particularly one
of the girl's sailor suit varieties.
    FURO: a Japanese style bath. there is usually a
small room for changing clothes, an area for washing
or rinsing off (cold water), and a tub of hot water for
soaking in after having cleaned off.
    KAWAII: cute. Cute has considerable cultural 
significance in Japan. See also Tokyo Cosplay Girls 
page for examples. (on my anime links page)
    OTAKU: fanboy. Outside of Japan means simply someone
who is a fan. In Japan it is rather more insulting and
means someone who is fanatically obsessed. There are
racecar otaku, anime otaku, hentai otaku, sewing otaku,
cosplay otaku, financially focussed otaku, etc.
    PASSION SPICE: a fanfic convention, not in TOS,
a form of aphrodisiac.
    PASSIONATE SPICE: something invented for this 
fanfic. It can nullify passion spice, but if no passion
spice is present serves to cause extreme mood swings 
and suppresses one's normal inhibitions.
    TOS: The Original Series. Note that there are 
conflicts between the manga and the anime, and that 
there are instances in both where even the official
version of the character is acting Out Of Character
from the rest of the series. (Both Ranma and Ukyou in
the Reversal Jewel episode immediately come to mind.)
-----------
another project added:

Interesting Times (Ranma/Xover/Original)
  Just before his marriage to Akane, Ranma wishes 
someone else had his problems. Toltiir hears and grants 
the wish. Ranma still has all of his problems though, 
they've just been duplicated four times and hit various
other characters. Ryouga is one. The storyline focusses
on number two, an American who suddenly finds himself 
with the same sort of problems Ranma has. The names,
curses, faces, etc are different but the overall effect
is generally the same. The major changes are how this
character deals with the various problems in his life
and how to resolve them. The title, of course, reflects
the curse of "may you live in interesting times."