The Art____Chapter 3: 
         School Is No Place For Hexing Around

by GreggSharp     Metroanime@aol.com
  Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created
by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by
Fred Perry, Sailor Moon (c) VIZ.
  i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we
can BOTH make money.
  part 2 was going to be the last, since there are so
many "Ranma Mage" stories apparently being worked on,
but due to some positive response, i'll be waiting to
see if the other stories parallel mine before i 
discontinue this story arc.
------------------------------------
	"School, huh?" Ranma shrugged. "What kinda
school?"

	"Just pretend you DON'T know me," Akane glared
at him.

	"Akane right, Ranma, Shampoo take you to school.
Or maybe you want play hookey?"

	"Now, now, Shampoo. No pressure, remember?" 
Nabiki smiled thoughtfully. "Though some of my business
transactions could be helped along by appearing to have
a friendly affectionate side..."

	"Everybody know Nabiki, nobody buy that."

	Nabiki pouted, then shrugged. Shampoo might
have a point.

	"Ranma," Kasumi stepped up to hand Ranma's
lunch to him, delicately blushing as her fingers 
brushed his as he took it from her.

	Ranma froze up again. It occurred to almost
everyone present that he could fight demons from hell,
deal with misshapen creatures of Faerie, and face down
evil sorcerers without a qualm. Just one shyly flirting
girl though, and he started falling apart.

	Shampoo and Nabiki exchanged a look, nodded,
then each grabbed an arm and started dragging Ranma
off to school.

	"Boys," Akane muttered as she shook her head
at the insanity of it all.

	Ranma finally started walking under his own
power, and Nabiki and Shampoo seemed at a loss for 
something to say. Ranma reviewed the spells he had
handy and wondered about the mechanics necessary for
a Repel Water spell. Maybe a weave of Air and Fire,
or Spirit and Air.

	When they came within sight of the school,
Ranma stopped. A crowd of boys was visible, and most
had weapons of some kind. "What the..."

	"Stay out of this, this is my fight!" Akane
ran forward, joined a moment later by Shampoo.

	A boxer rushed forward to be first. "Akane Tendo
I love you!" <CRUNCH!>

	Nabiki passed Ranma, then glanced back. Ranma
was seemingly mesmerized by how Shampoo turned a fight
with a mob into a dance. Shaking her head, she went
up to her classroom.

	Ranma was fascinated by the different styles
of combat. Akane used some skill, but relied on her
telekinetically enhanced strength more than anything
else. Akane literally threw her opponents around as
a juggernaut of destruction.

	Ranma turned his gaze to Shampoo. The amazon
leapt, twirled, and spun in such a way that opponents
often found themselves attacking each other while their
target had just vanished before them. Shampoo relied
mainly on speed and skill, occasionally striking 
pressure points as she passed. Akane's fight was a 
free-for-all, Shampoo's fight was a ballet.

	<CRUNCH!>

	Ranma winced as the fight went from Swan Lake
to The Nutcracker. "That's gotta hurt."

	Akane finally stood atop a mound of apparently
broken and bleeding bodies. Shampoo made a graceful 
landing after having done a flying suplex on one of
her opponents, apparently deciding that if it was worth
doing, it was worth doing gracefully.

	"Showoff," muttered Akane to Shampoo as she
approached her adopted sister. "Just have to show off
in front of your iinazuke, don't you?"

	"Like Akane not more violent than ever," said
Shampoo in the same quiet tone. "Not that Akane would
show ai ren how good a fighter she is."

	Ranma clapped and walked over to Shampoo,
clearly impressed. "That was great, I don't think I've
ever seen that Amazon Nerve Pinch performed through
plastic shoulder pads before."

	Shampoo blushed and looked down. "Aiyaaaaa."

	"Oh please," Akane managed to look nauseated.
"Be still my stomach."

	A single red rose slapped through the air, to
be stopped as if it hit an invisible wall three feet
from Akane. The rose then smouldered briefly before
burning with a great amount of foul smoke.

	Kuno stepped out from the trees and stopped in
the middle of a pose. "How earthlier happy is the rose
distilled, than the rose which on the virgin thorn,
grows, withers, and dies in single blessedness. 
Hey, you two! Excuse me!"

	Shampoo was blushing and glancing over at 
Ranma, who was complimenting her on her obvious 
expertise on shiatsu spots and superior agility when
in the mob battle. Akane was glowing blue, clenching
her teeth, and trying to ignore what was going on
behind her.

	"No, really," Ranma was saying. "I've met
Valkyries that fight with less precision and, well,
STYLE! You're really really good."

	"Aiyaaa. Ranma just saying that, you no 
serious." Shampoo was turning quite red now and 
couldn't seem to meet Ranma's eyes.

	"EXCUSE. ME." Kuno twitched. How dare they
ignore him. "How dare you ignore the great Tatewaki
Kuno, the rising star of Furinkan's kendo club, the
Blue Thunder of Nerima?" Lightning cracked as Kuno
raised his bokken over his head.

	"Aaaa. Ranma, you really think so?"

	"Sure! I think you've got enormous talent
there Shampoo. I've had to learn some martial arts
'cause it focusses the mind and body, but you're
much better at it than I am. (Course if we were to
have a magical battle, you'd be toast.)"

	"RANMAAAAA! We're going to be late!" Akane
grabbed Ranma's pigtail and started towards the door.

	Kuno raced ahead of Akane to block the main
doors to the high school. "EXCUSE ME!"

	"Oh, Kuno, when did you get here?" Akane looked
puzzled. Kuno slumped a little bit. They hadn't been
faking, he hadn't even managed to be a successful 
annoyance so far. This could not be withstood.

	"You there," Kuno pointed at the boy being
dragged into the school by Akane. "Aren't you being
a little forward with Akane Tendo?"

	"What would you suggest I do?" Ranma asked the 
kendoist with an upraised eyebrow.

	"Kuno not worry. Akane no interested in Ranma,
Ranma is Shampoo's fiance!"

	"WHAT?!?" Kuno and a few dozen students all
exclaimed at the same time. "F-f-fiance?"

	Akane whirled and glared at her sister. "HEY!
He's my iinazuke TOO, you haven't won yet!"

	"F-f-fiancee? I-i-iinazuke?" Kuno stared at the
boy in confusion. How could this Ranma have come out of
nowhere and done what he, the great Tatewaki Kuno, had 
been trying to do for months now? "Foul sorcerer! How
dare you use your magic to beguile the fair Akane Tendo
and the tigress Shampoo Tendo?"

	"Mind control spells? Give me a break, moron,"
Ranma waved it off. "Everybody knows that mind control
spells can be blocked and detected way too damn easily.
The really powerful ones just go wrong too much of the
time to be useful anyway. The only spell that I've got 
that even comes close is 'Mostly Harmless' and you'd 
know if someone got tagged with that one."

	Kuno moved to attack, "you admit you are a 
foul sorcerer! DIE THEN!"

	Ranma formed the pattern of Air woven with
Spirit. "This is 'Mostly Harmless' for your future
reference."

	"No!" Akane launched herself. "Kuno is here to
fight me, so DON'T get involved, BAKA!"

	"Uh oh." Ranma watched as his spell slammed
into the wrong target. He formed another pattern, this
one of Spirit and Earth, sending a "Healing Sleep" spell
into Kuno.

	"Aiya. What wrong with Akane?"

	Akane was sitting on her knees, a childish
smile on her face, and looking at something that only
she could see. "Pretty. So pretty. Look at all the 
colors."

	"She got in the way of the 'Mostly Harmless'
spell. It triggers a massive charge of endorphins, 
stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain, as
well as some other minor effects."

	"oooooh. wow." Akane was now laying down and
staring at the sky. "I feel good, da da da da da duh da.
You knew that I would now."

	"So how long this last?" Shampoo thought it was
kind of amusing. It was rare to see Akane smile, much
less so unreservedly.

	"Weeeeeeeeeee." Akane said before starting to
giggle. "Sooooo beautiful. I feeeeel nice, like sugar
and spice now! Da da da da da da duh. So good, so good,
I gotta sing now..."

	"Depends. I used a short duration, so it should
be about five minutes."

	"Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coco-nuts!"

	"Class start in one minute."

	"Hear the river tell the lark goodbye..."

	"You honestly think she'll be able to attend
class with her pleasure centers stimulated like that?"

	Both looked at Akane who was now rolling back
and forth singing "How does he love me? I wanna know.
How can I tell if he loves me so?"

	"Can do sleep spell again?"

	"Yeah."

	"It better if she asleep than awake like this."

	"Agreed." Ranma concentrated, forming the weave
and hitting Akane with it. "Minimum duration, she'll be
out for at least another five minutes."

	Shampoo looked up at the crowd who were still
watching the whole thing. "Is okay?"

	"Aw damn. I wanted to hear her sing some more."
There were a half dozen complaints but more people were
curious than anything else. At least five planned to do
something that would get this "Ranma" to cast the spell
on them later.

	Ranma and Shampoo carried Akane to class. Nabiki
noticed they'd forgotten something, but there wasn't
time for her to do something about it anyway. Class was
starting.

	It started to rain. In all the excitement
everyone had forgotten about Kuno, who proceeded to 
become very thoroughly wet.
---------------------------------
	Ranma shifted with his buckets, looking at
the still sleeping form of Akane, then over to Shampoo
who had a rather resigned look on her face.

	"So this Kuno guy made a speech and now he's
promised to beat the snot out of anyone who tries to
date either of you without defeating you in combat 
first. Is he an amazon or something? That sounds almost
like their 'dating by combat' rules."

	"Ranma know amazon law?"

	"Well sure, I got to read a lot of stuff when
I was younger, learned speed reading and mnemonic stuff
that helps when you're reading spells and the like. One
of 'em was a book on the Chinese Amazons."

	"Ah. Not know where Kuno get crazy idea. Think
he just bully and he wanted excuse." Shampoo glanced
down. "Akane sleeping very peaceful."

	"That's a side effect of that spell. It 
combines the effects of a sleeping spell with a healing
trance. Heals the body and mind, which is why I've kept
that one. I've forgotten the pattern for the basic sleep
spell, since this one is so useful."

	Shampoo thought for a moment. "So Ranma want to
spar later? I use special techniques, you use magic?"

	"Come on, Shampoo, you're too obvious." Ranma
smiled at her. She _was_ cute. "You want me to defeat
you in combat."

	Shampoo grinned and shrugged. Her grin 
disappeared as she looked past Ranma.

	Ranma jumped up as Kuno came running in.

	"Evil Sorcerer, release your hold on the
two Tendo girls and release them also from your 
engagement!"

	Ranma looked over Kuno like he was inspecting
a bug. "Who're you calling a sorcerer? Like you're an
expert in the Arts Magical?"

	"Silence, wretch!" Kuno swung his bokken and
almost connected with Ranma.

	"That's it!" Ranma grabbed the bokken. 
"LIGHTNING GRIP." Ribbons of lightning formed from the
Air/Fire pattern that Ranma formed. Snaking through
Tatewaki Kuno, the overall effect was similar to being
hit with a taser several times.

	Still asleep, Akane started to sing "Lightning
is striking me again, and again, and again."

	Kuno, his clothes smouldering, slumped to the
floor.

	Ranma looked down at Kuno who was thoroughly
out of it at this time. "What a jerk."

	"Is it true? Are you really engaged?" The 
windows had opened behind Ranma and Shampoo and a large
number of classmates were excited about the prospect.
A fair number of the guys seemed to be either annoyed
(he's taken Shampoo and/or Akane off the available list!)
or relieved (finally I can go after someone a little 
more sane.) The women largely seemed enthusiastic about
the whole thing. An idea of widespread popularity (that
even had the teacher smiling) was the concept that the
morning battles were now a thing of the past.

	Akane chose at that moment to start snoring.
----------------------
	"Yup, our families decided on this thing." 
Nabiki informed her little crowd.

	"He is SO cute." One of the girls sighed
dreamily. "I wish he was MY fiancee."

	"He's some kind of wizard? I thought those
weren't for real."

	"Hey, if they have youma in Juuban, why can't
we have a mighty sorcerer?"

	"You suppose he knows Gandalf? Or Merlin?"

	"Do you suppose he could put a curse on my
ex-boyfriend?"

	"Hmmmm." Nabiki thought about this. Money
wasn't in short supply, her investments were coming
along quite well, but a little extra never hurt. "I'll
check into this and get back to you."
---------------------------
	Cologne smiled as she watched the scrying pool.
Things were going well between Shampoo and Ranma. This
was just as she had planned.
---------------------------
	Ice continued to crack and split as a glacier
in the Antarctic found something within was forcing
its way out. The Great Dragon watched the scene in
Nerima as well, so far it had all gone as foreseen.
==============================
	What, you say ________ was OOC? Well, this is
supposed to be a parallel universe. Just Ranma being a
mage means he's likely to be a little better educated
than he otherwise would be. Oh well, this is a rough
so C&C appreciated.
     Work on Neutral Ground part 2 nearly completed,
as well as its companion story (Dragon's Destiny) part 1.
Happi Days pt 6 will be at the pre-readers as soon as i lose this
damn migraine. The "Ten Little Martial Artists" ("Nabiki Screws
Up") storyline is on hold for a little while. 
Ganbatte, minaasan!
gregg