forwarded to the ML with Mr. Davies' permission...


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 9 Jun 1998 21:23:51 -0600 (MDT)
From: Chris Davies <cdavies@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca>


	I'm dreadfully sorry, gentlemen, but this isn't going to be a "full"
EFR analysis -- much to Sheila's aggravation, as she's a major fan (as her
parents were) of SKU.  But I hope you'll be entertained and informed by
their critique anyway.

	It was another miserable day in midwinter in Minnesota.  Skyler 
cursed under his breath as a passing car sprayed near-freezing slush onto 
his leg.  At least he had a job this month.  He could buy some more 
computer time, and save up for a VCR.  Oh, and groceries.

Hiroe:  Wheee!  Sounds just like the Revengefic that Bailesu-sama is writing
about the Boss!
Sheila:  Which hasn't been published yet, Hiroe-chan, so let's just keep the
comparisons down ...

	Ah, home at last, such as it was.  The clutter of videotapes, 
books, magazines, and other media greeted him silently, as it did every 
night.  His best friends, in a way.  At least they never broke his 
heart.  

Ryouko:  What is this urge that I feel ... this impulse to begin singing the
opening theme of "Otaku no Video"?

	He sighed.  "Ah, who am I kidding?  My life's many things, but a  
self-insertion fic is not one of them."

Hiroe:  Um ... this is nitpick, Sensei-tachi, but I think that would sound
better if it were "My life is many things, but a self insertion fic isn't
one of them."

	Skyler dreamed that night--a strange dream, even as dreams go.  
There was a wall, inlaid with a curious pattern--two large roses, with 
their stems twining around each other.  Strange, plunking music--like a 
simple music box, repeating over and over--played, punctuated by strange 
chimes, or was that a theremin?  A spotlight shone onto the wall from 
somewhere he couldn't see, casting the shadows of two girls, likewise 
unseen, onto the wall.
	"Kashira, kashira!" said one of the girls, the one with a bow in 
her hair and strange antennae.  It was Japanese, but somehow, he could 
understand it perfectly.  Well, of course.  It was a dream.  "I wonder, I 
wonder!  I wonder how those beings from that `Earth' shall receive us."
	The other girl, with two pigtails and similarly strange antennae, 
replied, "They're strange beings indeed.  Might they not run from us or 
hate us?"
	"Why would they do that?"  The first girl struck a dramatic pose, 
one hand clasped to her heart, the other raised theatrically as she gazed 
into the sky.  "Are we not wise and benevolent?  Do we not have the means 
to right all the wrongs they have suffered?  Will we not perfect their 
planet and raise it to its place among the stars?"  She pressed the back 
of a hand to her brow.  "Oh, the great lengths we go to to help others!  
Oh, such nobility we possess!  Let us go among them and demonstrate our 
greatness and humility!"
	"Aye, sir!"  The second girl saluted and pulled a lever on the 
shadow of a bank of controls (had that been there before?)  The first 
girl leapt forth--
	To a plain defined by the shadows of strange, twisted and barren 
rock formations.  The second girl stood there already, wearing a 
different and altogether stranger set of antennae.
	"Kasei ni irrashai!" she called out in a cheery but robotic 
voice.  "Welcome to Mars!"
	"Girk!"  The first girl stiffened with a startled and frustrated 
sound, giving every impression of just avoiding facefaulting.

[Dead silence]
Ritsuko:  That ... made *sense*.
Sheila:  What's with you guys?  The kage no shoujo always make sense ... but
they usually don't come this early in the episode.

	The case contained a dozen crossbow bolts, again in perfect 
condition, and spare bow strings, as well as the cranking device for 
resetting the bow.
	Skyler would've preferred a Colt or Smith & Wesson, if he had to 
fight, but he could handle this...if he absolutely had to.

Ryouko:  Hrm.  He knows the first dictum, at least.  Remains to be --
Hiroe:  First dictum, oneesan?
Ryouko & Misa: (sim)  Take a knife to a fist fight, take a gun to a knife
fight, stay the *HELL* out of a gunfight!
[Startled silence]
Ryouko:  You have been ... obviously well trained ...
Misa: (dry) Gee thanks.

	You have been assigned to High School First Year Class A, and 
your dormitory room will be room #23, East Hall.  Your tuition is paid in 
full, although you will be required to perform duties as a teaching aide 
to the Junior High classes in order to fulfill your work-study 
agreement.  

Ritsuko:  Oh ho.  So that's their little scheme ...
Hiroe:  Oneesama!  You didn't say that you'd seen this series before!
Ritsuko:  Lady Jupiter gave Sheila's tapes to our mother after she was put
in coldsleep, and she let me watch them.
Sheila: (dangerous) And what happened to them *after* that?
Ritsuko: (shrugs) I believe one of my roommates at college absconded with
them.  They were fairly valuable by the early 30s.

			Ohtori Akio, Chairman of the Board of Trustees 

Sheila:  Shoot.  To.  Kill.
Misa:  <whispered> Calm down, he's *just* a cartoon character here ...

	"I should've gotten out the kanji dictionary and translated some 
more of that article.  I have no idea what the plot's about, other than 
dueling.  The look of it reminds me of Rose of Versailles.  Brr, I hope 
not, most of the cast *died* in that one."

Sheila:  Shoot.  To.  K--
Ritsuko:  Well it *is* superficially rather reminiscent of that, along with
Ikeda Ryouko-sensei's "Oniisama E" ... and given his limited exposure to it,
it's an understandable perception, Sheila.
Sheila:  <pout>

	[Kangaroo?  They have a zoo on the grounds too?]  Skyler started 
walking in that direction.  [Time enough for plans later.  Let's see the 
fun.]

Sheila:  To paraphrase Ferris-kami-sama, "The question isn't what is on the
Ohtori campus, the question is what *isn't* on the Ohtori campus?"
Ritsuko:  Yea verily.  Looking back, it reminds me of the Crystal Tokyo
Academy ...
[Long pause]
Sheila:  You don't think ...
Ritsuko & Sheila (sim):  Naaaaa.

	Nearby--close to the edge of the fields--a crowd had gathered 
around what looked to be a newly-erected boxing ring of some sort.  The 
crowd's outfits were...interesting.  They all seemed to be a school 
uniform of some sort--the Japanese style, no less--but if that were the 
case, the school colors apparently were teal, teal and teal.  Teal 
jackets, teal slacks, teal collars for the sailor blouses, teal 
miniskirts that would make a Sailor Senshi slightly uncomfortable.  Only 
the white puffed-sleeve blouses and red tie-kerchiefs on the girls' 
uniforms broke up the sea of monochrome.

Hiroe:  Oooooh, nice hinting at the thematic issues!

	[This is bad.]  Reasonable caution warred with conscience and 
impulsive chivalry in Skyler's head.  He knew better than to mess with a 
full-grown kangaroo--Skyler had a healthy respect for animals, and 
anything as big and strong as a kangaroo could easily cripple a man.  If 
he got in its way, the least he could expect to come away with would be 
extreme bruising.  The trouble was, if he didn't two other people would 
probably suffer far worse.

Hiroe:  Probably need a comma between "didn't" and "two".

	He was pretty tall, though not much taller than Skyler, wearing 
only boxing trunks, red gloves, and sneakers.  He didn't hesitate for a 
second--while the kangaroo was just starting to register the new obstacle 
and the girl and young boy were turning to look at the newcomer, he 
pulled back slightly, then delivered a crashing uppercut to the 
kangaroo's jaw, hard enough to knock the tooth guard out of its mouth and 
flying through the air.  [A kangaroo with a mouth guard.  Okay, now I've 
officially seen everything.]

Sheila:  <cracks up>

	Over to the west, a blue-haired boy, a pink-haired girl (actual 
day-glo pink!) and a dark-haired girl with brown skin were almost around 
a corner.  [Could that be...?  Too far now.]

Sheila: <hearts-in-eyes> UTENA-SAMAAAAAAA!
Misa: <annoyed expression>
Ryouko: <disgusted expression>

	It took him a few minutes to find his way to the right room, set 
in a side corridor on the second floor.  His name was printed neatly in 
katakana on the plate with the room number, along with a blank space 
underneath--probably for a roommate, if he ended up getting one.  [Okay, 
they've definitely gone all out to show they were expecting me.  
Obviously, *someone* wants me here--not that I didn't already know that, 
but supporting evidence is always nice.  Well, here goes nothing.]  He 
slid the key into the lock and opened the door.
	A rat cocked its head at him inquisitively from the center of the 
room. 

Sheila: Hehehehehehe!  He gets the room of Utena's nightmares ...

	She was fairly short--coming up maybe to Skyler's chin--but 
very pretty, in an exotic sort of way.  Her skin was a fairly dark 
brown, with an odd dot in the middle of her forehead, and her purple 
(actual dark, glossy *purple*!)

Misa: Yeah, so?

	"I'm new here in the dorm.  Do we cook our own meals?"
	"Oh, of course not," she smiled as she took an apron down from a 
cabinet shelf.  "It's just that until now it's just been me and 
Utena-sama here, and I cook for both of us--and Chuchu, of course.

Sheila: Hrm.  Not sure about this ... might be better not to mention him
until he actually shows up ...

	"Bet I'll find out about the duels sooner than I want to.  Oh, 
and she called me `sempai', even though she was here first, so she is 
either in a lower grade, or my height confused her.  She's pretty, but if 
she's already in a relationship (especially *that* kind of relationship), 
it'd be a bad idea to poach.

Sheila: DAMN STRAIGHT!
Misa: Sheila, do you realize the pun of Robinson-esque proportions you just
perpetrated?
Sheila: <blinks; groans>

	It probably wasn't the *oddest* creature he'd seen--not in anime 
at least.  He vaguely remembered seeing pictures of it in the anime 
magazines, but realistically that wasn't much preparation for seeing it 
in the flesh.  It looked as if someone had taken the cutest features of 
the stereotypical cartoon monkey and cartoon mouse and then exaggerated 
them all out of proportion.  The ears were huge and round (and one was 
pierced, he noted), while the eyes were mere round scribbles.  Spots of 
red denoted the cheeks, and its mouth was an odd w-shaped line.  It wore 
what looked like a tie, or the scarf from a girl's uniform.  And it was 
looking at him while it chewed on several crackers at once.
	Its gaze met Skyler's.  For a long moment, they simply stared at 
each other.  Then, the creature spoke.
	"Chu."

Hiroe & Sheila: (sim) KAWAIIIIIIIIIII!
Ritsuko: (rubs head) I feel a headache coming on ...

	"I don't really know her too well.  She's Utena-sama's best 
friend, though.  They lived together last semester, before Utena-sama had 
to move here.  They're such close friends."
	"I...see."  [Is Utena...you know?  Or have I just been reading too 
much Chris Davies?]

The Hallelujah chorus breaks out over the reviewers heads.

Misa: Cut it out.

It stops abruptly.

Sheila: Actually, this doesn't feel quite right ... he was already assuming
this earlier, so maybe it should come then ... and she is of course.
Ryouko: No she's not.
Ritsuko: Does it matter?
Misa: <sigh>

	"Wow.  Wonder if she does dojos?"  then a small paranoid thought 

Hiroe: "Then" should be capitalized.

entered his mind.  "Wait a minute.  I locked the door when I left...and I 
had to use the key to get in now...so how'd Anthy get in?  Shades of Jim 
Rockford.  Note to self:  Do *not* leave secret journal in room." 

All: Who?

	As he toweled off, Skyler admired himself in the mirror.  "Not 
bad at all..."  Then he noticed a small detail that had escaped him in 
the dim reflection he'd studied yesterday.  "I don't have any *pupils*?!  
How do I *see*?  Wait, if I remember my `Alien Biology' essays, it'd just 
filter out light of the same color.  No, then I'd see my eyes as entirely 
black.  Weird."  He looked a bit closer.  "No, wait, there they are.  
just a slightly darker blue than the irises.  Still weird."

Ritsuko: (dramatic) And can it be?  For he *is* the Kwisatz Haderach!
All (except Ritsuko): (blink)

	Anthy appeared to have already eaten.  .oO I guess Utena must be 

Sheila:  Hm.  Odd marker, that.

	"At home it got down to fifty below Fahrenheit, not sure what 
that is in Celcius..."  Himemiya-san didn't take the bait.  [Okay, not a 
science enthusiast...]

Ritsuko:  Fifty below. (beat) I don't get it.

	"Sorry?  Sorry?  You think saying you're sorry can make up for 
nearly getting Touga-sama killed?  For making his sister miserable?"  The 
girl glared at Anthy for a moment, and then...
	*SLAP*
	Anthy fell to the ground, clutching her cheek.  The three girls 
looked down on her with vicious satisfaction.

Sheila: Shoot.  T--
Misa: We get the picture, anata.

	Bile rose in Skyler's throat.  This kind of scene was all too 
familiar to him, though he'd usually played the victim's role.  He choked 
back his first impulse.  [I will *not* hit a girl.  I will *not*.] 

Sheila: Aarg.  Typical MALE idiocy!  So it's okay for a woman to hit another
woman, but it's not okay for a man to do something about it?  You think that
makes you somehow *better*?  Guess again.

	The three girls froze with terror at the deceptively 
mild-sounding voice.  Their heads slowly swiveled around, as if afraid 
of what they might see.
	Nanami's violet gaze met theirs coolly and impassively.

Misa: You might want to remind the audience of who Nanami is ...

	"Why, pray tell, was I never informed of this?" she continued in 
the sort of quiet, restrainedly pleasant tone that strongly implies that 
you *don't* want to see the speaker grow unpleasant.

Misa: (calm) You know all about that, don't you, Ryouko.
Ryouko: (calm) Why, yes, Fogler-san, I do.

The temperature drops precipitously.

	Nanami sighed wistfully.  "They're really very nice girls 
underneath--it's just that they seem to have this strange urge to prove 
themselves by picking on the weak from time to time.

Sheila: (hiss) Not like anyone *we* know ...

	...was, he realized, one of the more stunning young women he had 
seen in recent memory,even taking into account the anime beauty of nearly 
everyone he'd seen here.
	It wasn't just her looks--she was attractive, with a slim figure 
and orange hair done in meticulously-coiled ringlets, but not remarkably 
more so than many of the other women in this anime world.  But even 
seated quietly, there was something in her bearing...an ineffable sense 
of quiet self-confidence and nobility was the closest he could come to 
putting it into words, though it wasn't quite right.  Too strong, 
maybe... 

Misa: (whispered, stars in eyes, hands clasped) Stekke ...

Sheila looks aghast.  She briefly looks to Ritsuko for support (and gets
rolled eyes) and thus misses Misa sticking her tongue out of her mouth in
self-mockery.

	"Ah.  I'm embarrassed to admit I haven't actually read that book 
yet."  [Quite possibly smarter than I am...]

Sheila: Naturally.  She's --
Misa: (dreamily) Gorgeous.
Sheila: (nervous) I was about to say, female, but --

	"You're on the Student Council?" Skyler dissembled, since he 
himself wasn't entirely clear on who'd arranged the "special treatment" 
or why.

Hiroe: That's not dissembling -- lying -- that's evasion.  If he said, "I
didn't know you were on the Student Council," that would be dissembling.

	"You *are* well-read...actually, it seems more like Ohtori 
Academy picked me.  There were a couple of locations I was more familiar 
with by reputation, but apparently they already had enough exchange 
students.

Misa: (cracks up)
Sheila: I don't get it.

	*Tried* to start to read.  He came to a grinding halt in a matter 
of moments.  [What the heck?  Did I grab the wrong book or something?  I 
can't understand a word of this.]  It was obviously in romaji, and 
obviously some sort of European language, but beyond that it was 
gibberish.  He couldn't drain a single drop of meaning from it.

Hiroe: Isn't that "romanji"?

	Then a word halfway down the page caught his eye.  F-o-o-l.  
Fool.  Somehow, he knew that word.  And a few lines down, another 
one--c-u-t-e.

Sheila: <grin> Telling, ne?

	The English teacher--a thin, sour-looking woman with her hair in 
a bun and glasses that instantly reminded Skyler of the "Far Side" 
cartoons, set her books on the desk and peered out over the class, which 
quieted instantly.  She smiled as she saw Skyler.

Sheila:  Oh WOW!  Her!

	Juri then turned to face him, leaning against a window sill with 
her arms crossed, and regarded Skyler with that penetrating gaze again.  
"So.  Who are you, *really*?"

Misa: Ten points for Juri-sama!
Sheila: (expression of mild panic)

	Chris Davies:  

The Hallelujah --

Misa: (points her Delameter towards the roof of the theatre)

-- Chorus does not play.

Misa: (tight grin)
Hiroe:  But ... that didn't explain who Jim Rockford was ...

     What if, I thought, someone were to be dropped into an anime world he
knew nothing about?  Would he fumble around and make matters worse than
they were when he started?  Would he be duped by the deceptive characters,

Sheila: Given this wight's reaction to Nanami, I'd say the answer is yes.

	C&C, MSTs and other fun stuff welcomed!

Ritsuko: Your wish has been granted. (fakes faint)

Hiroe:  Looks good!  Hope we get to see more of the main character next
time!

Chris Davies.