Subject: RE: [FFML][Fanfic][Ranma 1/2]Alternatives - Chapter 3
From: "Paul M. Arezina" <arezina@acad1.stvincent.edu>
Date: 6/4/1998, 9:35 AM
To: "Mike Allen" <allenmk@gte.net>
CC: "Fanfic Mailing List" <ffml@fanfic.com>

I want to thank my pre-readers for helping me to clean up this chapter.
Please feel free to email me with any comments, flames,
questions, whatever.
As you do, I like to know that my work was read.  (Especially if you liked
it!)

You have brought the force of comprehensive C&C upon youself. Be afraid. Be
very afraid.

As always, the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and all of the
corporations that
have licensed them from her.

Alternatives - Chapter 3

**************

On their way to school the next morning, Ranma asked Akane if she
wanted her
first lesson.

"You want to spar with me on the way to school?  Ranma are you
nuts?"  Akane
said aghast.

Comma after "Ranma".

"I didn't say nothing about sparring.  I asked you if you wanted
your first
lesson."  Ranma replied. [Geez, Does she think I'm stupid or something?]

Change the comma to an exclamation point or lose the capital D.

"Oh, sorry.  Yes, I would like my first lesson, Ranma.  What do I need to
do?" Akane said apologetically.

Why, in every WAFF fic (or even one that's remotely WAFF) does Akane seem to
be taking Prozac intravenously? Not that I mind. I suppose it could be said
that the whole violence act is only in direct response to Ranma's insults...
but it doesn't seem like it'd die down so quickly.

[What do you know, she actually listened to me.] "Okay, Akane
jump onto this
fence.  When you get your balance, walk along it ahead of me.  Don't worry
about falling or nothing, I'll catch you.  I don't want you to get hurt."

Comma after "Akane". That's the convention for addressing people by name,
don'tcha know.

"I don't want to get hurt, either.  Are you sure about this?"  She asked
nervously.

Lose the capital S.

"You want to get better don't you?  This will teach you better balance and
coordination.  If you know that you can walk along a fence, you can trust
your body when you need to." He explained.

No capital H. Gees, weren't you paying attention to Freemage's Free Tips
about quoting?

(My rabid grammarian needs his Prozac, too...)

"Okay, if you say so."  Akane said doubtfully.

Comma in the quotes, not period.

She jumped onto the fence.  Overbalanced and about to fall off,
Akane felt
strong hands straighten her up.  [I can do this.]  Akane told herself
grimly.  She began walking along the fence. [I can do this!]  Akane
gleefully thought.

Comma, not period, in the thought brackets.

"You're doing great, Akane.  Walking is the most difficult skill. OK, now
start running.  You'll find it's easier to run than to walk on the fence."
Ranma encouraged her.

Just like riding a bicycle. The faster you go, the more of your momentum is
placed into going forward... and precession, I believe, works to correct any
tilts and such.

[If you think I can do it, I know I can.]  Akane began to jog.  After a
block, she sped up.  Finally, they were sprinting.  When they arrived at
Furinkan High, they both jumped off of the fence.

"Akane, that was spectacular!  It took me months to be able to do that.  I
am proud of you."  Ranma said. [Brain to Mouth -- Don't tell her
that I was
seven when I learned to run on a fence.]

Actually, it'd be easier when you were seven. Lower center of gravity.

And comma inside the quotes.

(Geez. You've awakened the rabid physicist too. Now you're in for it.)

"Thank you, Ranma."  Akane beamed. [He actually praised me!]  She then
reached over and pulled him into a hug.

Now she's actually hanging on his every word... ah well, this is an "Akane
gets Ranma" fic. Or something of the sort. Which means her normal vibrant
personality takes a breather unless Ranma does something SERIOUSLY wrong.

As they entered the gates of the school, they noticed that many of the
students were looking in their direction.

Well it wasn't too long ago that you were sending most of the males of the
school into the stratosphere.

"Akane was running on the fence?" "They're not arguing?" "She hugged him?"

Yeah, that was just about my reaction.

"Darn, I bet that they would never hug in public this year.  I
should learn
never to bet against Nabiki."  "He gave her a compliment?"  "Who are these
people and where are the real Ranma and Akane?"

Good question!

Kuno had been awaiting Akane's arrival.  As he saw Akane and
Ranma enter the
gate, he moved away from the tree he stood under.  He met them  and began,
"Oh, How I sorrow that the bud that is Akane Tendo is being starved in the
light of Ranma Saotome.  I see you strive each day to bloom for him.  What
does he do?  Does he shine any warmth or light onto you?  No.  The dog
dishonors both himself and you with his treatment of you.  Oh, Akane, come
bask in the warmth that is my sunlight.  Come and grow strong in the love
that I will shower upon you.  Oh ... URK"

Hmm. This seems a bit forcefully ironic. Even for Kuno. You wanna give the
impression he's delivering a canned speech, write him a sonnet. Or at least
the first few lines of one. "URK" will cut it off pretty nicely.

Akane calmly malleted him.

I see you belong to the "mallet as chi attack/fighting technique" school.

"Kuno, For your information, Ranma
and I are in
love.  Right, Ranma.?"

Ooh. Lose the capital F and the period which seems to have made a cameo
appearance right before another major punctuation mark.

"Uh, Right, Akane."  Ranma stammered embarrassedly.

Change the first comma to an ellipsis (...) or else drop that capital R.

"I l-l-love you.  You
l-l-love me. ..." [Oh man, I don't like saying this stuff in front of
people.]

But you do it so well!

Yes, that was sarcasm.

"Ranma, if you start singing the Barney song, I'll mallet you,
too."

This assumes Barney has A) made it past the Hello Kitty barrier into the
hearts of Japanese preschoolers, B) been aired on television when Akane was
home, and C) ingrained himself into her brain somehow. You'd think an SD
purple dinosaur would be reguarded a little more reluctantly in Japan.

Yes, I know the opportunity was too good to pass up. If you wanna capitalize
on the reference, have someone else hear this and react. (That's the other
thing about WAFF fics. No one ever shows up.) Some suggested lines...

Gosunkugi: I'll nail Ranma to a tree! (He then gets out a straw doll and
proceeds to do just that.)

Kodachi: I'll set Ranma-sama free! (As a ribbon swoops toward Akane.)

Kuno: I... shall have... my... victory... (Collapse.)

Shampoo: Aiya! No! How can it be?!

Ukyo: I love him too... can't he see?

Okay, those are even sillier. You could just have Akane say "You're not
supposed to just blurt it out, baka" or something like that.

*Whew*. Now back to C&C.

*pause*

Hey, it gets ingrained in you.

Akane
teased Ranma as she hugged him again. [I could get used to
hugging him like
this.]

[I could get used to being hugged like this.]

You like having your spine crushed? Nah, that's a bit harsh. Shampoo does
that all the time... I suppose it's as much who does the hugging as the
actual hug...

Hey, maybe you could have Shampoo stop by and glomp him and Ranma reflect on
how different her hugs feel.

Nah.

Clap ... Clap ... Clap

They turned and saw Nabiki walking toward them.  She was applauding their
show of affection.

I associate the above sound effect with deliberately slowed and sarcastic
applause, i.e. clapping REALLY slowly. You might want to put quotation marks
around "applauding".

"I have to hand it to you, Sis.  When you and Ranma admit you love each
other, you sure announce it romantically."  Nabiki said sarcastically, but
with a smile.  "I didn't know you could do it, Ranma."

Period inside the first set of quotation marks.

Oh, and Nabs wasn't around the first time Ranma announced (albeit
accidentally) that he loved Akane. That was a li'l more romantic, I think.

[Akane, that was
truly a stupid thing to do.  Ranma hasn't made any decisions yet.
 Now, his
other three fiancees will be breathing down your necks.]

Akane has more than one neck?

"Uh, well, I didn't either. Heh. Heh."  Ranma put his hand behind
his head.

"Oh, by the way, here are your clothes for your week together.
Have fun you
two."

And Kuno overhears this, no doubt. What can be read into this...

Nabiki laughed as she went to her class. [I've got to get to Ukyo,
Shampoo and Kodachi.  If they hear about this little scene, they might get
violent.]

MIGHT? Excuse me. Two out of the three fiancees showed up at the wedding
with explosive food products. The third is just plain crazy. OF COURSE
THEY'LL GET VIOLENT!

As the student body face-faulted around them, Akane and Ranma blushed red.

"Let's get to class, before this gets worse. OK, Ranma?"  Akane
whispered to
Ranma.

"Yeah."

I think the whispering already made it worse...

**************

At his desk, Ranma soon lost himself in his thoughts.

I'll refrain from making a joke about how little there is to get lost in.

[Man, I wish this could be solved with a fight.  That would be
easy.  How to
start?  I don't know.  Pop would just go on another training trip
and never
come back.  I can't do that.

Sure you can! Just take Akane with you. Eloping is fun!

Mr. Tendo would have an emotional breakdown.
I won't do that and besides nothing would be solved.

No, but you'd probably feel better. Especially if Akane comforted you...

Akane would want to
bash the problems.  She and I are the same that way.  Heh.

Actually, TIL involved Ranma fighting with each of his three fiancees for
one reason or another.

Nabiki, how
would she look at my problems?  She'd probably create a list of positives
and negatives for each decision and choose the one with the most positives
and least negatives.  She's always working on some list or another.  ...
That wouldn't be a bad
idea.  OK, here goes.]

We've secretly inserted a brain into Saotome Ranma's thick skull. Let's see
if anyone can notice the difference.

At this point in his thoughts, Ranma puled out a notebook and
began writing
in it.  The teacher was very surprised.  [Ranma has never shown this much
interest in geography before.  He is really beginning to take notes.]

Ranma begins writing:

-----Option 1 ---  Live With The Curse

Positive - There would be only one of me.
Positive - I could still search for a non-Jusenkyo based cure.

Negative - I would still have to search for a non-Jusenkyo based cure.

Negative - I would have to marry a man AND have a baby to have a chance of
getting rid of it.

Positive - Akane said she'd jump in the Nannichuan if it came to that, and
I'd really like to have a baby with her.

Negative - Mom said that everyone who has gotten married and had a baby,
then decided to stay that way.

Positive - They had to decide to stay that way for a good reason. I might
actually get to like my cursed form...

Negative - My fiancee's would probably want to kill me if I married a man.
Ugh! I would rather commit seppuku.

-----Option 2 ---  Jump into the Nannichuan anyway

Positive - I wouldn't be a girl in cursed form
Negative - I don't know what I'd end up.  I might end up with a
body with no
sex.  I might end up with a body with both sexes.
Negative - No cure after second plunge, according to guide.
Negative - Doesn't solve my fiancee problems.  If I marry Akane,
the others
might still try to attack her.

-----Option 3 ---  Jump into the Spring of Drowned Twins

Positive - There would be two of me.
Positive - I'd always have a good sparring partner.
Positive - One of me would be a man, forever.
Positive - Never have to worry about water again.
Negative - One of me would be a girl, forever.
Negative - Shampoo might decide to try and kill the new girl Ranma.
Negative - Doesn't solve my fiancee problems.  If I marry Akane,
the others
might still try to attack her.

You might want to put this negative under option one as well.

-----Option 4 ---  Jump into the Spring of Drowned Twins Multiple Times

Positive - There would be one of me for each fiancee
Positive - I'd always have a good sparring partner.
Positive - The others would be men, forever.
Positive - Never have to worry about water again.
Positive - Solves my fiancee problems.
Positive - I could have a me without a fiancee.  That me could be normal.
Negative - One of me would be a girl, forever.
Negative - Shampoo might decide to try and kill the new girl Ranma.
Negative - Mousse would try to kill me.  Like he has a shot.  Hah!

Positive - One Mousse. Potentially infinite supplies of me. I like them
odds.

Negative - Kuno would go after the me as a girl.  He does that now!

Positive - The girl me would have a lot of overprotective big brothers.

Negative - Could I handle seeing Akane married to another me?
Negative - Could I handle being married to Ukyo, Shampoo or dating Kodachi
while still loving Akane.  I would have to for honor's sake.

Positive - We can get together and compare notes.

Negative - Dating Kodachi, How would I make sure that there are no potions
or poisons in the food?

Positive - I'll be able to tap into Akane's cooking. A few of those a week
and Kodachi woun't be able to touch me with any poison.

Negative - Would I be a second class citizen of the Amazon tribe
married to
Shampoo?

**************

"Since you've been taking such good notes this morning, would you care to
answer the question, Mr. Saotome?"  His teacher asked.

"Huh?"  Ranma said brightly.  [What are we studying?  Geography.]
"Hiroshima, sensei?"

The room erupted in laughter.  Akane just looked at him and shook
her head.

The teacher looked at Ranma and said, "Interesting answer, Mr. Saotome.
However, I don't believe that the capitol of Vietnam is Hiroshima."

This is high school. Now, I realize I may have been learning world capitals
in freshman geography, but I'm American. A sizable portion of us don't even
think the earth is round. Where do they take those surveys?

(Yes, I know the spin of the earth makes it bulge a bit at the equator, but
it's round enough to seem so from, say, the moon.)

Maybe: "However, I don't believe Hiroshima is Vietnam's largest seaport. I
doubt you could name its capital, though I mentioned it not two minutes
ago."

"Uh, I meant to say"  Ranma thought furiously.  He looked at
Akane for help.
She looked a little annoyed. [That's it!] "Hanoi, sensei."
[Thanks, Akane!]

"That's much better, Mr. Saotome."  [I guess he wasn't paying as much
attention as I thought.]

**************

[ All right, where was I? Oh, yeah.  I can't think of any other
positives or
negatives.  I think I will go over each option and think about
each of its'
drawbacks and  advantages.]

Ranma turned to a new page in his notebook and began writing.

**************

Option 1.  Live with it.

If I live with it, there will be only one Ranma Saotome.  I
wouldn't have to
worry about anyone getting me mixed up with another me.  Though, with only
one of me, there's not always enough of me to go around.   I could still
search for cures not based on Jusenkyo waters.  I'm sure that I will find
it, eventually.

But then, what do I know?

If I continue to live with my curse, the curse will continue acting on me.
I might start to find men attractive all of the time.  I might find girls
attractive only as friends.  The only known cure is to get
married to a man
and then have a baby.

He stopped writing.  He pondered getting married to a man.  His
mind came up
with a picture of Kuno in a western style tuxedo an himself in a wedding
kimono.  He then big-sweated. [NO WAY!!!!!  I WILL NOT EVER GET
MARRIED TO A
MAN.]

That's a scary, scary thought. *shudder*

There would be no easy resolution to my fiancee problem.  At the least, my
honor would be destroyed.

Well, you could always persuade Ukyo to give you up, send Kodachi off to an
insane asylum, and search the Amazon laws for a loophole.

...what?

Option one is out.   I will not live with this curse.

**************

Ranma stopped writing.  [Whew.  This isn't very easy.  I'm having to think
as hard as I do during a fight.  Well, nothing big is ever easy.]  He then
flipped to a new page and began again.

**************

Option 2.  Jump into the Nannichuan anyway

If I do this, I would no longer be a girl when splashed with cold water.
Why didn't the Jusenkyo Guide ever tell us that it would not be a
cure?  Mr.
Tendo even ordered Nannichaun from him as a wedding gift.

Actually, the Guide sent it as a thanks for saving his daughter and the
springs.

I
guess I'm glad
that Happosai did drink it.

I wonder what my cursed form would be.  I might end up with a
body that has
no sex.  A body that's neither boy or girl.  Yuck.

On the plus side, nothing anyone does can... distract him... if he's not
attracted to anyone.

Of course, I might end
up with a very girly looking body with male parts.  Then again, I
might end
up looking just like I usually do except with a vagina.  I might
end up with
both organs.  According to what Mom told us,  there would be no chance for
any other type of cure.

It might make changing to my cursed form a little less embarrassing.  I
would still have fiancee problems to resolve.

I don�t want to use this option either.  It�s too risky.  If all
else fails,
I could use it as a last resort.

**************

Ranma paused as he saw it was time for lunch.  He looked towards
Akane.  She
had been immediately set upon by her friends.  They seemed to be
discussing
what happened that morning.  He looked toward Ukyo.  She was angrily
marching toward him.  He thought, [I really don�t want to tell
her anything
right now.  She�d be really hurt that I�ve told Akane that I love
her.  I�m
not sure enough about my choices to talk to her about them yet
either.  She�
d tell me to use either the 3rd or 4th options.  The 3rd option
as long as I
married her and not Akane.]

"Hi, Ukyo!"  He began nervously, "I'm sorry, I can't talk right
now.  I'm a
little busy."  Having said that, he grabbed his stuff and jumped out the
window onto the school yard.

"RANCHAN!!!"  Ukyo yelled after him.  "You'd better have a good
explanation
for this!"

Hell hath no fury...

He jumped onto the roof from the yard.

[Maybe she won't find me here.] He hoped.

She SAW you jump onto the roof, you moron!

He then opened his notebook to
the next new page and began writing.

**************

Option 3. Jump into the Spring of Drowned Twins Once.

The really cool thing about this would be that there would be two
of me.  I�
d never have to worry about finding a sparring partner at my
level.

Spar, spar, spar. Is that all you ever think about?

Also, I
�d have a sister!  Wait a minute ... I�d be my own sister. ... Both of me
would be cured.  The male Ranma would always be male and the girl Ranma
would always be a girl.  It would be a challenge to be a girl.
I�ve beaten
every challenge I�ve ever had!  Mom, Akane, Kasumi and all of my other
friends would help me to adjust, I�m sure.

Whatever happened to "I would give my life for the Art but not my manhood!"

I don�t think I would like all
of the rules
a girl has to live with.  Don�t walk with a long stride.  Always eat after
the men have taken their portions.  I can get a lot of free stuff by being
cute, though.  I wonder if Shampoo would try to kill my girl side?  How
would I break out of the neko-ken as a girl.

How would you break out of it, period? Without the curse, there's nothing to
distract you.

What name would I
use?  Ranko
has too many bad memories.  I�d want a name that�s not associated with
hiding and lying from my mother.  I wonder what I would�ve been
called had I
been born a girl?  My girl side would be forever chased by Kuno.
At least,
he would probably not bother my male half as much.

I could still only marry one fiancee.  I would end up hurting
three others.
Two others, if Ukyo or Kodachi jumped into the Nannichuan.  I don�t even
want to think about Shampoo as a half-cat guy.

I dunno... take a look at the picture of Jonathan Dwire on Mr. Olsen's page.
Then again, Ranma's nekophobia would probably act up.

Overall this option isn�t too bad.  I could handle it.  The challenge of
being a girl
full-time would be a difficult one.  I haved lived through being
stuck as a
girl.  I have seen that there are benefits to being a girl as well as
problems.

**************

He stopped.  Looking around, he saw that the lunch period was over.  [I�ll
just stay up here and finish.  If I go back to class, Sensei will
send me to
the hall with buckets.  Man, I�m stiff.]  He stood up and went through a
basic kata to stretch and relax.  Finished, he sat back down and started
writing again.

**************

Option 4. Jump into the Spring of Drowned Twins Multiple Times.

I would have a lot of brothers and one sister.  That would be
different.  We
�d have to come up with names for all of us.  Only one of us
could be called
Ranma.  That would be a fight.  Winner gets to be called Ranma.

Of course, you'd all end up tying each other anyway. Actually, your girl
form is faster, isn't it? Oh, the irony...

I really
would be a man among men.  Ha.  I would be men among men.  Just like with
Option 3, I�d never have to hunt for sparring partners.  I would have to
remember to always spar all out with my sister.  Man, I would
hate it if I was the girl and found out that my �brother� had been holding
back.  All of my girl problems would be solved.  That would allow family
honor to be maintained.  It would also mean that I don�t have to
hurt any of
them.  Akane will have me.  Shampoo could have one of me.  That would
release her pledge to either kill or marry me.  Ukyo could have one of me.
I like her a lot.  I think I may even love her, just not as much as I do
Akane. Even Kodachi could have one of me to prove herself with.  I could
even have a me that could just be free.  My girl side would get
to find her
own path.  Maybe even live with Mom.

It wouldn�t all be roses.  I would have to at least date Kodachi.  Could I
survive her potions and drugs?  I�ve survived evrything Shampoo
and the old
ghoul have thrown against me.  Mousse would not be ducky with this
arrangement.

Hilarious. Oh, the irony of it all.

(Oh, the sarcasm.)

Lose the stupid curse pun, please.

Ryoga won�t like it either.  If their cures rested
on dealing
with it, could they?  Would I be able to be Shampoo�s or Ukyo�s
husband and
see myself with Akane?

Who says you have to see yourself with Akane? Head back to China and move to
Osaka, respectively.

I would satisfy honor.  Could I be happy?  Would
they?  Will Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi be okay with this?  Will
they all want
the �Real� Ranma and want the others to have one of the copies?

Yes, but how can you tell the difference? Who's real and who's fake? Your
copies will be like you in every way... and the only way to tell you're
different will be gone after the first plunge.

I don�t like this option as much as I do the third option.
However, family
honor and obligations would be totally satisfied.  If I am to be a man of
honor, this is the path I must take.  Kami forgive me.

**************

Ranma slowly closed his notebook.  He leaned back and stretched.
[Well, that
was easier than I thought it would be.  I�ll have to ask Mom and Akane to
help come up with names for all of my other selves.]  He looked
out onto the
school grounds and saw that school was still in session.  [I�ll
wait up here
and run through my katas until school is over.  Then I�ll find
Akane and we
can go to Mom�s house.  I�ll tell Mom and Akane then.  We can then figure
out how to tell Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi.]

**************

Okay, guys what do you think?  Am I developing things too slowly?  I look
forward to getting your C&C.

It just seems like Ranma is doing way too much thinking. I suppose he had it
coming, though, after all the other stuff he's been through. Thought is
good.

--G. Falconar