RE:My Fiance Has Three Other Fiancees (And Changes Sex When Splashed With Water) !
Talk shows, eh? Here's one that I posted a while ago.
The Nanami Jinnai Show!
Nanami stood in front of the large audience in
her three piece armani suit. This was the day of
her first show. She couldn't believe how fast she
had climbed up in the television news industry
from the weather woman to a tv talk show host.
She remembered how she left El Hazard (Who was the
idiot that named that place?) after her ex-boyfriend
had married that bi- uh, Ifurita. She had gone back
to high school and had taken a course in journalism.
The teacher had said something that she would always
remember.
'Try to remain objective. A good reporter looks for the
facts and you're going to have to figure out the rest
for yourself because I have no idea how to run this
class.'
Nanami took in a deep breath and waited for the cameras
to start rolling.
Five... Four... Three... Two... One
Nanami flashed a smile at the audience which were applauding
like a bunch of morons. After the audience had calmed down
she said,"Hello I'm Nanami Jinnai! and this is the Nanami
Jinnai Show! Our first show will be about an issue that touches
our hearts and will make you cry. Beastiality.
Yes, it has been denounced and said to be evil to have sexual intercourse
with animals, but we are going to talk to some people who do
it and you will be the judge of whether it is wrong for humans
to shag cute little critters. Our first guest comes from Cephiro
and she has been having an affair with a rabbit thingy. Come on
out Hikaru Shido!"
The audience applauded as a beautiful red head wearing a school girls outfit
came out onto the stage. She was carrying a white rabbit thingy (What the
hell do
you call it) which is of course Mokona.She took a seat at the center of the
stage and
waited for the crowd to stop clapping.
Nanami said,"So, Hikaru how long have you and Mokona been..." Nanami thrust
her fist out back and forth.
Hikaru blushed and said,"For about a year or so. Mokona is a pretty smooth
talker."
Mokona said,"Pu, pu, pu, pu, pu."
Hikaru said,"Mokona! Stop that! You're embarrassing me!"
Nanami looked confused at the exchange and said,"Uh, what did he say?"
Hikaru said,"You don't want to know."
Nanami said,"I'm sure I don't.Any questions for Ms.Shido?"
A woman raised her hand and Nanami walked over to her. Nanami put the
microphone up to the woman's face. The woman said,"Uh, Is Mokona naked?
Because I don't see-"
Hikaru interrupted,"Mokona's genitalia? Here lemme show you."
Hikaru was about to raise Mokona up when Nanami waved for her not to do it.
Nanami said,"I think we can go onto our next guest. She comes from the
Nerima disctrict of Tokyo. She had a fiancee, but left him for her pet pig.
Please welcome Akane Tendo!"
The audience applauded as a beautiful black haired woman wearing a karate
gi came out holding a very cute pig to her chest. She takes a seat next to
Hikaru.
Nanami said,"Akane why did you leave your fiancee for your pet pig?"
Akane said,"Well, Nanami P-Chan always listens to me and he's never abusive
to me like Ranma is and he's a fantastic lover."
Nanami said,"Uh... Okay. Akane would you like to take some questions?"
"Sure."
Nanami went over to one person and put the microphone in front of their
face.Nanami said,"Maam, do you have a question?"
"Well, no I-"
"Good now tell us what your question is."
The woman looked really nervous and said,"Well, uh what makes the pig-"
"P-Chan!" Akane yelled.
"-P-Chan such a good lover? God I can't believe I asked that."
Nanami ran over to Akane and thrust the microphone in front of her face.
"Well Akane what makes P-Chan such a good lover?"
Akane blushed and said,"I couldn't possibly say that on television."
Nanami gave her a smile and said,"It'll be just between you and me."
Akane said,"Uh, how can it be between just you and me when you're holding
that microphone up to my mouth?"
Nanami laughed and tossed the microphone. She mumbled,"Worked for Connie
Chung."
Akane leaned over to Nanami so she could whisper into her ear. Nanami's eyes
went wide and she said,"No way! That pig can really do that?!"
Akane nodded her head and Nanami just looked dazed and she walked over and
picked up her microphone. Nanami said,"Okay our next guest is a notorious
space pirate and she had a fiancee whom she left for her - is this right Cabbit?
Ryoko!"
The audience applauded as a beautiful (Notice a pattern emerging?) woman
dressed in skin tight clothing with spiky green hair flew on stage. She was
carrying a cabbit in her arms. She took the last empty seat on the stage.
Akane said to Ryoko,"You had a fiancee?"
Ryoko said,"Yes. What is it to you?"
Akane looked Ryoko over and mumbled,"Definitely one of Ranma's fiancees."
Nanami said,"So Ryoko why did you leave your fiancee?"
Ryoko said,"Well first and foremost because of Aeka-"
Nanami asked,"Who's Aeka?"
Ryoko started to glow with battle aura,"She's this little hussy who managed
to get Tenchi into the sack! Grrr. But that's in the past! Because I have
Ryo-oh-ki," Ryoko hugged the cabbit to her chest.
Nanami said to the audience,"Any questions?"
A man wearing a stupid looking hat, a stupid looking shirt, a stupid looking
uh,(you get the idea), raised his hand. Nanami put the microphone up to the
man so he could speak into it.
"I think what you're doing is immoral!" he yelled while pointing a finger at
Ryoko.
Ryoko yelled back,"Hey! What did I do that was so bad?!"
The man said,"You're having sex with a FEMALE cabbit!"
Nanami looked at the cabbit and said,"That's a female?"
The man said,"You should not have sex with animals of the same sex. It ain't
natural! You should be having sex with a male cabbit!"
Ryoko said,"I find it repulsive that you believe that I should sleep with a
certain gender of species! The way I carry out my beastiality is my own
damn business and you can't tell me that I should sleep with a male cabbit!"
The entire audience cheered Ryoko and Nanami said,"Yeah, you go girl!"
Nanami looked at her watch and said,"Well time's up! Any last statements?"
Akane said as she pressed P-Chan to her chest,"Pig sex is the best sex!"
Hikaru said,"You want to see Mokona's genitalia now?"
Nanami cringed and said,"Uh, that's not necessary. Anyway we learned that
there are people who do have sex with animals and they should get the same
love and respect as people who have sex with corpses. Which leads into
tomorrow's show, 'Can there be love after death?' Same Nanami time. Same Nanami
channel!"
And Cut:
Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.