Elsa Bibat wrote:

OK, this is the incomplete 1998 FFML Author Encyclopedia.

<snip, snip here, snip, snip there, and a couple of fa la la's that's
how we save the band-a-width in the merry ole' land of Dos>

Keener is the author of Suicide Blast. Though I think that is his lone
work, it is a masterpiece of evoking emotion and description. I
recomment his work for beginners to study if they need an example for
an emotion fic.

  "Wook, it's just not going to fit."

    "Sure it will, trust me."

    "Twust is eawned thwough mutual wespect and a basic wewaince on the
stabiwity of the intended wecipient... your making fun of my speech
impediment again, awen't you?"

    "Not at all, that was beautiful, weally, it was."

    "You weawize I hate you. By the way, don't you think it's about time
for some quote attwibution?"

    "Nah, I bet the reader has already come up with hundreds of
interesting scenes that would snuggle bug nicely with someone pointing
out the inherent difficulties of ten ton snausages in five pound
sackage. I'd hate to ruin a perfectly good mental image."

    Krudd sighed heavily, a rather intricate affair impossible to
portray in mere quotation. Eyebrows were allowed to exasperate,
shoulders to shruggate and the narrator to elucidate. All in all the
effect was rather impressive for what really came down to an expulsion
of gas on the huntsman's part.

    "Cheater." Keener said accusingly, then he turned to the matter at
hand. That matter being somewhere along the lines of a gazzilion tons of
steel, steam, and dead people. The Soul train made another pass over the
FFML as it's current conductor scanned the parking lot. "Lessee, Spam
parking, Idea Spam parking, Complaining About the Spam parking, Spam
Spam Spam Bake Beans and Spam parking, pregnant woman parking... ever
wonder how you shifts gears on a pregnant woman?"

    "Not weally. Wook, could you just huwwy up and wand? I can't bewieve
Mateal wet you dwive this thing. Couwdn't we have just powted over?"
Krudd asked.

    "Nope, finding a place to park is all part and parcel of the wonders
that is an FFML posting. That and Spam, oh and fic questions, oh and
religious discussions... and ham." Keener looked around, gave his dash
board, plastic Takahashi a noogie for good luck and then tried his best
to squeeze in between a Neko-fist fic, a debate on whether or not Go
Nagi had ever read the Dead Sea Scrolls and if he had, whether or not
they were the inspiration for the breast missiles in Manzinger, and
oddly enough, a rather large supply of HaM. "Sorry about that Gary."

    "So, why exactwy are we hewe? I thought you wewe focusing on your
Wevenge's End stuff, that and Suicide Bwast thwee." Krudd asked as he
stepped down from the massive steam engine.

    "Well, you see I got mentioned in the Encyclopedia thingy Elsa Bibat
was doing."

    "Weawy?" asked Krudd incredusiously. "Misspewwed that."

    "Bite me. Anyway, though I'm flattered as flattered can be that
anyone here even remembers my name, and though I have nothing but the
utmost respect, nay, raw naked awe for the holiness that is Elsa..."

    Krudd looked to the camera and sighed "Don't wowwy, westwaining
owders against the Pawwot King are incwedibly easy to get."

    "I'm a wee bit nervous that I'll be looked at as a dark or serious
writer. I don't even like writing the things that muc... what are you
staring at?"

    "Oh, nothing."

    "Well, I mean, my first fics were insane lemons like Mousse's Fun
With Fettillo, considered by many to be truly repulsive, and Ecchi Muyo,
a comedy... of sorts. Then there's Craft 54 Where the !@#$ Are You, a
tribute to lost boys, loster Galaxy Police detectives and Nick at Night.
I even wrote a parody of Suicide Blast called, Suicide Baste. I dunno, I
guess it's that most of my humor works, besides the one mentioned above
either really sucked or were posted to Revenge's End."

    "Hmmm, sounds wike something you shouwd disscuss with her."

    "I tried," Keener sighed, "Either she's ignoring me, which is
unlikely, she's far too nice of a person to do that. Or my posts haven't
gotten through. So, as the Encyclops has gone to the public eye, so must
I."

    Keener turned to the camera, smiled sweetly and batted bishonen
eye's at the viewers. "Okay, I'm currently, along with the
aforementioned doom and gloom, writing an Eva parody fics of sorts. It's
kind of on of those challenge fics, but one that lasts more then two K
and even has a plot... kind of. It's also to celebrate my getting
accepted into a certain writer's guild that shall remain nameless till
the fic is ready. It's called, The Human Caffination Project. I hope you
guys read and enjoy. Go ahead Krudd."

    "Go ahead and what?"

    "Do the ad slogan."

    "Do I have to?"

    "No, we could just go back to Wogs N Wuv."

    Krudd went several shades of red and a few indescribable shades of
plaid. "Ahem, Pawwot! It's NOT Just For Extensional Angst Anymowe."

    "Ah, true and good and misspelled like a parrot should. Goodnight
folks!"