[FFML] [X-Over + Original] Kawaiikune Team Fighters Commercial 1

Kawaiikune Team Fighters Commercial 1
by Tin (fenrirwolf@geocities.com)

[blank screen]

Mr. Universe's Voice Over: From the four corners
of the universe they gathered...

[Stars begin to twinkle into existence, revealing
the blank screen for the night sky  it is with
little planets, meteor belts, and starships.]

M.U.V.O.: And were destroyed.

[Suddenly everything explodes in a blast of white
light as the driving soundtrack begins. The viewer's
heart starts pounding faster than a speeding bullet
as the thrill sequence begins. This whole sequence
is filled with flashing lights and colors instead
of backgrounds.]

Cue Song: Very Masculine Art of Fighting
Another stormy evening           
Another final reckoning 	 
The weak are stripped away    
Never to be seen                     
Another lover on the street    
Lost among the city's heat     
Another one gone away          
Never to return to                   

[As the first verse plays we see a blond white guy
in a Dragon Ball Z T-Shirt (Adam) skillfully parry
a sword strike from a generic evil man in a long
dark cloak using only a credit card. A guy with
flashing eyes and long hair waving wildly in the
wind we assume to exist suddenly transforms into
a bigger scalier more clawed version of himself
before we can get a good look. He then eats a Giant
Boar Nature God and gets sick as we cut to yet a
third guy, this one an Oriental one with glasses
and short combed black hair looking very out of place
in a trenchcoat (Ivan). He is waving a shotgun around 
at a bunch of very menacing Average American 
Audience members as he flees in terror. Finally we 
see a shorter than rest guy with a rusty toned face
and shirt stating that "There's always time for a
Quick-key," (Jeff-kun) waving a large iron bar and
chasing around a screaming schoolgirl. She runs off
camera and Jeff-kun tries to follow, but the screen
edges seemed to have suddenly turned solid as he runs
smack into them and drops the mallet. It disappears to
The Akane Mallet Universe. He stumbles backwards a 
little bit and starts dancing like a bear as we cut to the
chorus.]

CHORUS:
*Giant whirling clouds of destruction
Replacing the tears in your eyes
Drawing in all hope for tomorrow
Till the pressure makes you cry
At the point when only the strong survive*

[Ivan runs on camera and starts punching an oblivious
Jeff-kun in the stomach. Adam falls from the ceiling,
executes a perfect landing roll and comes up in a 
fighting stance. He leaps to grab the other two in a
super throw but they all turn in astonishment as a
super Kawaii girl in a skin-tight revealing and
multi-colored suit runs on camera. The three begin
drooling, but suddenly reel back in shock as she 
quickly changes into a haggard looking Patrick,
hacking and wheezing from the exertion of being adored
by guys. 

[The background becomes white as the very buff macho
masculine guitar solo begins and behind them appears
the usual assorted cast of characters including a 
(different) Kawaii girl in a skin-tight suit covered in
ornamentation, a big dumb guy holding a club made of 
badly drawn wall scrolls, three different silent cynical
teenage girls, an assortment of cute little fuzzy things, 
and a gauntguy whose hair has no hope of ever seeing comb 
or cut sitting at a computer typing away when he finds the 
time.]

Mr. Universe's Voice Over: Once they stood for nothing.

[Patrick points to the people behind him and gives the
other guys the signal. They nod.]

Mr. Universe's Voice Over: Now they fight not only for
what they love...

[They all suddenly assume their macho impressive stances
and smile for the camera.]

Mr. Universe's Voice Over: But for everything. 

[The screen goes blank. The music stops.]

Mr. Universe's Voice Over: Kawaiikune Team Fighters.
Coming to a computer screen near you. 

[Ivan appears on camera again flexing in a close up.]

Ivan: Kawaii?  Matte... Totemo Kawaiikune!