Right. I have been asked 'Tellytubbies?! What the hell are they?!'
I'm sorry.
Explanation is as follows.
Tellytubbies is a pre-school childrens' TV series that you either love
or hate. It is very popular among students, as it is highly likely that
it was created on some form of chemical stimulation. There are four
tellytubbies, and their vacuum. They live in a world where the sun has a
baby's face, there are speaking tubes all over, and a giant windmill.
The Tellytubbies themselves look like giant babies, have daft arials on
their heads, and TV sets mounted in their stomachs.
Dossiers as follows:
General information::
Diet: Tubby custard (Revolting pink glop) and Tubby toast (Brown slabs)
Activities: Running, giggling, playing hide-and-seek and generally
getting on my nerves
Soundbites: 'Eh-oh!' (Hello), 'Uh-oh!', 'Big hug!'
Location: Tellytubby land
(Feeling sick yet?)
Individuals:
Name: Tinky Winky
Colour: Purple
Sex: Presumed male
Affectation: Handbag(!)
Tendencies: None on record
Name: Dipsy
Colour: Green
Sex: Presumed male
Affectation: Hat
Tendencies: Dances (Badly)
Name: Laa Laa
Colour: Yellow
Sex: Presumed female
Affectation: Ball (Keeps getting thrown off screen and returning as
different shapes- Often as a capital letter E)
Tendencies: Sings a lot.
Name: Po
Colour: Red
Sex: Presumed male
Affectation: Scooter
Tendencies: Sings in Cantonese (Of all things!)
Name: Noo Noo (The Vacuum cleaner!)
Colour: Don't ask- I don't know
Sex: Machine
Affectation: Looks like a deformed Elephant
Tendencies: Obsessive cleaning, terrorising the Tellytubbies.
Suggested course of action: massive nuclear strike.
That is all I have to say on this distasteful subject. In Britain, it's
on twice a day (A Repeat from yesterday as well as a new part) and is
driving most sane people insane.
It has been sold to Japan, Israel, a lot of Europe, and, most recently,
America.
I think Barney may be in trouble.
The Novocastrian Samurai:
HATES THE TELLYTUBBIES!