Well, here we have yet another unfinished story by me. Maybe some day I'll
get around to finishing what I start. Anyway, enjoy. C&C as always
appreciated.

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MISERY

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Jonathan S. Haas

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Part One: The Discovery

Ryoga Hibiki was warm, snug, and happy, cradled in the arms of the woman
he loved. Of course, he was currently a small black piglet, but that
didn't stop him from enjoying Akane's fingernails scratching down his
back. It was one of the few moments in life he treasured... a shining
point of happiness in a life filled with misery.

He was doubly-cursed, with the body of a pig and an absolutely pathetic
sense of direction. For him, getting from home to the grocery store was
a four-day proposition. He'd learned that if he ever wanted to get to
another city, his best bet was to start off blindly and spend the next
several months praying. That lifestyle necessitated a lot of travel, and
cold water seemed to seek him out. He lived in terror of predators, both
human and animal, who'd enjoy a tasty piglet. A depressing number of
vicious beasts seemed to savor pork.

To make matters even worse, his heart had been stolen by a kind,
beautiful girl. But she was betrothed to his worst enemy, the man
responsible for his curse. An arrogant lout who treated her horribly and
caused her to cry frequently. He was powerless to do anything about it.

That kind of misery builds up inside, and Ryoga had discovered that
there were only two ways to release it. One was in an inhuman fireball
of chi energy called the Shi Shi Hokodan, powered by his negative
energy, capable of incinerating a house. Or a person. The other was by
relaxing in the arms of Akane, letting the touch of her hand and the
sound of her voice wash away in moments the pain of months. Needless to
say, he preferred the second.

So there he was, in her arms, her fingers rubbing his neck just behind
the ears. It had been a bad day for Ranma -- which is to say, a good day
for Ryoga. Akane had caught Ranma with Shampoo again, and then had
gotten to beat the crap out of him while he was making his lame excuses.
She was in a good mood. P-Chan felt warm against her chest.

"You know, P-Chan, that Ranma really is a jerk," she said to him, a
twinkle in her eyes. Ryoga nodded vigorously.

"You don't like him very much, do you?" Ryoga shook his head vehemently.

Akane smiled at him. "It's almost as if you understand me, P-Chan."
Ryoga smiled back at her.

"Aw... you're such a smart pig." Ryoga wriggled with pleasure at the
compliment. He felt good. Akane was smiling at him, and trash-talking
Ranma, and telling him what a good boy he was. Life just didn't get any
better than this.

"I mean, what kind of pig understands Japanese?" Ryoga blinked. That was
said in a different tone of voice than the rest. He felt her hands move.
He looked up at her, and saw with astonishment that her cheerful visage
had given way to a coldly angry mask. She had him firmly gripped by his
bandanna.

"You've always understood every word I've said, haven't you, P-Chan?"
Ryoga stared back, wide-eyed. He had no idea where she was going with
this.

"Remember when I was trapped in that revenge doll, P-Chan? I drew a
picture of myself in the sand for you. You didn't recognize me. Then I
started to write my name, and suddenly you knew who I was. You can
*read* Japanese as well as speak it, P-Chan? You're smarter than I
thought." Ryoga shivered, a drop of sweat rolling down his snout. He
started to get an idea where she was going.

"No pig is *that* smart, P-Chan. I figure you're some pervert who's got
a Jusenkyo curse, am I right?" Ryoga shook his head violently in terror.

"See? You understand me. If you were really a pig, you'd have no idea I
asked you a question just now." Akane reached behind her bed with one
hand, still keeping a firm grip on Ryoga's bandanna with the other. She
came back up with a steaming kettle.

"Do you know what *this* is, P-Chan?" Ryoga, petrified, squirmed for all
he was worth to get away. But Akane's grip on his bandanna was secure.

"Look how terrified you are of hot water. If I had any doubts, you just
erased them for me. Now let's find out who's the freak who's been
sleeping in my bed. Whoever you are, I'm going to beat you to a bloody
pulp, I assure you." Akane raised the kettle. Slowly she brought it over
to him.

I'm finished, thought Ryoga. This is it. She knows. As the kettle drew
ever nearer, he slumped in defeat, tears leaking from his eyes.

Then resolve took him. No, he thought. It does not end like this. If I
go out, I go out fighting. With that, he renewed his struggles, harder
than ever, straining with all his might for escape.

"Ready, P-Chan? Here it comes..." Akane said, her voice containing a
horrible kind of dreadful glee. Ryoga looked up, squealing, and saw the
spout of the teakettle directly over his head, not five centimeters
away. Bathed in sweat and feeling his muscles scream in protest already,
he redoubled his efforts.

Slowly Akane tipped the kettle.

The first drop of steaming water dripped out.

Then a stream.

And then...

** SPLASH!! **

Akane screamed in pain as the boiling water poured all over her skirt,
passing
through the empty space where P-Chan no longer was. An empty bandanna
was clenched in her fist. Gritting her teeth in pain and anger, Akane
stood up, her senses alert. He was... there! Underneath the desk! As
soon as Akane realized it, Ryoga burst forth, making for the door as
fast as his stubby little legs would carry him.

"Come back here, pervert!" Akane screeched, and gave chase. Ryoga was
already exhausted, and his stride as a pig was so short that Akane
gained on him all the way down the hall. Ryoga flew easily down the
stairs and increased his lead there, but inevitably she closed the gap
once they reached the yard. But Ryoga ran faster than he'd ever run
before as a pig (faster even than when trying to get away from a hungry
wolf in the forests of China), and Akane's legs started to really hurt
from the burn she'd given herself. She slowed down, and Ryoga escaped
into the night.

As he ran, he heard her voice calling after him. "You're DEAD, pervert!
If I ever find out who you are, I will personally feed you your liver!"
He flew, trying desperately to ignore the pain in his shattered heart,
trying not to think of what the rest of his life would bring.

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Author's notes:

Here's yet another thing to put on my pile of unfinished fiction, which
maybe I'll get around to finishing someday. C&C greatly appreciated at
positron@gte.net.

Most of the "Akane finds out" stories I've read have had one of two plots:
Ryoga gets splashed with cold water near Akane, or P-Chan gets splashed with
hot water near Akane. It's kind of insulting to Akane, isn't it? She'll
never realize the truth unless it's demonstrated right in front of her?
She's not a Kuno. What if she gradually came to realize that P-Chan was able
to do things that no ordinary pig could do? She's fairly bright and she
knows of four Jusenkyo curses, so it shouldn't be that much of a leap to
guessing P-Chan's nature.

This story is my exploration into two questions: how would Akane react to
discovering that P-Chan was a cursed human, but not knowing who... and how
would Ryoga react to being welcome around Akane only when *not* in pig form?

The first part of my answer to the first question is above. As realization
slowly starts to intrude on Akane's brain, she denies it at first. Then, as
the evidence piles up, she becomes more and more suspicious. She heats a
kettle of water and hides it in her room. Then she puts "P-Chan" to the
test... making him react in ways no pig could possibly react. Her suspicions
confirmed, she's kind of in shock. Remember, this is her beloved pet, whom
she's slept with countless times. She slowly reaches for the water, her fury
slowly building. By the time she grabs it, she's seeing the world through a
red-hot glare of anger and hatred. She sees that the pig is terrified of
her, so she deliberately makes him suffer. Is that too cruel for her? I
dunno... I think it's plausible after such a betrayal.


(C) 1998 Jonathan S. Haas, but do anything you'd like with it, except
put your own name on it or sell it or anything stupid like that. Ranma
universe (C) somebody else, whom I respectfully request not to sue.