*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO)
EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 3
(A Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball Z/Warner Brothers Oscarfic MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....
"Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the
distributors of her work.
"Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property
of Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their work.
"Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the
distributors of his work
"Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not
intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this
but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think
of this as another form of C&C. ;)
Warning: This fic contains mature content and a pinch of lemon. If
you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If
not, enjoy!
(Door 6: It slides open on both sides..)
(Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you
move on..)
(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)
(Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..)
(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)
(Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.)
(Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.)
Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.
Tom: Well, let's recap the fanfic....Oscar's a sick freak and Lola's his
latest victim. Any questions? No? Good.
as Bugs was passing by, but when he was about to turn,
Crow: For once, Bugs didn't miss that left turn at Alburquerque....
he saw Oscar and Lola, and he only backed up, hiding and listening
to what they where saying.
Joel: There's a reason they call him *Bugs*....
Oscar then managed to finish "I...like you Lola..i like you a lot"
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I like you Lola....i'll kill you last....
Joel: (imitating Lola) He likes me! He really really likes me!
Lola turned at him "I know, many ppl had said that to me...",
Tom: But you're the first hermaphrodite that's even suggested it....
Crow: Ppl? Isn't that one of M. Llave's trademarks?
Joel: (singing) Ppl....Ppl who need Ppl....
Crow: Beware! The invasion of the Pod Ppl!
Oscar then gulped,
Crow: Oscar. The official new mascot of 7-11!
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Gulp the Gulp! He he he!
and took a serious look
Tom: At what he was writing?
Joel: Be serious....
"but i like you not just for what you are,
Crow: ....but what you're wearing.
but for what i am when i'm with you..." Lola's eyes lighted up, and
replied
Joel: (imitating Lola) I've seen the light! You're a freak!
"But...maybe you're different" ,When Bugs heard that he closed his
fist in jealousy,
Tom: Why doesn't Bugs just order one of his gang to rub Oscar out
with a Chicago typewriter?
Joel: You're thinking of *BUGSY*, Crow....
Lola had refused him, so many times not even after the "Game of the
century"
Joel: Final Fantasy VII?
Crow: Dune II?
Tom: Hungry Hungry Hippos?
with the Monstars,
Tom: Yeah, right....More like the "Exploitation of the century".
Crow: No, that honor was locked up by *The Wizard*....
Joel: With the *Gameboy* episode of *Captain N: The Game Master*
coming in at a very close second....
he never got to the likes of her, even with his kiss.
Joel: That's what Bugs gets for not chewing the right gum....
Crow: Dentine, Bugs! Try using it!
Oscar smiled happy that she wasn't mad at him, that would suck like
never before.
Tom: Uh, that's being awfully presumptuous, Oscar....
Crow: Because, you see, a woman *always* gives a better blowjob to a
guy she isn't peeved at....
Joel: Crow....
He then leaned back, and layed on the soft green grass, with Lola,
Tom: (Starting to vibrate) Oh no! Nononononononononononononono...
Crow: (Imitating Shang Tsung) IT HAS BEGUN!
he finally said "It's weird...talking nice with a coach...
Tom: Unlike Oscar's high school coach who takes sadistic pleasure in
making him climb the rope repeatedly in gym class....
Crow: I wonder which change room Oscar has to use?
Joel: Don't go there, Crow....
but, what happened with Bugs?", Lola sighed and answered "Oh him?
he's just a hopeless asshole...flirting with every F.rabbit he sees, acting
"Cool" all the time..sheesh",
Tom: Oscar even swears in shorthand....
Crow: F. Oscar-isms!
Joel: What other rabbits is she talking about? Warner Brothers had to
create Lola because their weren't any other female rabbits other than
Tiny Toon's Babs....
Crow: I guess Fudd killed them all....
Oscar chuckled lightly, as he said "So much for him",
Joel: Oh yeah, Oscar's the North Pole compared to Bugs, all right....
Tom: He makes the 7up cool spot look shallow....
Crow: He's so cool, they call him Joe!
(Tom and Joel stare at Crow)
Crow: Joe! You know....Joe Cool? Snoopy's alter-ego?
Tom: (shakes his head) Good grief....
Bugs was simply furious when he heard her.Suddenly, Lola rolled
>from her back to her stomach, and got closer to Oscar,
Tom: (Imitating Diner guy from Space Balls) Oh no....not again....
Crow: WATER, MY ASS! GET THAT RABBIT SOME PEPTO
BISMOL!!!
Joel: Check please!
he blushed lightly and nervously asked "Ummm Lola?..."
Joel: (imitating Oscar) I've really got to go to the bathroom!
Lola smiled as she kissed him in the LIPS,
Crow: Those buck-teeth'll get you every time.
Oscar went wide-eyed, one of his fantasies had come true,
Joel: So what else is new?
Crow:(Imitating Oscar) Let's see....Boinked talking cat?
Tom: Check.
Crow:(Oscar) Boinked a Catwoman?
Tom: Check.
Crow:(Oscar) Made a female skunk fall in love with me at a glance?
Tom: Check.
Crow: (Oscar) Dissed Elmer Fudd?
Tom: Check.
Crow: (Oscar) Blackmailed Buster Bunny?
Tom: Check.
Crow:(Oscar) Got kissed by a rabbit and dragged the reputation of
another *rabbit* through the mud?
Tom: Check.
Joel: Where and what will Oscar strike next?
Bugs's head was RED steam shooting outta his ears,
Joel: He's turned into Mysterio?
and a lil devil appeared at his left side.
Joel: The lil angel was too busy stuffing her face with Philadelphia
Cream Cheese....
Crow: (imitating devil) I'll make you a deal, Bugs. I'll whack Oscar
and you help me convince a little Mexican girl to steal and do bad
things....
Tom: Hey, we're not supposed to know about that movie yet....
Crow: It's a fanfic. You should really just relax....
Lola parted from him, "Lola..." Oscar weakly said, "I know it feels
weird, you're 14
Joel: Lola's 14? Since when?
Tom: I know it's Loony-Tune Land and all, but a 14 year old university
coach may be shaving the line a *little* too thin....
Crow: Shame on you, Bugs! You're over 60 and you're lusting after a
14 year old bunny?
Joel: I'm pretty sure Oscar got this one wrong, Crow....
and i'm...well
Crow: ....a freak who loves pussy.
Joel: Crow....
i can't tell you everything do i?
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, She don't know me vewwy well, do she?
He he he!
he he, i like you too Oscie.." Lola added, as Oscar's mind played a
small flashback,
Joel: Aw man, as if *this* fic wasn't enough to deal with....
Crow: I hope this flashback is more interesting than the dull old guy's
from Cave Dwellers....
it was when Artemis, and Felicia told him just that
Tom: Let it be known from this moment on that all of Oscar's love
interests will mistake him for a member of the Little Rascals!
(Read my other past fanfics),
Crow: Read our lips. Not even if the Dominion Puma Twins walked
up to us in latex and begged us on their hands and knees, promising us
a lifetime of unrestricted sexual servitude in exchange.
Joel: Actually, those are *YOUR* words, Crow. But I'll take a pass as
well....
Tom: Uh....how long would they promise to serve me?
Joel: Tom!
Tom: Er...nevermind!
Oscar then caressed Lola's cheek, working up to her face,
Tom: Woah! Gives new meaning to the phrase *cheek to cheek*....
Crow: I'll say one thing for Oscar. His technique is a lot better than
Torgo's....
Joel: Or Tor Johnson for that matter....
Lola smiled with her eyes closed and, then stood up She picked up
her bag and said
Tom: (imitating Lola) Just wait until this fic is over, you litttle....
"Well, c'ya around Oscie" Oscar also stood up and smiled , waving
her goodbye, oscar left, but when he turned in the corner, he saw a
furious Bugs, "Oh Hiya Bugs!"
Tom: (imitating Bugs eating a carrot) Eh, What's up, doc?
Bugs frowned "Don't hiya me kid! what you where doing with my
gal?!" Oscar pouted with a smile
Crow: Pouted with a smile? How the hell do you do that?
Joel: If you keep making faces like that, it might stay that way....
Tom: It's the Nuku Nuku School of Smiling. Once you graduate, you
can never frown again....no matter how hard you try.
Crow: Kinda puts Stimpy's *Happy Helmet* to shame, eh?
"YOUR gal?!""Yes my gal, you little S.O.B."
Joel: What is he, Gabbo now?
Tom: Is is my imagination or has Bugs's English improved
tremendously?
Crow: As opposed to Oscar's?
Oscar then ignored him, and left, but Bugs grabbed him
Joel: Bugs must have some really long arms....
Tom: (imitating Bugs) I learned this trick from Jack Deebs....
Crow: Well, this *IS* Loony-Tune Land....
Tom: Maybe Bugs borrowed the banana picker from Herman Toothrot....
Joel: Lay off the Lucasart games, Tom....
by his Sailormoon shirt and said
Tom: (imitating Bugs) Nice material doc, Polyester?
"You mess with my Lola, you mess with me" Oscar had a serious look
on his face, "Let me go Bugs,"
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Watch out Bugs, I know Kung Fu, Tai Kuan Do,
Jeet Kune Do, Kung Pao, Dai Dop Wooey and several other intimidating
Chinese words!
Tom: (imitating Bugs) Oh yeah? Well, I'm kicked some serious ass on
the video game circuit, doc! Besides, my feet are lucky!
Bugs grinned "Aw the poor lil wuss is scared?"
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Why should I be? My name's in the title.
Joel: Bugs used an Oscar-ism. He's finished....
Oscar the closed his eyes, and hit Bugs's wrist making him let go off,
Tom: Go off where?
and then twisted Bugs's arm, driving him into the ground, smashing
Bugs's face into the pavement,
Crow: You know, I've always wanted someone to teach Bugs a lesson
in humility but Oscar wasn't the someone I had in mind....
Joel: Hey, who better to take Bugs's ego down a peg than an
egomaniac....
Tom: If Oscar's a skunk, wouldn't it be easier to just spray him?
he applied the SHARPSHOOTER on him,
Joel: (imitating Bret Hart) Hey! Only Owen and I get to use that move!
Crow: (imitating Chris Hyatte) MY GOD!!!! OSCAR RIPS OFF
EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!
Tom: Are you sure it isn't the *SCORPION DEATH LOCK*? Which
leg is he using?
and even if Bugs was a cartoon character, he couldn't do nothing
against the leg-lock,
Tom: Because this is a self-insertion fanfic and in Oscar's sweaty hands,
that's more deadly than *THE DIP*....
Crow: He couldn't do nothing. So does that mean he had to do
something?
Joel: Don't be so double-negative, Crow....
Crow: Bite me twice!
Bugs yelled out in pain, as Oscar tightened the grip, but he eventually
freed him, Oscar pouted and said "Lola is right, you ARE pathetic"
he strolled away.
Crow: Hoo boy....
Tom: Oscar, you bastard! All Bugs did was make us laugh....
Joel: I guess we can add fans of Warner Brothers to the list of people
waiting to flame Oscar....
Tom: If Oscar beats up Taz next, I'm leaving....
Meanwhile, the B.Ball youma was still on his way to ACME city,
grunting and destroying everything,
Tom: (imitating Ryoga) Furikan Koko doco da?
which no one could see it cuz he was in a dessert ha ha haaa!
Crow: What kind? A piece of cake? A bowl of butterscotch pudding?
Tom: He's on a hot fudge Sunday?
Crow: Oh....I get it! The youma's inside the cherry on top!
Tom: That's the first thing in this fic that makes sense....
Back in looniversity,
Joel: ....Furball was hiding in the basement, praying that Oscar
wouldn't find him....
Oscar was in the classroom with the rest,
Tom: (imitating Professor) What's this *and the rest...* crap?!?
Fifi was still wanting to know where he was from,
Crow: I'm guessing *Parts Unknown*....
Buster was at his side "Yo Osc, great move there in the gym eh?"
Oscar grinned and replied
Joel: (imitating Oscar) You're not getting my Bud Light, Buster....
"yeah, i thought i'd lose all my Saiy....skills when i got to this di....i
mean city"
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Which i'm writing about in this shi....i mean
witty fanfic so people can flam....compliment me on my work.
He smiled nervously, Shirley came and said "Like i feel something
weird on you Osc.." Oscar raised an eyebrow, nervously"like what?"
Crow: (imitating Shirley) It's as if, like, you had two kinds of genitals!
Joel: Crow....
Shirley rubbed her chin "Something as if you weren't from this world
or sumthing.."
Tom: (imitating Obi Wan) It's as if thousands of readers suddenly cried
out in warning and then were suddenly silenced....
Joel: (imitating Obi Wan) It's as if you're not only an incredibly crappy
fanfiction writer, but a bestial hermaphrodite too!
"You must be malfunctioning Shirl" Plucky interrupted,
Tom: Shirley's an android?
Crow: If that's true, A valley girl must have programmed her....
Joel: (imitating Shirley) Like, drive not ready, ok? Abort, retry, fail, or
some junk? Like I think I blew a circuit or SUMTHING!
Tom: Shirley is but a poor freebot....
"Like i wasn't talking to you" Shirley responded to Plucky's
interruption.
Joel: Pay no attention to that duck behind the desk!
Oscar left the classrom before the next teacher came in,
Tom: Even Oscar's afraid to mess with Onsen-Mark Sensei....
and went outside the facility, and into it's backyard, he thoughtg it'd
be good if he increased his power during his stance in here,
Crow: "Thoughtg?"
Joel: I guess a super-saiyajin can't be bothered with mundane things
like editing out typos....
Tom: Or pursuing relationships with the opposite sex of his own
species....
so he went to the perfecto prep. He eventually got there,
Crow: (imitating Oscar) *gasp* *wheeze* I knew I should
have....*wheeze*....hailed a cab....
Tom: (imitating Benny the Cab) Can't you read?!? *Off-Duty*!!!
Joel: Bugs might have been willing to take him there by tunneling,
but Oscar had to be the big man on campus....
he looked up and saw the spooky castle
Crow: Xanadu, stately home of Charles Foster Kane....
Joel: (whispering) Rosebud....
"Hm it's here alright"
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I reckon this must be the place, I
reckon....
He then walked to the main entrance and entered,
Joel: Boy, that Oscar sure knows how to make an entrance....
it was too quiet to be Perfecto prep suddenly, the floor opened and
almost swallowed Oscar
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, This place ain't perfect! It sucks!!
Joel: (groans)
"Whoa!" Oscar shocked as managed to jump away,
Tom: Tom dismayed as shakes his head at lousy grammar....
One of the Perfecto bullies stept out and said "Who are u
Crow: (imitating Rocky J. Squirrel) Again?!?
Tom: Did New Line Cinema pay Oscar to promote Jackie Chan's
latest film or what?!?
Joel: (imitating Rambo) I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE....
and what are u doing here?" Oscar noticed him and responded
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I'm selling these fine leather jackets....
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I have come here to whoop ass and screw
toons! And I'm all out of whoop ass. He he he!
"I'm here to challenge Roderick Rat!" the bullie bursted out in
laughter "AAH HBAHA HA HA!
Tom: (imitating tech) Uh, sorry about that! The laugh track machine
was jammed for a split second. Continue reading....heh....
YER KILLING ME! HA HA HA U BEAT OUR TOP HEAD
HONCHO! HA HA"
Crow: Yeah, it is to laugh....
Tom: (imitating Bully) No one can see the Roderick, not no way, not
no how!
Oscar ignored him and with a pout, he leaved the place
Joel: Oscar made like a tree and *leaved*.
Tom: (imitating Steve Urkel) I don't have to take this! I'm going
home!
and went inside the instalation.
Joel: So Oscar left by going back inside, or....?
Tom: Oscar threw leaves all over the place and toilet papered their trees
in bitter revenge.
Crow: Commence the pantsing, gentlemen!
"Who the hell is him?!" Roderick Rat asked furiously,
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, him is my!
Tom: (imitating Cagney) You....dirty rat....
Crow: Vewwy weww. wewease Wodewick!
"Ummm i don't know sir, he's from here..." One of his slaves said,
Joel: A member of the *ratpack* I presume?
Crow: After Space Jam, the Monstars found themselves blacklisted in
the toon industry by Bugs Bunny and were forced to find work
wherever they could get it....
Roedrick Rat then smiled "He he he..if he wants to fight me...then i
shall plase him"
Tom: Plase?
Crow: Place? Phase? Praise? Phrase? Please?
Joel: (shrugs) You got me....
He then steped out of his place, and into the hallway, were Oscar was
still looking for him.
Joel: Where was he before? I'm confused....
Tom: Okay. Oscar mistakes the word *where* for the word *were*
and vice-versa?
Joel: Yep.
Tom: Okay, just wanted to clear that up.
Crow: Why is Oscar picking a fight with Roderick anyway? What did
he ever do to Oscar?
Joel: Well, since there's no fierce street dogs around to abuse, Oscar
had to substitute rats, I guess....
A door opened and Roderick came out of it
Tom: It wasn't a closet door, was it?
Joel: Tom....
"Rod..how nice to see you" Oscar said with a teasing voice, Roderick
then took off his cape and said
Joel: (imitating Roderick) TOTORO! TOTOR....oops, I mean.....
TORO! TORO!
Crow: Wait a minute! Since when does Roderick wear a cape?!?
Tom: He's stealing Frank Costanza's Lawyer's wardrobe now?
"So you wanna challenge me..what are u an idiot?" Oscar then
replied "Idiot is what idiot does"(It's Forrest bum coming soon to a
bad neighborhood teathre near u)
Tom: Behold Oscar, entertainment critic!
Joel: You haven't known pain until you've experienced Oscar trying to
be funny....
Crow: (imitating Gump) Life is like a crappy self-insertion fic....It
really sucks and you have to learn to MST it....
Tom: Wow, that's deep, Crow....
Roderick Rat then said
Tom: (imitating Roderick) Ask a stupid question....
"Show me what u got chump" Oscar grinned and his image suddenly
became fuzzy
Crow: Uh oh. Look like we've got more technical problems....
Joel: Do not attempt to adjust your computer!
Tom: Should we take a commercial break?
Crow: Sounds good to me.
Joel: We'll be right back after these messages....
* * *
NOW AVAILABLE ON HOME COMPUTERS....
Lunari: The competition was fierce and the tension is high....
YOU CAN SEE THE CONTRIBUTIONS....
Jarald: People don't expect a stand-alone lemon to have anything but
sex. Those that do, though, are even better.
OF OVER 20 AUTHORS....
Angel: Good fight scenes are very difficult to write yet some of the
best has been written in the past year.
AS THEY HONOR THE FANFICTION OF 1997....
Shori: "Um, I've never done this before, speaking in front of a crowd
before, but I'll try my best.
LIKE NEVER BEFORE....
Gary: This is one we've literally been waiting years for. If it doesn't
win, it's because the readers have all died of old age.
Kasumi: "Could it be...?"
Wilde: "It is.
NOW AVAILABLE FROM THE DESK OF MEGANE 6.7....
*"THE FIRST ANNUAL CHICKEN BALLS AWARDS"*
E-MAIL FOR YOUR COPY TODAY....
* * *
Joel: Okay, we're back! Is the fanfic fixed?
Tom: I think so. Let's move on....
"What the..." Roderick blinked, Oscar was righ behind him "Hello"
Roderick shocked and leaped, smashing his head to the ceiling and
then falling hard on his back SMASH,
Tom: ....TV?
Crow: Roderick needs to cut down on the booze....
Roderick was astounded to see such speed on a 14/skunk,
Joel: 14/skunk seeks 14/cat to star in BS/fanfic...
Tom: Cute, Joel....
he then launched a right fist into Oscar But he dodged it easily
Tom: Considering the punch was thrown *at* Oscar, it's easy for the
person throwing the punch to dodge it....
Crow: Oscar should have hired Flashman or RpM to choreograph his
fight scenes....
"That's your maximum strength?"
Joel: (as Oscar) I bet you don't even come with the power of bleach!
Tom: Roderick's no Star Wolf, that's for sure....
Roderick, already furious, made a dual fist strike,
Crow: If it's dual, should that be *fists*?
but Oscar grabbed hold of Roderick's fists and started to crunch it's
bones,
Joel and Tom: (singing) Them bones, them bones, them dry bones....
Crow: Mmmm....I have a sudden urge for a Twix....
Tom: I could go for a Nestlie chocolate bar, myself....
"ARRGHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?" Roderick yelled out, as
his bones were being cracked,
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, just cracking your knuckles for ya. He
he he!
Oscar grinned and let him go. Oscar then sighed depressively as he
thought Roedrick would be more of a challenge
Tom: And Oscar wept because he had no more fanfiction worlds to
conquer....
Joel: Of course, he hasn't seduced Marissa Picard yet....
Tom: ....god....no....
"Roderick. Expect to see the Looniversity's students, to be better than
you" He warned him and strolled away,
Crow: (imitating Roderick) Like I give a rat's ass....
Joel: Crow....
Tom: (imitating Roderick) If your writing's any indication of the
Looniversity's abilities, we have nothing to worry about! HA HA HA
HA HA!!!!
the perfecto bullies, tryed to attack him of course, but roderick
stopped them "WAIT! Let him go!"
All: (singing) Let him be....Let him be....
Tom: There are no answers....
Roderick yelled at them, the bullies were puzzled "But why?"
Tom: (imitating Roderick) Look at the title of this fic you idiot! How
much of a fighting chance do you think we'll have?
Joel: (imitating Roderick) Besides, if we don't get him, the MSTers
will....
Crow and Tom: (imitating bullies) Duh, good plan, boss! He, he, he....
Roderick then stood up and thought "If the looniversity is gonna have
ppl like him, then i must train my boys as well".
Crow: (imitating Roderick) All right, you dirty rats! We're going to
train like never before to beat those Loony Tunes! Luckily, we've
managed to recruit a couple of soldiers from a recent war to train us
personally.
Tom: (imitating Nabiki) All right maggots! I want to see everyone
smashing through tables right now! My friend, Kunou-Chan, will
demonstrate....
Joel: (imitating Kunou) Remember, cretins! Your feet must falls on
the table first before the rest of the body arrives! Like
this....TOGGG!!!
Then at recess...
Tom: ARGH!! That's it! I don't care if this *IS* Loony Tune Land,
there's are *NO* recesses in University! Oscar tried to pull this crap
in his high school too but *I'M* not going to let him get away with it!
Joel: Tom, calm down! It's not worth getting all upset about it....
Tom: I'm sorry, Joel....(sobs)....It's just this fic is so stupid, it's
maddening....
Joel: Hang in there, Tommy....
Crow: Besides, Oscar needed an excuse for an outdoor scene. Maybe
it's lunchtime?
Oscar was alone, sitting leg-crossed
Joel: Thank god for small favors....
and eye closed,
Crow: But he still kept an eye open for trouble.
Shirley had finished her lunch, and suddenly found Oscar
Crow: See? I told you it was lunchtime.
Tom: Oh, shut up....
Joel: Shirley should have quit when Oscar was lost....
"Like how does he have such high KI?" she thought, as she also
could feel others's KI, after all she IS the spiritual girl in TTA,
Crow: Toons Transcending Afterlife?
Joel: Thoroughly Toasted Airheads?
Crow: Totally There Anonymous?
Joel: Tipsy Tibetan Alcoholics?
(Crow and Tom stare at Joel)
Joel: What?
Oscar opened his eyes and smiled "Come on out Shirl i know yer
there"
Tom: (imitating megaphone) WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED....
COME OUT WITH YOUR AURA UP....AND NONE OF THAT
WAYU WAYU WAYU NONSENSE OR WE'LL OPEN FIRE....
Shirley smiled guilty and strolled to his side "how'd ya know i was
like here?" Oscar sitted normaly not cross-legged or anything, and
replied
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, my foot's asleep!
"As u, i can feel your KI, and i can even blast it out as a power
beam"
Crow: Oh, what is he, Oscar Hinako-Sensei now? Gimme a break!
Shirley blinked "Like, how do you do that?" Oscar grimaced
Tom: (Imitating Oscar) You're ... standing on ... my .. groin ...
"You mean, u don't know how to do it?...
Crow: Just put your lips together and blow ...
Joel: Crow!
i'm surprised, you, being the spiritual type in the classrom, and u don't
know how to blast your KI...whoa"
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Like, What are u, stupid or sumthing!?!
Tom: (Imitating Druggie) Hehehe....wo-ooah ....This is some great shit.
Crow: (Imitating Druggie) Yeah, this totally blasts my Ki....
Joel: (imitating Joey Lawrence) Woah....
Shirly pouted "Like, just show it to me ok?" Oscar agreed, and stood
up "Look carefuly ok?" "Ok" Oscar got in his battle stance and
concentrated some of his KI "Kaameee-Haameee.."
Tom: Haammee and cheeseee....
Joel: (singing) He's a fire starter, twisted fire starter....
A blue energy ball formed between his 2 hands, Shirley was astounded
and slightly backed up "HA!!" Oscar yelled, and released his
Kame-Hame-ha into the atmosphere.
Crow: (imitating Shirley) Like, what manner of man are you that can
summon ki energy without flint or tinder or skill or spirit or some junk
like that?
Tom: (imitating NASA) Roger that, control, We have an unidentified
flying object that just entered Earth's orbit. We are checking it out
now....It appears to be some sort of Hawaiian royalty....
Joel: Look out! I hear he packs a mean punch!
Buster, Babs and the rest saw the blue beam emanate from the school,
and quickly went to the source of it.
Crow: (British Accent) THERE'S THE WITCH! BURN HER!!!
BURN HER!!!
Tom: I thought Oscar was outside the school? Who's editing this fanfic
anyway?
"Whoa, like Bravo!"
Tom: And the arts community weeps openly.
Crow: If they aren't too busy retching....
Oscar chuckled a bit "Thanks, did you see how it's done?" he asked
her,
Tom: (imitating Shirley) Like, beg your pardon? I was talking to some
celestial spirits or some junk like that and I wasn't paying attention....
Crow: (imitating Shirley) Like, you scream "HA!!" really, really loud
like an idiot, right?
"Yep, like i'm gonna try it right now" Shirl responded and stood up
"Ok, show me" Oscar said, steping back a little, Shirley then
concentrated and eventually managed to get a small blue ball on her
hands
(Joel frantically slams his hands over Crow and Tom's mouths before
they can say anything....)
Joel: Let it pass, guys....Let it pass....
"WHOA i did it!" She yelled in excitation
Crow: Geez, there's enough Oscar-isms in this fanfic to fill a phone
book....
Tom: (Imitating Police Officer) That's one citation for that WAYU
WAYU crap. You can pay the fine and mail it to this address.
Joel: (Imitating Alicia Silverstone) It's way existential.
"Careful now" Oscar warned her, Shirley was TOO impressed by
herself,
Joel: Yeah and Oscar's the very definition of humility....
Tom: (imitating Shirley) Like, Wow!
and launched it to directly to someone who was passing by that
moment,
Crow: (imitating Shirley) Like, hey stranger! Look what I just
learn.....oops....
BLAM! the beam hitted that person, and it was Little Beeper
(YESSS!!)
Joel: Not the Beeper! Aww.....
Crow: Talk about a lucky shot....
Tom: Shirley blew up the Beeper? What if someone tries to page 'em?
"Oops, like sorry Beeper" Oscar laughed at that
Tom: Ha ha ha! Nothing like involuntary toonslaughter to give you a
chuckle....
Crow: I thought you needed a pure heart to be a Super Saiyen? How
did Oscar manage to become one?
Joel: Well, the Saiyen's *are* dying out....
and then, almost everyone (Including Fifi) was learning the
kame-hame-ha, so they could beat Perfecto prep. with no trouble at
all.
Tom: Oh, COME ON! This is getting just a little *too* stupid now....
Crow: Dragon Ball Z's going to need a PR campaign just to undo the
damage this Oscarfic is doing....
Joel: (imitating Elmer Fudd) So wong, shotgun....Hewwo Ki-Bwasts!
Crow: Something tells me Bugs will be hightailing it to Disney very
shortly....
Oscar left Shirley,
Tom: (as Shirley) Like, Thank God!
with the others as he went to get something to eat, but suddenly. Lola
appeared "Oscar..." Oscar heard her and turned around "Yes Lola?"
Lola smiled at Oscar and hugged him
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I'm not the world's most physical guy,
cuz when she squeesed me tight she nearly broke my spine....
Crow and Joel: (singing) Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola
"How do i say this..?"
Joel: Say it with feeling....
Crow: (imitating Lola) I hate you!
Joel: Nicely done.
Oscar blushed lightly and suggested "Just say it Lola"
Crow: (imitating Lola) I *REALLY* HATE YOU....
he smiled coyly and breathed calmly "I like you" Lola finally
managed to say, Oscar pouted as he knew he had to leave her soon
Joel: Why? He didn't seem all that concerned with getting back to
Artemis before....
Crow: He has to flee before Ted Turner sicks his lawyers on him....
"I'm begining to repent from coming here..."
Joel: Repent, sinners, and ye shall be saved!!
Tom: You've got a lot more than that to repent for, Oscar....
Crow: Great. More preaching. As if we didn't get enough of that
from Umino....
he thought worried for her and Fifi,
Joel: Wow! Check it out! Oscar finally spelled the word *thought*
correctly!
Tom: Oh whee. Oh joy. Oh happy happy day.
Crow: Throw him a bone, why don't ya?
Joel: Geez, sorry I mentioned it....
and said "I-I like you too coach but.."
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I'm not really into bestiality....Oh, wait,
yes I am.
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, look lady! I just wanted a quickie from
you, I don't have time for your emotional commitment crap!
Lola then let him go and asked "But what.." Oscar then thought
"Wait a minute..if i fake my own death then, i wouldn't end like an
asshole he he"
Tom: Hey, it worked for all those Marvel Comic Superheroes....
Crow: (imitating Gump) Asshole is as Asshole does....
Joel: You know, this is actually kind of cryptic considering Oscar's
now presumed dead and he's got a shrine dedicated to him....
Crow: Yeah, him and Kurt Cobain....
he shook his head and giggled "No nothing,"
Tom: Everyone ends with one of those, Oscar.
Time passed and at the end of the class day, everyone went out, and
Fifi followed Oscar.
Tom: Oh, don't spare us any of the details, Oscar...
Joel: Follow that bir....uh....skun....I mean....hermaphrodite!
But Oscar didn't had an excact place to go,
Crow: Go to hell! Go directly to hell! Do not pass go! Do not collect
$200!
Tom: Speaking of going....It's time, guys.
Joel: I can think of a few places for him to go....
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"Bring out the box!"
Crow did so and Joel reached inside to grab a bunch of fan
letters and began to read them out loud.
"As always, to protect the privacy of the people who wrote in,
we've left off the last name and e-mail address of the senders. Don't
worry, they're all genuine." Tom pointed out.
"Our first letter comes to us from Elliottx and he writes....
*I really like your MSTings and hope you continue to do them. I am a
huge fan of MST3k and think that you easily make the real writers
proud. Just wanted to thank you for the laughs.
Elliottx*
"You're welcome, Elliottx! It's out pleasure!" Tom replied
cheerfully.
"Our next letter come from Thomas, reguarding our X-mas
MSTing....
*This was really, really funny, all the way through. It really shows
how much better carefully planned MST's done over a long time are
than the quick C&C variety (though I've never been too much of a fan
of those in the first place.) I especially appreciated the "Be Like
Billy !" reference (I miss that show) and the "This is from Dr.
Thinker's Own Mind" continuing gag, which worked much better than
things of that type usually do. The Inspector Gadget section was
great, too.
This was an excellent MSTing of a really bad fanfic, and the host
segments weren't too long or too short. Good job.*
"Thanks, Thomas! That makes us feel all warm and toasty
inside." Crow replied.
"One thing we've tried to do is keep the length of our MSTings
reasonable. That's why this Oscarfic is divided into four parts and the
last few have been split into two parts. We appreciate any and all
suggestions from our readers on what format you like best." Joel added.
"Next, we have a letter from Blair and she writes...."
*Hi,
My name is blair and I just had to mail you about your MSTing. I
read a few and had to stop mid paragraph because I was laughing too
hard and couldn't breath. I felt a little dizzy too. It is extremely funny
when you you MST Oscar. Well I had to say it. Keep up the good work
Blair*
"I'm getting a little dizzy from all this praise. But I love it! I
LOVE IT!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Tom exclaimed as he laughed.
"Geez, get over yourself, Servo!" Crow muttered.
"Next up, we have a letter from Ryan and he writes...."
*wonderful! Up there with your best MSTies!! next, time, I just need to
remember not to try to drink anything while reading it.. ^_^ (boy, do
those computer lab monitors look at you funny when you spew coke all
over their computers.....^_^;;;)
keep up the good work!*
"Oh, who am I kidding?! I LOVE C&C TOO!!!" Crow
screamed as he and Tom danced cheek to cheek around the bridge.
Joel chuckled at them before pulling out the final letter."
"This letter...." Joel began. "....means a great deal to me and
it really made my day. It was sent to us after our last MSTing,
*Trapped*...."
*I think there is a pretty good reason why you've won so many awards
for MSTing fanfiction. As soon as I can think of it, I'll let you know. :P
Actually, it's blatantly obvious: Somehow you find the *worst* fanfics,
and then disembowel them with riffs that are actually humorous!
There's no way I could do something like this (the excellent riffs or
possess the intestinal fortitude to wade through so many bad fics
unaided). Take a bow.
Jamie*
Joel folded up the letter carefully and smiled. "Thank you for
the kind words. They really mean a lot to us. It really makes us feel
good that we can make people laugh and we hope we can continue to
do so for a very long time to come. But in all fairness, our riffs
wouldn't have been as funny without the C&C and assistance of people
such as Megane 6.7, Gary Kleppe, Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong and Robin
"Lunari" Seabaugh. These four people have all been very helpful and
supportive and they deserve to take a bow too. We couldn't have done
it without them...."
"Way to stay within the fourth wall, Joel!" Tom remarked
wryly.
"Hey, it's a fanfic and he's relaxed!" Crow added.
Joel sighed and was about to give a sarcastic reply when
alarms and sirens suddenly rang out.
"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT OSCARFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.
CONTINUED IN PART 4....
Three down. One more to go. Will the mysterious being stalking Oscar
be enough to stop him? Will Lola and Fifi be able to escape the clutches
of the egotistical Oscar? Only one way to find out. ;)