Fast, Cheap and Out of Control 2

 He looked at the camera and waited for his signal.
He hated that he had to actually work four hours
a day preparing for this show. It almost left him
no time for sex. Almost.
 He smiled at his assistant who was standing off
stage. She smiled right back at him. Twenty assistants
and he had sex with every single one of them. He was
glad that his wife had been so understanding to his
needs and allowed him to carry on with these affairs.
 Just as long as he taped the whole thing. When he
would give her the video she seemed to be extremely
happy. He sighed at the thought that his wife was
probably a pervert. Oh, well.
 He noticed his cue and did what he did best. Talk like
a pompous prick.
 "Hello, America. This Jim Johnson reporting live from
the studio in New York. Tonight, we have the shocking
story of two of the most natorious bandits who ever lived.
They have been hunted the world over by the C.I.A., the
F.B.I. and a bunch of other organizations with acronyms 
for names. They are Hiroshi and Daisuke and they are in
the U.S.
 We have here today psychologist Raymond D'th who has 
worked on the side of the prosecution in death penalty 
cases. Dr.D'th, what do you think of Hiroshi and Daisuke?"
  The old man who Jim was referring to was sitting across
from him and he began to talk,"I think that they are psycopathic
killers who should be put in the electric chair."
  Jim asked,"Why, Dr.D'th?"
  "At a robbery of a convenience store they stole a six-pack of
Pepsi instead of the twenty-four pack of Coca-Cola. That shows
that they are brutal murederers who will keep on killing. I believe
that they are just like Hitler, except that they are two people."
  Jim said,"Do you have any proof to back up your theories on
the two?"
  Dr.D'th chuckled and said,"Of course I do. I wouldn't just say
something like that if I didn't have any proof."
  Jim said,"So, what's your proof?"
  Dr.D'th said,"My degree in psychology."
  Jim smiled and said,"That's good enough for me. After these
comercials we're going to look at the lives of Hiroshi and Daisuke.
What wen wrong? Now, these messages."
  A little man came up to Jim and tapped him on the shoulder.
 Jim looked at him and said,"Yes?"
 The man handed him a letter and ran away from Jim as fast as possible.
Jim looked at the letter and almost had a heart attack. It was a supoena
to appear in court. His wife wanted a divorce. Jim thought,'Maybe she
wasn't a pervert after all.'

Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.