Subject: [FFML] "Adfic 6.7"
From: fcasper
Date: 5/21/1998, 4:31 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Ah hell, I might as well get in on this before Tybalt bans this thread.
Here's a couple of commercials.  C&C is welcome.  ;)


"ADFIC 6.7"	

>From the Desk of Megane 6.7

This is a series of parodies.  Any random mention of certain anime
characters, celebrities, commercials, products, etc. are the property of
their respected creators/distributors/etc. 
	
	

	It is a beautiful sunny day.  

	A baby is sitting in a mechanical plastic rocking chair.

	There is a window in front of him.

	There is a window on his right side.   

	The chair swings back and forth.  

	Back and forth.  

	Back and forth.

	When the chair swings back, the baby can see what is outside the side
window.	

	When the chair swings forward, the baby can see what is outside the
front window.	

	Back and Forth.

	Back and Forth.
	
	But something is amiss.  

	Every time the chair swings forward, the baby giggles....

	Every time the chair swings back, the baby cries....

	Back and forth.

	Back and forth.

	Crying.  Giggling.  Crying.  Giggling

	Finally, the camera lets us see what is outside the side 	window....

	The McDonalds logo.

	Then we see what is outside the front window....

	Genma-Panda and Drew Carrey

	Drew: Cute little guy, isn't he?

	Genma-Panda nods.

	Drew: Want to get some lunch?

	Genma-Panda murmurs his approval and follows Drew towards a A&W
restaurant in the distance. 

	The A&W Tuba Solo plays. 

	V.O.: "See the Panda...."	

	
* 	*	*


	A balding short old man sits behind a desk.

	"Hey there all you pretty ladies!  Happosai's the name and panty
washing is my game!  Are you tired of having your fresh panties, bras,
garters, etc, stolen by fiendishly clever panty thieves?"  

	"Well, worry no more!  As founder and CEO of *Happy's Personal Perfect
Panty Pampering*, no longer will you have to hang your panties in the
sun to dry!  Just bring 'em over to me and I'll personally see that
they're treated with the best of care.  I wash.  I iron.  I use a
delightful fabric softener!  And only one *week* later, you'll have them
back, good as new and April fresh!"  

	"How much would *YOU* pay for a specially service like this?  5000
yen?  10000 yen?  Well, at *Happy's Personal Perfect Panty Pampering*,
we charge you....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!  That's right.  We're talking
*FREE* personal panty pampering here folks!  I consider it both an honor
*AND* a privilege to personally pamper your perfect precious panties and
underthings for less than a penny."         

	"And if you act now, you'll also receive *ABSOLUTELY FREE*, my personal
guide to panty wearing!  Inside, you'll learn my expert tips and
recommendations on which type of panties, bras, etc suits your figure
best!  And once you've made your selection, you simply send me a letter,
detailing your choice of panties and your measurements....so I know
which size of panties to get for you....and I'll personally deliver an
autographed pair of panties to your front door and slip them onto your
lovely body!"  

	"THAT'S RIGHT!  I *will* slip them onto your body, with *these* two
hands!  Just to show you how important, you, the customer is to us.  How
many panties can a pervert like me perfectly pamper?  Bring them here
and find out!"  

V.O.: Open 7 days a week from 8 to 3.  Not open during Furinkan High
School hours, Only *beautiful* women's underwear please.  No checks or
C.O.D's.  Void where prohibited.    


*	*	*

	
	Cut to an enormous room that seems to stretch on forever.  In that
room, billions of little black pigs with yellow bandannas around their
necks, are typing furiously.	

	V.O.: An infinite number of P-Chan's on an infinite number of
typewriters will eventually define all that is Canada....

	P-Chan #1506:

	Cut to Animeigo Headquarters.  There is a board meeting going on and
the suits are listening to another guy deliver a sales pitch.

	"Now, as for a voice for Lum....I see her as more the glamour girl
type....Something like Zsa Zsa Gabour.  And Ataru....I've found this
guys that almost sounds like that funny geek from the Simpsons....you
know, the one with the red hair and he sounds like he's always out of
breath?  Not Milhouse, the guy who usually ends up as a fast food
trainee?  Yeah, *HIM*."

	The guy clasped his hands together and rubbed them eagerly.  "So,
gentlemen....What do you think of the new *Dubbed* Urusei Yatsura
project?"

	The other suits looked at each other....

	Cut to outside the building.  Suddenly a body sails out of the window,
the flying sound Lum makes is heard as he plummets to the ground.  It is
the guy.

	Cut back to the P-Chans typing.

	V.O.:  I AM....CANADIAN.	   


*	*	*	

	
	"Have you been involved in an accident?  

	"Would you like to be?"

	Dr. Tofu walked over to his examination beds, smiling at the camera.  

	"Well, here at my clinic, I specialize in creating accidents so that
*YOU* can be entitled to a huge cash settlement.  Want to dislocate your
arm or leg in ten different places and blame it on your workplace? 
Visit my clinic and I can do it for you, quickly and efficiently!"

	"Then once they settle with you, I'll fix your arm, good as new! I only
ask for a humble 30% of your settlement money.  It's a small price to
pay and a little pain to bear to screw the legal system over in your
favor.  So stop waiting and start hurting!  The lawyers will do the
rest!"    
	  
	Dr. Tofu bows to the camera.

	V.O.:  Dr. Tofu's Clinic -- Ask about our neck brace special!  	


Okay, that's enough of that nonsense.  What�d think, sirs?  ;P