Hey, all.  This is Freemage, and I'm trying desperately to cope with 
ways to deal with my current writer's block.  I've decided to do this in 
the classic fanfic author method:  Steal someone else's idea, and put an 
original spin on it!  Specifically, I'm going to take a cue from Elsa 
Bibbat's recent (and excellent) treatise on writing styles.

   However, since my own knowledge of that subject places me firmly in
 the "student" category, I've decided to go with something I do
 know--grammar.  Okay, now that fully two-thirds of those of you who
 opened this have clicked the "Delete" option, I'll direct my comments
 to the rest of you.

   I have been providing direct C&C to a number of talented authors
 lately, and I've been noticing particular errors coming up again and
 again.  The idea here is to try to provide beginner writers with a
 simple guide to some of the more common pitfalls in the areas of
 grammar/punctuation/spelling.

   Today's lesson is:  The Quote

   People say things.  They say them to one another, they say them to
 themselves, they say them to an uncaring universe, and they even say
 them to hatracks (if, that is, they have forgotten their glasses
 again).

   When an author's character says something, the author puts quote
 marks (" ") around it.  But that's just the beginning.  Usually, the
 author needs to make it clear who's speaking, how they are speaking,
 or to whom they are speaking, and this is usually where the trouble
 arises.

   The basic quote is a simple affair:

       "You are an idiot."

   Of course, many readers will find a quote like this confusing, as
 it leaves out a lot of those pesky details.  Let's add some extra
 info, shall we?

       "Ranma, you are an idiot."

   Okay, now we know who is being spoken to.  Notice that the name of
 the intended target has been isolated by a comma.  This is mandatory
 ninety percent of the time, and highly recommended the other ten
 percent.  This is doubly true if the name comes in the middle of the
 sentence:

       "You, Ranma, are an idiot." (Can't you just feel the contempt?)

   It's also true if you swap in a descriptive phrase for the person's
 name:

       "You, freeloader, are an idiot."

   Now, the problem is that there are far too many people who would
 say this line, so many, in fact, that Nabiki could charge for the
 privilege and retire, so we need to whittle down the possibilities.

       Akane said, "You are an idiot, Ranma."

   Alright, we all know this line.  Note that the first word of the
 quote has been capitalized.

   But, you know, there are lot's of times when you want to stress the
 words, instead of the speaker, by putting the quote first:

       "Ranma, you are an idiot," Akane said.

   Aha!  When the attribution (ie, "Akane said") is moved after the
 quote, you change the period to a comma.  However, this is only true
 of statements, not exclamations or questions:

       "Ranma, you are an idiot!" Akane said.
       "Ranma, are you an idiot?" Akane said.

   Hmmm... Something seems wrong about those.  I wonder what it could
 be?  Oh, of course!  The damn "said"s.  Given the change in
 inflection that the exclamation point and question mark imply, it
 seems odd that our heroine would simply "say" those sentences.  Let's
 give it just a little bit of alteration:

       "Ranma, you are an idiot!" Akane exclaimed.
       "Ranma, are you an idiot?" Akane asked.

   Ahhh... Much better.  Of course, this is the point where a lot of
 beginning writers get overexcited and make their first real error. 
 In short order, none of their characters are simply "saying"
 anything.  Every last quote is shouted, whispered, screamed,
 bellowed, coughed, grunted, inquired or wheezed.  This is overkill. 
 "Said" is fine for the vast majority of declarative sentences.  It
 makes those times a special term is used that much more striking and
 effective.

   Furthermore, there are just some things you can't do to a quote, no
 matter how hard you try.  In order to have it appear in quotes, the
 speaker has to make noise.  Therefore, no activity which is silent
 can be used to convey a quote:

     WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG

        "Ranma, you are an idiot," Akane grimmaced.
        "Ranma, you are an idiot," Akane smiled.

   Get the picture?  If it doesn't make noise, you can't do a quote
 with it.

   Sometimes, a character has a quoteable dialogue that exists only in
 his, her, or its head.  This is called thinking.  The inclusion of
 thought-quotes is a good way of letting the reader know what's on a
 character's mind without a lot of narrative intrusion.

   Now, strictly as a stylistic point, it helps the reader if a
 thought-quote is marked with some other type of symbol than the
 standard quotation marks.  I've seen all of these with a fair amount
 of regularity:  *X*, [X], <X>, 'X', {X}, where X is whatever the
 character is actually thinking.  No matter which of these symbols you
 use, the same punctuation rules apply:

      {Ranma, you're an idiot,} Akane thought.
   
   It may also be to the writer's advantage to use other alternate
 symbols for foriegn languages and written text (particularly Panda
 signs).

   Sometimes you need to put the attribution in the middle of the
 quote.  This is most likely during long quotes, or if you want to
 give the impression of slow, deliberate speech:

      "You, Ranma," Akane hissed, "are an idiot."

   If the attribution falls between two complete sentences in the
 quote, then you may place a period after the attribution, but in
 many cases, a comma will still suffice:

      "You're an idiot," Akane said.  "Why don't you just die?!"
      "You're an idiot," Akane said, "Why don't you just die?!"

   If the speaker is in the middle of a long speech, and it needs to
 be broken up into paragraphs, then only the final paragraph needs a
 close-quote mark:

      "You're an idiot, Ranma," Akane said, warming up to her
    subject.  "You are a complete jerk.  You lead on every woman
    you meet, and just let Shampoo glomp you whenever you two
    bump into each other.  You insult my cooking and you're
    always picking on poor P-Chan, and starting fights with
    Ryouga.
      "I think I hate you."

   Now, a lot of the time, people don't get to finish what they
 started saying, because someone else cuts them off, or their voice
 chokes off with emotion, or they get shot, or something gets stuck in
 their mouth (particularly common in Lemons).  There are a couple of
 devices you can use for this.
   The double hyphen is a great way to imply an abrupt cut-off:

      "Ranma, you are an--" Akane started to shout, before he
    crammed a lemon wedge in her mouth.
  
   Note that you don't really need a comma, or any other punctuation,
 before the attribution.
   In cases where the speaker's voice just trails off, however, there
 is a better option--The ellipses:

       "Ranma, you are an idiot...," Akane whispered as she
     watched him leave. 

    When using an ellipses, you still have to put some kind of 
punctuation after it, as if it were a normal sentence.  If the 
attribution precedes the quote, then it can even end with a period:

       Looking tenderly at his sleeping face, Akane whispered,
     "Ranma, you are an idiot...."

  Alright, that's all I can think of for now.  Please write me and let
 me know if there is any interest in this sort of thing on an
 off-and-on again basis.

   One final note:  I said at the beginning that I found these errors
 a lot, and I meant it.  Therefore, if you're somebody I regularly
 provide C&C to, please, do not assume I was only talking about you!

--Freemage, who's still all worked up over Ucchan's funeral....

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