[Spamfic] [XOVER] "The Plays the Thing"
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: play_thing.txt,v 1.8 1998/04/08 14:07:33 hcobb Exp $
These characters and situations are the creation of their various authors.
No infringement of their copyrights is intended.
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Damn Ton-chan anyway.
Doesn't he know how important this drama competition is to me?
But no, he had baseball practice. Always baseball practice. For
somebody who was always practicing, one would think he'd finally get
good at it.
In desperation, I had asked Ataru to come along. That would have been
fun. We could have gotten pictures taken. Both Ton-chan and my dearest
brother would have been sent copies. It would even have been worth
kissing the idiot, just to see the looks on their faces.
But Lum had found out about it and now I sit here all alone, while a
bunch of amateurs mutilate my favorite play. Life is so dull and
unfair. I take a tissue from the box offered by one of my kuroko and
dab at my eyes.
At least it will be over soon, this is the last group of losers in the
competition.
They really don't seem to any grasp of the lines at all. How I want to
jump up there and take over, but even idiots deserve the chance to stage
their own productions.
It does seem to have some interesting twists with two Juliets and
several Romeos and a subplot about inheriting a Dojo.
Now at the end, this Romeo is unable to awaken his Juliet with a kiss.
That is exactly like my life. Deadly dull with no prince capable of
sparking any life into it. Finally, the "corpse" takes matters into her
own hands and pulls him down to her.
Yes, that is exactly what I should do. I applaud heartily this
reinterpretation of the classic. The winning team is no surprise.
I gesture for my kuroko to attend, "Find out all about that Romeo. The
last one."
Later at the club, I hold court. The membership is very select. I've
invited the two persons in all the world that are closest to being
friends. Each of the girls is from a wealthy family, but nowhere near the
Mendo fortune.
In the sauna, I break the news of my new pursuit.
"Ranma?" Daitokuji asks. "Ranma Saotome?"
"Yes, do you know him Biko?" I ask.
"Yes, but do you know that he turns into a girl?"
Kuno stiffens. "Ranma is my darling!" She confronts Daitokuji. "I will
not abide this slander of him!" She turns to me. "And Rokyo, if you do
not give this up this instant then we are no longer friends."
"Why don't we ask Ranma how he feels about you, Kodachi?"
"You know that he is simply staying with that awful Tendo girl to humor
his father!" Kuno turns her back on Daitokuji and storms away.
"What is this about turning into a girl?" I ask Daitokuji.
"I'll show you." She replies and goes back to soaking.
At lunch, Daitokuji pulls out a pocket computer. "This is your Ranma?"
"Yes." I look at the image. Ranma is running along a fence, looking down
to give the V sign to the camera. His smile brings a flutter to my heart.
"And then so is this." Daitokuji hits a key and shows the image of a
red-haired girl in the same outfit, but drenched.
"Yes, I saw this girl at the drama competition. She was one of the
Juliets. He really transforms?"
"Yes, everytime he gets wet. Scared off yet?"
"No, this is intriguing. He transforms back when dry?"
"No, warm water changes him back. He's a wash and were girl."
"How do you know so much about him Biko? Are you after him too?"
"Not at the moment, there's too much competition around him now. I
learned that lesson with Tenchi. Besides, I have other problems."
"You do seem to have a weakness for red-haired girls."
"That isn't funny."
"Why are you being so helpful with this matter Biko?"
"Ryoko, you may be just the person to shake him free from his current
connections, but you could never hold him. Then, when he's all broken
hearted, I'll be there."
"Oh, so a contest! And the terms?"
"Non-interference from the loser."
"Agreed. Anything else you'd care to tell me?"
"Yes, your greatest challenge will be this girl." Daitokuji types on her
computer and the image of a girl with large eyes and short bluish black
hair, holding a piglet appears. "Akane Tendo. This is the fiancee with
the surest claim on Ranma."
"He has more than one fiancee?"
"Two to four, depending on how you count them. His girl side has some
admirers, but no firm commitments."
"I see how that might be a problem. This girl, she was the final Juliet.
Are they really in love?"
"They claim to hate each other. He calls her a tomboy."
"Would it be right to intrude like this?"
"Why not put it to the test? If their love is true it will survive."
Daitokuji laughs. At times like this she is almost frightful.
Henry J. Cobb hcobb@slip.net http://www.io.com/~hcobb