Bah! Enough with the Ranma infomercials! Now the moonies get their shot!
-----

* The screen fades up from black; a 20-something and slightly overweight
Tsukino Usagi is standing before a whiteboard, dressed in a reasonably
tasteful business suit. Signs of dai bow & nikumen are just visible in
the right edge of the shot*


                      Tsukino:
"Hi! I'm Tsukino Usagi! Do you want to make more money? Of COURSE you
do! This is Japan, everything costs a fortune here! But have you run
into the dead end of failing entrance exams to Japan's costly and
competitive school system so you can't get a decent job? Now, Anime
Career Services will help you train for the job of your dreams right at
home!"

*Shot pans left, course offerings begin to scroll up, superimposed on
the whiteboard. Tsukino reads them from the teleprompter*

                      Tsukino:
"You can train for an exciting career in any one of these fields! 

Manga artist! 
Voice actor/actress!
Idol Singer!
Martial artist!
Racecar driver!
Mecha pilot!
Hentai Buddhist priest!
Shinto Shrine maiden!
Geisha!
Hotel and restaurant management!
Veterinarian's assistant!
Karaoke Performer!
World-class Esper!
Magical girl!
Floral arrangements!

OR, Get your own specialized degree in
Constitutional Monarchy
or 
Accounting!"

*subtitles: 'Associates degree sponsored through University of Crystal
Tokyo; accredation effective 2998AD'*

*screen fades to show generic course pack information including a ton of
notebooks, some cds and cassettes.* 
*flash number & email address*

Voice-over:
                      Tsukino:
"Just call the number on your screen now and tell us which course you're
most interested in, or email us!"

*fade back to Tsukino. She has half a sweet roll stuffed in her mouth*

                      Tsukino:
                  (muffled by food) 
"With ACS you can be anything you want to be with NO ENTRANCE EXAMS!
Call now!"

*fade to black*

Nightman
*Up Waaaay too late*