*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO)
EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 4
(A Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball Z/Warner Brothers Oscarfic MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....
"Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the
distributors of her work.
"Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property of
Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their work.
"Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the
distributors of his work
"Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not
intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this but
I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think
of this as another form of C&C. ;)
Warning: This fic contains mature content and a pinch of lemon. If
you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If
not, enjoy!
(Door 6: It slides open on both sides..)
(Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you
move on..)
(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)
(Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..)
(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)
(Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.)
(Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.)
Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.
Joel: Should we even bother trying to recap?
Tom: Nah....
Crow: Oscar's courting Fifi. Nuff said.
"Er, Oscar?" Fifi asked him with a lil voice tone,
Joel: Voice tone? Is that like a Boss Tone?
Crow: Mighty sure.
Tom: At the sound of the voice tone the time will be 1:22 pm...
All: *BOOMSHACALAKA!!!*
Tom: Thank you.
Oscar turned around and replied "Yes Feef?"
Joel: HALT! FEEF!
Tom: (singing) She's a feef of hearts....Someone please arrest her....
Crow: (imitating Fifi) Where's ze Feef?
Tom: Don't ask....
"Where do you live?", Oscar then sighed "Well i don't have an excact
place to spend my days...",
Joel: Oscar the hermaphroditic skunk toiled away his years in a former
cactus.
Fifi then thought "YES!", and said "You can stay at my place while
you find somewhere to stay.."
All: (groans)
Crow: This must be where Megane 6.7 meant *a pinch of lemon*....
Joel: Oh, well I'm sure Oscar wouldn't want to impose upon Fifi....
Oscar smiled and agreed with her, they walked to her house
Joel: .....uh, never mind.
(Dumped remodeled car actually),
Tom: Oscar moved in with Riff Raff, Hector, Wordsworth and Mungo?
Crow: Hey, don't forget that oh-so-fine, curvy feline, Cleo! Rrrrrrrrowl.....
Tom: Hey, I wouldn't blame Oscar if he went after her. She was drawn
so well and those leg warmers....Mmmmmm....
Joel: You know, you guys are starting to sound dangerously like Oscar....
(Crow and Tom bigsweats)
Fifi sat in the couch with Oscar,
All: TOGGG!!!
they chatted of normal topics. "Oscar...why did you kissed me?"
Tom: That's a normal topic?
Joel: In a self-insert, yeah.
Crow: (Imitating Oscar) Duh, I kiss animated females all the time,
Skunklady.
Oscar cleared his throat "Believe it or not,
Joel: ....Ripley.
i've known you for 3 years now, but i never had a chance to tell you
what i felt like"
Tom: (imitating Terry Jones) Like I'd rather....just....sing....
Crow: (imitating Michael Palin) Stop that! Stop that! You're not
gonna do a song while I'm here!
Tom: So Oscar fell for an cartoon animal at the age of 10?!?
Crow: He's not about to break the habit.
Joel: Ugh.
Fifi looked puzzled "Huh? How can you know me if we just met
today?" Oscar grinned
Tom: Get a clue, Fifi! He's been stalking you!
Joel: (imitating Oscar) i liked you since the moment i saw you. No one
deserves you but me. He he he....
Crow: (shudders) Don't do that, Joel.....
"Let's just say i've seen you chase Furrball, Calamity Coyote and i
have witnessed when you got caught by Elmyra...that sucked"
Crow: Fortunately, Mr. Skullhead acted as a character witness and
Elmyra was incarcerated.
Tom: It seemed like a *GOOD IDEA* but when he realized he was
still attached to her hair and was imprisoned with her, it turned out to
be a *BAD IDEA.*
Joel: The End.
Fifi raised her eyebrows and tought "Whoa...he knows a lot about
me..."
Crow: (imitating Fifi) Time to change ze locks again, no?
Oscar kept talking
All: SSSSSSSSHUT UP!!! (quiet voice) Thank you.
"The only bad thing is..i won't be here for long.." Fifi then blinked,
Crow: (imitating Fifi) Ouch! Ze false eyelashes hurt....
Tom: Bluh-link!
as Oscar continued "I know...this has been the first time you've
kissed someone..and i'd love to stay...but"
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, wherever there are innocent furry animals
to be brainwashed into sex, you'll find me! Wherever there are
fanfiction universes to screw with, I'll be there!
Crow: Not since Judge Doom have the toons faced such a grave
threat....
Fifi putted her hands on his shoulders
Crow: Yeesh, that's got to hurt.
Joel: Fore!
"But what?!" Oscar closed his eyes "I'm not from this world...
Crow: Now *there's* an understatement...
i'm really a "Human".."
Tom: And lord knows, he's certainly erred enough....
Crow: Human? Good! Sacrifice him to your gods!
Tom: To be like the hu-man!
Joel: (shaking his head back and forth) H....U....M....A....N....a
human....human....human....
Fifi shook him a lil "I don't care!" Oscar then said "I'm a Herm.." Fifi
blinked,
Joel: (imitating Fifi) Mon dou! Ze stupid eyelashes are ze bane of my
beauty!
Tom: Like parenthesis, with hair.
but finally said "Even if you are a Herm, or a human"
Crow: How about a Herman?
Oscar then parted her
Tom: Oscar: Hermaphrodite Hairstylist.
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, say miss, after I perm your hair, would
you like me to groom your cat? No really, it's no trouble at all....
"Fifi, understand this, i don't want to make a relation with you, and
then leave just like that"
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I want to make hot skunky love with you
and *THEN* leave just like that!"
Tom: First things first....
Joel: Oscar B. Wilde, Fifi La Fume. No relation.
Fifi got closer to him and layed her head on his legs
Crow: (imitating Fifi) Hey! What's this strange thing between
your....OH MY GOD!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Joel: That's *one* way to find out his secret....
"Why do you have to leave...?" Oscar sighed sadly "I have to, my
friends are waiting for me,
Crow: Ernie, Bert, Elmo, Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Snuffaluffagus....
Joel: Don't forget Slimy and Grongetta!
Artemis is waiting for me...
Tom: Oh, *NOW* he thinks about Artemis....
i can't leave them" Fifi finally let out a tear,
Tom: (raspberry sounds)
Crow: (imitating Fifi) Excuse moi, I had ze beans last night, no?
Joel: (sighing) You guys....
and started crying softly.
Crow: Does one tear count as crying?
Joel: Maybe she's doing an impression of Johnny Depp?
Tom: Crybaby....
Oscar felt bad for her, "But even if i have to leave, i'll at least make
you happy..." Fifi, still crying, said "What?"
All: HE SAID BUT EVEN IF I HAVE TO LEAVE, I'LL AT LEAST
MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!
Crow: (imitating Fifi) You mean you'll leave right now and never
return?
Oscar lifted her face up
Joel: Hey, there's room for only one *doctor* of bad fanfiction and
that's Dr. Thinker!
Crow: Dr. T could kick Oscar's ass anyday!
Tom: (imitating P.A.) Calling Dr. Howard....Dr. Oscar....Dr. Howard....
"But only if it's ok with you..", Fifi suddenly realized what he was
trying to say,
Joel: That makes one of us....
Tom: Care to fill us in?
Crow: (Imitating Fifi) Vu' are sicko!
"Please do...", Oscar closed his eyes "Ok then.." and he got closer to
her, finally embracing her in a passionate kiss, Fifi then turned the
lights off....
Tom: Oh, thank you Fifi! You have no idea how much the readers
appreciate it....
Crow: Yeah, but what if we can still hear it?
Tom: ARGHHHH!!! (starts to vibrate)
Joel: Crow....
The next day,Oscar and Fifi went to school, Oscar had to avoid
security again (He he ain't i a stinga?),
Joel: A what?!? Could we get someone to translate this into English,
please?
Crow: I think he means a stinger....
Tom: Hey, that's out trademark! Get your own!
Fifi got to the classroom, but Oscar waited her outside.
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, May I take your order, Miss?
Suddenly, someone yelled "Yo Oscie! think fast!"
Crow: He can't! He's not on his feet!
Tom: Zing!
a B.ball went directly to his face BBAAAAAM!!! Oscar got hit by it
and smashed into the ground
Tom: (imitating Bugs) Eh, how'd ya like that, doc?
"DO'H!",
Crow: ....nuts!
"He he sorry Oscie, you ok?" the person said going to his side, Oscar
stood up with his face all reddened,
Joel: (imitating Elmo) Boy, is my face red....
he looked and the person was Lola in her Levis-and "Looniversity"
shirt, spinning the B.ball on her finger,
Crow: Oscar-ism #14: B.ball....
Tom: Levis must be *really* desperate to put a product placement in
an Oscarfic....
Joel: Order a Looniversity T-shirt and Levis today and receive a free
tennis, personally autographed by Oscar himself!
Crow: Visit www.warner.toons/hermaphrodite/oscar.com for more
information regarding these fine products!
Tom: Like the Tickle-Me-Oscar Doll?
Joel: Ugh....don't remind me....
"Oh hi Lola...ough"
Tom: Oscar spontaneously horked up a hairball.
Crow: How did he get hair down his throat?
Tom: ARGHHHH!!! (Shakes harder)
Joel: Crow, stop it.
Crow: Bite me.
Lola giggled and helped him stand up, "So wanna play another 1 on 1?"
she asked with a smile,
Tom: Incoming Lemon scene, gentlemen, THIS IS *NOT* A DRILL!
REPEAT! THIS IS *NOT* A DRILL....
"Ok, but be careful he he" Oscar grinned.
Crow: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new champion!
Joel: What do you mean?
Crow: I just realized this fanfic broke the all time record for smiling!
So far, this fanfic has 28 smiles and 12 grins making for a grand total
of 40! This beats the previous record holder, *Transitions*, which had
29 smiles and 3 grins for a total of 32, not counting our smiling jokes
of course....
Tom: Is there an all-time record for most vomiting from a fanfic? If
so, I nominate *Artemis's Lover*....
They walked to the school gym, where Lola took off her jeans leaving
only her shorts, Oscar glazed to her well formed legs,
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, you don't mind me spreading honey
glaze all over your legs and licking it off, do ya?
Tom: (imitating Lola) Not at all Oscie! Usually I'd cripple anyone
that would even suggest such a perverted thing to me....but for some
reason, I'm not bothered by it at all now! In fact, the thought even
excites me! It's like I'm a completely different person!
Joel: See Oscar. See Oscar write a self-insertion fanfic. Don't be an
Oscar.
his eyes lighting up,
Joel: He's got Betty Davis eyes....
Crow: Maybe Oscar's a distant cousin of Trumpy....
when Lola said "Yo Oscie, c'mon" Oscar shook his head and tought
"No that could never happen..." and went to the court with her,
Tom: Today, on a very special episode of Judge Judy....
"Ready?" Lola said with a grin, they began playing, the gym was
locked up, so no one could enter, and they could have a private
game/talk, without prying ears, or hidden eyes,
Crow: What about probing tongues?
Joel: Crow....if you don't cut it out....
Tom: (head smoking) DANGER! DANGER! JOEL ROBINSON! MY
HEAD IS APPROACHING CRITICAL MASS....
Joel: Stay frosty, Tommy-boy!
in one particular move, Lola jumped high above, as Oscar tripped and
fell below the hoop, he was flat on his back, Lola dunked the B.ball,
and it fell down, almost hitting Oscar in his crotch, but he didn't
noticed it,
Tom: Yes, it's the latest in bad fanfiction, redundant commas!
Joel: (Imitating Lola) Damn, missed.
Lola fell and landed over Oscar, her legs spread apart as she sat right
in Oscar's crotch, of course, Oscar blushed immediately, as Lola was
on top of him, she smiled and said "I kinda like this position...don't
you?"
Tom: I liked it a lot better when Lauren Holly and Jason Scott Lee did
it in *Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story*....
Crow: Oscar's ripped off everyone else, why stop now?
Tom: Yeah, he could be an X-Files writer!
Joel: Spam it, Tom....
(OW mAN! she's hot!),
Crow: Good. Maybe she'll burst into flames....
Joel: Ouch....
Oscar had a funny little smile on his face and his clit let out a tiny
part of his juice,
All: @_@
Tom: Critical Mass, CriTiCaL mAsS, CRIT--- (His head explodes in a
flash of pyrotechnics)
Crow: Bloobity, bloobity, bloobity! I LiKe sOCks, STeVe--- (His head
explodes in a flash of pyrotechnics)
Joel: MUST....retain....sanity! ARRRRRGH!!!! (His head throbs
slightly but doesn't explode.) Gotta....put the bots....back together....
(Joel quickly pulls out a roll of duct tape and gets to work fixing Tom
and Crow. When he is finished, he activates them.)
Joel: Get together, guys! We *CAN* do this!
Tom: (coughing) Br-bring it on, Oscar!
Crow: I....am....READY TO RUUUMMMBBBBLE!
Joel: Right! We're on the home stretch! Hang in there!
as Lola (Still in that position) got closer to his face, and whispered to
his ear "Are you up to it?..." Oscar gasped at this, and weakly said
"Ye-Yes....", Lola smiled seductively, as she took off her shirt..
Tom: Sproing!
Crow: (as Oscar) Duh, Whoa! *Those* are real! And they're
spectacular! He, he, he...
Joel: (imitating Kurt from Dear John) But in the heat of battle....
Oscar's solider failed to salute....
The B.Ball Youma was at the outstreaks of Acme city,
Tom: I don't even want to know what *outstreaks* means....
Joel: A little glass cleaner'll take those right off.
"Oscar! i know you're close!" the Youma kept advancing
Crow: He clawed his way to the top, trampling those foolish enough
to get in his way....
Tom: (imitating Youma) The plot is on the way! Really!
A while later, Oscar and Lola were gasping for air,
Crow: (imitating Lloyd Bridges) By this time, my lungs were aching
for asbestos....
Joel: Cute, Crow....
"I didn't knew you were a Herm...." Lola said a little exhausted, "I
didn't know you were a Virgin"
Joel: I didn't know that was a lemon....
Tom: Yeah, I can't believe Oscar skipped the lemon scenes. Not that
I'm complaining, mind you....
Crow: It still put a lot of unpleasant images in my mind. Besides,
how could Lola not know Oscar was a herm?
Tom: Maybe Oscar wore pants as a skunk....
Oscar said smiling and still gasping,
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, I need my inhaler!
Lola giggled lightly for that.
Tom: The poor girl's gone loony....and I don't mean toons!
Crow: (imitating Lola) Revenge is a dish best served cold, Oscie
deary. For Felica was in fact....my half sister. And as the poison
slowly spreads through your system, Artemis will be all mine and
you will die as you have lived....as a skunk. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Joel: You watch too many soap operas, Crow....
*LATER*
Tom: ....alligator.
Oscar took a mop, and cleaned the "Little mess" they did,
Crow: Oscar learned too late that Lola wasn't housebroken....
Joel: Ick! Crow....
Lola felt a lil weird as she had lost her "V".
Tom: Well, at least she minded her P's and Q's....
Then suddenly, the earth started shaking,
Joel: I thought the lemon scene was already over?
Crow: Uh oh! Looks like the rest of the tectonic plates from *Trapped*
decided to bang together....
Tom: (imitating Bill Cosby) It's Fat Albert coming for ya! HEY! HEY!
HEY!
"What's that?" Lola said a lil worried, and the ground kept shaking,
each time a STOMP sound was heard, they went out of the gym, and
saw that something was breaking havoc in the city
Crow: Could it be....?
Tom: Do you think....?
Joel: Who else....?
All: GODZILLA HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!! YES!!!!
"Aw damn!"
Tom: There goes the Acme city dam....
Crow: YEAH!!! GIVE EM HELL, GODZILLA!!!
Oscar thought "It better not be what i think it is",
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Duh, Sailor Jupiter warned me this might
happen someday....
Crow: (imitating Solider 1) Oh my god....He found me....I don't know
how but he found me....
Lola then followed Oscar, as he ran down to the havoc site.
Tom: I would think Godzilla was causing enough havoc as it is....
Oscar pouted as he saw what he feared it'd be
Joel: (ominously) Behold the pale mutated lizard....the man that rode
on him was death....and hell followed with him....
Tom: (imitating Val Kilmer) It's not revenge he's after....it's the
reckoning.
Crow: All right! Now, this is getting good....
"Aw damn, a fucking Youma, my powers are way down...but i think
i can handle it", Lola grew concerned "Umm Oscar...
Crow: (imitating Lola) Does the name *Custer* mean anything to
you?
what is this?" she said as she saw the B.ball creep youma,
All: Dang....
Tom: Wait, don't lose hope yet! Maybe it's Eva-11's Android come to
finish Oscar at last!
Crow: We can only hope....
Oscar replied,"A youma sweetie.."
Joel: (imitating Lola) Don't call me sweetie!
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Can I call you Sugar Plum?
Joel: (imitating Lola) No!
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Pussycat?
Joel: (imitating Lola) No!
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Angel drawers?
Joel: (imitating Lola) No, you may not! Get on with it!
the youma then turned around and saw Oscar, "OSCAR! your time
has come!"
Crow: Let's win this one for the Beeper!
Oscar frowned and got in his fighting stance "C'mon!" he yelled,
"Lola stand back", Lola stept back from the fighting place, the other
toons didn't waited too long to appear on the scene,
Tom: (imitating Bugs) There he is! That's the maroon that stole my
honey bunny!
Crow: It's time for the WB toons to settle their differences, unite under
Elmer Fudd, and kick some ass!
Joel: (imitating Fudd singing Wagner) Kill the Hewmaphwodite....Kill
the Hewmaphwodite....Kill the Hewmaphwodite....
Fifi was with them, and saw Oscar preparing to fight the Youma.
Joel: Let's see...I believe Cammy's theme from Street Fighter Alpha 2
Gold will do nicely here....
Crow: (imitating Shang Tsung) ROUND 1....FIGHT!
Tom: (imitating Michael Buffer) FROM THE THOUSANDS OF
TOONS IN ATTENDANCE....AND THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE
READING AROUND THE WORLD....LLLLLLLET'S GET READY
TO KICK OSCAR'S ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....
"OSCAR!" Fifi yelled at him, this distracted Oscar and the Youma
attacked him with a red beam, Oscar got hit by the beam and
smashed into a nearby wall,
Crow: (imitating Youma) You think that was bad? Wait until you see
my PURPLE beam!!!
Tom: (imitating Youma) Lola! Thanks for the assist!
Joel: (imitating Lola) No problem! Anytime!
"Ough nice move but!" he then dashed forward and attacked the
youma with a mega triple kick, which connected easily,
Tom: Uh oh! That's even more powerful than a mega *double* kick!
Crow: Let's hope the Youma knows the secret, double dog, quadruple
twisting, triple pounding, peace loving pacifist, GROIN PULL!!!
Joel: Don't you need a Game Genie for that?
but the youma countered with a nega fist that Oscar barely managed
to evade,
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Duh, oh yeah! Take this! HURRICANE
SMASH!!!
Crow: (imitating Youma) Ha! Back at you! REVENGE OF THE
HURRICANE!!!
Tom: (imitating Oscar) SHINING SMASH!!!
Crow: (imitating Youma) GALACTIC ATTACK!!!
Tom: (imitating Oscar) GENOCIDE SONIC!!!
Crow: (imitating Youma) BEST THUNDER!!!
Tom: (imitating Oscar) BURNING ATTACK!!!
Crow: (imitating Youma) BURNING BLAST!!!
Joel: Uh guys....
Tom: (imitating Oscar) ATOMIC SMASH!!!
Crow: (imitating Youma) THUNDER PULSE!!!
Joel: GUYS!!!
(Tom pauses in mid shout and looks at Joel. Then he sheepishly
returns to his seat, Crow doing the same a moment later.)
and he made his infamous Kame-Hame-Ha!,
Tom: Uh-huh....
"Check this! it's my KAME-HAME-HA!"
Crow: (imitating youma) I can read the narration, dickweed....
a blue energy ball began forming on his hands, the youma was
intimidated by it and blocked, the energy ball was small, due to
Oscar's lack of energy, and he finally released it
Tom: ....five years later.
Joel: And I thought Goku and Vegita fusing together to form Gojita
took it's sweet time....
"HAAAA!!!" he shouted as the beam stroke the youma,
Crow: (imitating Youma) A little lower and to the right....ahhhh,
that's the spot....
but the youma persisted, Oscar was already sweating hard, and he
knew that he'd must use his ultimate move,
All: RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!
Joel: "When in doubt, get hell out..." - Jack Acid, 1998
"Lola....everyone...goodbye.." he said with a smile, the youma raised
an eyebrow, and Lola gasped
Crow: Most illogical....
"Wait...no!" Fifi also exalted when she heard this,
Crow: (imitating Fifi singing) Glo-o-o-o-ria!
Tom: (imitating Fifi singing) Free! Free as ze wind blow!
Buster was astounded to see what Oscar was about to do for them.
Crow: (Imitating Buster) He's going to die for us! Wahoo!
Joel: Ask not....what your hermaphrodite can do for you....but what
you can do for your hermaphrodite....
Oscar then with his speed he ran and grabbed hold of the youma, the
grip VERY tightened,
Tom: INTENSE....CLENCHING....ACTION....
"Hey you lil motherfucker let me go!!"
Joel: Shouldn't that be lil MF.?
Oscar grinned and he began concentrating his remaining energy,
making a big yellow energy field around them,
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Duh, let's see how you handle my *URINE*
Ki Blast!
Joel: Ugh! Crow, that's gross....
Tom: Oscar's pissed off enough people as it is....
"OSCAR! DON'T!!"
All: YES!!! SACRIFICE YOURSELF!!! DO IT!!!
Lola yelled desperately, almost crying, Fifi was puzzled for Lola's
actions, and she tought "Hmmm...nah it couldn't be, they're dif. ages",
Joel: And that makes all the dif. in the world....
Crow: I thought Oscar said Lola was 14? How old does that make
Fifi?
Joel: I think we'd best leave that question unanswered....
Oscar smiled one last time "Good-bye....my friends.."
Crow: (imitating Shatner) My....little friends....my....special friends....
Tom: (imitating Toons) HEY OSCAR....GET BENT!!!
the energy's light was WAY too bright to see a thing, and the Youma
yelled in pain "AAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!!"
Crow: The Youma must be reliving *Toon Lights*....
when the whole dust cleared off, only crushed pavement was left.
Crow: And when that was cleared off, only wood was left, and when
that was cleared off, only dirt was left, and when that was cleared
off, ONLY JIMMY HOFFA WAS LEFT, AND WHEN THAT WAS
CLEARED OFF, ONLY SOLID ROCK WAS LEFT AND WHEN
THAT WAS CLEARED....
Joel: (puts his hand on Crow's shoulder) Uh, I think they get the idea,
Crow.
Crow: Sorry, got a little carried away there.
"NOOOOO!!!!" Lola yelled, as she rushed to the place where Oscar
was ast standing, she knelt looking down, crying softly, she looked
upwards and imagined Oscar's face in the sky.
Joel: (singing) Oscar in the sky....with diamonds....
Crow: If I saw Oscar's face in the sky I would drop a load.
Joel: Yuck, Crow!
That night
Crow: ....things happened, stuff blew up, it was cool.
All: (imitating toons singing) NA NA NA NA....NA NA NA NA....HEY
HEY HEY....GOOD-BYE!!!
"Oscar...perhaps the only boy who isn't a complete jerk" Said Lola,
alone in a bench
All: TOGGG!!!
looking at the moon,
Crow: I wonder what Lola imagines when she sees the moon?
Tom: With it's pocked and scarred surface? Probably Oscar's....
Joel: Don't say it, Tom....
she thought if she'd find someone as him, "Oscar..".
Tom: Geez! Get over it! Move on with your life!
Crow: They could always make a sequel to Space Jam....
Joel: Only if Camelot bombs....
Fifi was in her house, looking at her mirror, remembering what
Oscar told her "I'll leave soon" she then sniffed "But why did you had
to leave this way?"
Crow: (imitating Fifi) Why couldn't your death have been gorier?
In a lone part of Acme city, Oscar was already refueled with his
normal power, due that the youma was destroyed and it's nega energy
field was gone, he wanted to stay but he had to return home.
Joel: ....and those are all completely different thoughts...
He couldn't stand say good-bye to them...
Tom: So, why bother!
Crow: ....and they couldn't stand him, period.
he sighed sadly and fled to the big WB,
Crow: I don't suppose there's any chance Phil Silvers will drive out
of a nearby river and run over Oscar, is there?
Tom: Probably not....
the WB opened to Oscar and he went in, surprisingly, he returned
just where he left, he saw Artemis in the bed, the lights off, and the
exact hour he left, meaning that time froze when he was in Tiny
Toon/ Looney tune land.
Joel: Hey! Oscar ripped off my time flux alarm clock invention from
the Hellraiser MSTing!
Crow: Are you surprised?
Joel: Not really, now that you mention it....
He wa releived, of that, and simply went to sleep with Arty.
Tom: His last name wouldn't happen to be Johnson, would it?
Joel: Oscar's sleeping with a member of the Fantastic Four?!? Where
does it end!?! WHERE DOES IT END!?!
Crow: Uh oh! Oscar forgot to beat up some fierce street dogs before
climbing into bed! There's gonna be hell to pay, come the morning....
Meanwhile in the enemy's base: "Dammit!" Kaoline punched the
wall, in anger,
Tom: (imitating Kaoline) I barely got any screen time!
Crow: Trust me honey, you got off lucky....
as her first attempt failed, "Well, at least there's still Chris and
Felicia hm hm hm ha ha ha ha!!!" she laughed wickedly.
Crow: Actually, I'd classify that laugh as slightly hideous....
Tom: Who's this Chris guy, anyway? Chris Davies?
Joel: Only if Kaoline *comes to his window*....
Crow: (groans)
Tom: Maybe it's Chris Willmore?
Joel: Only if this fic is set in the year *3473 1/2*....
Crow: (groans) Please....stop....
Finally, the next day in Tiny Toon/Looney Tune land,
Crow: The rest of the toons returned home and the streets were still
filled with the sounds of mass celebration with the departure of Oscar....
Joel: Pinky and the Brain were devising yet another plan to try and
take over the world....
Tom: How about sending Oscar over to Disney? There's a diabolical
plan for you....
Fifi went back to school hoping to find another special someone,
Tom: (imitating Plucky) Hey, I'm still here, gorgeous!
Crow: (imitating Fifi) Ze sigh....I guess I'll have to pine after Elmer
Fudd again....I find bald men zo sexy....
and Lola went back to stand the whole dumbasses that called her
"Doll" or harased her sexually
Crow: .....against the wall while she emptied her uzis into them.
Tom: Nothing like a spraying a little hot lead to ease the pain....
Joel: Guys....
"A normal day...damn" she said as she went to the gym once more....
Tom: (imitating Lola) I can't believe I turned down Ryoucilo's fic for
this one! What was I thinking?!?
Joel: Hey, after *P-Chan's Lover* and all the other sickfic parodies he's
done lately, she was probably a little wary of working with him....
Crow: Still, you have to respect a guy with a work output like his....
Tom: True enough. Let's just hope he finds some better things to write
about....
The End....for now!
Tom: It's over....It's finally over....
Crow: We....We survived him for a third time....
Joel: We did it! We're the first triple crown Oscar-fic MSTers!
Crow and Tom: (weakly) Yay....
I hope you liked it he he he, i tried to spell check ok? no promises
Tom: Like we'd believe you anyway...
Crow: Promise us nothing and we'll give you squat!
Joel: Give yourselves some credit guys! You really hung in there! I'm
proud of you!
Tom: Thanks, Joel. Now, can you please deliver us from evil?
Joel: (picks Tom up) Sure thing, Tommy....
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
Joel leaned against the wall next to the Holocabana doors as
he waited for the bots to finish their *surprise* program. Then the
doors opened as Tom hovered outside to face his creator. "It's ready,
Joel! Check it out!" he exclaimed.
"What's the program about?" Joel asked as he followed Tom
through the Holocabana doors.
"You'll see!" Tom replied as the doors shut behind them.
* * *
OUTSIDE ACME LOONIVERSITY.....
"What's that?" Lola said a lil worried, and the ground kept
shaking, each time a STOMP sound was heard, they went out of the
gym, and saw that something was breaking havoc in the city
"Aw damn!" Oscar thought "It better not be what i think it is",
Lola then followed Oscar, as he ran down to the havoc site. Oscar
pouted as he saw what he feared it'd be.
Godzilla glared down at the little hermaphrodite and roared.
The volume smashed all the windows of the Looniversity and Oscar
was thrown backwards to smash hard against the brick wall.
BBAAAAAM!!!"
"GO GODZILLA GO! GO GODZILLA GO!" The toons
chanted.
Oscar painfully peeled himself off the wall and tried to
summon a Kame-Hame-Ha, only to find his powers had completely
vanished. He then ran towards Lola and Fifi who stood by the
sidelines. "Duh, please help me! i can't fight him alone!"
Lola seemed to consider him for a moment. "Kneel down and
beg me." she finally replied.
Oscar immediately fell to his knees and clasped his hands
together. "PLASE!!! I'M BEGGING U! HELP ME!!!"
"What was that? Plase? I'm not familiar with that word...."
Lola replied, giggling lightly.
Oscar jaw-dropped. Then he turned to face Fifi. "Feef, plase!
i need a lil. help cuz i got no powers left!!! Without them, I'm frogned!"
"Hmmm....ze are really in a jam, no?" Fifi hummed.
"YES!!! My powers are gone! I can't even play b.ball
anymore!" Oscar whimpered.
"Well, Oscie, I'm afraid I don't love you anymore...."
"WHAT?!? But I tough we were lovers cuz we F. with
excitation...."
"And what about me, Oscar?"
Oscar froze with terror. Then he slowly turned to see Artemis
standing behind him looking *VERY* angry. "What's the matter,
OSCIE...." Artemis hissed, her hands on her hips. "You need a couple
of fierce street dogs to *putted* you out of your misery?"
"Uh....er....um...." Oscar stammered nervously, eyeing the girl
in front of him with great fear.
"Oh well....It doesn't make any *dif.* There's no dogs around
here, although there are some rats that would like to talk to you...."
"AHHHHHHHH!!!" Oscar screamed as Roderick and his
slaves came out of nowhere and descended upon him. Then Elmer
Fudd rushed into the fray, the sound of a double-barreled shotgun
being discharged over and over. Soon a long line had quickly formed
in front of the carnage, filled with toons wishing to extract their
revenge. At the front of the line was Bugs Bunny, who calmly ate a
carrot while tightening his fist around a pair of brass knuckles....
* * *
SEVERAL DAYS LATER....
Pinky let out a yawn. "I'm tired, Brain. Let's call it a night."
The Brain nodded. "Very well, Pinky. We've unleashed as
much whoop-ass on Oscar as possible for a pair of three inch lab mice.
But come the morning, We must start preparing for tomorrow night!"
"Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?" Pinky
asked.
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky....TRY AND TAKE
OVER THE WORLD!"
As the two mice scampered off to the closing chords of their
theme music, Lola, Fifi and Artemis walked over to the crumpled,
bruised, and thoroughly pulverized figure of Oscar. Then they looked
up at Godzilla, who had been waiting patiently all this time.
"Okay, Godzilla. Your turn." Lola called up to him.
"Make ze French Fries out of heem!" Fifi shouted.
"FINISH HIM...." Artemis whispered.
Godzilla bowed to them and then let out a ear-splitting roar,
which painfully brought Oscar back to consciousness. Oscar looked up
and screamed as Godzilla reared his head back and unleashed his
patented Blue Flame (C) by Toho, All Rights Reserved.
Fifi and Lola held their noses as the smell of sizzling Oscar
was in the air. Then Godzilla raised one of his feet and smashed it
down on the flaming mass. The three girls cheered loudly as a chorus
of Hallelujah suddenly boomed out of thin air. (This is Loony Tune
Land, after all).
Then Lola called up to the mutated lizard again. "Thanks for
the help, big guy! Good luck in New York! If you see the cast of
Seinfeld up there, give em some blue flame for me!"
"Farewell Godzilla! Watch out for ze senshi in green!" Fifi
added.
"You have my gratitude and an invitation to my wedding!"
Artemis called out happily.
Godzilla nodded in their direction before stomping off
towards the direction of the ocean. The trio of girls watched him go
and then gave each other high fives before returning to the
Looniversity to celebrate....
"End program, Magic Voice...."
* * *
THE HOLOCABANA
"So, what do you think, Joel?" Tom asked.
"Is our *alternate ending* everything it's cracked up to be?"
Crow asked.
Joel shook his head and smiled. "You guys should write
revengefics for a living."
"Ha! Give us a empty holocabana and we're Picasso!" Tom
exclaimed with pride.
"What do you think, sirs?" Crow asked.
DEEP 13
"Will you please hold still, Frank!" Dr. Forrester growled as
he picked up another piece of charcoal and scribbled on his paper. A
few feet in front of him, Frank was lying on a casting couch, nude
except for a strategically placed leaf.
"I can't believe my therapist actually recommended this to
me...." Dr. Forrester mumbled under his breath as he tried to
concentrate on the inner beauty of his assistant and not on the fat
naked slob that threatened to bring up his lunch with every passing
moment....
Suddenly there was a snap as the charcoal broke off for what
seemed like the thousandth time. Disgusted, Dr. Forrester threw the
charcoal on the floor and stood up, stretching his tired muscles. "I
think I'm going to call it a day, Frank...."
"Okay, I'll push the button." Frank replied as he started to
rise.
"NO! I mean, just stay there and for god's sake, keep that
leaf steady!" Dr. Forrester replied as he pushed the button.
"Why, Dr. F, I do believe you're blushing...."
"Shut up, Frank."
THE REAL END....
(Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.)
16 MSTings....Wow. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that I've
written that many episodes. It's a lot of hard work and late hours but
it's something I honestly enjoy doing and I hope I can continue to bring
you these works for a long time to come. :)
I'd like to give very special thanks to Gary Kleppe, Robin "Lunari"
Seabaugh, Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong, Jack Acid and the Flashman, who
were all very helpful in giving me C&C and ideas for this MSTing. I
couldn't have finished this MSTing without their help and I can't thank
them enough. :)
I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris
Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight), Michael K. Neylon,
Demon Stalker, and Sakura for being nice enough to post my MSTings
on their webpages.
Another person I would like to give very special thanks to is Shizen,
who was nice enough to dedicate a webpage for my MSTings. Shizen
has his own IRC and Beseen.com chatrooms, along with several other
features including a growing collection of Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon
fanfics. My other fanfics as well as Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh's can be
found in these collections and new submissions are very welcome.
(Note: This webpage is down at the moment but a new link for it should
be available in the near future.)
I'd like to thank Theo Mintesnot for coming up with a love theme
for this series by changing a few words. I changed a few myself but it
was his idea and I appreciate it. :)
Also, I'm very proud to announce that my MSTings won the following
categories for the 1st Annual Silver Mally Awards and I'm very grateful
to everyone who voted for them. If you're interested in the complete
results, visit Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings.
*BEST ANIME (Non-Sailor Moon) MSTING*
"War" MSTed by Megane 6.7
(Runner up:"Ranma vs the Joker" MSTed by Kevin Pezzano)
*BEST SAILOR MOON MSTING* (TIE)
"Dimisional Trouble", MSTed by Tim McLees
"Sailor Jupiter vs Godzilla", MSTed by Megane 6.7
*BEST NON-ANIME MSTING*
"Moondusted", MSTed by Tim McLees, Megane 6.7 &
Mark Sachs
(Runner Up: "A Final Fantasy 7 Thanksgiving", MSTed by
Jamie Jeans
*BEST MSTING OF A LEMON*
"Artemis' Lover" MSTed by Megane 6.7
(Runner-Up:Virgin Warrior Sailor Moon, MSTed by
Megane 6.7)
*BRAVEST AUTHOR*
Megane 6.7, the 1st TVAM MSTer, discovered Oscar.
(Runner-Up:Don Euclid, for his work with the Sasami lemons)
*BEST HOST SEGMENTS IN A MSTING*
Megane 6.7
(Runner-Up:Tim McLees)
*BEST RIFFS IN A MSTING*
Megane 6.7
(Runner-up:Seth Triggs)
My MSTings have also won and been nominated for the following
awards....
*ARTEMIS'S LOVER*
- Nominated for the Golden Hamdinger for "Best Host Segments"
- Awarded the Balsa Waffle for "Worst Fanfic"
- Awarded the Balsa Waffle for "Worst New Characters"
*TRANSITIONS*
- Nominated for the Golden Hamdinger for "Best Host Segments"
Thank you very much. :)
Finally I'd like to thank Oscar for writing "Oscar Toon" and giving
me a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too offended. It's
all meant in good fun. If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I
won't mind a bit.
C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to
send in any anime fanfics that you would like to see MSTed and I'll
take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous
episodes of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;)
Sincerely,
Megane 6.7
P.S. My friend, Lunari, has just finished another SM story called
"Child of Destiny" Like "Dying Fire" and "Justification is in Order" it
is a excellent story and if you are interested in reading it, contact her at
lunari@sprynet.com and I'm sure she'll be happy to send a copy to
you. :)
Also, Jack Acid has begun his own series of MSTings and is a very
talented computer graphics artist. You can find some of his works in
the art gallery at Tenchi's site and you can contact him at
jack_acid@yahoo.com
Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html
(Celebrating it's one year anniversary, Tenchi's webpage is now bigger
and better looking than ever! Check out the new features and enjoy the
MSTings of an ever-growing number of talented authors.)
Shizen's Versatile Homepage
http://www.winnipeg.freenet.mb.ca/~cto427/index.html
(Currently Down. A new link should be available soon.)
Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics
(Another author with a vast selection of terrific Ranma 1/2 fanfics and
a great human being.)
The Official Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.li.net/~jeffwong/index.htm
(Author of the popular "Usagi's Usual Morning" and "The Least One
Can Do" series, He is a great human being and has assisted me with
several of my MSTings.)
Flashman's Flash Point
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/
(Author of the popular series "Trio" and creator of the "Flash Point"
MSTings. Can you say great human being? I thought you could. ;P )
Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml
(Huge collection of MSTings, Anime and Non-Anime.)
A Sailor Moon Romance
http://moonromance.simplenet.com/
(The source of some of my MSTings and updated weekly with new fics.)
Jupiter Knight's Great Sailor Moon Fanfic Archive
http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/fanfics.htm
(A great source of Sailor Moon Fanfics.)
Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html
(One of the most controversial fanfic writers today and one of my favorites.)
Webdragon's Lair
http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/
(The author of many wonderful short stories and the occasional lemon.)
Demon Stalker's Stories Archive
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/4937/index.html
(A growing collection of fanfiction from a variety of animes)
Sakura's Lemon Fan-Fiction Archive
http://anime.muck.com/~sakura/main.html
(Ever growing collection of Lemon Fanfiction from all walks of Anime.)
The Shrine O' Oscar
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/Oscar.html
(Home of all the Oscarfic MSTings and final respects paid to him....)
SEASON ONE
------------------
101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon)
102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon)
103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman
(SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER)
104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic)
105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic)
107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton
(La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover)
108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky
(SM/WWF Crossover)
w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover)
110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER
CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic)
SEASON TWO
-------------------
201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon)
202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon)
203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM Fanfic)
204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic)
205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon)
"Oscar...perhaps the only boy who isn't a complete jerk" Said Lola,
alone in a bench looking at the moon, she thought if she'd find someone
as him, "Oscar.."."
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics....