These little things are habit-forming, aren't they? Like Lay's Potato 
Chips--bet you can't write just one. (Omigod! Another adfic idea! 
Aaarrrghh!)

This one is rather lime-tinged. Blame the commercial it's based on. It 
also breaks the rules of the original challenge. I'm so naughty.

***

[Mid-morning in the Tendo dojo. Soun and Genma are playing shogi. Ranma 
and Ryoga are kibitzing. Suddenly Shampoo walks through the room in a 
very short bathrobe, smiling at the mass facefault. The men are 
understandably distracted. Genma even forgets to take advantage and move 
the pieces around.]

Shampoo: Nihao!

[Kasumi sticks her head in from the kitchen.]

Kasumi: Oh, father, I forgot to mention. Shampoo called a little while 
ago to say that the plumbing has broken down at her great-grandmother's. 
She asked if she could use our bath while it's being repaired. I said 
that it would be fine.

Shampoo (bowing, showing some cleavage): Tendo-san so generous.

Soun: Err, uhhh, fine? Fine, yes, certainly. G-g-go right ahead.

[Shampoo exits, watched by all four, then pokes her head back in to wink 
at Ranma.]

Shampoo: Airen no peek!

[The men spend a flustered moment recovering themselves. Finally...]

Ryoga: Ranma, you pervert! How could you even _think_ of betraying Akane 
by spying on Shampoo like that?

Ranma: What?! I wouldn't! This has nothing to do with me--it's another 
of Shampoo's stupid tricks to embarrass me!

Soun: Yes, of course.

Genma: Good for you, son.

Soun: We'll all just ignore her.

Genma: Pretend she isn't here.

[From off-screen comes the sound of running water, followed by a 
scrubbing noise.]

Ryoga: Eheh-heh. The walls here are a little thin, aren't they?

[The others nod. It's clear they aren't even pretending not to listen. 
Then...]

Shampoo (off-screen): Mmmmm. Oh....oh...!!!

Soun (reddening): Yes...well, we keep meaning to install soundproofing, 
but with the weekly repairs to the dojo to pay for...

Shampoo (o. s.--louder scrubbing noises): Mmmmm! Oh, yes! Oh, Shampoo 
like! Shampoo feel so good...!

[Soun's adam's apple yo-yo's. Genma swallows loudly.]

Shampoo (o. s.--scrubbing even more vigourously): Ah...aaahhhh! Oh, yes! 
Oh, oh, OH!

[Ranma sweats, the corner of his mouth twitching. Ryoga looks like he's 
being strangled.]

Shampoo (o. s. [yes, you hentai, the camera's staying right where it 
is]--scrubbing continues apace, mixed with sounds of splashing water): 
OH! SO GOOD! OOOHHHHH! YES! YES! YES!

[Soun faints. Genma looks about ready to crumble. Ranma's eyes bug out. 
Ryoga's nose explodes.]

Shampoo (o.s [no, not even a tiny little look!]--sound of water trails 
off to a few splashes, then drips): Aaaaa-aahhhhhhhhh...

[Genma, Ranma and Ryoga all pull buckets of cold water out of nowhere 
and simultaneously upend them over their heads. Shampoo walks in--IN her 
bathrobe, thank you very much--wrapping her hair in a towel. She looks 
over to the nearly comatose Genma-panda, onna-Ranma and P-chan, then 
smiles into the camera and holds up a bottle.]

Shampoo: Shampoo know shampoo. Only best good enough. Shampoo is worth 
it. That why Shampoo like Amazon Essence. Made with from secret mix of 
all-natural herbs and botanicals from village recipe number 696 handed 
down from great-grandmother to great-grandmother. Amazon Essence--is 
totally organic experience!

[She surveys the wreckage of overwrought masculinity around her and 
smiles once more. Kasumi sticks her head out from the kitchen again.]

Kasumi: Oh, Shampoo? Would you let me borrow that Amazon Essence for a 
day or two?

Shampoo: It least Shampoo can do.

[Shampoo leaves the shampoo on the table and exits. Kasumi walks through 
on her way to the bathroom, picking it up and reading the label as she 
goes. The men all look wildly at each other, panic setting in.  There is 
a sound of running water off-screen, a few scrubs, then a moment of 
silence.]

Kasumi (o. s.): Oh, my...

***

All characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and the licensed 
distributors of her work.

Jim Champagne
jwc70@hotmail.com

[ERIC CARTMAN sidles on screen, looks right, and pitches his voice all 
innocent and sugary.]
Eric: Excuse me, I am a lost little boy. Can you help me?
[Pan right to reveal RYOGA, holding a map of the greater Tokyo 
metropolitan area--upside down.]
Ryoga: What do you expect ME to do about it?!
Eric: Aw, CRAP...!!!

- Just another day in South Nerima...


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