[In front of Furinkan High, a stage is set up and many people stand in
front of it. Off to the side of the stage Nabiki, wearing rain gear,
talks into a microphone.]
Nabiki: I am here today to show you, yes you the consumer of many
household appliacances, the handiest and the dandiest item for all
your needs! It works wonders in the kitchen! It is every woman's dream
appliance! Is it a chopper in a hopper? Is it a taker on the baker? No
it's...
[Akane goes up to center stage where a podium is that only goes about
waist high to her. On the podium is a melon.]
Nabiki: SLEDGE O' MATIC!
[Akane pulls out a large plain mallet and smashes the melon. Bits of
the melon fly into the ground.]
Nabiki: Sledge O' Matic is capable of compressing any food item and
can work as a meat tenderizer. It works on melons, it'll get that last
stubborn bit of toothpaste out of the tube...
[Akane places toothpaste tube on the podium, and smashes it.]
Nabiki: Compresses light blubs...
[Akane places a light bulb on the podium, and hits it. It doesn't
shatter, rather it is now a rather flat light bulb.]
Nabiki: Is easy to clean...
[Akane dunks the end of the mallet forcefully into a 10 gallon bucket
of water.]
Mousse: (In audiance) Quack.
Nabiki: Though it's most functional feature is to show your perverted
fiance the error of his ways.
[Ranma suddenly appears on stage and Akane knocks him unconcious.]
Nabiki: You to can own this marvelous invention! Sledge O' Matic is
available now for the low pricve of only 9990 yen. Orders can be sent
to:
[Words appear on screen while Nabiki is talking.]
Sledge O' Matic - Ghallagher Industries.
care of Tendo Dojo.
Send 9990 yen plus 1500 yen for shipping and handling.
[Appears in fine print at bottom of screen.]
All orders to be shipped Febuary 30th.
--------------------------------
Commerical by: Lord Archive
Characters are borrowed from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz Video, etc.
Sledge O' Matic copyright of Ghallagher.
/ LORD ARCHIVE \
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* The JAFO otaku. * A Knight of The True Fiancee, Akane. *
* Slave of GRAAC * Addiction, The Footman of the Appocalypse. *
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* Web Page: http://www.mich.com/~archive - Ranma fan-fiction *
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