Subject: [FFML] [STH] [SPAMFIC] Lurker's adfic challenge
From: "Paul M. Arezina" <arezina@acad1.stvincent.edu>
Date: 5/19/1998, 5:43 PM
To: "Fanfic Mailing List" <ffml@fanfic.com>
CC: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net>

Let's make it an even sixteen. This isn't strictly an anime series, but the
comic and animated versions are no less long-running, and it's got its share
of good writers as well.

Disclaimer: The SatAM Sonic series and the commercial being spoofed are
copyrights of their respective creators and all distributors of their work,
and are used without permission.

Camera directions are in [].

*****

[Open on a shot of Robotnik's control room. Robotnik is pacing around
nervously, and Snively is standing, watching his uncle pace back and forth.
A bank of monitors is easily visible.]

Robotnik: I don't understand it, Snively! How can that simple little rodent
foil every single scheme I try to take him down with?!

[Robotnik smashes his fist on a console, and the bank of monitors comes to
life.]

Robotnik (thoughtfully): Could it be the quills, Snively?

[Snively runs over to the console and begins typing away, and footage
appears on the monitor. We see Sonic drilling through soil, concrete, and
metal bars, and slicing SWATbots open with a single spin.]

Snively: Yes, sir. It's definitely the quills, sir. He can and has cut
through almost everything with them.

[Robotnik rounds on Snively.]

Robotnik: Don't be ridiculous, Snively. Every hedgehog on Mobius has those
blasted preternaturally hard quills, and I've captured most of them easily.

[Snively deflates, types a few commands into the console, and the monitors
go to static. Robotnik resumes pacing, and looks up after a few seconds, a
thoughtful expression on his face.]

Robotnik: Could it be the attitude, Snively?

[Snively calls up footage of Sonic playing air guitar for the spy-eyes and
razzing SWATbots.]

Snively: Yes, sir. It's definitely the attitude, sir. He'd be a quivering
wreck and submit easily without it.

[Robotnik rounds on Snively again.]

Robotnik: Do you take me for a FOOL, Snively? The miserable little group of
rebels in the Eastern Woods behaved exactly the same way before I captured
them. It must be something else!

[The monitors go to static again, and Robotnik resumes his pacing. He looks
up after a few seconds.]

Robotnik: Could it be the Power Rings, Snively?

[Snively calls up footage of Sonic activating a Power Ring, being surrounded
by the glow, and smashing through anything and everything in his way.
There's LOTS of this lying around Robotropolis...]

Snively: Yes, sir. It's DEFINITELY the Power Rings, sir. Without them, he
wouldn't have enough speed to evade us.

[Robotnik rounds on Snively again.]

Robotnik: You're an IDIOT, Snively! That blasted hedgehog has managed to
evade me time and again, even WITHOUT the Ring to help him. It must be
something else!

[The monitors go to static again. Robotnik resumes pacing, and a slow smile
spreads across his face.]

Robotnik: I know what it is, Snively. The one thing the hedgehog has with
him constantly, that no other Mobian can even remotely claim to possess!

Snively: And that would be what, sir?

Robotnik: Snively! It's SO OBVIOUS! It HAS to be the shoes!

[The bank of monitors displays a composite image of Sonic, and zooms in on
his feet. There is a familiar swoosh on those red shoes...]

[Cut to a placard with the Nike logo.]

Sonic (v.o.): Nike Air Hedgehogs. Just spin it.

[Fade to black.]

*****

I'm entirely too good at these for it to be healthy...

--G. Falconar