The following fic was created by me, Mike Allen.  However, I do not own
any of the characters that I am using.  That honor belongs to the
honorable Rumiko Takahashi and any and all companies to which she has
sold the rights.  So, please do not sue me.

Happy Tears

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CLAP � shh shh shh � CLAP � shh shh shh �

Humminah, Humminah, Humminah

The figure in front of the family shrine was not chanting a traditional
prayer.  The sounds he made were more like the noise a lecherous man
would speak when looking on a pretty girl.  After a few minutes he
started talking.

"I'm sorry mother, it's been a long time since I talked to you.  I still
miss you, do you know that?  I have been very lonely since you left."

"I remember when I was a little child and the others would make fun of
me, you were always there to give me a hug and a kiss.  I always loved
your smell.  You always smelled of the kitchen or of soap or of whatever
else you had been doing when I came in."  

*********************************************************

"Mom!!" The little five year old boy cried as he ran into his home.
"They picked on me again and called me a dwarf!  What's a dwarf?"

As the mother picked up her little boy she said "Hush my baby.  Don't
let them hurt you.  Remember that when someone calls you a name, they
are only jealous of you."  

She began rocking the little boy and singing his favorite "crying" song.
It was just a hummed melody that slowly repeated itself.  It was magic
to the little boy.  It always made him feel better when he was hurt or
crying.  Slowly, his tears dried.  As he sat in his mother's lap, he
hugged her.  He loved the feel of her kimono against his face.  He loved
her smell.  He looked up into her face and saw her warm brown eyes
smiling sadly into his.  He was the luckiest boy in the world.  His
mommy loved him and he knew it!  "Thanks, Mommy I'm OK now!"       

As she patted him and watched him run off, she felt sad because he never
seemed to grow.  He had been a perfect baby.  He was precious.  He had
grown just like all of the other children until his fourth birthday.  It
seemed as if the Kami had cursed him to not grow any taller.  She knew
that the other children in the village were going to be cruel to him and
that she could not help him.  He would have to learn to stand on his
own.  Yet she also knew that he was a sensitive boy.  He took after his
father in that.  His father was able to lose himself in his books and
poetry.  She was her husband's opposite in that respect.  Where he had
his head in the clouds, she stayed firmly on the ground.  How else could
you take care of your children, home and husband?  She decided to talk
to the other mothers and ask them to tell their children to not pick on
her littlest one.

That evening after she had put the children to bed, she talked to her
husband.  "Our baby has a problem, dear.  He is being picked on more and
more by the other children."

"I have heard about it.  What should we do?  Our son is a disgrace.  I
think we should send him off to a monastery so that no one will know he
is mine."

"You will never say that to me again!  He is OUR son and I will NOT let
him be sent away.  Do you understand me?"

"Yes.  Just don't expect me to love him as I do his brothers and sisters
who are normal."

"Ohhhhh, I do not believe I am hearing this from you!  Do you not love
your own son?"

"When my son is a curse sent to me by the Kami?  No."

"Very well, dear, I will take care of him."

"Very well."

A little boy who should not have been awake, felt his heart shatter and
cried himself to sleep.  
His father didn't love him.  He didn't even like him.   

*********************************************************

The next morning, the boy and his mother began a new game.  It was weird
at first.  She told him that he had to learn to fail, before he could
learn to win.  He did not know what that meant.  He did know that his
mother loved him and she was spending time with him.  What more did he
need to know?  

As time went by, the game got harder and harder.  After he learned to
fail, they played tag.  All he had to do was to tag his mother.  It was
harder than he expected.  She kept dodging and moving in ways that he
never expected.  She was a gentle and patient teacher.  After every
game, she sat down and talked to him about how he could have tagged her
and what he could do the next day.  He wanted to be the best for his
Mommy.  As he became better at the game, fewer of the village children
could get away with beating him up or taunting him.  However, he always
felt set apart from the other children.  They always looked down on him
because he was so much smaller than everyone else.  

His father never really said much to him.  Occasionally, his father
would ask him if he had grown any.  When told no, his father would frown
and turn away.  This hurt the boy.  This hurt him more that the father
would ever know.


When the boy was seven years old, there was a plague in the land.  The
boy, two of his sisters and his mother all came down with it.  It was a
terrible disease.  The doctors told the father that he had to keep
plenty of fluids in his family or that they would die of diarrhea.   The
father saw to it that his daughters and wife had the proper amount of
water.  He actually thought that this was plague had been sent by the
Kami to allow him to rid his family of his shame.  

The wife, sick as she was, realized what was happening.  She sacrificed
her water for her son.  As the children began to get better, the boy's
mother died.   

At the funeral pyre, the father in an agony of self-loathing and grief
told his youngest son, "YOU are the cause of my wife's death.  You are
NOT her son.  You are NOT MY son.  I do not even acknowledge you to be
of my family.  LEAVE NOW MURDERER!!!"  

The boy was crushed beyond belief.  He was thrown out of his home.  The
only thing of his mother's that he could get was a pair of panties.  His
beloved mother was dead.  His, his father had disowned him.  He curled
up into a fetal position and cried.  He cried for a full week.  Finally,
one of his mother's sisters came and took him in.  She took him back to
China.  She told him that his mother had been an Amazon warrior and that
out of love for his &*(&*&(*, she had left to be his wife.  She took him
to the Amazon village where he lived until he was sixteen.  

*********************************************************

He found that he was a natural at all martial arts.  While he was there,
he learned all of the secrets that they allowed men to learn.  He also
learned a few that he wasn't supposed to.  

Since he had no name, the amazons decided to called him Dan Druff.  The
other children held him in high esteem because of how good he was at
martial arts.  He even could fight Cologne to a stand-still.  No one
ever thought that his height was a problem.  If anything, they thought
more of him because he wasn't as big and strong as most of the men.
However, no one, not even Cologne could get him to open up.  He was
always acting happy.  He acted as if nothing ever bothered him.  He
never had anything to do with the men of the tribe.  He only suffered
the boys when he needed to.  With the women, he was a shy reserved
child.  They felt sorry for him.  He made a shrine for his mother.  All
he had of her were here panties, those he made the centerpiece of the
shrine.  He prayed there at least twice a week.  He would have long
conversations with her.  His aunt tried several times to break through
his mental defenses.  She never did.

When he had just turned seventeen, one of the village boys played a
prank on him.  He stole the panties out of Dan's shrine.  He thought
they were something Dan had stolen and showed them to everyone and
called him a pervert.  Dan exploded.  He beat the offender to within an
inch of death.  The boy could never run again.  The village elders
decided that he would be a pariah for a year as punishment.  The only
one allowed to have anything to do with him was Cologne.  

Cologne had always been nice to him.  She had a crush on him.  She
expected to be beaten by him sooner or later.  She would lose at a time
of her choosing, of course.

Dan didn't like his punishment.  He felt wronged.  He decided to change
his name again.  Now he would be called Happosai.  If they thought he
was a pervert, OK.  A pervert he would be.  He intentionally stole
panties, bras and other intimate things from every amazon in the tribe.
Including the honored elders who had sentenced him.  As it couldn't be
proven that he had stolen the items, the amazons let him be.  It wasn't
until Cologne caught him with her Nanban mirror that he was banished.  

*********************************************************

He closed the shrine carefully.  He wiped his eyes and said, "Goodbye
mother, I will talk to you soon.  I am glad that you love me.  I love
you, too."

Happosai then turned and lay down on his futon and went to sleep.

Nabiki, in her room, took off her earphones.  She wiped her eyes,  "I
didn't know that Happosai had any side other than being an old lecher."

She looked at her recording equipment.  She took the cassette out of the
machine and set it on a magnet.  "Some things are too personal to save."
She thought.  "Dang, I must be getting soft."

*********************************************************


Why am I writing depressing or sick fics?  I don't know!!!  Help!!! I
want to write a comedy!  Oh, well.  I think Happosai wants his story
told.  My muse is telling me his story and it is coming out very
quickly.  

If there is a next installment, it will reflect on Happosai's early
adulthood.  Yes, there will be some fighting in it.

Mike Allen

All C&C is welcome, flames, MST's whatever.  I hope that you are not as
depressed by the time you are reading this as I am from having written
it.  

Ja ne!