Note: this was originally inspired by "Anime Night Live" written by
Scriviner. I adpated this to meet Lurker's challenge. Enjoy.

All characters are the property of their respective creators and are used
without Permission

AT&T is a trademark of American Telephone & Telegraph and is used with out
permission.

*****
AT&T
by Eric George
C&C: Kirpal Sukumar
*****

Kuno (walking through a scene similar to the first scene in Oh My Goddess!):
As the vengeance of Heaven is slow but sure, AT&T's connectivity is fast and
secure.

We see Keiichi dialling several numbers and is slowly getting frustrated. He
suddenly smiles but slowly starts frowning as he listens to the phone.

Phone: You have reached the demon help line. Please press 1 if you want a
minor demon to for some killing. Press 2 if you want a demon to possess your
boss. Press 3 if you want a demon to possess your wife. Press 4 if you want
your children to be released from possession. Press 5 if you want your soul
possessed. Press 6 if you have gathered some souls to sell. Press 7 or wait
on the line if you want to talk to a representative. If you need to speak to
a superviser, please press 666. If you have dialed a wrong number, it's too
late; you are now ours.

Keiichi screams, slams the phone down, and nervously looks around.

Kuno (Opening a door to a girls' dorm): Are those of us who work for Anime
Telephone and Telegraph proud of our accomplishments? Are we not proud of
the reliable, fast service we have wrought for you?

Nene and C-Ko scream and run off.

Shayla-Shayla (glowering): Get out, you HENTAI!!!! (proceedes to pursue Kuno
down the hall, flinging energy bolts at him.)

Kuno (Clothing is torn with a body cast visible underneath, he's bruised and
limping through the common area of girls' dorm): Are not our rates the
lowest? Are not our operators the friendliest? These are the things we truly
value at AT&T.

Nanami is talking on the phone when the line goes dead. After pressing the
hook button several times, she stares in horror as tentacles come out of the
handset. Nanami screams and runs off. The tentacles quickly became a youma,
which then rampaged through the girls dorm, much to the dismay of its occupants.

Kuno (Walking through a room that looks like Nasa's mission control center):
Our connectivity has reached 99% on the first call, a mark which we are
proud of. When you need a reliable phone company, pick Anime Telephone &
Telegraph.

Camera zooms in on an operator.

Mihoshi (smiling): AT&T. How may Mihoshi help you?