Eek!  They won't stop....

[Camera fades in to the dojo, focusing on the Iroha sign on the far 
wall]

Ranma(V.O.):  Hey, Akane, that was a pretty good sparring match.  You 
have any ideas on what we should do next?

Akane(V.O):  Well, we could....  (giggles)

Ranma(V.O.):  A---Akane!  What... What are you doing?  (Gasps)  Wow... 
That feels good...

[Horse whinnies]

Akane(V.O.):  Oh... Ran... Ma?  What's that horse doing here?  And who 
is that man?

Man(V.O.):  I'm the TROJAN MAN!!!  I'm here to help bring joy and 
happiness to all couples with Trojan condoms, America's favorite 
condoms!

Ranma(V.O.):  Ummm... Thanks, but we'll pass...

Akane(V.O.): Yeah...  We know how shoddy everything else that comes out 
of America is, so we'll stick with our own, Japanese based condoms.

Trojan Man(V.O.):  But... But...

Ranma(V.O.):  We rely on a name we can trust.

Akane(V.O):  NERV brand condoms.  When you need the strength of an AT 
Field.

(I must give credit where credit is due, and that entire NERV condom 
thing was Andrew Huang's idea.  I didn't ask him if I could use it, 
because this was originally supposed to be a Trojan commercial, but I 
felt a compulsive desire to work Eva into it anyway.  So, I hope he 
won't be offended, and that he will spare my little, insignificant life. 
 Please?)
-- 
JD Farber
email: sabreb@erols.com
ICQ: 3378089

To Touch is to Heal.
To Hurt is to Steal.
If you wanna kiss the Sky,
Better learn how to kneel.

On your knees, boy.