Lurker-san, you've created a monster...

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and the product and commercial spoofed below are all
copyrights of their respective creators and all distributors of their work.

Camera directions within the runes of aged Cthul... umm... no. They're in
[].

****

[Open on a shot of the Tendo Dojo. Ranma is walking out the front door, and
makes it halfway down the path before Ryoga leaps over the wall.]

Ryoga: Ranma! At last I've found you... but what are you doing in Hokkaido?

[Ranma laughs.]

Ranma: This is Nerima.

Ryoga: Don't try and confuse me, Ranma! We'll settle this once and for all!

[Ranma looks unimpressed.]

Ranma: Like the last ten times, pig-boy?

[Ryoga begins fuming with rage.]

Ryoga: This time you will be MINE, Ranma!

[Ranma sighs.]

Ranma: Okay. Meet me in the dojo... the new construction's still under
warranty.

[Ranma turns to go, and Ryoga yells after him.]

Ryoga: And don't even THINK about running away this time, Ranma! If you do,
I'll KILL you next time we meet!

[Cut to the inside of the dojo. Ranma sits down and looks at a conveniently
located wall clock. It's 8:00 in the morning.]

[Cut to a shot of Ryoga hacking his way through incredibly thick brush. We
can hear wildlife in the background.]

Ryoga (thought): When did the Tendos' yard get so overgrown?

[Back to the inside of the dojo. Ranma's still waiting. It's 1:00 in the
afternoon.]

[Cut to a shot of Ryoga wandering down a foggy street. In the background,
the fog has lifted enough so that Big Ben is visible. Everyone Ryoga passes
is giving him a wide berth.]

Ryoga: I didn't know Japan had so much fog...

[Back to the inside of the dojo. It's 7:00 at night. Ranma's stomach
rumbles, and he reaches into a pocket of his pants.]

Announcer (v.o.): Not going anywhere for a while? Unwrap a Snickers.

[Ranma proceeds to do just that, and breaks off a piece to pop in his mouth
as the camera zooms in.]

Announcer (v.o.): Peanuts, caramel, nougat... the energy you need for a duel
to the death.

[Cut to a white placard.]

PLACARD (and announcer v.o.): Snickers. Why wait?

[Cut to a shot of an ice field with winds howling. Ryoga is standing in the
middle, a look of pure rage on his face.]

Ryoga: RANNNNNNNNMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Cut to a shot of the dojo. It's dark, and Ranma is sleeping on the floor.]

[Fade to black.]

*****

I am having WAY too much fun here.

--G. Falconar