This is the last one. I hope this is the last one. Kami-sama PLEASE let it
be the last one...

Disclaimers: Ranma 1/2 and the product spoofed are copyrights of their
respective creators and all distributors of their work.

Camera directions are in )(*^#@$(*^*&#%(*^)#^$)($)(%^*)^#(*&^%*#^%$&*%#...
umm... brackets, they're in brackets. Like these: [].

*****

[Open on a shot of a street in Nerima. Ranma and Ryoga are simply glaring at
each other, and then they rush into battle, fists and feet flying. Ryoga's
voice overlays the fight.]

Ryoga (v.o.): By all accounts, I should be a fairly happy man. I've found a
beautiful woman who loves me, even when I'm a pig... maybe because I can
turn into a pig... who is willing to wait for me forever, if it should come
to that. Akari loves me unconditionally, and I'm not ashamed to say I look
forward to the marriage she says will take place one day.

[Ryoga breaks free of the melee, and leaps a few steps away, cupping his
hands.]

Ryoga (v.o.): But when your most powerful move is based on depression...

Ryoga: Shi shi hokodan!

[Instead of the usual torrent of chi, a small yellow ball forms between
Ryoga's hands and dissipates quickly.]

Ryoga (v.o.): Happiness is not the safest thing in the world.

[The Moko Takabisha that Ranma had shot to counter Ryoga's attack smashes
into him, flinging him back into a wall. The wall cracks from the force of
the impact.]

Ryoga (v.o.): That's why I take industrial strength Sufferin.

[Ryoga pulls out a blue-labeled bottle with yellow type. He shakes a few
pills into his hand, and swallows them.]

Ryoga (v.o.): Sufferin gives me the angst and despair I need to take down my
toughest opponents.

[Ryoga climbs to his feet, glaring at a grinning Ranma.]

Ryoga: I am only half a man... and I can only be close to Akane in my cursed
form. Akane... if Akari finds out, she'll hate me forever... I don't deserve
someone as nice as she is... as though I could ever hope to find my way back
to her.... The world is a dark and lonely place.

[Tears are streaming down Ryoga's cheeks, and he's surrounded by a raging
yellow aura.]

Ryoga: SHI SHI HOKODAN!

[A veritable torrent of chi streams from Ryoga's hands, totally smashing
through the Moko Takabisha Ranma tries to counter with. Ranma is flung out
of sight by the force of the blast. Ryoga, smiling, walks off, as a large
picture of the bottle fades on screen. (The bottle looks exactly like a
Bufferin bottle, with the exception of the name.)]

Announcer (v.o.): Sufferin. For when you need to feel the pain.

*****

And that does it. I hope. If not, there will be more tomorrow...

Someone help me. Please...

Curse you, Lurker!

--G. Falconar