I've got better things to do, but they're not this much FUN!

Disclaimers: Ranma 1/2 and the Clio-winning ad campaign I'm spoofing are the
copyrights of their respective owners and all distributors of their work.

Camera directions are in [].

****

[Open on a shot of the Tendo living room. Ranma is lounging on the couch,
and there's no sign of anyone else in the house. The shojis leading outside
are open to let a breeze in... and something else. A little gray kitten
trots in and gives a plaintive 'mew'. Ranma leaps up from the couch and
stares at the kitten, fear in his eyes. He begins backing away.]

Ranma: Nice k...k...kitty. Good k...k...kitty.

[The kitten mews again and begins walking toward Ranma, who backs away,
knocking over a chair and a table in the process. He manages to catch the
vase that was on the table and set it down on the carpet. The kitten
continues walking toward Ranma, whose eyes go wide. He bolts.]

Ranma (thoughts): The kitchen... if there's enough time...

[Ranma races into the kitchen, fumbles through a cupboard, and grabs a pale
gray china bowl. He sets it down on the kitchen floor and opens the
refrigerator. The kitten, meanwhile, has taken a few hesitant steps and is
peeking around the corner of the kitchen.]

[Ranma shuts the refrigerator door, a carton of milk clenched in one hand.
He leans over the bowl, tips the carton... and a sum total of three drops
come out. The kitten, meanwhile, has caught sight of the carton and is
racing toward the bowl. As Ranma turns to search through the refrigerator
again, the kitten tries to brake itself on the smooth floor but succeeds
only in sliding into Ranma's leg.]

Ranma: C...c...c...c...

[Fade to a familiar white-on-black placard, over which we hear Ranma's
neko-yowl.]

Announcer (v.o.): Got milk?

*****

And that's another one. I don't think there will be any more, at least not
until tomorrow.

--G. Falconar