This one was *very* rough; you'll find a whole bunch of corrections
below but probably not *everything*. I really do suggest proofreading
it at least once more next time; it helps more than you think.

When I managed to look beyond the bad commating, though, I found some
*very* WAFFy waff, and really no big problems beyond the technicalities.
Once you have that corrected, this one'll be simply great.

I'd help you with a name, if I wasn't hopeless with coming up with them
myself. One suggestions is to browse through your record collection;
I usually end up stealing a fitting song title.

	Pre-dawn in the tendou dojo.  A traditional Japanese room, floored 
with tatami and outfitted with shoji doors.  Ranma is lying on his back with
one arm draped over his eyes and the other sprawled at a 90 degree angle 

>from his body.  Genma preferring to sleep as a panda, since it is so much 

Genma, preferring (...) panda since

warmer, is curled up about a meter from Ranma facing away from him, snoring 
loudly.  Ranma miraculously enough, has managed to stay male throughout the

Ranma, miraculously

night, but has however, managed  to kick the covers off of himself, and is 

has, however

shivering slightly on his futon.  The window is open to the crisp spring-like
air, and the beginnings of the daily chirping of the neighborhood birds can 

IMO, just "of neighbourhood birds"

	Genma raises a massive paw to scratch an itch idly in his sleep, 
letting it fall with a *thump*.  While not a loud noise, with Ranma's 
life-time of training, it was enough to wake him instantly.
Sitting bolt upright, his eyes snapped open, his hands up in a 

AND WE HAVE A TENSE SHIFT!

You were going in present tense up to this point; IMO a less pleasant
read than past tense but not necessarily bad. Here, however, you've
gone into past tense. I don't care much *which* you choose, as long
as you *do* choose. Unless it stabilizes, I won't comment on tense
below, but do give it a thorough look-over, eh?

defensive position, and his heart beat wildly as his still groggy 
mind and eyes scanned the room for the unknown threat.  Glancing over 
at Genma realization hit him, "Stupid old man!" he thought, glaring at 
his father, " he just lives to torment me, "he mumbled. 

father. "He lives just to torment me," he
Other than the misplaced spaces, the first is a thought and the second
is speech. Also, many indicate thoughts like 'this' or _this_ or <this>
or distinguish it elsewise, to make it more obvious; your choice of
whether to do that or not.

	Ranma debated with himself whether or not to attack his father for 
awaking him, or to try to go back to sleep, sleep won.  Rolling over he

sleep. Sleep won. Rolling over, he

His mind however was now wide awake and ready for action.  Rolling back to 

mind, however, was

lie flat on his back with a resigned *sigh*, Ranma allowed his thoughts to 
drift where he usually forbade them.  He started to think about the one thing
in his life that he had no control over, and had absolutely no idea how to 
deal with..............he thought of Akane.  Images and memories of her 

All those ten billion .s just look silly. Try a dash; "with - he".

flooded his mind in rapid fire, her beautiful smile, her cute haircut, every
detail of her face , mind and body, his minds eye traced every detail that 

face, mind and body. His mind's eye

he knew of her, and he blushed when he remembered just how much he knew, 
remembering their first encounter as opposite sexes.  How shocked he had 

"as opposite sexes" doesn't sound quite correct; they weren't opposite
sexes to each other and only Ranma was, er, opposite to himself.

been to see her out of her gi, and her turning out to be so.......well cute!

OK, I'd probably use dots there to, but you're still overdoing it.
so ... well, cute!

With another *sigh* Ranma let his fantasy of her speak to him, not really 

*sigh*, Ranma

	Drifting back to the night before in his thoughts, he winced as he
recalled it's outcome, smacking himself mentally, and cursing himself

its (...) mentally and

	::Early evening at the Tendou dojo, Soun and panda Genma are on the
porch playing GO as usual, and cheating as usual.  Nabiki in her trademark 
"lazy" clothes, IE short shorts and an off the shoulder halter top, is in a 
corner of the family room, doing her leg exercises, neither Akane nor Kasumi 
are anywhere to be seen. Ranma is outside in the yard next to the koi

That is more of a scene description out of a script than prose.

"In the early evening, at the Tendou dojo, Sound and Ganma were on the
porch playing Shogi as usual" ... see what I mean? Though it could
probably be written more smoothly than that.

Right, you switched back to present tense, too.

right steel-like fists into the rope wrapped part.  The wind is blowing
faintly carrying the scent of flowers and the promise of a beautiful 

faintly, carrying

spring, a fish in the koi pond leapt, and the wind chimes ring.

spring. A fish

Shattering this perfect moment of tranquillity came the feminine cry of 
"Dinner's ready!"  Ranma without missing a beat recoiling his left fist

>from a punch, changed the right strike to a chop, his palm facing upwards

Recoiling his left fist from a punch without missing a beat, Ranma
changed the right strike to a chop

and his hand like a knife edge, the pole looked unaffected for a moment, 

edge. The pole

	The rest of the family converging at the table as well, Nabiki
plopping herself unceremoniously at her spot, Soun taking his place at the
head of the table with dignity, leaving Genma the opportunity while his 
back was turned to move a few of the game pieces.  Genma taking his seat
next to Soun grabbed a kettle of hot water seemingly out of nowhere and
poured it on himself, changing back to his human form, but most importantly 
gaining the hands with which he could feed himself the fastest.  Ranma

Taking his seat next to Soun, Genma grabbed

Really, though, I don't think Genma would take the time away from eating
to change; who knows, his son might steal the food while he's pouring
water!

moving his head back and forth quickly scanning the room for something,
voiced his growing dread hesitantly, " W- where's  ...A-akane?"
	"Why, she's right here." Kasumi said coming rounding the kitchen 

Be very, very afraid. ^_^

Roughly where in the timeline does this story take place? In any case,
I think Ranma'd be more likely to say something like "Hey, where's the
tomboy?" Otherwise, they might guess ... err, I mean *think* he
cares. ^_^

entrance, gesturing behind her.  As Kasumi started setting everyone's
places Ranma glanced over her shoulder, Akane was standing sort of uneasily,

plates, I presume? "Setting his place" sounds stupid, anyway.

shoulder. Akane

and was clutching a steaming plate, containing he could only guess, was 
some sort of food substance... hoping against hope, Ranma looked back at 

containing, he could only guess, some sort

	A sickly grimace appeared on his face, as his brain sorted rapid 
fire through a list of possible excuses he could use to leave the table.  
"Akane has been working really hard all evening, Ranm�" she pronounced the

Ranma." She

Who is "she"? Kasumi, I presume, but that's not made fully clear.

Akane unnoticed by the rest of the family still kneeling beside Ranma 
clenched her tiny hands into fists and felt her whole body go ridged. Her 
face animated with hope. "I hope, I hope, I hope, please, please, please, 

Unnoticed by the rest of the family and still kneeling beside Ranma,
Akane clenched her tiny hands into fists and felt her whole body go rigid.

please," she thought to herself.   As he raised the parcel of food to his 
mouth, a collective gasp was heard, as everyone (except Genma, who at the
moment was moving his hands so fast feeding his face, that they were 

face that

becoming a blur.) held their breath.  Placing the food in his mouth he let 

blur) held

it rest on his tongue, trying to use will power to swallow it.  But the 

it ... but

	Sitting up he politely pushed the plate away from himself mumbling, 
"thank you Akane it is  errr, good, but I'm not feeling to well all of a 
sudden, I think I'll skip dinner, and um *with his hand behind his head* and

something like:

himself, mumbling. "Thank you Akane, it is, errr, good, but I'm not feeling
to well all of sudden, I think I'll skip dinner, and, umm," he said,
holding a hand behind his head, "and go see if Ryouga is around anywhere."

go see if Ryouga is around anywhere."  "At least I know he can eat this 
stuff," Ranma thought to himself.  Ranma, as he moved to get up, completely 

"As he moved to get up, he completely"; it's kinda obvious it's Ranma.

"Uuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnncuteeeeeeeeeeee!"  ::

...

Ah, those "::" are flashback markers? Really, especially when it's a
whole scene, just dump 'em. It's pretty clear anyway.

	Snapping back to himself, Ranma again mentally smacked himself for
his knee-jerk-foot-in-the-mouth reaction that Akane's cooking seemed to

 the

bring out in him.  He knew damn well in his secret heart, that she was 

well, in

trying so hard to cook for HIM, and if not out of, L-love, then out of a

of L-love

genuine wanting

"desire" would be a better word.

	Muttering to himself, Ranma rolled back till his lower body, and 

back unto his (or something else more suitable)
body and

legs were off the floor, then placing his hands astride his head, he 

then, placing

reversed his momentum, and pushed with his hands at the same time, 
effectively launching himself onto his feet, perfectly balanced and poised 
as usual.  Ranma headed off in the direction of the bath, intent on soaking 
away his worries as well as any dirt.  Passing Genma on the way out he 
swiftly kicked the Panda in the butt. *Smirking to himself* Ranma walked

out. 

Err; why do you keep referencing some actions with **? This is prose,
for gods sake, not some script.
"Ranma smirked to himself as he walked out."

Genma still sound asleep, simply scratched the injured area absently and 

Genma, still

	Silent as a ninja, Ranma practiced his stealth as he slinked down 
the hallway.  Not one to ever tell the old man, but Ranma did listen to the 
things that Genma said, and while he knew that most of it was just his 

Though he'd never tell the old man, Ranma did listen to what Genam said,

stupid rambling, some things Genma said rang true.  One of them being his 
saying, " A true martial artist can turn any experience, no matter how 
difficult or unpleasant into training...."  Ranma early in life had taken 
that to heart, running along fence tops to practice his balance, and in 

unpleasant, into training...

Early in life, Ranma had taken that to heart

liked to practice stealth, or ninjitsu.

Saying that "practice ninjutsu" and "practice stealth" are equal is
grossly wrong; I'm no martial arts experts but I do know enough (mostly
from some obsessed friends) to tell that *that* just sounds stupid.
If you just want to say he's training his stealth, well, just say that,
then. There's no point in trying to make Ranma a Ninja. If you really
want to be more advanced, I'm pretty sure there's a name for the
specific art of stealth (whatever-jutsu, "jutsu" being "technique");
you could try some MA-newsgroup or so.

	However he froze in his exercise as he caught out of the corner of
his eye, the blue woodcut duck scrawled with Akane's name hanging on her 

However, he froze in his exercise as out of the corner of his eye, he
caught the blue

door. Impulse overcame reason, and Ranma ever so quietly slinked up to her 

reason, and ever so quietly, Ranma slinked

door, and quietly let himself in.  "Just to check on her, and make sure 

Try not to use quietly again already.

Mr. P isn't in there" he told himself.  Lowering his eyes to the floor as 
he did so, in case Akane while sleeping, had managed to uncover any...
sensitive areas.  He closed the door behind himself, and just stood there,
at the doorway listening to her breathe.  Smirking inwardly to himself he 

Akane, while

Erm, that's a bi-sentence without a main-sentence. "He lowered his eyes",
or "areas, he closed"

doorway, listening to her breathing.

thought, "She would kill me if she found me in her room just staring at her."
Ever so slowly, he raised his eyes, starting at the foot of her bed.  
Where her feet were, he raised his gaze, noting how unlike him she was, in

bed, where her feet were. He raised

that she usually managed to keep her covers on herself while sleeping, 

sleeping.

" I guess she isn't violent all the time," he thought.  With relief his 
gaze reached her torso, and he noted that she was fully clothed in her 

Lucky Ranma, eh? Or unlucky, depending on your POV. ^_^

yellow pajamas with the pigs on them, letting out the breath he hadn't even
known he was holding with a *whew*  he froze, terrified that the sound had

them. Letting

awakened her.  Glancing at her face he relaxed as he saw her eyes still 
closed.  He also smirked outwardly as he noted the absence of "P-chan", and
saw that instead she was cuddling one of her spare pillows to her tightly,
he also noticed that she was mumbling as she slept. Curious he crept closer

tightly. He also (...) Curious, he

	Taking a seat gingerly on the edge of her bed. He took the time to 

bed, he

listened to what she was saying, most of it was too garbled to discern, 

saying. Most

but a few bits and pieces managed to come through.  ......" R-ranma.....
.......why?!.......what ...........how can I?...............oh Ranma.....I
...............don't you know.............I L.........," rolling over the
last thing she was trying to say was lost into the pillow.  To himself,
"She's, ...........she's dreaming about...........ME??!"  Listening again

Again, go easy on the .s; three is enough to prove your point, pun
intended.

	A slow grin spread across his face as he heard that sigh, it was

sight. It

the most beautiful sound he had ever heard in his entire life!  Reaching

Both "ever" and "in his entire life" is a bit excessive.

down hesitantly he moved his hand to her head, and softly stroked her 

hesitantly, he

up from her bed, not making a sound as he did so, he opened her door, all

so. He

the while keeping his gaze on her, and let himself out, just as quietly as
when he had entered, all Akane did was roll over again, and continue 

entered. All

	Now even more out of balance than before Ranma desperately needed 

before, Ranma

to unwind.  Intent on relaxing in the bath for awhile he entered the 
changing room, and shucked off his boxers and tee shirt he had slept in,

room and

the boxers

cooking?"  He muttered to himself while scrubbing, after awhile the 

he (...) scrubbing. After a while, the

	An unknown amount of time passed, Ranma shutting out all outside 
influence, and shutting out even his own thoughts.  Letting the warmth 

influence, even his own thoughts.

of the furo soak into himself, ever since Jusenkyo, Ranma had hated 

into him. Ever

being cold, mostly because cold now to him meant changing the warmer the

changing. The

better as far as Ranma was concerned.  Ever so slightly almost 

slightly, almost

hesitantly Ranma raised hishead up, then his torso out of the 

hesitatingly, Ranma raised his head, and then his torso, out of

Looking much calmer he climbs up the steps leading out of the furo.  

climbed

Steam emanating off his now almost pink skin, in the chilled air of the
much cooler bathroom.  Wrapping a towel around his waist, he padded out 

Another loose bi-sentence.
In the chilled air of the much cooler bathroom, steam emanated

	Sliding open the shoji he entered the Tendou guestroom made into 

shoji, he

an almost-permanent residence with the Saotome presence in it. Moving over

Saotomes

to the dresser where he kept his clothes, no longer quieting his movements
since he didn't care if he woke the old man up or not, and besides he could

not - and besides, his father could

sleep through anything.   Quickly dressing himself, choosing his 
traditional outfit, but with a ivory white version of his Chinese silk 
sleeveless shirt, with gold ties in front and an ebony black interior. 

That's *TWO* bi-sentences without a main one!
Quickly dressing himself, he choose

with - with; you might try to reword slightly

	Now suitably dressed for the day.  Ranma's stomach rumbled,
reminding him that not only did he skip dinner last night, (due to the 
fact that he was in low earth orbit, playing human satellite) but he needed

night (due (...) satellite), but

breakfast as well.  He steeled himself against the hunger however since he

hunger, however, since

knew that Kasumi although usually first up in the household, wouldn't have

Kasumi, although

If he can't even prepare breakfast for himself, it's understandable if
he thinks twice about marrying Akane. ^_^

breakfast ready for at least another hour and a half, half an hour after 
she woke up as usual.  So he headed downstairs to think.

usual, so

	Walking down the stairs a mischievous grin appeared on Ranma's face
and he hopped up onto the banister and with his indoor house slippers on,

As he walked down the stairs, a mischevious (...) face, and (...) banister
with

sliding down the rest of the way.  Reaching bottom much faster. "Heh, still

way, reaching the bottom

got it!" he remarked to himself.  Ranma usually refrained from any 
acrobatics in the house, since that one time when he had plowed into 
Kasumi almost knocking her over, when he was leaping down the stairs,
since his code of honour would never allow him to injure anyone whom
could not defend themselves, even accidentally, especially a woman, 
and especially someone as sweet and innocent as Kasumi.  Ranma started

over when (...) stairs, his code of honour not allowing him to
injure anyone who could not 

And that sentence gives me a headache. Do try to break it up somehow.

	Ranma's wandering lead him back to the shoji again, and he opened
them this time.  Stopping just to look.  He had intended to go to the 

time, stopping

	His heart froze though as he shifted his gaze to his left and 
beheld what was there.  Akane was sitting on a rock right next to his! 
In the same kind of meditating trance that he had assumed moments earlier.

Akane? Meditating on a rock? Right, that'll be the day. ^_^

"She must have come down when I was meditating," he thought to himself. 
Taking another opportunity to stare, Ranma allowed his eyes to play over 
her delicate features.  Her eyes were shut, and fluttering slightly, her

slightly, and her

hair had obviously just been brushed, as it was shining vibrantly in the 
early morning light, the light bouncing off of her hair making it seem 

the light that bounced off it making it

alive.  Her skin    (all that was visible to Ranma outside of her standard 

skin (what was visible

red belt clad gi, anyway,) was covered with goose pimples, reacting to the 
cool morning air, he supposed.

air, he

	Akane had come out of her own trance the second Ranma had yawned
and stretched, some instinct though had urged her to remain as she was.

stretched, but some instinct had

So she stayed motionless, her back straight and her legs crossed 

So, she

" Why is he looking at me like that?  Can it be oh, can it be that he 
really doesn't think that I am all that uncute?"  Her breath came in 

Ahum. "WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME THAT WAY, PERVERT?"
...but the mood is so nice here, I'll let it slide. ^_^

	Finally she couldn't stand it any longer, and playacting she 

"playacting"?

playacting, she

imitated his movements from earlier.  Opening her eyes she met Ranma's 

eyes, she

early, A-Akane?"  , " W-What are you looking at?" he asked.  Akane blushed

Breaking up the speak like that looks stupid. If you need to use a
second verb, you'd have to have a paragraph break. (A-Akane?" <p> "W-what")

	"Well since she's already up, and out here," Ranma thought to 
himself.  "Um A-Akane?" He voiced hesitantly.  "Y-Yes" she answered. 

he

Smacking himself mentally, Ranma forced the words out in a rush, 
" Wouldyouliketogopracticewithme?" Once done he exhaled rather loudly,
*whew*  He thought, "Well, at least she can't say I never offered,"
he fully expected a sarcastic remark or her refusal.  He stood up on 

"*whew*," he thought, "well (...) offered." He fully (...) refusal,
standing up on

	Ranma stood above her looking down at her with those blue-gray 
eyes of his.  "He is waiting for an answer!" her mind shouted at her.  
She was however, too confused to respond intelligently. "Why is he being

was, however

and powerful martial artist, those years hadn't prepared him to interact
with other people.  Slowly and hesitantly Ranma extended his hand to Akane.

I do believe you've already made that point once. ^_-;;;

	Also as hesitantly, and overriding her pride, Akane extended her

Equally hesitantly, overriding

hand, allowed Ranma to help her to her feet.  His touch was electric on

hand, allowing

her skin, Ranma tightening the muscles in his arm, effortlessly lifted her

skin. Ranma, tightening

to her feet.  Embarrassed he dropped her hand and turned his back to her 

Embarrassed, he

and began to walk in the direction of the dojo.  Partly because he really 
did need to train, and partly to hide the rampaging blush spreading over 
his features.  Akane as well was still standing where he had lifted her, 

Akane, as well, was

also blushing furiously.  " I think that that is the first time Ranma has

blushing just as furiously.

Unsteadily she walked on her wobbly legs to the dojo.  Peering inside she

Unsteadily, she

saw Ranma was already running through a kata, warming up. 

she saw Ranma already running

	So she decided to just watch for the moment.  Akane realized that 
she had never really watched Ranma when he practiced.she was usually too

practiced - she
 

busy being jealous of his skill, or busy trying to beat him up for his 
latest insult.  "Wow!" She thought, "He moves like a dancer..." Watching 
Ranma move through a simple for him, but extremely acrobatic and difficult
kata for her, she couldn't help but admire his skill.  About five minutes 

Watching Ranma move through a kata that through simple for him would be
extremely acrobatic and difficult for her, she

later Ranma finished his warm-up kata, and facing the dojo shrine bowed.  

later, Ranma (...) and, facing (...) shrine, bowed

	"C-Can you teach me how to do that?" she asked.  Ranma now in

Ranma, now

familiar territory replied more confidently, "Sure Akane, but first we

Sure, Akane

	"Want me to help you, Akane?" He asked.  Although Ranma had never

he

actually helped any of the other all to few students he had trained, to 

all-too-few (...) trained to

	"S-Sure...." Akane whispered still facing the floor.  "Oh my god he
is going to touch me again," she thought as her heart leapt into her throat
and her adrenaline level rose several levels.  Shifting so that her back 
was facing him, she leaned forward again, and Ranma, needing no further 
encouragement placed his hands on her back, and applied pressure.  The only

encouragement, placed

person that he had ever partner stretched with was Genma, so he was a 

partner-stretched

	"It's okay Ranma just be a little more gentle with me okay?  I am 

okay, Ranma, just (...) me, okay?

not as strong as a mule, ya know," she smirked, making him blush using one

...and this is where Ranma goes saying "YES YOU ARE!" and the readers
collectively kill the author for spoiling the mood.
Well, except luckily, you didn't. ^_^

of his own insults against him.  But inside her head, her world was 
spinning!  In her state of mind her knee-jerk reaction to his clumsiness

mind, her

	Moving woodenly Ranma moved back into position behind Akane, and 
placed his hands again onto her back.  Applying the gentlest amount of 
pressure, he started to stretch her out, "His hands are trembling!" She 

Lucky Ranma none of the fathers come in, eh? I don't know which would
be worse; "I'm so glad you're getting along!" or "Why are you touching
my daughter like that!". ^_^

out. "His (...) trembling!" she

thought to herself, although the now kitten like force he was exerting 

herself. The kitten-like 

wasn't really enough to help her stretch, she didn't really care at the 

stretch, but

moment, just the fact that Ranma's hands where on her, and that he was 
being so thoughtful, and careful with her...she wanted to cry!

thoughtful

	Ranma moving outside normal stretching protocol, still crouching
above her, started to kneed the muscles in her shoulders.  He had no idea

Moving outside normal stretching protocol, still crouching above
her, Ranma started to kneed

	Ranma paused a minute when he heard that, then smiling stopped his 

smiling, stopped

tender administrations, before he lost his last vestige of control.  

WAAAH! WAAAAAAH! ^_^

Nudging her gently to a sitting position, he continued helping her stretch, 
as she leaned over to her left and right sides, stretching sideways now that

stretch as she

she was done stretching horizontally.  The sensations rapidly were fading 

The sensations were rapidly fading

>from her body.   Akane took a deep breath and let it out slowly, commanding

slowly. Commanding

her body to behave itself she put all her attention into stretching, as 

itself, she

	"Well I think that you are ready now Akane...want to begin?" Ranma,
letting the instructor in him take control, stood up and again reached down
to help Akane to her feet, not even hesitating this time Akane stretched 

feet. Not

had been evoking in her.  While standing however her clumsy nature reared 

standing, however, her

its ugly head, and she tripped!  

have crashed right into the weapons rack!  Seeing one of the naked blades
of the katanas gleaming coldly in the early morning air!  

Another loose bi-sentence.

	Ranma, with his heart still racing, simply held her.  Not really 

her, not

caring what anyone would think if they walked in and saw them like that. 
Akane's control finally snapped and she broke down crying!  Sobbing a 

crying, sobbing

	Ranma, however much as he was enjoying holding his fianc�e, was

Most people skip the � in fiancee, since it can screw up when not
everyone is using the same character set.

starting to grow uncomfortable with her tears though.  Whispering he 

Whispering, he

asked, "Akane...Akane, hey Akane, are you okay?"  Wanting to check her 
for any injuries but holding back since she seemed okay, and he didn't 
want her to think he was a pervert.  

He wanted to check her for any injurious but held back since she seemed
okay and he didn't want

and gently he again demonstrated the mastery of his body, as only using
his stomach muscles he raised them both into a sitting position.  Turning

and again, he gently demonstrated (...) body, using only his stomach
muscles to raise them both (...) position, turning

	"T-Thank you Ranma, I mean it thank you."  She smiled her beautiful
smile at him, and Ranma lost all lucid control over his mind. "Y-Your 

You're

welcome." He replied, wanting to say two very different words.  Standing 

welcome," he

artist, and independent...stand up!!" pride snapped back.  "Yeah?!  Well 

Pride

you are a freak of nature, now go jump in a Koi pond and cool off!" emotion

Emotion

something."  Pride was at a loss on what she could tear in emotion. Pride
however eventually won. ^_^

Pride, however, eventually

And please, skip the "^_^".

	"R-Ranma, "she said almost apologetically, "Um, I can walk fine

Ranma," she

now, thanks." "Oh," Ranma said, looking slightly disappointed.  Carefully
he set her down onto her feet, keeping his arms around her waist, almost 

Carefully, he

normal dances, or say, the funky chicken! Hesitantly she broke the embrace
though, turning her back to him, she looked out the window, and noted that

Hesitantly, though, she broke

back to him with her composure back in place, Akane waded a little into 
unfamiliar territory, she asked Ranma for help.

territory - she asked
(or "territory - asking")

	"Well are you ready to teach me how to do that kata now?" She voiced

she

shoulder width apart, and her legs slightly bent, with her arms folded behind
her back.  

bent, arms fold behind

	"Um, sure Akane...." Ranma said, " Where do you want to begin?"
he asked. "Why at the beginning of course, silly."  Smiling as she said so,

Cut "he asked".

Why, at

	"I never realized how patient Ranma could be, he is a great teacher!"
She thought.  Ranma was having the time of his life, not only had Akane not

she

life - not

imagined doing said dance on Genma's sleeping head!  While he was doing his 
best to stay focused on training though, only about 25% of his attention was

cut the "though"

geared to the form, the rest of his attention was staring at Akane.  

cut "was"

	"She really does have a kind of grace when doing this kind of stuff."
He thought.  Finally they reached the end of the kata, and Ranma went to the

stuff," he

north wall and sat down against it, "Okay Akane, now with no help from me 

wall, sitting down against it. "Okay, Akane, now

lets see you run through it by yourself. " He said with a silly grin on his

yourself," he

	Akane got a serious look on her face, and resolving herself to do her

and, resolving

	Ranma sat there in stony silence, amazed at how quickly she had
picked it up, "She must have really been paying attention to me..." He 

he

thought.  He had already noted several small errors in her form, but he 
stopped himself from saying anything and thus kept his foot out of his 
mouth, besides she really was doing great!  Finishing she bowed to the 

mouth - besides, she (...) Finishing, she

shrine, and then giggling she bowed to Ranma as well.

then, giggling, she

angry, "You were great Akane!"  He said, "Much better than any other first 

he

	"Thank you Sensei!" Akane grinned!  Then an impulse grabbed her, 

you, Sensei!" Akane grinned, then an

and she launched a snap kick at Ranma's head.  Ranma of course dodged

easily. 

Ranma, of course, dodged

"Heh ya wanna play dontcha?!" He taunted.  Akane grinning crazily, launched

Heh, ya wanna play, dontcha? (...) Akane, grinning

Ranma adopted a more instructor like stance, and started to coach her. 

instructor-like

	Getting into the spirit of things, Ranma threw soft kicks and a few
punches at her.  Akane instead of trying to imitate Ranma's speed, simply 
blocked his techniques.  "Harder!" She fairly screamed. Wanting him to 

Instead of trying to imitate Ranma's speed, Akane simply blocked his
techniques.

she fairly screamed, wanting

actually spar with her for once.  She increased the intensity of her attacks,
trying to goad Ranma's anger so that he would attack her and stop his 
constant dodging.  But Ranma's training had conditioned him to accept pain, 

dodging, but

slight red, Akane launched a suicide attack at Ranma, aimed right at his 

a ... SUICIDE ATTACK? Sounds a bit extreme.

	So Ranma did the only thing that he could do, he shifted his body so

do; he

	"Shoot!" Akane said to herself as she ran over to him, "He was 
supposed to block that...why did he just take it?"  Kneeling besides him 
she looked down at the mostly unconscious Ranma, he was moaning slightly, 

him, she (...) Ranma. He was

Ranma said forcing a grin.  Noticing her gaze was still on the ground, 

said, forcing

gently Ranma reached his hand down to her chin and lifted her gaze to meet

Ranma gently reached his

his.  Showing her his eyes, which at the moment were filled with something

his, showing

	"Oh Ranma I'm sorry!" She sobbed as again she collapsed into his 

Oh, Ranma (...) sorry!" she sobbed, as again, she

"Shh shh shh" He tried to comfort her making funny sounding cooing noises.

he

"It's okay Akane I'm fine"  

okay, Akane, I'm fine!"

	Mentally slapping herself, Akane forced herself to get under control.
Sucking her breaths in slightly and her chest heaving, her emotions running
rampant through her mind and body Akane just sat there for a minute.  "You 

Sucking her breaths in slightly and heaving her chest, her emotions ran
rampant through her mind and body as Akane just sat there for a minute.

know you really do need to work on your control...." 

know, you

"But I am a martial artist too ya know." I can take care of myself

know. I (...) myself!"

"Yes but..." Ranma tried to argue, but all of the arguments that he wanted 

Yes, but

to use right now, sounded stupid in his head. 

now sounded

	"Besides I have seen you fight girls before." Ticking off her 

Besides, I

fingers as she went, "You've fought Ukyo, Shampoo-several times and you

went, she continued, "You've

fought Kodachi as well...."  Grinning smugly at him Akane waited for a

him, Akane

	Ranma knew he was trapped. "Y-Yes that is true, but I don't think I 
could live with myself if...if I hurt you A-Akane...."Ashamed Ranma looked 

Ashamed, Ranma

"His mind trailed off as Akane seemed to collapse into him, they were now 

him. They

throwing herself into him had knocked him down.  Tentatively Ranma reached

Tentatively, Ranma

	Akane was in heaven, she curled up into Ranma's side and pulled 

heaven. She

back her head a little so that she could look at her fianc�e's handsome 

I believe the male one just gets one 'e' ("fiance").

	His touch was like fire!  Akane's whole body felt like it was 
glowing!  Where he was resting his hands on her back, she could have sworn

glowing.

she was getting burned, her back arched involuntarily towards him as his 
lips brushed hers, and she faintly *moaned* her assent again.  Ranma then 
leaned in and kissed her closed mouthed.  His lips were somewhat moist and

mouth.

the electric sensations he was provoking in her were making her blush 
furiously and she tightened her grip on him. *moaning* into his still 

made her blush furiously as she tightened (...) Moaning into

closed mouth, Akane opened her lips slightly prompting without words for 

slightly, prompting

Ranma to go further. Ranma in turn parted his lips slightly, and Akane with

Ranma, in turn, parted

	Akane however noticed the position of the sun, and the fear of 

Akane, however, noticed

	"Shhhhh" he said gently not wanting to spoil the moment.  He turned

gently, not

her so that she was facing away from him, and placing his back against the

and, placing

wall he pulled her back to sit in between his legs.  Gently he pulled her

wall, he (...) Gently, he

to lay back against his chest, lovingly he ran his fingers through her 

chest, and he lovingly ran his

hair, and felt as she adjusted her gi modestly as she sat lying against

hair, feeling her adjust her gi modestly as she sat leaning against

him.  Their moment was shattered however when Kasumi's high pitched voice

shattered, however, when

could be heard from the direction of the house, which could only have 
Genma stumbling-falling down the stairs.  

only be Genma

	Akane leapt away from Ranma, and as he got up , they both just 
kind of stood there, neither sure how to end the moment nor if anything 
was necessary to say.   Akane still giddy and way to confused, with emotions

Akane, still

and feeling still running through her, simply smiled at Ranma and turned

feelings

her back to him and walked out of the dojo.  Ranma following suit, though 

him as she walked (...) Ranma followed suit, though

	Humming quietly to himself, Ranma walked down the stairs this time.
Pausing at the landing to simply watch his new family.  Genma as usual

time, pausing (...) family, Genma

trying to inhale everything, even the plates if he wasn't careful, Soun 
sitting at the head of the table with a toothbrush in his mouth reading the
morning paper. Nabiki yawning into her teacup and looking disheveled.  
Kasumi looking perfect as always sitting by Nabiki and refilling their 

paper, Nabiki (...) disheveled, Kasumi

plates and Akane sitting at her usual spot next to Ranma's eating daintily.

plates, and finally, Akane

With a grin Ranma waltzed into the room, and sat next to Akane, not saying

Akane. Not


---
Ronny Hedin, thark@swipnet.se, http://nabiki.newberry.edu/thark/
KotTF   -><-  "Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose."