Okay, everyone. Here's something I patched together from the recent thread
on the FFML. :)

----

Another day dawns in Nerima...

*CRASH* *BAM* *SLICE*

...and like all days in Nerima...

*BA-KOOM* *KLANG* *BLAST*

...today started with a fight.

"Tendou Akane, prepare to die!" screeched Kunou Kodachi, weilding her
ribbon and wearing a black leotard. She swiped at the afformentioned Tendou
sister, its deadly edge hissing as it cut through the air.

"Great! Here I actually thought I was going to make it on time! Silly me!"
Akane commented sarcastically, as she dropped to the ground and rolled
under Kodachi's Ribbon O' Death (patent pending) as it cleaved through a
telephone pole. She bounced up atop a retaining wall for some random
residence.

"Aiyah! Violent Girl no more bother Ranma! Shampoo *SMASH*!!" chirped
Shampoo as she peddled her bike after her prey. Pulling out a bonborii out
of Bimbospace, Shampoo, Chinese Amazon esq., she snapped her wrist and sent
it flying.

*DEMOLISH*

Akane yelped and jumped off the wall a moment before the bonborii turned it
into rubble. "Hey, you can _have_ that *pervert* for all I care!" retorted
the pursued girl as she landed atop a roof and took off.

"DIE!!" screamed a gymnast in a leotard, as she sent her ribbon...toward
Shampoo.

The Amazon barely had time to let out a surprised yelp and abandon her bike
as it was sent sailing toward Okinawa. "Aiyah! Psycho Gymnast Girl, what
you do?!" she asked angrily.

Kodachi let loose a round of her trademark Evil Bad Girl Laugh (tm),
"HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! What does it look like, forgien trash? I'd thought you'd
have more intelligence," the gynmast giggled. Shampoo did not take kindly
to this and snarled ferally.

"Psycho Gymnast Girl!" she called to the Kunou sister. "Shampoo like you to
meet... 'BUBBA'!" With this, Shampoo pulled out a large titanium reinforced
osmium bonborii with the name "BUBBA" stenciled on its side and jumped up
to face a startled Kodachi. "Batter up!" the Amazon shouted, and soundly
clocked Kodachi on the noggin' with Bubba, sending her reeling at Akane.

*CRASH*

Akane made a small leap, allowing a reeling Kodachi to pass beneath and
collide headfirst into a brick wall. "HOOHOHOHOHOHOOO!! What beautiful
blackbirds!" she managed to say before she took a small, involuntary nap.

Shampoo glanced to Kodachi, then turned back to Akane with a smile. "No
quite two bird with one stone, is close. Akane, I kill!" Shampoo overhead
slammed Bubba at Akane, who dodged just barely in time.

Akane sighed. "Okay, this is getting _extremely_ boring," she grumbled,
pulled out her Big Ass Mallet, and with a practiced move, slammed the
mallet down on the bonborii named "Bubba."

Mallet verses bonborii.

No contest.

"Aiyah! You kill Bubba!!" gasped a shocked Shampoo.

Akane grinned, "Alright! Payback!" Akane started taking swipes at Shampoo.
Of course, Akane forgot that BAMs of Female Righteousness are not very
effective against female targets, as Shampoo demonstrated with a swift kick.

A tear glistened in the corner of Shampoo's eye, and she looked extremely
pissed. "You kill Bubba! Shampoo kill you!!" she screamed in anguish.
Akane, suddenly fearful, backed up. Her fear escalled as she felt her back
contact a hard brick wall.

*KLANG*

A Kick-Ass Spatula flattened Shampoo. Akane blinked as Ukyou holding a pose
of her follow-through with her spatula swing. Ukyou looked up and smiled.
"Hi, Akane." She twisted the handle of her spatula.

*RIP*

Akane smiled sheepishly. "Thanks for the save, Ukyou," she breathed.

"Oh, you've got nothing to thank me for, Akane-chan," Ukyou beamed. Then
she raised her spatula. "Because I wanted to knock you out myself."

Akane groaned.

"No hard feelings, 'Kay?"

"Says the one weilding the spatula..."

"KILL!"

"Huh?" yelped the two. And then Ukyou disappeared in a cloud of dust,
complete with the sound of mortal kombat floating from the cloud.
Occaisionally, a body part would stick out before retreating back into the
cloud.

Ukyou's head popped out, along with an arm, a couple of bruises and a
despairate look. "AKANE!! HELP ME!! PLEASE!!" she screamed, reaching out to
her for hope of rescue.

Akane smiled cutely and replied, "'No hard feelings, 'Kay?'"

Ukyou wimpered as a pair of arms reached out, grabbed her shoulders and
tugged her back to the carnage.

"HOHOHOHOHO!!!" cackled a feminine, yet insane, voice. Akane swiveled
around to face a recovered Kodachi (with an icepack on her head). "I'm
baaaack!" she sang, and then twirled her ribbon.

Akane knew what to do then. "I'm goooone!" she sang in reply, and turned on
warp factor five. Kodachi bounced off in persuit, cackling all the way. The
cloud dissipated, revealing Shampoo and a battered Ukyou frozen in
mid-carnage looking at the disappearing pair.

"No fair, Crazy Psycho Girl! Shampoo want kill Akane!" She took off.

Ukyou used her spatula as a crutch to get to her feet. She proceeded to do
some chiropracy on herself (complete with painful-sounding cracks and
creaks). Good as new, she pursued the receeding trio, shouting, "Wait for
meeeee...."

****************

  PATCHWORK

By Wyrm

  CHAPTER 1:
    One Body

****************
6 HOURS LATER...
****************

Akane crouched on her knees, panting in great gasps. Around her, three
similarly winded girls also gasped for air. Six hours of straight running
does that to you. "Hey... *gasp* ...guys. What say we... *wheeze* ...call a
truce?"

"*huh* ...'m in," acknowledge Ukyou.

"Must avenge... *hack* ...Bubba," sobbed Shampoo.

"HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO... *cough* *cough* *hack* *wheeze* ...agreed," Kodachi
added, making it unanimous. After a few minutes, Kodachi looked around.
"Perchance does anyone know... *hem* where we are?"

"Nope..." Ukyou answered, as she took stock herself.

"We lost," Shampoo stated.

"HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! Your powers of observing the obvious is astounding,
Chinese peasent," cackled Kodachi.

"Anyone thirsty?" asked Akane.

"Why do you ask, Akane?" Ukyou asked in turn.

Akane pointed behind them. Three girls turned to see a stone well just
outside of a wooded area. The girls gathered around the well, examining it
carefully.

"Aw, what a gyp!" griped Ukyou. "There's no bucket! How are we supposed to
get the water up here without a bucket?"

Akane was far more interested in the sign nailed to the awning over the
well. The script was Roman, very unfamiliar with her. Still, this did not
prevent her from reading the sign, "'Ye Olde Wishing Well'..."

"WISHING WELL?!" repeated the quartet of girls, in four part harmony.

/* I've heard that if you drop a coin into a wishing well and make a wish,
that wish will come true! */ came four thoughts at the same time,
excitement blinding them to the fact that there was three other girls
around. Immediately, a search began for coins, and four five-yen pieces
dropped down into the depths of the well, and the girls made their wishes
silently.

Ukyou wished, /* I wish I was the woman Ranma loves! */

Akane wished, /* I wish I was the woman Ranma loves! */

The forth was by Shampoo. /* I wish for Bubba back! */

Kodachi wished, /* I wish I was the woman Ranma loves! HOHOHOHOHOHO!!! */

*PLOP*

/* MORE YEN!?!? */ the well djin thought with irritation. /* That's IT!! */

The world exploded around the girls.

***************

She awoke.

A girl of about sixteen years sat up, blinking a couple of times.
"Wha...What happened?" she asked with much confusion, her voice like the
tinkling of bells. Then she burst out in a loud cackle,
"HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!" And then came an interjection of, "Aiyah!"

The girl looked down, and her eyes went wide. She was wearing a bizzare
ensemble of a flowered jumper, worn over a black leotard with a mandarin
collar, wearing Chinese pants, and with Ukyou's bandoleer across her chest
with the battle spatula strapped across her back.

She also held a bonborii with the name "BUBBA" stenciled on its side. The
girl took a look at it and squealed with delight. "BUBBA!!!" she giggled,
hugging it.

Even as she was hugging the bonborii with ecstatic glee, her mouth moved on
its own to make a forlorn statement, "We are in trouble!"


End chapter 1...





                           ---------------------
##   ## ##   ## #######  ##   ##  AKA Tom Jefferys, Time Lord for Hire
##   ##  #   #   ##   ## ### ###      "Have TARDIS; Will Travel."
## # ##   ###    #####   ## # ##  Wielder of ANVIL and SPAM!
### ###    #     ##  ##  ##   ##     [ Will code for food! ]
##   ##   ###   ###   ## ##   ## of UT haunts <wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>
  Announcement: "Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow."
          The entropy of a system increases over time,
            as does the number of unmatched socks...