I'm sending this a second time, it doesn't seem to have made it the first
time.

OK, several people have put out some "Evil" stories.  Here's mine.

Apologies to Rumiko Takahashi for what I am about to do to her Ranma �
characters.

-----------------------------------

When Akane had gone to bed the night before, Ranma and Ryouga had been
fighting in the dojo to settle another of Ryouga's challenges.  Coming down
the stairs for breakfast she heard Kasumi say, "Akane, will you get Ranma
up?  He hasn't come down for breakfast, yet."

"Ok, Kasumi."  Does he expect to always use me as his alarm clock?  That
baka, I bet he stayed up most of the night fighting Ryouga.

As she enters his room, she notices that his futon had not been slept in.
She turns around and starts heading for the dojo.  As she goes by the dining
room, she says, "Kasumi, I think that baka is still in the dojo.  He's
probably still fighting Ryouga!"

"That's my boy!  Never surrenders.  Just like his pop!  Right Soun?"

"Yes, Saotome, that's correct!  What a fine son-in-law he'll be!"

As she nears the dojo, she notices that it is eerily quiet.

"That's funny.  I expected to hear them still fighting.  They must have
knocked each other out."   She thinks to herself.

Entering the dojo, she scans the place quickly.  She sees the normal
earmarks of a Ranma Ryouga battle throughout the room.  In the middle of the
room, she sees Ryouga and Ranma lying together.

As she comes closer, she gasps.  Ranma is lying in Ryouga's arms.  His head
is on Ryouga's left chest.  Ranma's left arm is holding Ryouga's right
shoulder in a light embrace.  His left leg is hooked across Ryouga's hips.
Akane then screams, "Ranma, Ryouga what have you been doing?"

Ranma and Ryouga awaken.  They see Akane standing over them and slowly
separate.  They both begin blushing.

Ryouga is staring at the floor.  Ranma looks at Ryouga and mutters, "Baka."

Genma, Soun, Nabiki and Kasumi then come running into the dojo.

"What's the matter?  Is something wrong?"  They all say.

"Ranma and Ry,Ry,Ryouga were sleeping together like LOVERS!"  Akane gasps
and starts crying.

Ranma looks at his father and says, "Hey pops, isn't it about time you and
{Mister} Tendo tell Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane the truth?"

Genma and Soun turn to each other.  Soun starts crying.  "Oh, no.  I thought
that Ranma didn't know!"

Genma splashes himself with cold water and signs, "Who are you calling pops?
I'm just a panda!"

"Father, I would like to know what Ranma is talking about."  Kasumi asks
gently.
"This is going to be very good." Nabiki deadpans.

"Wait a minute!  I want to know why you and Ryouga were sleeping with each
other."  Akane sobs.

"Akane, once you hear the story you will understand everything.  Ok,
{Mister} Tendo, why don't you tell them."  Ranma states.

"Very well.  It all started when Saotome here and I were just apprenticed to
the Master."

"No, don't tell them!"  The panda signs and is ignored by everyone.

"The Master has always wanted students, but can't stand to be around men for
any length of time.  So, he chose Saotome here and me to be his students.
My name then was Yuriko and the panda's was Aoki.  We were women.  As our
training progressed, I became pregnant by the Master first with Kasumi then
Nabiki and then you Akane.  Ah, what fine strapping boys you were."

Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane face-fault together.

"You mean Happosai is our father, you are our mother and we were born boys?"
The three girls gasp.

"Of course. Didn't I just tell you that?."  Soun agrees.  "May I continue?"

"Yes, mother, pray continue."  Nabiki growls.

----------------------------  flashback sequence begins here

Happosai enters a clearing where a woman resembling Soun is playing with
three very little boys.

"Yuriko, you haven't spent enough time with me or your training lately.  You
are spending too much time with our boys and are spoiling them."  Happosai
said jealously.

"Don't be silly.  Happi, dear.  You know that raising our three sons takes
most of my time.  I spend as much time as I can with you and our training."

"I don't care.  I want more of you!"

"I see.  Don't you think our children's need come first?"

"No.  I want what I want when I want it!"

"I'm sorry dear, but I can't.  The boys will always come first.  You come
second.  You come a very close second, but second nonetheless."

Happosai became furious.  "If I can't have you whenever I want then no one
can!"

He pulled out a ladle that looked and acted like a permanent version of the
Chiisuiton (please help with spelling here) and splashed Soun with water.

Suddenly, Yuriko was much taller.  She looked like a young Soun.  She was.
She cried "What have you done to me!"

Happosai just laughed.  "Your name is now Soun Tendo."

He poured water from a different jug into his ladle.

"You've doted on our boys so much that they're more like girls than boys!
So be it."

He then splashed the oldest boy, "I've drenched you with water from spring
of Drowned Housewife.  Your name is now Kasumi!"

He poured water from another jug into the ladle and splashed the second
oldest boy.  "Your name is now Nabiki, and I splashed you with water from
the spring of Drowned Gold-Digger!"

He then refilled the ladle with water from yet another jug and splashed the
youngest boy, still a baby.  "You will be called Akane and I splashed you
with water from the Spring of Drowned Bone-Headed Tomboy!"

After he was finished, he turned to Soun.  Soun was still crying.  "I have
provided a home for you and your girls.  Go to the Nerima district of Tokyo
and you will find a dojo.  It is called the Tendo dojo of Indiscriminate
Grappling.  It is yours.  Take your precious children and go."

Happosai then went off looking for his other student Aoki.  He found her
playing with her daughter Yohko and husband Tatewaki Kunou (uncle of
Tatewaki and Kodachi).  He did the same thing to them as he did to his own
family.  Aoki splashed with water from spring of Drowned Ne'er Do Well
became Genma Saotome.  Tatewaki after being splashed with water from spring
of Righteous Woman became Nodoka Saotome.  Yohko, the baby, was splashed
with water from the spring of Drowned Egotistical Martial Artist and thus
became Ranma Saotome.

He also told Genma and his family that the curses were permanent and that
the personality traits associated with the water would slowly become
dominant.  This would be especially true for the children.

It was that night that Soun and Genma sealed Happosai in the cave.

---------- End Flashback

Soun finished the story and began sobbing, "Oh my babies, I had to lie to
you all these years.  WHo would have believed that I was actually your
mother and Happosai, your father."

Ranma begins speaking, "So you see Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi and you are really
the sons of Happosai and Yuriko.  Yuriko who now is Soun.  I was born a girl
and was changed to a boy, but grew up always preferring to be around boys.
Just like you and girls.  I thought Ukyo was a boy and liked the idea of
marrying him.  When pop told me that she was a girl and asked if I liked her
or okonomiyaki better, I told him that I preferred okonomiyaki.  I was
always attracted to Ryouga at school.  Why else do you think I helped him so
much.  Our feud started when I first made a pass at him.  He freaked out
about it.  When I challenged him to try me both ways last night to see which
he liked better, he took me up on it after you left for bed.  You know what?
I expected him to like me better as a girl, but he likes me as a boy!  Why
don't you write the Jusenkyo guide for some Nannichuan. That way Ryouga, you
and I could be together forever! I bet you would like it!  Ryouga could
marry me and I could be his wife.  You could marry me and be my wife.  You
could even marry Ukyo!  The four of us could be happy forever.  Ask me about
truffles and pig noses later.  Oh MAN!"

Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi all looked at each other, said "Oh my!" and passed
out.

"By the way Saotome, what sex are you as a panda?" Soun asks.

"I don't know -- Let's find out Tendo!"

Soun and Genma head for the dojo.

As Ryoga and Ranma survey Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane laying in front of them,
Ranma turns to Ryoga and asks, "Ryoga are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so Ranma, but how are we going to get Sailor Moon to sing Bali Hai
while wearing a jockey's outfit?"

SMMooch, mmmm


------------------

The end

This was written in less than 2 hours.  Is this twisted and evil enough to
merit attention?  I hope so.  I have gotten a little irritated at Akane
being the one picked as most likely to as a lesbian.  Don't you think Ukyo,
who lived successfully as a guy for ten years, would be more likely to end
up a lesbian?

FLAME SHIELD is now engaged

Mike Allen

Email me at allenmk@gte.net with any C&C, or any rambling musings if you
liked or disliked my little one-shot.