Okay, here's the story that I made, just for this one lame joke, that I 
will explain at the end, because no one is going to get it...  Actually, 
just read the footnotes...

	"Ummm... Who are you?  And where's Toki-sensei?" Akane asked as 
she carried Ranma's inert body into the nurse's office.*  Dropping Ranma 
onto a nearby cot, Akane turned to study the stranger in the room.

	"Oh, Ms. Toki retired last week," the young woman said, brown 
hair cascading delicately over her shoulders.  "So I'll be taking over 
as School Nurse from now on.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll get to work 
on this (hunk of living godhood)... poor student."  Her green eyes 
glazing over a little, the new nurse turned and ushered the black haired 
girl out of the room a bit hurriedly.

	"Umm... Thank you... Ummm... I'm sorry.  I didn't catch your 
name?" Akane said as she was pushed towards the door.  Bracing herself 
on the frame, Akane turned and looked at the new nurse, noticing for the 
first time that she looked rather young, barely older then Nabiki.  "You 
do have a degree in medicine, right?"

	"Medicine?  Of course not... I'm only 19."  Aware of Akane's 
incredulous** look, she continued.  "I am, however, a practicioner of 
Bochu magic, a form of magic noted for it's ki manipulation and healing 
abilities.***"

	Akane still looked doubtful*^, but decided that it was good 
enough for her.  "Still, what's your name?"

	"Melissa... Melissa Officianalis^."  And with that, Melissa 
pushed Akane out the door, closing and locking and deadbolting and 
KNFing^* it.^**  Once that was all done, she turned back and looked at 
Ranma, a small strand of drool running down the corner of her mouth.

	<Mmmmm-Mmm!  Is it Christmas already?> Melissa thought to 
herself as she approaced the unconsious boy, slowly taking her clothes 
off.  After she stripped naked, she started undressing Ranma.  <Wow... 
Nice six...  Wait a minute... THIRTY SIX pack?  There is a god!>

	<Insert sex scene here>

	<Insert more sex here>

	<Even more goes here>

	<Nope, they ain't done yet>

	<Can we say, Energizer Bunny?>

	"Ungh...  What happened to me?  Last thing I remember, Ryoga was 
wailing on me with that umbrella of his, Kuno was trying, successfully, 
to skewer me, Mousse was giving me an intimate introduction with each of 
his fourteen thousand nine hundred seventy two differend blunt objects, 
and Akane had just malleted me."  Ranma patted himself down, checking 
for injuries.  <Wow... This is strange,  I should have 7 ribs broken in 
5 places each, three breaks in my right leg, four in my left, a 
shattered collarbone, two collapsed lungs, evacuated intestinal 
tract...>

Footnotes:

*- The nurse's office is in the basement.  There is a very good reason 
for this, as you will see later.

**- Well, it would have been incredulous, but Akane seems incapable of 
that look.  In fact, studies have shown that when she tries to be 
incredulous, she defaults to a different, more comfortable look.  The 
'This is all Ranma's fault, just give me a chance to think of why' look.

***- Actually, Bochu magic is noted more for raising ki through sex, but 
it can be used for healing.  Honest!

*^- Doubtful again defaults to 'Six Degrees of Ranma's Fault'.

^- Should be noted at this time that Melissa Officianalis is the genus 
species for a type of herb.  The specific herb in question is Lemon 
Balm.  (Get it?  Lemon Balm?  She heals people with sex!  Come on... 
It's funny!)

^*- KNF <==> Kinetic Noninterference Field

^**- It should be noted that the four ton titanium alloy blast doors 
were out being repainted.

Okay...  Now, you may start asking what drugs I am on...

Yes, Mr. Morrison?

No.  There was no crackpipe within 40 miles of me when I wrote this.  
Nor was there any crack in my system at any time.

Next?
-- 
JD Farber
email: sabreb@erols.com
ICQ: 3378089

To Touch is to Heal.
To Hurt is to Steal.
If you wanna kiss the Sky,
Better learn how to kneel.

On your knees, boy.