CHAPTER EIGHT


	Akiko remained pretty much stunned until the remains of the picnic had
been moved back to the dojo.  Although Nuku Nuku didn't seem terribly
disturbed by Ranma's transformation, the businesswoman was speechless,
and had to be carefully led home.  The other visitors to the picnic
accompanied them, though Ryoga wandered off and got lost halfway. 
	Once there, the specifics of Ranma's curse were explained... slowly. 
Akiko listened skeptically, though she couldn't deny the evidence of her
own eyes.  "So, when Ranma gets doused with hot or cold water, he
changes form?" 
	Genma pushed his glasses up on his nose.  "Such is the power of
Jusenkyo." 
	"I see."  That... changed things.
	Nuku Nuku, in the meantime, had completely recovered from the
psychological trauma of her ordeal (in about three minutes - long-term
angst wasn't part of her character) and had listened to the story with
wide eyes.  She couldn't grasp most of it, but the basic principle did
manage to filter through, after a fashion: 
	In a dojo, people changed forms when they got wet.
	As she slipped noiselessly out toward the pool, Akiko looked Ranma-chan
over critically.  "It's curious that, even knowing this, those girls
fought so fiercely over you." 
	"Hey, it ain't like I'm a freak of nature or nothin'!"  She smacked her
father.  "It was his stupid idea to train there, anyway!" 
	Akiko shook her head.  "That's not what I meant.  Surely, such a...
condition would cause many problems in any relationship."  Akane was
oddly quiet at this point. 
	Genma leaned forward.  "You have to understand.  The gift of the
Jusenkyo springs is as much of a blessing as a curse.  With access to
the female side of his nature, Ranma can morr hurr hoo arr!" 
	He stopped as he realized Akiko was staring at him, then looked down at
his massive, black-furred paws.  He turned his head, and saw Nuku Nuku,
grinning happily, holding a now-empty bucket.  She giggled. 
"Panda-san!"  She threw her arms around him and snuggled close, sending
Soun into another catatonic episode. 
	Ranma-chan shook her head.  "It ain't like I'm the only one around here
who got cursed, either.  You'd be surprised." 
	"And those girls don't mind?"
	While Ranma-chan considered this, Nuku Nuku hopped up and raced back
outside.  This was fun! 
	"Well, Kodachi doesn't know - actually, she's too dense to figure it
out, even with all the hints she gets.  Ukyo thinks it's kinda
entertaining.  And Shampoo's cursed herself, so she doesn't mind." 
	Mousse sneered at her.  "And at least *she* doesn't run away screaming
when *you* change." 
	"Shut up, you half-blind moron!"
	Akiko blinked.  "Nani?"
	Mousse posed dramatically.  "Allow me to explain.  You see, the
courageous and powerful Ranma is afraid of QUAAAAACK!" 
	Nuku Nuku giggled and scampered off in search of more water. 
	The mallard struggled out of the robes that were suddenly too big for
him, and glared at Ranma balefully behind inch-thick glasses.  She
grinned and poked him with a fork.  "Whassa matter, ducky-wucky?  Were
you saying something?"  He quacked in outrage and bit the fork in two. 
	"What does this Shampoo girl turn into, Ranma-kun?  Uh, Ranma-chan?" 
	"Oh, nothing important.  Really."
	"I see."  Behind her, Mousse the duck was trying to do an impression of
a cat, and failing miserably.  "Well, for one so young, you've certainly
collected an impressive array of followers, Ranma-chan." 
	"Wasn't my idea,"  Ranma-chan groused.  "I didn't ask for one fiancee,
let alone four." 
	Akiko frowned in thought for a moment.  Meanwhile, Nuku Nuku had slowly
crept up behind Nabiki, bucket at the ready... until the doorbell rang. 
She smiled happily.  "I'll get it!" 
	As the cat-girl scurried off to the front door, Akiko peered at the
red-head.  "Only three girls were fighting with Nuku Nuku.  There's
another?" 
	"Uh... well..."  She looked at Akane, who looked away.  Akiko turned
her head, moving her gaze from one girl to the other, and realization
filled her.  *So ka... I understand now.* 
	In the sudden silence, the door could be heard opening.  There was a
splash, followed by a brief scream, then a giggle and the sound of
running feet.  Shortly thereafter a small black piglet, dripping wet and
wearing a bandanna, trudged into the living room, looking annoyed. 
	Ranma-chan glanced over.  "Oh.  It's the pig."
	"P-chan!"  Akane held out her hands, and the piglet bounded over to
her.  She giggled and hugged him close.  "Aw, did Nuku Nuku splash you? 
Well, don't worry - she didn't mean anything by it." 
	Akiko smiled slightly.  "She does tend to get carried away.  She's a
wonderful girl, though.  I hate to admit it, but sometimes I wonder what
I'd do without her." 
	From elsewhere in the house, Nuku Nuku could be heard on her quest for
a new victim... er, playmate.  "Kasumi-chan!" 
	"Oh, hello, dear.  Would you like some of this left over fish cake?" 
	"Honto?! Arigato!"
	Akiko stood up and brushed herself off.  "Well, I believe it's time
that we returned home." 
	"So soon?"  Akane looked genuinely disappointed.
	The businesswoman nodded, as Nuku Nuku wandered in, gorging happily on
leftovers.  "Hai.  We've imposed on your hospitality long enough." 
	"Oh, you haven't imposed at all!  Right, dad?"  She waved a hand in
front of Soun's face.  "Dad?" 
	The panda held up a sign.  < Out cold. >
	Nuku Nuku peered closely at him, then poured some water over his head. 
When he failed to change, she decided he needed more water.  She hopped
out the back door. 
	"Well, anyway," Ranma-chan said, "we'll be sorry to see you go." 
	"You'll be sorry to see the food go, you mean," Nabiki translated. 
	Akane giggled.  "You're welcome to come back and visit any time you
want, Mrs. Natsume." 
	Akiko returned the smile.  "I'll try to fit it into my schedule.  And
please, call me Akiko." 
	Nuku Nuku returned and emptied another bucket over Soun.  He still
didn't change into anything.  It was obvious that she needed drastic
measures; she picked him up and carried him effortlessly out to the
pool. 
	Ranma-chan watched her dunk Soun up to his neck.  "Y'know, that's one
thing I've haven't figured out.  How come Nuku Nuku's such a tough
fighter?  She's pretty fast and strong, but she doesn't seem to know
much martial arts." 
	Akane nodded.  "Yeah, I noticed that, too."
	"Well, I suppose it's only fair to enlighten you on that score."  Akiko
looked outside.  "Nuku Nuku!" 
	"Hai!"  She bounded in.  "What is it, Mama-san?"
	"Sit down, dear."  Nuku Nuku obediently sat at the table, while Ranma
and the others watched curiously.  Akiko stepped behind her, then tapped
her lightly on the top of her head.  "Ears up." 
	"Meow."  With a hiss of compressed air, two yellow flaps unfolded from
within Nuku Nuku's hair and clicked into position, protruding at an
angle. 
	Everyone stared, and Ranma-chan's eyes began to bulge. 

	"She's an ANDROID?!"
	"Hai."  The newcomer sipped delicately at her tea while Ukyo and
Shampoo exchanged disbelieving glances. 
	"Look, um... What did you say your name was again?"
	"Yoshikawa Eimi."
	"Right.  Look, Eimi... do you *really* expect us to believe that?" 
	She shrugged.  "It doesn't really matter to me what you believe.  If
you're smart, though, you'll listen." 
	"Well, we've seen a lot around here, but we've *never* seen androids." 
	Eimi took another sip.  "Well, now you have.  I'm an android too." 
	Cologne narrowed her eyes as she looked at the girl.  "You look human
enough to me.  How do we know you're telling the truth?" 
	"That right!  You give proof, or Shampoo no believe." 
	The girl gave them a direct stare, then set her tea down.  "There are
two ways I can prove I'm an android.  The first one..."  She scowled. 
"...I'm not going to show you.  And the second one is pretty painful." 
	Ukyo snorted derisively.  "Yeah, yeah.  Afraid of a little pain, are
you?" 
	"I didn't say painful for *me*."
	"Oh."  She looked at Shampoo, and they nodded in unison.  Moving as
one, they pulled Kodachi to her feet; the gymnast was awake, but none
too stable. 
	They pointed her in Eimi's direction.  "Look," Ukyo whispered, "It's
the red-haired girl!" 
	"She try take Ranma away from you!" Shampoo added.
	"Wretched... beast!"  Kodachi swayed unsteadily toward Eimi.  "I'll
make sure you..."  As the gymnast lurched into range, Eimi casually
reached out and grabbed her wrist; waves of blue electricity abruptly
surged through their bodies, and for the second time that day Kodachi
dropped into a smouldering heap. 
	"So," Eimi smirked, "do you believe me now?"
	"Mmm... not really," Ukyo decided.  "But anyone who'd fry Kodachi is
okay in my book." 
	Shampoo nodded.  "So, how you think you help us?"
	Eimi seemed a bit taken aback at their bored acceptance of her
demonstration, but shrugged it off.  "Trust me - I have just the things
to give you the edge over Nuku Nuku.  Here's what we'll do..." 


	Akiko carefully repacked her suitcase in preparation to return home. 
The weekend hadn't been a total loss, she decided - though her original
plan had failed, she had learned a few things about Nuku Nuku she
wouldn't have realized without spending this time with her.  Perhaps
next time, she'd... 
	"That was a pretty impressive act down there."
	She turned and blinked.  "Nabiki-chan?"
	The middle Tendo daughter was leaning idly against the door frame. 
"I'm sure you managed to distract them, but trust me, that's not
difficult.  They'll all believe you, and won't have a clue what you were
really up to." 
	Akiko briefly considered denying the charge, but immediately rejected
the notion.  She smiled slightly and crossed her arms.  "And what would
that be?" 
	Nabiki shrugged, and wandered over to the window.  Below, Ranma had
decided that, while Nuku Nuku had a cat's brain, she still looked human,
and so wasn't afraid of her.  Now he and the android were sparring over
the reflecting pool (Ranma, of course, having stayed in his girl-form),
and Ranma was actually doing quite well.  As for Nuku Nuku, she was
having the time of her life. 
	"It wasn't difficult to figure out,"  Nabiki noted.  "I mean, you're
used to the best of the best - you wouldn't have volunteered to stay in
our 'humble home' without a good reason.  Then you kept manipulating
Ranma so that he would spend time with Nuku Nuku, and you looked
positively stunned when the subject of Ranma's fiancees came up.  The
rest was elementary, my dear Natsume - you've been trying to get those
two engaged." 
	Akiko joined her at the window.  "I suppose it's my turn to be
impressed." 
	"The only thing I don't understand is why you did it.  She seems
perfectly happy, even without a significant other." 
	"Nuku Nuku is a simple girl, with simple needs."  Akiko smiled again as
she watched the cat-girl leap and catch Ranma-chan around the waist, the
two of them rolling end over end until slamming into a tree.  "She
doesn't want much for herself.  I didn't do this for her sake - I did it
for the sake of my son." 
	Nabiki frowned.  "Your son?"
	"As the heir apparent of Mishima Heavy Industries, Ryunosuke has a
certain image to maintain.  Nuku Nuku considers herself to be his
bodyguard - which is all right, as he's only twelve years old.  However,
she won't age, and he won't be twelve forever." 
	"And having him as a teenager running around with a beautiful young
woman won't do much for his reputation." 
	Akiko nodded.  "She's too honest to maintain a ruse for long.  No, the
only way to avoid scandal is to find her a husband - whether she wants
one or not." 
	"Okay, but why here?  I mean, I know what guys like - I'm sure she's
got swarms of would-be suitors.  Why bring her all the way to Nerima?" 
	"Once I'd decided on what I wanted to do, I... allowed myself to be
persuaded to bring Nuku Nuku to a social event, so she could meet young,
eligible men of good standing.  That's where she met Tatewaki, who
originally seemed like a good choice.  Nuku Nuku didn't seem
particularly interested in him, however, and after hearing about him I
can't say I blame her." 
	Nabiki smiled a secret smile.  "Oh, Kuno does have a few redeeming
features..." 
	Akiko raised an eyebrow.  "The fact that he has money?" 
	"No... the fact that he has *lots* of money.  Anyway, you were saying?" 
	"Well, I had decided to give it another try, and had engineered another
meeting between them... until Nuku Nuku saved Ranma.  Such an act is
often a catalyst for... an emotional bond, let's say.  I'd hoped that
their time together would let it grow into something more, but..."  She
shrugged. 
	Leaning against the windowsill, Nabiki looked outside.  "Too bad your
trip here turned out to be wasted." 
	Akiko smiled and nodded down to where Nuku Nuku and Ranma were now
throwing things at each other - tables, bird baths, a certain giant
panda...  "She doesn't think so.  Nuku Nuku likes nothing better than to
meet new friends." 
	"I meant for you."
	"That's true, I suppose.  Really, I should have realized that Ranma was
unsuitable earlier than this." 
	"Well, it's not like it's immediately obvious that he turns into a
girl..." 
	Akiko shook her head.  "That's not what I meant.  Ranma's condition
might be... tolerable, if Nuku Nuku became interested in him." 
	Nabiki looked puzzled.  "So, what do..."
	"It was something Nuku Nuku said.  She told me that Akane and Ranma
reminded her of me and my husband.  At first I didn't realize what she
meant, but I worked it out when I heard they were engaged."  Below them,
the two fiancees were arguing again, with the cat-girl joining in in her
own special way.  "They love each other, don't they?" 
	And Nabiki smiled.  "Yeah.  Yeah, they do.  You'd have a tough time
getting either of them to admit it... but they do love each other." 
	"When I realized that, I knew it was hopeless.  Nuku Nuku may seem
careless at times, but I trust her heart implicitly.  She sensed the
love between them - she won't interfere with that, no matter what I do." 
	They were silent for a moment, then Akiko returned to her suitcase and
closed it up.  Nabiki followed.  "Well, feel free to come back anytime." 
	"Thank you, I will."  She extended her hand; Nabiki shook it, and was
left holding a business card.  She looked at Akiko curiously.  "Give me
a call in a few years," Akiko told her.  "I could use someone with your
obvious financial skills." 
	Nabiki gave a slight smile as Akiko lifted her suitcase and headed out
of the room.  Not a bad idea... though until then, the pictures she took
of Nuku Nuku would supplement her income quite nicely. 

	Ranma poured the hot water over her head, then tossed the kettle
aside.  "That wasn't a bad little workout," he decided. 
	"Mmm!"  Nuku Nuku nodded in agreement.  "It was fun!" 
	"Too bad those three ruined the picnic," Akane noted with a scowl. 
"I'm sorry about that, Nuku Nuku - they just don't know how to mind
their own business." 
	"Daijobu, Akane-chan.  That was fun too, until they cheated.  Still,
Nuku Nuku can't wait to get back home; it's too quiet here." 
	There was a sudden silence.
	"Uh... too quiet?"
	"Hai.  After all, I only got into one big fight - the other ones didn't
last very long.  Usually I get to play all the time.  Mama-san doesn't
do it herself any more, but Kyoko and Arisa try to kill me three or four
times a week."  The silence deepened; Ranma and Akane were staring at
her in shock.  "And then there's my best friend Eimi-chan.  She tries to
kill me a whole lot!  Of course, she doesn't have any of the POISON
planes like Kyoko and Arisa, but she's always coming up with something
to use against me.  I haven't seen her in a while, though...  I wonder
where she is?" 
	And then, in the continued stunned silence, the wall exploded. 

	Gravel and bits of masonry flew across the dojo grounds, prompting
Ranma and Nuku Nuku to jump up into a ready stance.  Ranma scowled. 
*Can't be Ryoga... he's over by Akane.  Was it the ghoul?  That blast
was too powerful for...* 
	The smoke finally cleared, and there was a series of mechanical whirs
and clicks as a pair of metallic figures strode through the gaping
hole.  The visored helmets they wore gave them a sinister, alien
appearance. 
	"What the...?!"
	Nuku Nuku gasped.  "Power suits!"
	Akiko, who had been watching from the living room, rushed outside. 
"Kyoko!  Arisa!  I did *not* authorize the use of those!" 
	The two intruders seemed to exchange glances, and one of them laughed. 
"Oh, yeah?  See if we care, ya old hag!" 
	"Nani?!"
	"We no who you think we is!" the other one told her.
	"Those voices..."  Ranma clenched his fists.  "Ukyo?  Shampoo?  What're
you doing in those things?" 
	The visors slid out of the way, revealing that the people in the suits
were indeed two of Ranma's fiancees.  Ukyo posed cutely, her hand on her
hip.  "Nice fit, huh, Ranma-honey?  We just met a new friend, who was
more than happy to lend these to us so we could get rid of your
artificial girlfriend over there once and for all!" 
	"What are you talking about?!  She's not my..."
	"No talk!"  Shampoo raised herself into a classic one-footed martial
arts pose.  "It time to finish this!  We lots stronger with these, can
beat cat girl easy!  And it all thanks to new friend."  She glared
smugly at Nuku Nuku.  "She friend of you, too." 
	"Friend?"
	A high pitched peal of laughter suddenly rang across the dojo grounds,
and a certain young woman walked in.  "Long time no see, NK-1124." 
	"Eimi-chan!"  Akiko was livid.  "How dare you use my own company's
equipment against me!" 
	"Urusai!  Now that I've found people who can really use these, I'm
going to... to..."  Eimi's sentence trailed off, and she stared at her
enemies.  Specifically, at Ranma. 
	She'd never gotten a chance at seeing him so close... 
	*Kakkoii!*  She felt a synthetic blush rise in her cheeks, and her eyes
began to glisten.  *He's so handsome!  What is this emotion... I've
never felt this way before!*  Before the other two could react, she was
running toward him with a wide smile and outstretched arms.  Shampoo and
Ukyo glanced at each other, and nodded in unison. 
	"Ranma-kuuuuACK!"  Eimi suddenly disappeared beneath metal-shod feet as
her former allies stomped her into the dirt. 
	"Stupid girl!  We no let do!"
	"You were just usin' us to get close to Ranma, weren't you?!" 
	Eventually the dust settled, and Ukyo stalked away, removing the helmet
from her head.  She threw it angrily on the ground.  "Oh, I give up!" 
Shampoo followed suit, leaving a badly trampled Eimi behind.  Nuku Nuku
wandered over and looked at her friend in concern; soon the two of them
were exchanging blows and slaps, Nuku Nuku grinning all the while.  Ukyo
glared at Ranma.  "I hope you two are happy together!" 
	"But I... you... argh!"  Ranma tromped off, muttering dire imprecations
against the female of the species. 
	Shampoo watched him leave, then turned her attention on Akane.  "Stupid
Akane.  You have plenty chances kill her, but not even try.  Now she
win!" 
	Akane rolled her eyes.  "Will you relax?  She's leaving." 
	"Huh?"  Ukyo finally noticed the suitcases arranged by the door. 
"But..." 
	"Honestly.  All that complaining over nothing."
	Ukyo glared at her.  "Don't give me that.  You can't tell me you
weren't worried yourself." 
	"That right!  Why lazy Akane not try get rid of cat-girl too?  You want
lose Ranma-darling?" 
	Akane looked up at the clouds.  "At first... yeah, I was a bit
worried.  But then I realized who she reminded me of." 
	As one, Akane's rivals turned and looked at Nuku Nuku, who was laughing
happily as she and Eimi stretched each other's faces into many unusual
shapes.  "What you mean, Akane?" 
	She chuckled.  "You can't really see it now... but she reminds me a lot
of Kasumi."  They looked at her in surprise.  "She's sweet, innocent,
and likes helping others.  I don't think there's a selfish bone - or
whatever she's made of - in her body.  If you weren't so busy trying to
kill her, you'd have seen it, too.  She's not the type to deliberately
interfere with a... well, she just wouldn't." 
	The other two were silent for a long moment.  Finally Ukyo shifted
uncomfortably.  "I guess we should go apologize...?" 
	"Don't bother.  I think she likes that kind of thing." 
	Ukyo laughed awkwardly.  "I don't know whether to be pleased... or
insulted." 

	The crosstown express rumbled to a stop, and its passengers began to
disembark.  The station was lit with the soft amber light of the setting
sun, tinging the air with a sense of sadness as new friends said their
goodbyes. 
	Akiko bowed, and Nuku Nuku followed her example.  "Thank you for
letting us stay in your home." 
	"Don't worry about it,"  Akane asserted.  "We'll be looking forward to
seeing you again." 
	The cat-girl grinned.  "Nuku Nuku wants to come back, too.  Maybe next
time we can do something really exciting!" 
	Ranma smiled, though it looked a bit forced.  "Uh, yeah.  Sounds like
fun."  *Man... everybody and their great-grandmother tried to kill her,
and she's still looking for a fight.  I dunno if the dojo would survive
any more excitement...* 
	A soft bell tone signalled that the train was ready for boarding, and
various commuters filed into its cars.  Akiko smiled at the others. 
"Well, it's time to go.  Sayonara!"  As she and Nuku Nuku walked to the
first-class compartment, Ranma suddenly snapped his fingers. 
	"Oh, yeah!"  He picked up a small cloth-covered cage and hurried over. 
"Nuku Nuku!"  She stopped at the door and turned to him.  He held the
cage out to her.  "I want you to have this." 
	"Honto?"  She peeked under the cloth, then giggled.  She threw her arms
around him and hugged him happily.  "Arigato, Ranma-kun!"  She put the
package with the rest of their luggage and, giving them one final wave,
bounded up into the train.  After a few minutes, the doors closed and
the train sped out of sight. 
	Ranma wandered back to the others... only to be met by Akane's angry
glare.  He recoiled back in surprise.  "What's your problem?  It's not
like I kissed her or anything.  Anyway, I thought you liked her!" 
	"Nuku Nuku, I trust.  It's you I'm suspicious of.  You didn't have to
*enjoy* it that much..." 
	"What was in the present, Ranma?"  Kasumi asked.
	"Oh, just a little something we don't need anymore..." 

	"RANMA!  Get me out of here!  This is the last time I listen to you! 
How dare you treat your master like this... and you dressed me in this
stupid mouse suit again, too!  'I know a girl who thinks you're the
cat's meow...' how could I have been so blind?  Let me out!  *Sniffle* 
It's dark... I'm scared...  I wanna go home!  RANMAAAAAAAA!"