On Mon, 11 May 1998, Nicholas Leifker wrote:

Split-Ranma works have been done left, right, and center.  What are you
going to do to make yours stand out?  You're delving into one of those

Hrm, allow me to offer a suggestion here. One of the things that should
definitely be written about in a split Ranma fic is how Ranko deals with
being stuck as a girl. Now Nodoka's suggestion with Ukyou marrying Ranko
had me going...how about having Ukyou help Ranko cope with her situation
(after all, Ukyou has been in a similar one for the past ten years of her
life), while the two of them grow closer together. As the relationship
develops you could write a lemon scene...(the Ranma-chan with another girl
ones are always fun to read, IMHO), etc. I've yet to see a lemon
split-Ranma fic where Ranko is paired up with Ukyou. :) Ryouga, Shampoo,
Nabiki yes, but not Ukyou.

Also, something seems a bit untidy about your format. I've never written
in script format myself so I don't have a very good idea of what it should
look like, but you could try looking at other fanfics written in script
format and immitate their format. 

-Philip Mak (pmak@cs.dal.ca)