Insert standered " PLEASE DO KILL ME FOR WRITEING THIS " disclaimer
Ranma x2
Part 1: Here's Ranma ..... and Ranma
By "Psycho Sam" Vilsmeier ( Sam_74@msn.com )
( It is dark moonless night in a small, little known valley of Jusenkyo. Most of those who come here don't there don't leave as they came. There is an obscured figure walking to one of the hundreds of springs.)
The Figure: At last, Happosai I will make you change my name
(The figure draws water from the spring and as he looks up, his identity is revealed. It's Pantyhose Taro.)
* two weeks later in Nemira *
(It's night at the Tendo Dojo. Nodoka Saotome, Ranma's mother, is paying a visit, and Ranma and Genma have just jumped into the Koi Pond )
Ranma-chan: *nervously* Hello Auntie Saotome.
Genma-panda: [ Hello, some-one-elses-wife. ]
Nodoka: Well, if it's not Ranko and Mr. Panda. Isn't it cold for a swim?
Ranma-chan: N-n-no, not at all.
Nodoka: * in a motherly tone * Ranko, it's too late for a swim. Get out of there before you catch cold.
Ranma-chan: Yes, Auntie Saotome.
( From the house the ringing of the phone is heard. )
*From the house * Akane: Hello....... Oh no, not again !
( "Mr. Panda", "Ranko", and Nokoda run into the house. )
Ranma-chan: Akane, what is it ?
Nodoka: Yes Akane-chan what is it ?
Akane: That was the Jusenkyo guide, he said that Pantyhose Taro came to get Virtuous-man water to use on ....
( Happosai runs in holding a bag of bras. )
Happosai: WHAT A HAUL, WHAT A HAUL !
Akane: ......him and got the twins water again.
Happosai: RANMA !
* Happosai latches onto Ranma-chan *
Nodoka: Ranma? Where?
Ranma-chan: * evilly * Dry up and die old man.
(Ranma-chan kicks Happosai into LEO.)
Nodoka: Young lady, you should not do that. It's not lady-like.
Ranma-chan: HEY!! He lached onto my chest!
Nadoka: Still, it is not lady-like.
Ranma-chan: Yes, Auntie Saotome.
Nodoka: Now what was that about Happosai calling you Ranma ?
Ranma-chan: *GULP* That old lech has very bad vision, he-he-he thinks I'm Ranma. *thinking* If she finds out about my curse I'm as good as dead.
* Happosai lands and jumps for Ranma-chan. *
Happosai: Ranma-chan, let me rest my tired old head on your bountiful bosom !
(Nodoka trys to pull Happy off of "Ranko" )
Nodoka: Happosai, leave Ranko-chan alone.
Happosai: Ranko ?
Kasumi: Happosai, there is someone here to see you.
( Pantyhose Taro kicks the door down and pulls out a bottle of water marked "Spring of Drowned Virtuous-man". He gets a nasty look from Happy, a confused look from Nodoka, a sweet look from Kasumi, and fearful looks from everyone else. )
Happosai: If it isn't little Pantyhose.
Pantyhose: DIE LECH!!!!!
Ranma-chan: PANTYHOSE, YOU BASTARD!!! YOU GOT THE WRONG WATER AGAIN !!!!!!!!!
Pantyhose: SHUT THE FUCK UP, FEM-BOY !!!!
* Pantyhose throws the bottle at Happosai. He gets out of the way, and it hits and empties on Ranma. *
Ranma-chan: I don't feel so hot ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ( Ranma-chan starts to glow. Then,
there is a flash, and we see Ranma-kun blown into the kitchen with the kettle Kasumi was heating emptied over his head. Ranma-chan is blasted into the pond. Happosai makes a quick exit with a rabid-looking Pantyhose going after him.. )
Kasumi: Oh my.
Nodoka: ... ( Nodoka stands there in shock. )
Ranma: Ohhhhh my head. ( Ranma sees that he is in boy form and is in front of his mother. ) Oh, fuck me. ( Ranma passes out )
Ranma-chan: Ohhhhh my head. (Ranma-chan sees Ranma) WHAT THE HELL !?
Nodoka: What's going on here ?
( Genma-Panda enters and sees Nodoka and the 2 Ranmas. )
Genma-panda: [ YIPE! ]
Akane: I'll tell you ...
( One explanation and tearful reunion later )
Akane: But what about the seppuku promise ?
Nodoka: I only agreed with Genma's stupid idea so he wouldn'd slack off on his parental duties.
Genma (now human), Ranma-chan, and Ranma: _NANI_ ?!
Ranma and Ranma-chan: (Ranma and Ranma both turn to there father with killer looks in their eyes) Pops, TIME TO DIE!!!!! ( Both Ranmas kick the crap out of their father. )
Nodoka: STOP IT, YOU TWO !
Ranma and Ranma-chan: Ok, mom. ( They let what's left of their father fall to the floor. )
Ranma-chan: I'll be back in a sec. I hafta change back into a guy.
Nodoka: O-o-ok Rank... Ranma.
*from the kitchen* Ranma-chan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( Everyone runs in the room seeing a wet Ranma-chan laying on the floor in a state of shock. )
Nodoka: Ranma, whats wrong ?
Ranma-chan (Crying): I-I-I-I didn't change back into a guy.
Ranma: * to himself * If she can't change back into a man then.... ( Ranma dumps a bucket over his head and doesn't change into a girl ) *Yelling* I'M CURED ! ( running all around the room) NEVER GONNA BE A GIRL AGAIN !!!!!!!! I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcured !
Ranma-chan: W-w-w-w-why didn't I change back into a boy ? I have to be a boy !
Nodoka: It'll be all right. ( Nodoka is holding a crying Ranma-chan )
Ranma: I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcur...*SMACK* (Ranma get a mallet to the face)
Akane: Baka.
Akane: Auntie, I called Dr. Tofu.
Nodoka: Thank you, Akane. Kasumi-chan, please leave the room.
Kasumi: Yes, Auntie Saotome. ( Kasumi goes to her room so Dr. Tofu will not see her. )
Dr. Tofu ( At the door ): Hello ?
Akane: Come in, Doctor.
Dr. Tofu: Two Ranmas? What happened here?
Akane: Ranma was splashed with "Spring of Drowned Twins" water and there are now two of him.
Dr. Tofu: Is there anything else unusual ?
Ranma-chan (crying): I can't change back into a guy.
Ranma: And I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcure...*SMACK* ( Ranma gets hit by Akane's mallet. )
Akane: Stop being such a jerk.
Ranma-chan (Crying): Shut up!!! Just shut the fuck up!
Nodoka: Ranma, stop it ! All you're doing is upsetting your sister.
Ranma: Sister ?
Dr Tofu: Yes Ranma. In a way this girl ( points to Ranma-chan ) is your twin sister.
Ranma: I guess your right, but I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcur...
Ranma-chan (Crying): STOP IT!! DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU FELT WHEN WE FIRST FELL INTO THE NYANNICHUAN?! OR WHEN HERB LOCKED US IN FEMALE FORM?!
Ranma: I'm sorry.
Ranma-chan: I-I-I-I'll be okay.
Nodoka: Ranma, we need to talk.
Ranma and Ranma-chan: About what ?
Akane: This could be a problem.
Ranma and Ranma-chan: What would ? .... STOP REPEATING WHAT I'M SAYING !
Soun (Crying): RANMA IS NOW UNCURSED, SO HE CAN MARRY AKANE WITHOUT DELAY !
Ranma: No way am I marrying a uncute tomboy like her.
Akane: RANMA NO BAKA ! *Smash* ( Akane hits Ranma with the Mallet-o-Doom. ) Now, as I was saying, we need to find a name for her. ( Akane points to Ranma-chan. )
Ranma-chan: But I already have a name you uncute tomboy !
Akane: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. We'll need a way to tell both of the Ranmas apart, though.
Nodoka: She is right, Ranko. That's it! Why don't you just go under that name.
Ranma-chan (sadly): O-o-okay.
Nodoka: Now Ranko, Doctor Tofu and I are going to fill you in on female biology.
Ranko: Okay. So... uh... first of all... what's a period?
Nodoka: This could be a problem.
Dr. Tofu: Mrs. Saotome, I think we should give her this ( Dr. Tofu pulls out a book labeled "So You're a Woman Now: a Girl's Guide to Growing Up" ) and fill in the gaps.
Nodoka: I hope your right about this Doctor.
Ranko: Errrr.... thanks. ( Ranko starts to read the book but passes out after the third page )
Kasumi: Oh my.
Nodoka: Ranko-chan, whats wrong ? ( Nadoka props up her daughter )
Ranko (comeing to): I need to find a cure !
Nodoka: Ranko, your a woman now you just have to learn to accept it.
Ranko (sobbing): I am a _MAN_ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Nodoka puts her arms around Ranko)
Nodoka: There there, Ranko-chan. It'll be alright.
Ranko (Sobbing): Easy for you to say.
Nodoka: Ranko, tomarrow is Saturday. So lets do something just you and I.
Ranko: Really ?
Nodoka: Yes, really.
Ranko: Thanks, mom.
Ranma: (Still groggy from the Akane induced coma.) Hey, what about me ?
Nodoka: Ranma, I think your sister needs me a lot more then you do right now.
Ranma (Sigh): Okay mom.
Nodoka (Happily): This has been a very good day for me. I have my son back, and I even got another daughter.
Everyone (Shocked): What do you mean "another"?
Nodoka: I didn't know it at the time, but when Genma left to train when they left I was pregenant.
Kasumi: Oh my.
Soun (Demon Headed): SAOTOME! NO WONDER YOUR SON HAD SUCH TERRIBLE MORALS! HE WAS RAISED BY A MAN WHO WOULD LEAVE HIS OWN PREGENANT WIFE ALONE TO RAISE A CHILD! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ?!
Genma: I..... well..... errrrr.... ahhhhh....
Soun (Demon Headed): WELL ?!
Genma: (Genma Dumps a bucket of cold water over his head) Gruff!
Nadoka: Calm down, Tendo-san.
Akane: Auntie Saotoma, why didn't you tell us before ?
Nodoka: I wanted it to be a surprise.
Ranma (Monotone): It certainly was surprising.....
Ranko: You can say THAT again.
Nodoka: Let's talk more about this in the morning.
Ranko: Good idea.
Ranma: I have something to do first.
--------------------------- Later that night ---------------------------------------------------
(Ranma opens Akane's door just after she goes to bed) .
Ranma: Akane?
Akane: RANMA!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!!!! PERVERT!!!!
Ranma: Akane, I just want to tell you something. I should of told you this earlier, but I just couldn't as a half man.
Akane: WELL SPIT IT OUT, BAKA!!!
Ranma: Akane, I-I-I love you.
Akane (monotone): What?
Ranma (blushing): I......I love you, Akane.
Akane (softly): I..... I love you too, Ranma. (evil grin) But you better get rid of those other girls!
Ranma: I know... It's just I don't know what to say.
Akane: Try saying "get lost".
Ranma: I can't tell Ucchan to get lost.
Akane: AND JUST WHY NOT RANMA?! DO YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME?!
Ranma: Akane, keep it down or we'll be forced to get married before were ready! And no I don't love her more... but I do lover her.
Akane: What?! (Akane pulls out the Super-Mallet-O-Doom.)
Ranma: I don't love her in that way!
Akane: What do you mean by that ?!
Ranma: I love her like a sister.
Akane: Oh. (The Super-Mallet-O-Doom go back to it's home in the Hammerverse.) Sorry for almost malleting you.
Ranma: Well, I better go to bed. See ya later you Kawaii Tomboy.
Akane: Ranma no baka. (A HUGE mallet appers and Akane hits Ranma with it.)
Ranma: AHHHH...? (Ranma pokes the mallet.) Foam rubber?
Akane: Sucker!
Ranma: (Ranma fake punches Akane.) Akane no baka.
Akane: Good night, Ranma.
Ranma: Good night, Akane...... chan. (Evil Grin) Please tell P-chan that you love me. (Ranma gives Akane a kiss on the cheek, turns off the light, and closes the door)
----------------------------- The Next Morning -------------------------------------------------
(It is a beautiful day as a full overhead shot of the Tendo Dojo comes into view. Soon enough, however, the peace is shattered by....)
Ranma: WHAT THE HELL ?!
(There is a puzzled Happosai on the chest of a very angry and very wet Ranma)
Happy: What's going on here ?!
Ranko (Rolling over and waking up): Whats with all the noise? *Seeing Happosai.* Just my luck....
Happy: SWEETO !!!!!! (Happy jumps for Ranko's chest but gets punched into orbit by Ranma.)
Ranko: Thanks..... bro.
Ranma: No prob.... sis.
Ranko: I'm a guy!!! (Knocks Ranma on his ass.)
Ranma: Stupid girl...
(Akane bursts in holding a bucket of water.)
Akane: RANMA WAKE..... your awake?
Ranma: What does it look like ?
(Nodoka walks in.)
Nodoka: Good morning Akane-chan, Ranko-chan, and Ranma-kun
Ranko & Ranma: Good morning mom.
Akane: Good morning Auntie Saotoma.
Ranma: (Getting dressed) Ranko, are you thinking what I'm thinking....
Ranko: (Also getting dressed) Ohhhh yeah.
Nodoka: What are you two thinking about?
Ranma: This..... (Ranma kicks Ranko out of the window)
Ranko: BAKA !!!!! *SPLASH*
(Ranma jumps out the window and him and Ranko go into a fierce sparing session.)
Nodoka: RANMA!!! Don't throw your sister out the window!
Ranma: Sorry, mom ....
Ranko: An opening *SMACK* (Ranko get Ranma in the head with a spin kick.)
(Ranma and Ranko have a great time sparring until there father interrupts and get kicked into the pond for being a nuisance.)
Genma: [Stupid Kids.]
Ranma & Ranko: Shut up, old man!
Ranma: Lets finish this....special moves allowed.
Ranko: Okay. Your move bro.
( Ranma and Ranko circle each other for minute. )
Ranma: MOKO TAKABISHA!!!! (Ranma fires a large ball of yellow ki.)
Ranko: SHISHI HOKODAN!!!! (Ranko fires of a _MASSIVE_ beam of green ki. )
Ranma: WHAT THE... (Ranko's blast overcomes Ranma's. It hits Ranma in the chest, and throws him through the wall.)
Ranma (on the ground thinking): Man, she is DEPRESSED. Poor guy. (Getting up out loud.) Good shot.
------------------------- In the house. -------------------------------------------------------
Nodoka: Ranko, I got you a school dress for you yesterday.
Ranko: A DRESS?! NO WAY AM I PUTTING THAT ON!
Nodoka: Ranko, you absolutly correct.
Ranko & Ranma: Nani?
Nodoka: I'm still seeing you as Ranko Tendo, tomboy, not Ranko Saotome, my son turned daughter. I don't want to force you to do things that'll make you uncomfortable.
Ranko: Thanks, mom.
Nodoka: BUT, you have to wear a bra.
Ranko: But mom...
Nodoka: No buts about it, you're wearing a bra.
Ranko: This sucks.
Nodoka: Ranko, just try it.
Ranko: Okay, but it better not be something frilly.
Nodoka: Don't worry. It's not. Here. (Nadoka hands Ranko a plain grey sports bra.)
Ranko (relieved): This ain't a bad as I thought it would be. I can live with this.
Kasumi: Breakfast is ready.
Ranma & Ranko: Thanks Kasumi.
------------------------ After breakfast. ---------------------------------------------------
Nodoka: Ranma, your sister and I are going out and will not be back for about two hours. I hope you don't mind.
Ranma: It's ok.
Nodoka: Akane-chan, you can come it you want.
Akane: Okay Auntie Saotome.
------------------Outside the Dojo walls -------------------------------------------------------
Ranko: Where are we going, mom?
Nodoka: Shopping, but first we get your little sister.
Ranko: Shopping?! Aw, shit.
Nodoka: Watch your mouth, Ranko.
Akane: Yeah Ran_KO_.
Ranko: Shut up, you uncute tomboy.
Akane: RANM...RANKO NO BAKA!!!!!! *SMASH* (The Mallet-O-Doom (TM) returns from hammer space to punish the offending Saotome.)
Nodoka: AKANE! That was uncalled for.
Akane: Sorry.
Ranko *Getting up*: Lets go before Hammer girl gets slam happy again.
Akane: Jerk.
Ranko: Tomboy.
Nodoka: *to herself*: This is going to be a long day. *To the Girls*: Let's go.
--------------At the Saotoma Home---------------------------------------------------------------
( The Saotome home is a beat up twin with a "For Sale" sign in the yard )
Ranko: Whats with the sign?
Nodoka: I bought a new house.
Akane: Where?
Nodoka: Next door to you, and I bought the lot in the back also.
_________ _________
| New | |
| Saotome | |
| Home | |
|_________| Lot |
| Tendo | |
| Dojo | |
| | |
|_________|_________|
Ranko: How could you afford all of that?
Nodoka: I got it all for less than 5,000,000 yen ($50,000). Property values are very low where you live.
Akane *Stairing at Ranko*: I wonder why.
Nameless Neighbor Person: Hello Nodoka-San, I'll get Kinko.
* A girl who looks like a ten year-old Ranko with black hair runs up to Nodoka. *
Kinko: MAMA! *To Ranko* WOW, you look just like me! Who are they mama?
Nodoka: That's Ranko, and that's Akane. Ranko is you elder sister.
Kinko: BIG SISTER!!!! (Kinko gives Ranko a bone-crushing bear hug.)
Ranko: *CRACK* AHHHH YOU CAN STOP NOW! *CRUNCH* YOUR BREAKEING MY ARMS!
Kinko (letting go): Sorry big sister. I kinda get carried away sometimes.
Ranko: No kidding. Let's get goin'.
----------------------- At the mall. ---------------------------------------------------------
Ranko: Okay mom, where are we gonna go first?
Nodoka: Well, you could use a swim suit...
Ranko: Mom, cold water activated the curse. You swim in cold water. Any questions?
Nodoka I guess _Ranma_ could use a swimsuit, then.
Ranko: No shit.
Nodoka: RANKO! Such language.
Ranko: What ever.
Nodoka: Ranko, I know that this whole ordeal has been hard on you. But such language cannot be tolerated
Ranko: *Sigh* Ok, mom.
Nodoka: You could use some undergarments. Boxer shorts and a sports bra will not do it.
Ranko: Ok, lets....
Kuno: PIG TAILED GIRL, AKANE, MY LOVES!
Ranko (darkly): Kuno, back off and I may just let you live.
Kuno: I can't live without you! ( Kuno glomps Ranko. )
Ranko: OK THATS IT........... KASHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!!! (Kuno is punched in to the girl's dressing room.)
From the dressing room: Pervert!!!!!! *Smack* LECHER!!!!!!! *WOMP* PEEPING TOM!!!! *CRUNCH*
Nodoka: Who was that boy?
Ranko: Just some pervert from school.
Nodoka: My, he was certainly manly spying on those girls.
Ranko: Oh, please.
--------------------- in a shop ---------------------------------------------------------------
Nodoka: Ranko lets get you some...
Ranko: Here. ( Ranko hands her mother a package of plain grey panties and a few sports bras.) Let's pay and go.
Nodoka: Ranko, do you even know your size?
Ranko: Errrrr... no.
( About forty minutes later.... )
Nodoka: Now that we know you sizes we can buy you a set of panits and bras.
Ranko (irritated): It took long enough!
Akane: You didn't want the wrong size, did you?
Ranko (Very irritated): Well, I didn't know that it would take so long.
Akane (Scowling): Let's go.
Ranko (Monotone): You read my mind. (Ranko grabs some underpants that fit and walks to the clerk.) Come on mom.
Zit faced sixteen year-old clerk: Ma'am, that'll be 4,000 yen.
Nodoka: Here. (Nodoka pays the clerk. The four women leave the shop.)
-------------- In the mall ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Kinko: Where are we going next, mama?
Nodoka: To get you sister some clothes. ( Nodoka starts off towards a dress shop.)
Ranko: I don't think so. ( Ranko turns her mother towards a mens clothing shop.) Thats more my style.
Nodoka: Thats a MEN's shop.
Ranko: Your point is ?
Nodoka: *Sigh* Very well.
( Ten minutes later...)
Ranko (comeing out of the shop with a few new Chineese outfits): Was that so bad?
Nodoka: No, actually you look very good in those outfits.
Kinko (Seeing a cute dolly): KAWAII!!!!!!!!!! Buy it for me, mama!!!!
Nodoka: *sigh* Okay, Kinko-chan. (Nodoka buys the doll.)
Kinko: I'll name her..... Charlean.
Akane: It's about time we go home. I bet Kasumi almost has lunch ready
Nodoka: I agree, Akane-chan. Let's go.
-------------------------- Back at the Tendo Dojo------------------------------------------------
Nodoka: Genma, Ranma, we're back. I brought our youngest daughter, Kinko.
Ranma (looking at Kinko): Hi runt. I'm your big brother, Ranma.
Kinko: BIG BROTHER!!!!! (Kinko gives Ranma one of her bone crusher hugs.) *CRUNCH*
Ranma: ACK!!! *Crack* YOUR CRUSHING MY MY RIBS!!!!!!!
Kinko (letting go): Sorry, big brother.
Genma (in human form for once.): Kinko, I'm Genma. Your father.
Kinko: Papa? PAPA!!!!!!!!! (Kinko gives Genma a crushing hug.)
Genma: Your certiainly a strong one. *CRUNCH* NEED AIR! *Squish* AHHHHHH!!!!!!1
Kinko (letting go): Sorry, Papa.
Ranko: There is something about pop...
Ranma ...that you really should know. Akane, do it.
Akane: Okay. (Akane dumps a bucket over Genma's head.)
Genma-Panda: [I was getting to that.]
Kinko: CUTE!!!!!!! ( Kinko hugs Genma again.) IT'S SO COOL!!!! MY PAPA CAN CHANGER INTO A PANDA!!!!!!!
Genma-Panda: [FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET HER OFF!!!!]
Nodoka: Kinko, let go. You're crushing your father.
Kinko (letting go): Oh, but he is soooooo CUTE like this!
Ranko: Pop?
Ranma: Cute?
Ranma & Ranko: WE DON'T THINK SO!
Genma-Panda: [And just why ain't I cute?]
Ranma: You're old.
Ranko: You're nasty.
Ranma & Ranko: And you're a TOTAL asshole!
Nodoka: DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF YOU SISTER!!!!!
Ranma & Ranko: Sorry, mom.
Genma-Panda: [WELL I NEVER!]
Nodoka: Kasumi-san, may I help you with lunch?
Kasumi: No thank you, Nodoka-san. Lunch is ready.
Ranko: Finally!
----------------- after lunch ----------------------------------------------------------
Ranko: That was very good, Kasumi.
*CRASH*
Shampoo (Walking through her new door): Nihao Ranma! (not seeing Ranma) Here Ranma, Shampoo have hot water for husband. (Shampoo dumps a kettle over Ranko.) Aiya! WHAT DID VIOLENT-GIRL DO TO HUSBAND ?! (Hefting a Sword) AKANE,I KILL!
Ranma (Angrly, from behind Shampoo): Shampoo... DON'T YOU DARE!
Shampoo: Two Ranmas... Aiya! What happened?
Ranko: Well ya see...
( One explanation later... )
Shampoo: Aiya! That very sad story.
Ranko: Your tellin' me ?!
Shampoo: Being girl not bad, better than being man.
Ranko: NO WAY! Girls are weak!
Nodoka: RANKO-CHAN! Who told you a lie like that?!
Ranko: Pop did.
Nodoka (darkly): Akane, give me your mallet.
Genma-Panda: [I'm doomed.]
Akane: Here. (Akane hands her hammer to Nodoka.)
Nodoka: Thank you, Akane. (Turning to Genma-Panda.) YOU STUPID, COWARDLY, SEXIST, BEAST!!!!!! *WOMP* *SMACK* *CRUSH* *WACK*
Akane (Pale) I-I-I think you over did it.
Ranma & Ranko: Good job!
Shampoo: Go for head last, it hurt more.
Ranko: Shampoo, could you please ask your Grandmother if she could find a way to cure me ?
Shampoo: Okay, Shampoo ask grandmother.
Ranko: Well get going ande come back soon!
Shampoo: Errr, okay.
------------ In the Neko Hanten --------------------------------------------------------------
Shampoo: Grandmother, I back.
Mousse: SHAMPOO! I LOVE YOU, SHAMPOO! *WOMP*
Shampoo: Shampoo have no time for stupid duck-boy!
Cologne: Why are you back so early, Shampoo? And how is Son-in-law?
Shampoo (bigsweating): Well.... errrr....
Cologne: Shampoo, what happaned?
Shampoo: Monster-boy come looking for the lech. He bring water to splash Happosai with to make good, but it same water.
Cologne (pale): *to herself* For the love of god, don't let there be two Happys. *out loud* Continue...
Shampoo: Monster-boy dump water on Ranma, not Happosai. Now there two Ranma's, one all boy and other all girl.
Cologne: And the female Ranma wants a cure, correct?
Shampoo: Yes.
Cologne: I must speak with her. Lets go.
---------- The Tendo Dojo ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Cologne: Hello.
Ranko: Is there a cure?
Cologne: No...
Ranko: W-w-what?!
Cologne: There is no feasible cure for the Spring of Drowned Twins--
Ranko: (cutting Cologne off) NO! IT CAN'T BE!
Cologne: Ahem!! As I was saying, there is no *feasible* cure. Kai-O-Shin earrings may be used as a cure... but they are virtually impossible to find.
Ranko: Great, I'll be back when I find 'em.
Cologne: Ranko, the chances of you getting a pair are next to nothing. And even then chances are that they will _NOT_ work.
Ranko (Depressed): Damn it.
Cologne: Shampoo, I didn't remember to tell you this but.... (pointing to Ranko) you must kill her.
Everyone: WHAT ?!
Shampoo: SHAMPOO WILL NEVER KILL CLONE-GIRL!
Cologne: Then do you undo the Kiss of Death?
Shampoo: Well................ okay. Shampoo does.
Cologne: Very well, you don't have to kill her. Lets go home Shampoo.
Shampoo: Shampoo want to spend time with husband!
Cologne: No, not today.
Shampoo: Darn it.
(Shampoo and Cologne leave.)
---------- on the Roof of an woman's hot-springs dressing room ---------------------------------
Happosai: So... it was the twins spring that did that to Ranma... THIS GIVES ME A WONDERFUL IDEA !!!!!!!!!!!! ( Happosai runs off heading west. )
---------- at the Tendo dojo ------------------------------------------------------------------
Kasumi: Hello, Ukyo.
Ukyo: Hi, Kasumi. Is Ran-chan in ?
Kasumi: Yes, come with me.
( Kasumi and Ukyo walk into the living room. )
Ukyo: Hiya... (Seeing Ranko and Ranma) RAN-CHAN ?
Ranko & Ranma: Hiya, Ucchan.
Ukyo: What happened here?
Nodoka: Hello. Who are you?
Ukyo: I'm Ran-chan's fiancee. Who are you.
Nodoka: I'm "Ran-chan's" mother, and Akane is his fiancee.
Ukyo: Yes, I am! Your husband and my father arranged it.
Nodoka: Tell me what happaned.
Ukyo: You see ... ( skip about ten minutes.) ... and thats how that's how I got engaged to Ran-chan.
Nodoka (Glowing Red): GENMA!!!!!!!!!!!! (Pulling out a Bokken.) GET OVER HERE!!!!!!
Genma-panda: [I'm doomed.]
Nodoka: Ukyo-chan, lets play a little game, "Kill the Panda".
Ukyo (smirking): I'm game.
Nodoka: Genma, you have ten seconds to run. One, two, TEN!
Genma-Panda: [NOT IN THE FACE!] (Genma starts to run but it's not fast enough.)
(Nodoka and Ukyo attack Genma and kick his ass.)
Soun: Ranma, your mother seems to be very skilled with the sword.
Akane: She is good. I wouldn't give Kuno three seconds.
Ranma: Three seconds?! Don't talk down about my mother.
Ranko: Yeah!
Akane: You're right... two seconds.
( Ukyo and Nodoka let Genma drop.)
Kinko: YUCKY, papa looks like road kill!
Ukyo: I have wanted to do that for YEARS.
Nodoka: So have I.
Ranma & Ranko: Why?
Nodoka: I'll tell you tomorrow... I have a solution that will preserve honor! Akane will marry
Ranma, and Ukyo will marry Ranko!
Ukyo: What??!!!
Nodoka: You lived as a boy for years, so it shouldn't be too big an
adjustment, right?
Ukyo: It wasn't like that!!!!
Nodoka: *sigh* Oh well... Lets just have dinner and have a peaceful night........
--------------- end part one -----------------------------------------------
Comeing soon: "Indiana P-Chan and the Two Jugs of Doom" or " Ryouga, the Lost Boy... and Girl?"
Thanks to my pre-readers, and You the reader.