From: Stephen Tsai
Date: Friday, May 08, 1998 12:55 AM

Richard Lawson wrote:

But never had he traveled beyond screaming, to a place where
each new flare of pain only caused him to whimper and sob.

You know, for true pain, you (that is, the crime guys) might consider
sticking Kyosuke inside a deep-pressurization chamber, play hob-nob
with the pressure for a few hours and teach Kyosuke the meaning
of the word "bends"...

Deep-pressure chambers are hard to come by.  Tables and rope are easy.  :)

"Ma... Madoka."

Would this be "Ayukawa" or "Madoka"?  He called her the former for
nearly 8 years, and the latter at best for 6 months (if I'm getting this
timeline correct.  In cases like this, one tends to fall back on habits.

Actually, although I don't say, I posit that he and Madoka have been... how
to say this... doing "C" for about four years now.  I think he's learned to
call her Madoka during that time.  :)

"You'll answer all my questions in time.

What questions?  Not that it's that important considering he disappears.

They were going to ask him questions about the Power, and who else in his
family might have them.  Kazuya is toast, but they thought about possibly
trying to recruit another ESPer.

"Don't you remember?"  Hikaru pointed to her mouth.  "I went around
late at night and attacked them all with lipstick."

This I don't get.

Or is this a manga story that didn't make it to anime?

<nod>  In one story, Hikaru wears lipstick to a date with Kyosuke, thinking
that it will make her seem older and mature.  Kyosuke doesn't even notice,
and in fact treats her more like a kid than an adult.  Hikaru gets depressed
about this, and laments the fact that she's nothing but a child to Kurumi.
Kurumi decides to "cure" Hikaru by using her Power to hypnotize Hikaru into
acting older.  It doesn't appear to work.  However, that night Hikaru gets
up in the middle of the night, buts on a sheer, form-fitting dress, puts on
lots of makeup, and goes out into the night.  She lures boys in by acting
slinky and amorous and then, when they're mesmerized by her come-ons, she
attacks them with lipstick, leaving them quivering on the ground, their
faces covered with lipstick.

Of course, eventually Kyosuke makes things better.

Nobody ever explains to Hikaru what happened to her, so I imagine that she
wondered about it for years.

"Silly."  Kurumi released Hikaru's wrist and jumped up into the air.
"Manami!"

Why jump?  Waving I can see.

Crowded room.  Kurumi's short.  And enthusiastic.  :)

Is Kazuya reading people's minds as he "scans the crowd" or is he
relying on facial expression?  If the former, surely Kazuya would sense
all this unbridled emotion.

The latter, because he can't risk using his Power in a room full of ESPers.

degrees of incredulity on their faces.  Then they looked at each for a
moment, and Hikaru could almost feel a silent communication taking
place.

This isn't telepathy right?  They're just "communicating" like family
members (esp twins) sometimes do because they know each other
so well.

Exactly right.  *This* kind of telepathy *anyone* who grew up together can
do.  ^_^

"Kurumi!" Hikaru hissed.  She began to move after Kurumi.

And couldn't.

Why would Kurumi do this (I'm assuming it's her)?  Especially doing it
to Manami as well?  Manami could push back if she wanted to.

Kurumi doesn't want them stopping her.  Manami *could* push back, but not
without creating a scene, and it's important not to attract attention right
now.

Just as it seemed Manami would run into Kyosuke, she swerved
and greeted Madoka.  Madoka responded gaily, and they were
soon chatting.

Just as Manami would run into?  Don't you mean Kurumi?  Manami's being
held by TK.

D'oh!

Madoka's face went slack.  Kurumi said something into her ear.  After
a few seconds, Kurumi whirled and walked off, leaving Madoka staring
blankly into space.

Between Kazuya's brainwashing and Kurumi's hypnosis, it's a wonder
Madoka's brain doesn't flow out of her ears...  Even if all this is
resolved in the end, Madoka's going to need some serious and expensive
sessions with several psychiatrists.

Hehehehe... this *will* be addressed by the end of the story.  You're
absolutely right, Madoka's brain has been put through the ringer.

Hands gripped his finger in a way that called to mind all sorts of
horrible memories he was trying desperately to suppress.  He
cried out in fear, then clenched his jaw.

Might help if she put a stick or something between his jaw so he can
brace himself better.

Hmm... good point.

One wall of the room was practically covered by stacks of
tin cans.  Food, he realized.

I'm not as familiar with the manga as the anime.  The anime used this
alternate universe in KOR TV #48.  A couple of questions:1) If society
has broken down to the point that even food is a challenge, then where
is the power coming from for the light and cooking (later)?

Light is a gas lamp, cooking is with a gas burner.  She's tapped into the
system of gas that was used in the school's science labs (I haven't
mentioned it yet, but they're holed up in Kyosuke's old high school).  See
below.

2) Is there anyone else here?  Surely she didn't carry out that raide by
herself.  She mentions the Kasuga twins, but that they died.  What about
the others?

In the manga story, Hatta and Komatsu were part of the police.  Akane was
the head of a rival gang.  Hikaru's gone off to America (this, too, will be
mentioned later).  And Madoka has deliberately separated herself from her
family.  So there really *is* no one else.

Now all four fingers were raised.  "You don't want to know what
happens on the fifth occurrence."

Madoka's open hand facing him probably brings back more painful
memories of junior high...:-)

Hehehehehe

When Akane's gang attacked.

In the anime, it was Yukari's gang...Did this Akane have her powers?

Nope.  Neither did the twins.  Kyosuke was the only one with Power.

He have to keep him from... from..."

We have to keep him...

D'oh!

Bunsen burner.  The smell was emanating from the pot - some kind of
stew, Kyosuke guessed.

A Bunsen burner assumes a ready supply of natural gas.  If things are so
far gone, where is it coming from?

The old high school's reserves.  It's not limitless, so Madoka *will* have
to do something about it eventually.

And yesterday - had it been only yesterday? - the talk had been
of ice cream.

Is it really that bad in the manga version?  In the anime version, the
sisters still lived in the Green Castle apartments, albiet w/ no older
brother.

They did in the manga, too, but you could see the signs.  Gangs were running
rampant through the streets.  The Abcb was closed, as were the businesses
around it.  The amusement park was being demolished.  If things continued
along in this fashion, I could very easily see this Earth becoming very much
like the Earth descriped in the "Hope" series - Midshipman's Hope,
Fisherman's Hope, etc.  As an aside, I recommend that series quite highly.

Akane looked around the table.  "No."

Hmm...just like in TBE, denial seems to be a trademarks of both
"Akane's". :-)

Hehehehe.

"And talking too much has always been one of yours."  Kurumi pulled on

"always been one of yours" what?  Strong points?

D'oh!  You're right, this doesn't work.

"Kazuya?"  Grandpa blinked at her.  "But he was just here, wasn't he?"

Is this Grandpa's fading vestiages of ESPer "seeing through" Kasuga or
just him rambling?

The former.

Grandma continued unheeding.  "But he left with Madoka-chan.  She's
going to be a wonderful granddaughter, don't you think, dear?"

If the answer to the previous question is "fading ESPer", then shouldn't
this be Grandpa saying this, not Grandma?

Grandma felt him, too.

 Besides, Grandma had said (in the anime) that she would have
preferred Hikaru. Grandpa's choice was Madoka.

Heh.  Nothing like that in the manga - Grandma liked Madoka, too.  There's
one story arc where Madoka and Kyosuke try to visit the islands in the
middle of the lake near the village where Grandma and Grandpa live.  Grandma
puts them through all sorts of hell in an effort to make Kyosuke admit out
loud that he loves Madoka.

The tall man nodded.  "I believe it may refer to Ayukawa Madoka.
She married a cousin of the boy's just today."

This would be a matter of extreme luck.  There are probably hundreds of
"Madoka's" in Tokyo.

But few "Madoka's" associated with the Kasuga family, which is where the
tall man would check.

He suddenly sat bolt upright, startled.  "What?"

OK, I think I see what you're trying here...  Kazuya is "hearing"
Kyosuke's rage across the parallel universes.  If possible, I'd edit
this scene so it is closer to, if not back-to-back with the realization
line.

Hmm.  Will think on it.

"Love you, Kyo-chan."  She sounded half-asleep.  "Nighty-night."  Her
breathing immediately became deep and regular.

Ordinarily I'd gripe about the "Kyo-chan" and "Nighty-night" as sounding
too "kiddie-ish" for Madoka, but given that these are probably implanted
by Kurumi and even if not directly, Madoka's brain is probably the
consistency of pea soup right now, I'd let them pass...

That's actually what it's supposed to imply, that Madoka's personality has
been radically altered by Kazuya.  She'll continue to revert to a more
child-like, air-headed state as the story progresses.

The only thing I'd bring up at this point is that it seems that Kazuya
(assuming he doesn't win completely) seems destined to be doomed to
die.  When Akane finds out, the shame to the family (a distinctly
Japanese thing) is going to be so great, it'll take an effort of will
not to get the entire family committing seppuku.

We'll see.  I do have plans about this.  ^_^

Stephen Tsai

Thanks for the comments, Stephen.  :)

-Richard