I'm starting to like how this fic is turning out. It's got a nice flow and
grabs my attention.

A few problems I noticed, however.

1) The tendency to shift POV between Ranma and the girl (Aiko?) is a little
disconcerting... I think it would be better just to stay in Ranma's head for
the entire narrative.

2) How Ranma speaks... I honestly cannot imagine Ranma speaking without
contractions. So use "It's" instead of "It is" etc... He's a very informal
person.

3) When Ranma was carrying her to Dr. Tofu's, it didn't seem physically
possible that he could slap his forehead.

4) Also, it seems like Dr. Tofu examined her while Ranma was holding her up in
the doorway... That kinda threw me off.

5) And if she had a fractured leg, wouldn't Ranma standing her up make the
problem worse?

Well, that's about all I caught. Keep it coming, Phil.

Damien Roc