On Sun, 3 May 1998, Richard Lawson wrote:

I'm going to do something I rarely do, and that is critisise Richard's
work: This story isn't ready. It has some major problems that make it
incoherent as a story. 

The past can be two things.  It can be full of sweet reminiscences, of
fond memories of days gone by.  Usually, however, such recollections are
tinged with melancholy, of a wish that the present would be better.  The
past is also filled with regret, of sometimes painful longing for the road
not taken, misgiving for the ill deed committed, remorse for the wrong
never set right.

One young man cursed the past almost daily.  He strode down the road next
to his love - he was one who happened to be quite happy with his present -
and thought over and over again about what he might have done differently.
He sighed and spoke so softly that the woman walking with him didn't hear.
"Please... I wish she'd find peace.  She doesn't deserve-"  His voice
caught, and this time the woman noticed and reached out to hold his hand.
He turned and smiled at her, drawing strength from her presence and for a
moment forgetting all about the past.

[...] 

The story never explains this scene. I'm going to call the universe where
Ranma + Akane have a child (#1) and the one where Akane killed Ranma
and never had a child (#2).

In universe #1 you have two _sane_ people who seem reasonable happy with
their lives. This Ranma would not have made the wish. No one else from
universe one who _might_ have made it appears in the story.

In universe twp you have a dead Ranma, a dead Ukyou, and Akane in a mental
hospital. It would be _possible_ for Ryouga to make the wish here - except
Akane is in an institution and Ryouga is happy with Akari. No couple on
the road. (re-reads again)  OK. It _could_ be Ryouga and Akari on the
road. I could buy that. 

"Never mind."  Tofu spoke in a calm, utterly soothing voice, and Akane
relaxed a little.  "Can you tell me your name?"

"S-Saotome Akane."

Ranma blinked.  Saotome?  Why did she think her name was Saotome?

Did you mean 'Tendo' here? Or are you implying that in universe #1, Ranma
took the Tendo name?

[...]

Nodding serenely, Kasumi turned her gaze to her husband.  "I'll take Nouma
with me and go back to our house.  I'll pack a few things and return here
in time to fix lunch."

Tofu looked at Kasumi evenly.  It was the first time Ranma had ever seen
anything like tension between them.  Finally, Tofu spoke in a cool tone of
voice.  "Very well."

Kasumi lowered her eyes, and Ranma could see flickers of regret in her
usually serene manner.  Then she turned and left the bedroom.

Tofu looked at Ranma's face, and again Ranma saw a first: Tofu looking
slightly angry.  "I truly hope you know what you are doing, Ranma.  It
would be a terrible tragedy if Akane were to die.  Terrible if it could
have been prevented."

How did we manage to jump from 'passes out when she see Ranam' and has
delusions to 'if Akane were to die'? 

No!  I love Ranma, love him so much.  After we got married I stopped
hitting him so much.

But you didn't stop, did you?

But it never hurt him!  Never!  I never beat him so hard that bruises
appeared.  I never sent him to the hospital!

True. This is the Akane from Universe #1. No evidence of a rage disorder
or spousal abuse given in the story.

[...]

Ranma looked at Tofu again, pleading with his eyes.  Tofu grimaced and
spoke in a tone that made it clear he was guessing.  "Akane appears to be
describing some sort of psychosis."

Ranma spoke softly to him.  "What kind of psychosis?"

"Intermittent Explosive Disorder, also known as rage disorder.  It is
often indicated by several discrete episodes of failure to resist
aggressive impulses that result in serious acts of assault or destruction
of property.  The degree of aggressiveness expressed during the episodes
is grossly out of proportion to any of the precipitating psycho-social
stressors."

How does Tofu make the leap from an apparently delusional Akane who
believes she killed Ranma (who is clearly NOT dead) to IED?

[...]

The past sighed happily.  She loved happy endings.

Ummm...Did I miss something? A sane and (up till now happy) Akane has been
'thrown to the wolves' for something she never did, while an insane Akane
is now living with the sane Akane's husband? IED doesn't just _go away_.
Its a serious illness and the Ranma of universe one is now the number one
target. Akane #2's promise to "never hit him again" is meaningless - she
will. And she will feel bad about it and promise "never to do it _again_,
andIreallymeanitthistime". Zen already showed where this goes.

This is a 'happy ending'? 

-- 
Benjamin Franz