On Sun, 3 May 1998, Richard Lawson wrote:

From: Benjamin "Snowhare" Franz
Sent: Sunday, May 03, 1998 9:06 AM

I'm going to do something I rarely do, and that is
critisise Richard's work:

:D  Please don't hesitate to do so.  It's why I sent it to the FFML, neh?

Yes, but the criticism is better when I'm better rested and comprehending
the obvious better. O_o

Did you mean 'Tendo' here? Or are you implying that in universe
#1, Ranma took the Tendo name?

In the TIL universe, Ranma took the Tendo name when he married Akane.

Ok.

How did we manage to jump from 'passes out when she see Ranam' and has
delusions to 'if Akane were to die'?

Tofu tells us.  He mentions that this could be a symptom of an aneurysm,
or a stroke, or any of a dozen very serious medical conditions.

Doh! Yes.

How does Tofu make the leap from an apparently delusional
Akane who believes she killed Ranma (who is clearly NOT
dead) to IED?

Read the paragraph after that one.  It's not Tofu who gives that
diagnosis, it's Akane.

Doh, again. (Not my morning for seeing the blindingly obvious)

Um... no.  Read the ending again - they switch back.  TILkane goes back to
the TILverse, and BEkane to the BEverse.

That makes a ball and three strikes. I must be out.

Thanks for the comments, Benjamin.  :)

You're kinder than you had to be.

The one comment I would stick with is - perhaps a note _before_ the
the story regarding the need to have read TBE and TIL first to really
'get' the story? Or a little more exposition to cover the knowledge gaps
for those who haven't read/don't remember them?

-- 
Benjamin Franz