I'll get the rest done on this later this week
Everyone owns what they own
Jason Van Dyke
vandyke@umr.edu

-----Original Message-----
From: Alandra <mystavash@geocities.com>
To: fanfic@fanfic.com <fanfic@fanfic.com>

Date: Sunday, May 03, 1998 5:53 PM
Subject: [FFML][short-fic][Ranma 1/2]Mistake!

Mike: Well the first step IS to admit it.

, based on a question posed by Jon Farber

Tom: let's spread that blame around a little

"And that got me to thinking,

Crow: how can I self-insert myself today

what would it be like, to be a boy,

Crow: I won't even bother commenting that

living in the anime world, and you go to school and you meet this absolutly
GORGEOUS specimen of XX chromosomes,

Mike: Thats female for you lay people
Tom: like you would know mike
Mike: Hey...

and you start dating, and the two of you hit it off,

Crow: then the two of you get it off.
Mike: crow do you need a time out.

and everything is going nicely,

Tom: OK I think you've had enough commas for tonight
Crow: [as author] I'll tell you when I've had enough!

and then she asks you

Mike: to stop following her around

to come over to her house and meet her parents...  And they turn out to
be Ranma and Akane...You can see that they are in better shape then you
will ever be in,

Tom: You girly-man

and could probably break you by blinking.

"Dinner goes great,

Mike: Must be take-out

and then, after dinner, while Akane and Sumire are
in the kitchen doing the dishes, Ranma waves you over, and the two of
you start talking,

Tom: This will be known as the first mistake

and you are getting along famously.  You actually
forget
that you are in the presense of a living legend, you actually start to
think that he is just one of the guys, and not your girlfriend's father,
not the saviour of the world.

Crow: so he's the son of god now
Tom: does that mean that Gendo is god?
Crow: don't even say that!!

So he casually asks you about sex,

Crow: Doesn't ranma know about sex by this point

and you reply.

Tom: you reply *what*??
Crow: [as boy] Mr. Saotome your little girl is a quite a screamer

Big Mistake.

Mike: really, I would never have gussed

Now, I am curious.  What do you think their reaction would be to a
normal, mundane, everyday boy admiting that he has had sexual
intercourse with their daughter.  Ranma ...or whomever else...

Tom: dismembership
Mike: and then the real pain starts

How much of this poor boy would be left recognizable?

Crow: less then .00001%

John Farber

My Response to the above (I cut out some stuff to keep it
short...relatively...well, dammit, it could have been longer! :)

All: Thank you Alandra!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Mistake!
by Alandra.  Based on question posed by John Farber.

Ranma 1/2 and assorted characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi

Tom: The master of all that is good in the universe

, and

Crow: viewers like you

related companies.
Street Fighter is owned by someone I don't know.

Mike: so she knows Rumiko Takahashi?

So far as I know,
there is no such thing yet as Street Fighter Beta or Gamma.

Crow: not till christmas

Both are used without permission for entertainment purposes only.
Aina and Yoshiro Saotome are fictional characters created by me.

Mike:[as Alandra] I AM GOD! BAHAHAHA!!!!

Used
with permission for odd purposes only.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-----------

<*snip Ranma and Akane Saotome, married five years, no kids, find baby
girl on their door-step*>

Tom: well that what they told the cops anyway

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-----------
Ten year old Aina Saotome tossed a ball at her eight year old brother's
books, interrupting his studying.

Crow: lets do the time warp again

Yoshiro Saotome was the only true
biological child of Ranma and Akane Saotome, as both the children knew,
but neither cared.

Mike: but it's still fun to point out

The way Aina figured it, mommy was mommy even if she
wasn't mommy.

Crow: huh?

After all, Auntie Kasumi was mommmy's mommy, but she
wasn't _really_ mommy's mommy.

Tom: I need an drink

'Cause that would have made Auntie
Kasumi Grandma Kasumi, and she wasn't grandma Kasumi, she was Auntie
Kasumi, therefore, mommy is mommy.

Crow: it's the logic problem from hell

"C'mon, Yoshiro, let's play!" she exhorted to her younger brother.
Yoshiro was a quiet and studious boy,

Mike: in other words, he's a nerd

definitely an oddball to his
parents, who were very physically oriented.  He had his father's face
and figure, but his mother's hair and eyes

Tom: give those back to her

, which would, eventually,
culminate into a face that would break more hearts that Ranma had.

Crow: Aina on the other hand was butt-ugly

Ranma, though, like Akane, disappointed in his son's lack of interest in
their dojo, was not as worried as his wife, because he sensed a great
deal of latent talent in Yoshiro

Mike: but talent for what, we don't know

, talent that could even rival his own.
"Go away, Aina," Yoshiro said irritably, pushing the ball to the floor,

Tom: isn't that gravity's job?

"I'm studying."
"But you're _always_ studying!" she complained, tucking a wayward
strand of black hair behind her ear.  Besides the occasional trimming,
her hair had never been cut, and she habitually wore it in a functional
braid, reminiscent of her father's pigtail.  Yoshiro, whether by design
or convience, kept his cropped short, in a much more traditional
fashion.

Crow: and the point of that is?

"Pleeeeaase?" she begged.
"No."
"I'll tell Achiko's mother you kissed Achiko in the playground!" she
threatened, arms akimbo.

All: akimbo??

Panicked, he looked around to see if anyone had heard her. "How'd you
know about that?!" he hissed.
She only smiled smugly.

Mike: [as aina] I have spys everywhere!

<<Ah!  Thought so.  Achiko was blushing way
too much when I said hello yesterday.  Just wanted to swing on the
swings, yeah right.>>  Yoshiro, despite his quiet, studious, manner, was
quite a Casanova among the ladies.

Tom: Mac-Daddy Yoshiro

He had the rather odd opinion that
practice makes perfect, and was determined to get as much practice as he
could.

Crow: He's a slut in other words

No one knew really where he got this from, but most attributed
it to a combo between Uncle Mikado and Uncle Kuno.

Crow: So Mikado and Kuno are...
Mike: Dont even say it
Crow: I was just going to say "together"

"You've been hanging around Aunt Nabiki too much." he muttered, closing
his books and setting them below his chair.  "All right, you win."
She hugged him using the Saotome special flying tackle technique.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" she cried, exuberantly.
"Can't...breathe..." he gasped, his face turning blue.

Tom: then red then white

Aina released him, only to pull on his arms.

Crow: ripping them off

"C'mon, let's go!"
"Go where?" he asked, suspiciously.  And with good reason.  Aina found
trouble like Uncle Ryouga got lost; easily, and just by moving.

Tom: How do you get lost without moving??

She
inherited it from her father. And her mother.

Mike: But she was the one that was left on the doorstep.  How do they
          know her father or mother?

And her grandfather.
And her Uncle Ryouga.  And her Uncle Mousse.  And her Auntie Xian Pu.

Crow: And everyone else in the cast

In fact, Aina inherited it from just about every one of Ranma's
"friends" in Nerima, all of whom she cheerfully called either Auntie or
Uncle.

Tom: for no apparent reason

Even Auntie Kodachi.  Sometimes, especially Auntie Kodachi.

Mike: we probably don't want to know why
Crow: Be afraid, be *vary* afraid

Yoshiro was more respectful, usually addressing these same people with
the more formal -san.
"To the park, silly!"
"Ummm, I'd rather not.." he said, rather fearfully.  Unkind people
inhabited that grove.

Tom: in other words he gets his ass kicked there

"Whatsa matter?" she asked, concerned at his pale face.
"There may be a few people there I don't want to see." Yoshiro replied
carefully.
She bonked him on the head.  "What did I tell you about making out with
girls who _already_ have boyfriends?!"

Tom: [as yoshiro] charge for it?

"Umm, big no-no?"  He looked sheepish.
"Geez, if you're like this when you're eight..." she muttered under her
breath.  She shrugged, and admonished him, "Just remember it!"  Then she
set off in the opposite direction from the park, to the ice cream shop,
where people who had two digits to their age generally frequented.  Nine
year old tough guys with fickle girlfriends usually didn't bother with
it.  But there were some cute 19-year olds who did...

Mike: lets keep this fic legal

Yoshiro frowned as she calmly skipped over Uncle Ryouga, using the
fanged lost man's broad shoulders as a launching pad to leap over
several cars in the street, keeping a firm grip on Yoshiro.

Crow: Ryouga's great life as a launching pad

He resigned
himself to calling out apologies to astonished pedestrians.  <<geez, if
she's like this when she's ten, what's life gonna be like when she's
twenty?>>
Let's find out, shall we?

All: NO

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-
10 years later, Aina (now 20) and Yoshiro Saotome were marked as the
most beautiful people in Nerima.
Yoshiro Saotome, at 18, and a senior at Furinkan, had an impressive
record.

Crow: theft, murder, armed robbery ....

There was not a pretty girl in Nerima Yoshiro had *not* dated.

Mike: and given a S.T.D. to

And he still had that nasty habit from when he was 8.  It had earned him
a lot of enemies, but the heir to the Saotome-Tendo school of Anything
Goes Martial Arts had the uncanny ability to slip right out of their
hands.  Where he had aquired this twisting agility is a question best
left unanswered...

Tom: becuse we still don't know who her parents are.

He believed it best to run and live to run another day, but on the
point of his sister, he stood firm.  He was always on her side, a
problem that exasperated Ranma and Akane.  Neither parent, however,
could stay angry with their children for long.  Yoshiro was Akane's
first born, a Mama's boy, if you will, just as Aina was Daddy's little
girl.

Mike: in more ways then one I'll bet

But Daddy's little girl's gone to college, and she's been very
naughty...

Crow: it was time to spank her!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*<Aina's apartment, near Tokyo University>*-*-*-*-*

"Come in, Sato!" Aina said, easily, giving her boyfriend of six months
a lingering kiss.  Sato Dansha closed the door with his foot, focusing
on kissing back the beautiful girl in his arms.
She broke the kiss (he would never do so on his own free will), and
nuzzled his neck gently.
"Ahh, you said...you had some thing to show me?"

Mike: CROW!!
Crow: I didn't say anything!

he managed to get out,
bravely. <<If you're going to drown>>, he thought, <<this is the way to
go.>>
"hmmAmh"

All: hmmAmh???

Aina murmured affirmatively.  He watched as her hand reached
behind her neck to tug at the strings of her gown.

Tom: It's a lemon!!
Crow: Yea!!!!

She led Sato to the
back of the apartment, a wide, ridiculously happy grin plastered on his
face.  <<yup>> he decided, deliriously happy, <<this is the way to go.>>
He had other thoughts too, but this is not a lemon fic so...

<*snip lemon*>

Crow: Nooooooooooo!<sobs>

One week later...
<*snip lemon*>

Crow: Nooooooooooo!<sobs>

The next day...

<*snip lemon*>

Crow: Nooooooooooo!<sobs>

For the next two weeks...
<*snip lemon*>

Crow: Nooooooooooo!
Tom & Mike: That's enough crow!!
Croe: <sobbing> It's so crule

<How about we skip on to the next month, where something actually
happens in this story other than gratuitous sex? Agreed?

Crow: no

Want the sex?

Crow: Yes

Oh, go read Punch.>

[Scene: A classy restaurant, known as The Empress, located in uptown
Tokyo.]
"Wow, this place is pretty select, and even then, the lines are huge!
Howd'ya get us in so fast?" whispered Sato, from across the table.
Aina shrugged, and he appreciated the interesting movements that simple
act made.  "I have connections." she said casually.
"Your father?" he guessed.

Tom: [as aina] no the mob

Her lips quirked into a small smile.  "You could say that." she
agreed.  <<Well,>> she reasoned with herself, <<when the owners are
Auntie Ucchan, and Auntie Xian Pu, you _could_ say it was Daddy.>>
"So?" Sato pressed.  Aina was, by nature, a bossy person.

Mike: A bitch in fact

And she
always had a reason for doing everything.
"So what?" she asked innocently, her eyes wide.
"C'mon, spill it.  I know of better things to do on a night like
this..." he leered, and she blushed a little, fumbling with her napkin.
He wasn't fooled for a second.  "And so do you." he added.
She lifted her chin, and glared at him in mock-anger.  "Well," she
pouted, "if you would rather study for your exams..."
"Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?"  He was amused.

Mike: Spoken like a drop-out

"Uh-huh.  Full of books, and notes, and flat surfaces..." she trailed
off suggestively.
Sato felt the call of nature.  "Let's blow this joint." he said
urgently.

Tom: drugs are fun

"No." Aina said firmly.  "You haven't heard what I wanted to ask you."
He groaned.  Aina had recently discovered the power of the "cold-shower
threat."  A potent threat, indeed, to the average horny college male.
"What?  Anything!"
"Anything?  Really?" she leaned forward.  He leaned forward too, but
that was more to look down her cleavage than anything else.

Mike: it must be love

"Anything." he promised.  "Just so we can go home, real soon."  (Sato
had moved into her apartment.)
"Funny you should mention 'home'..." she began, as she leaned back into
the chair.  Sato nearly crashed his face into the candle arrangement in
the center of the table trying to follow her <insert appropriate word
here>.

Crow: Whats the point